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Beyond - Legends A Still, Small Voice - A poem for the disenfranchised (Timeframe - VP) 9/26 Illustrations

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tahi, Aug 27, 2005.

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  1. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Title: A still, small voice
    Author: Tahi
    Genre: Poem
    Timeframe: Vector Prime
    Characters: Hmmmm - you'll have to read it.

    This poem has been floating around in my head for a while. I can't remember specifically what gave me the idea for it, but I guess I'll dedicate it to my dad who instilled in me a deep respect for the natural world, and a desire to see the "humbler" works of creation preserved. :)

    ***********

    A still, small voice

    Doom . . . a symphony of
    discord earbashing the land,
    drowning its protestations
    under thunderous swells,
    percussion clash of storms
    unheralded, unparalleled
    . . . undeserved.

    Like tremulous quavers in the tumult,
    like a whisper of woodwind above
    the orchestra of apocalypse - a still,
    small voice pipes its haunting lament
    for the hopeless . . . falters, fades.

    We are dying . . . heed our cry.

    Vegetable by nature,
    the Belkadan sundew
    commands no armies,
    basks not in seats of power
    but in the mothering
    warmth of swamps.
    Its feats go unrecorded,
    its presence understated:
    entry four thousand and sixty
    in the Botanica Galactica.
    Toiling not nor spinning
    it is neither newsworthy
    nor heroic, and yet it too
    can claim a victory of sorts
    . . . survival.

    Through the soup haze of primeval mists,
    through mauve stipple and rose stripe
    of countless dawns, the tiny plant clung
    obstinately to its link in the great chain
    that cycles oiled and smoothed by the habits
    of millennia - birth, fruition, death, rebirth.
    Tuned to this ancient refrain, it prospered,
    quietly suckling through root umbilicals,
    its halo of crimson villi unintentional witness
    to the fiery cataclysms that mark the death
    of stars, to comet trails scarring the ether dome.

    Extinction, therefore, was unexpected.
    The march of seasons gave no
    hint of impending doom, no
    tell-tale mutations, no
    signals of demise.
    One day
    there were beetles,
    a crawling carapace of beetles
    razing the land, turning verdant green
    to rotting compost the colour of dried blood.

    And we will hear
    no trumpet call
    to mourn its passing,
    only a still, small voice
    on gossamer solar winds
    crying into the infinite void:

    Save us we are . . .

    ~Tahi~
     
  2. Briman

    Briman Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2004
    That was interesting, for sure. It got me thinking =D=
     
  3. FelsGoddess

    FelsGoddess Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 5, 2004
    =D= Very thought provoking. I like it. Great job!
     
  4. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi VIP star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    I'll dedicate it to my dad who instilled in me a deep respect for the natural world, and a desire to see the "humbler" works of creation preserved.

    Aww, that was sweet. I liked that :)

    Absolutely beautifully written poem, Tahi =D= Such great imagery in there, describing Belkadan and the destruction it would suffer. Also liked the reference to the Botanica Galactica :p

    Loved the style, reminded me a little of your Kyp poem from a couple years ago for some reason.

    And we will hear
    no trumpet call
    to mourn its passing,
    only a still, small voice
    on gossamer solar winds
    crying into the infinite void:
    Save us we are . . .


    Perfect ending. The combination of words read just right :)

    Great work, Tahi :D
     
  5. Thrawn McEwok

    Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 9, 2000
    Just what I needed today, Tahi! [:D]

    I might post a more extended response later, but I worry that I couldn't do it justice - and I don't want to diminish the mystery of the poem... I can't even find a word to sum up how that makes me feel...

    Thank you. :)

    - The Imperial Ewok
     
  6. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    The poem's language is amazing. =D= Loved these two images:

    And I liked the "no" at the end of each line here:

    So much emphasis on how completely unexpected the invasion was. Wonderful work!
     
  7. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Woah.... I don't even know where to begin. Your poems leave me speechless, and this one was extremely powerful. Your command of language just astounds me... The flow of this piece was utterly haunting. =D= Brilliant work!
     
  8. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Briman
    Hi there - great to meet a new reader. :) Thanks. Yeah - odd angle to take I know, but as the books are always concerned with the cost to people, I couldn't help thinking about the cost to other things.

    Goddess
    Thanks. :) And thanks for popping in and reading. Always appreciated muchly.

    Yoda
    Yeah - now you mention it there are some echoes there, especially in the "no" sequence. Similar pacing too in places. I guess that's my "thinking about doom" voice. LOL

    Thanks as always for reading, and glad the imagery worked. I usually try and focus on a single metaphor when writing a poem - mainly to keep the images from running rampant. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. :D With this poem it was the comparison between the destruction and a loud discordant orchestral piece - kind of like a Stravinsky piece gone wrong. ;)

    JadeSolo
    Hi there, Jade. Good to see you here. :) And thanks.

    So much emphasis on how completely unexpected the invasion was.
    Glad that emphasis came through. That was one of the things I was trying to do. :) That's why the poem kind of ends a bit suddenly without too much description - to show how it all happened so fast and so much without preamble. Usually I try and balance a poem so it has a "rounded off" feel, but I didn't do that here, because I wanted the pacing to match the events

    Thrawn
    Just what I needed today, Tahi!
    Good timing for once. LOL

    Thanks for the feedback - that was just what I needed. :)

    Thank you.
    You're welcome.

