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Saga All Falls Down (TPM-era AU, Obi/Siri) Winner: Best Action, Winter 2004 Reader's Choice

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Vivid_Scripts, Jul 4, 2004.

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  1. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    All Falls Down
    by Vivid Scripts

    All Praises Due: To George Lucas, who created the Star Wars Universe and the handful of Cannon Characters I used. To Blizzard Entertainment, who created the Protoss race, which I also use within the context of the story line

    Updates: Every Sunday and Wednesday

    Special Thanks: To Reihla and Jedikma, my Betas, who have both done quite a lot to help me.

    Timeframe: TPM

    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi, Palpatine, Maul, Nute Gunray, various OC's

    A/N: This story basically takes place in the same AU as my other story, "Blood of a Slave". Those of you who read it will know that this picks up on a plot hole that I conveniently left there. I've spent the past month working on this, and while I've finished a handful of chapters, its still very much a WIP.

    Well, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Tell me what you think- any feedback would be appreciated.

    Prologue

    The steel cylinder fell to the floor, creating a loud clatter that echoed throughout the nearly empty chambers.

    Obi-Wan trembled as he realized he had clumsily dropped it, and hastily snatched it back up into his hands. It had been five weeks since he had last held the weapon in his hand, five weeks since he had wielded its ethereal, viridian blade against that horrifying dark warrior. The link Obi-Wan once had with his master had been severed so suddenly, so ruthlessly. Even now, it still bled endlessly, creating a fountain of strife and agony within the young Knight. He had attempted to hide this upwelling of emotions for the duration of his stay at the temple, yet it remained an impossible task.

    Master?

    Agony beckoned for sorrow to join him, and yet again Obi-Wan descended into a sea of despair. Had he failed so miserably? Crimson flashed as he once again looked upon his master?s corpse. His mind?s eye filled with tears as it analyzed that tragic moment, when the Sith Warrior?s blade skewered his master?s chest.

    No!

    It was only for a moment that he had to endure that unbearable agony. The agony dissipated, only to be replaced by this intangible blanket of despair that hovered like a demon in the mist. It lurked about during Qui-Gon?s funeral pyre- Obi-Wan could feel the demon burning holes through him as he exchanged pleasantries with various Jedi Masters.

    Why were you unable to kill me, Jedi?

    It mocked. It taunted. It ridiculed.

    What is it you seek?

    Vengeance.

    You had your chance. Obi-Wan?s expression flickered with disdain as the demon lowered its hood, revealing the face of the warrior that had slain his master. You failed.

    With that, he was dispelled into darkness. Obi-Wan shuddered. Every confrontation with that demon left him more insecure, more vulnerable and exposed. Three things he had grown to hate over the past few weeks. He responded to this newfound sense of weakness by distancing himself from the other Jedi at the temple. The gap between Obi-Wan and the Order was growing.

    The council had refused to believe his claims that Qui-Gon?s murderer was indeed a Sith warrior. They instead insisted that it must have been some sort of rogue Jedi. Master Windu, as stolid and calculating as ever, named five high-end Jedi Masters that had left the Order in the past four years. Even Yoda could not see merit in Obi-Wan?s claim; he only noted that the identity of master Qui-Gon?s slayer was ?shrouded in mystery?.

    To make matters worse, Obi-Wan was then made to testify before the Senate concerning the events that had transpired on Naboo and Tatooine. He related to the senators how the Federation attempted to kill him and his master and how they witnessed the invasion of Naboo. He later chronicled the escape through the blockade and the reasons why they were forced to land on Tatooine for repairs. He gingerly told them of Qui-Gon?s fall and of the ?rogue Jedi? who had kidnapped Queen Amidala.

    The Senate, as usual, had erupted into heated debate a
     
  2. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Wow!! A great start. I look forward to more soon. :)
     
  3. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Heavy twist of things there! Mesa likes!! Great work! Can't wait for more! :D :D Loved the emotional angst of Obi dealing with his Master's death. Great play of words and feelings there!
     
  4. Alixen

    Alixen Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2003
    I like! I really, really like!

    This is a fantastic idea, and as a bonus, its gunna be Obi/Siri!

    If i remeber correctly, at this point Siri is eather just leaving for her undercover job with Krayn or she is already doing it.

    I agree with Obi-Wan's feeling here completely, if only the rest of the Jedi, in Lucas-verse also, had taken notice, a lot of the bad events could have been avoided.

    I wondered why you hadnt brought Obi-Wan back into Blood of a Slave ;)


    The thing is, how will Siri respond to him leaving the Order a second time? i wouldnt wanna be Obi, wait, yes i would! keeping my looks of course o_O

    Please post more soon :D im not sure how long i can hold out without updates to such a good idea O_O


    When it is finished, may i add it to the Archive in my sig please?
     
