Saga - PT A solution to a bored crime lord including Poison gas, monstrous slugs and jawas

Title: A solution to a bored crime lord including Poison gas, monstrous slugs and jawas
Author: clone commander bossk
Genre: Humor, crack!fic, adventure
Characters: Jabba the Hutt, Kijer'up Fortuna
Timeframe: PT
Synopsis: Jabba has a bad case of boredom so fearing for his life his major domo arranges a chaotic brutal game of Huttball
Notes: Written for the “Something Borrowed, Something New” Mod Challenge. My prompts Were: Trope: Benched Hero
Words: Commentary, Hypocrite, Swoop
Dialogue: “We have among us a new gem, a new flower, a new star.”
Random Story Element: A misquote
Picture: On a phone right now, so can't put it up. I'll do that soon.



Chapter 1


Jabba had been bored.

He'd tried dating which hadn't gone particularly well, so Jabba wasn't lovesick. He then decided to feed all of his prisoners to the sarlacc which didn't do anything for him either.

He then took a page out of his uncle Ziro's book and thought the might have needed a new outfit. He set up a large dressing room filled with brightly coloured jewelry robes and wigs. He tried a different outfit every hour or so which made for a very interesting visual but made Jabba no less bored.

Jabba's major domo, Kijer'up Fortuna had been digging through the Hutt databanks in a desperate effort not to end up rancor food in Jabba's next attempt at 'entertainment' and found something sure to occupy the fat slug for at least long enough for Kijer'up to get off Tatooine.

"Yes, lord Jabba. It's called Huttball,started by a nikto under the employ of Giradda the Hutt over twenty thousand years ago. The game revolves around an explosive ball with a timer for ten minutes. The two teams have to get the explosive across the enemy's line by any means necessary aside from kicking. Yes kicking Lord Jabba, I believe it was a sign of respect towards Hutts as to you're Ahem, lack of feet. Yes, well the pitch is full of traps such as dioxis gas, molten lava and oversized chainsaw blades. Indeed, that is a very interesting idea lord Jabba, but I haven't the faintest idea where we'd get so many klor'slugs Yes, lord Jabba I will see to it at once.

Kijer'up wiped his brow as soon as he had exited the throne room. He wasn't rancor food, for now.

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Aaand I posted the thread by accident

Guess it's a WIP thread.

 

Interesting beginning

 

Thanks devil

 

Fantastic visual, I can just imagine nervous servants "helping" to change outfits on him.

Aaaand he exits, stage left, well engineered get away, Kijer'up!