    K_A
    Awww - thanks. Language IS fun to play with. Thanks for the comment on the flow and the atmosphere - I'm never sure if the various aspects are going to work, so feedback on specifics is extremely useful. :) Thanks again. Much appreciated.
     
  9. jedi_of_ennth

    jedi_of_ennth Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2005
    =D= That was absolutely gorgeous. =D=
     
  10. _Jedi_of_Destiny_

    _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 17, 2003
    Whoah! :eek: The poem was amazing. You have a gift in the way you use language. Astounding. I can't even describe it. I loved the flow of thought-Belkdan going through the natural phases, birth, frution death, rebirth--and then killed from something it couldn't predict. Wonderful! I'm not going to say anymore. For a poem like this, more explaining would just tarnish it. :) Well done, Tahi. One of your best.
     
  11. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    jedi_of_ennth
    Hi again - how are things going? Thanks for reading. :)

    Destiny
    Hey there - good to see you, too. How are things with you?

    Thanks for the feedback - I appreciate it. It took me a few days to rearrange some of the lines in this poem, so I'm glad to hear that the unexpectedness of the invasion came through, and also the sense of an age-long natural cycle meeting an untimely end.
     
  12. Jek_Windu

    Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2003
    That was beautiful, and I really liked the premise and how you wrote from the viewpoint of the planet's lifeforms, as if they were one being. Great stuff.
     
  13. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Thanks, Jek. Well I figured that from a Force point of view, the sundew and the planet as a whole would be felt and heard a bit like people - to a Jedi anyway. ;) Thanks for reading. :)
     
  14. JDH3

    JDH3 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    *Sits in stunned silence for a long moment* :eek:

    Now that was remarkable, my friend. Just...wow, really. =D= I'm trying to come up with a coherent review, but I'm in something of a daze. Very power, beautiful, poignant piece of work.

    Extremely well done, Tahi. =D=


    JD.
     
  15. LianaMara

    LianaMara Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2000
    I love your poems, Tahi. You have this way of capturing thoughts and portraying them perfectly. The imagery (which was absolutely gorgeous), the idea that the entire planet could have a voice to speak against what the Vong had done . . . magnifique! :D [face_love]
     
  16. Jedi_Jaina_Durron

    Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 1, 2001
    That was simply lovely. =D= I don't think I've read any of your poetry before, but I will in the future, because I love your diction. Lovely.
     
  17. JediTristan

    JediTristan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2004
    O Tahi, you make me happy...

    I always have believed that SW and poetry don't mix, simply because...well, because to me poetry is emotion and reflection and no one has the time for that in Star Wars. If anything, they have terse prose soliloquys.

    But this is a great poem, full of style, and here it sits on the BotS board!

    I am impressed.
     
  18. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Aww - thanks so much for the lovely comments, guys. :) I have to rush back to work now, but will reply individually later tonight.
    Aroha
     
  19. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    JDH3

    *Sits in stunned silence for a long moment*
    Pokes JD to see if he's okay. Waves a cappuchino under his nose. Whew! ;)

    Thanks. :) I'm just a hippy at heart. LOL

    Li
    Hey - great to see you. Ca va bien?
    You have this way of capturing thoughts and portraying them perfectly.
    Aww - thanks. Sometimes the old Muse gets it right - at other times I just have to leave a poem and wait for the "mot juste".

    Merci beaucoup pour les mots doux. :)

    Jedi_Jaina_Durron
    Hi there. :) Always great to meet a new reader.
    I don't think I've read any of your poetry before, but I will in the future, because I love your diction. Lovely.
    Wow - thanks for that. I DO enjoy poetry. If you have a spare moment I have quite a few in my profile. ;)

    JediTristan
    O Tahi, you make me happy...
    Yay! :)

    I always have believed that SW and poetry don't mix, simply because...well, because to me poetry is emotion and reflection and no one has the time for that in Star Wars. If anything, they have terse prose soliloquys
    Half the fun is finding a gap in which to insert a poem. LOL


    Thanks again for reading, guys. :)
    Arohanui
     
  20. JediTristan

    JediTristan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2004
    battlebattlevictorypartypo
    em-battlestruggleslee-
    poemtrainingbattleshippingoutpo
    em...
     
  21. oldjedinurse

    oldjedinurse Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2003
    =D=

    Wonderful, Tahi!

    The imagery really struck me, having just watched so many television images of Katrina's aftermath. There are parallels...

    Leaving current events aside, this is a beautiful vision of the meaning of VP. I loved it.

    oldj
     
  22. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    JediTristan
    Hee hee. You've invented a new form of poem methinks. :D

    ojn
    Great to see you. Thanks for the feedback on the imagery.

    Yes - there are some very unfortunate parallels with the Katrina situation. What a terrible, terible thing that is.


    Again - thanks for reading, everyone.
     
  23. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    My wookieehut friend has done some illustrations for the poem, and you can view them [link=http://www.wookieehut.com/fic/astillsmallvoice.html]here[/link] :)
     
  24. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi VIP star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    Wow, those are great! :D
     
  25. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Yep. They are like the image I had in my head when I was writing. :) Now if she would just finish the cover art for MHR . . . LOL
     
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