  5. sdhfs

    sdhfs Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 22, 2004
    nice story i love obi/siri's
     
  6. solojones

    solojones Winner, JCC Two Truths & A Lie star 10 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    Oooh, so I finally get to know whatever happened to Obi-Wan during that missing time in Blood of a Slave. Excellent! :)

    And I have to admit I'm a sucker for Obi/Siri. Can't wait to see where this goes.

    [hl=darkgreen]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
     
  7. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Gina- Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it.

    Kynstar- Loved the emotional angst of Obi dealing with his Master's death
    I feel that the reprecussions of Qui-Gon's death and the long-term effect it had over Obi-Wan really was something left unexplored by the movies. By writing this fic, I really got a chance to kind of flesh out the internal conflicts there, I guess. Thanks for reading. :)

    Alixen- If i remeber correctly, at this point Siri is eather just leaving for her undercover job with Krayn or she is already doing it.

    This is AU. None of those things have happened. You'll be introduced to Siri (as well as what shes been up to) in Chapter 1.

    I agree with Obi-Wan's feeling here completely, if only the rest of the Jedi, in Lucas-verse also, had taken notice, a lot of the bad events could have been avoided.

    Perhaps, but the Jedi are too set in their traditions to do otherwise. They served the Republic for twenty thousand years, it would be very difficult for them to learn to do something else.

    The thing is, how will Siri respond to him leaving the Order a second time?

    Who said he left the Order? hmmm?

    When it is finished, may i add it to the Archive in my sig please?


    Sure. Thanks for reading, Alixen.

    sdhfs- Thanks

    sj- Oooh, so I finally get to know whatever happened to Obi-Wan during that missing time in Blood of a Slave.

    Heh, well it's good to see that more people read Blood of a Slave than I thought. Im glad you're enjoying it so far

    ----

    I have to thank all of you for your support. I'm going to update every four days, which means that the next post will be up on Thursday.
     
  8. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Whew - I just did a marathon read of Blood of Slave, and I loved it! :D Very cool AU. I can't wait to see where you take this one. ;) I thought it was interesting how the Council didn't believe Obi-Wan - I hadn't considered that might happen if Qui-Gon wasn't there, but it's very believable. And I love Obi/Siri, so I can't wait to see where that comes in. ;)

    :D
     
  9. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Hiya Vivid , I'm back and I see you started to post! :)

    Well you already know my in depth comments on this prologue
    ;) and it's looking great!

    Hey everyone! I have been privy to at least the first four chapters so far and it is really good, so stay tuned! :D
     
  10. isola

    isola Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2004
    OOOh!! I like! A wronged Obi-Wan, tradition bound council. Yeah!
     
  11. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Oh wow! Very interesting and well written. I can't wait to see where this goes.
     
  12. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Obaona- I thought it was interesting how the Council didn't believe Obi-Wan - I hadn't considered that might happen if Qui-Gon wasn't there, but it's very believable

    Thanks. In TPM, after Qui-Gon fought Maul on Tatooine and reported to the council, they didn't believe him at first, so that kind of made me think they'd be less inclined to take the word of Obi-Wan, who at the time was just a Padawan.

    Jedikma- Hey everyone! I have been privy to at least the first four chapters so far and it is really good, so stay tuned!

    I can't say enough how much your support and help has meant to me. Thanks so much, Jedikma.

    isola- A wronged Obi-Wan, tradition bound council. Yeah!

    Even in the Cannon universe it seems that the bind of traditions is what caused the Council's downfall.

    AnakinsHeir- Thanks.

    ------

    Alright, I've decided to change my posting schedule. I've been looking over and making some last-minute changes to the chapters I have ready for release, and I realized just how long they are. I've decided to cut each chapter into parts, but then speed up the release cycle. Updates now come every Sunday, Wendesday, and Friday.
     
  13. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Chapter I
    Part 1 of 2
    Huntress


    Thirty Months later?


    Jedi Sentinel Siri Tachi tentatively shuffled her way through the crowd. The Theed Spaceport?s small auxiliary landing and loading sites were offline, thus shunting many of the smaller freighters and passenger ships to the main landing bays. As a result, the spaceport?s halls were extremely congested. The sheer volume of people attempting to get in and out created massive headaches and long lines. Some of the pile-ups occasionally resulted in violence. A few rowdy boys stepped on each other?s toes and a few petty disagreements degenerated to fisticuffs and wrestling matches that only added to the chaos and traffic.

    Siri couldn?t wait to get away from them. She had a strong dislike for assignments on densely populated worlds, but especially for planets like Naboo. Similar to many worlds in the sector, Naboo was a Federation annexed-world, and it was crawling with those industrial/commercial vermin that assumed the title of ?Trade Federation Official?.

    Naboo had once been a peaceful, serene world, free of the Federation and its blasé corruption. After only two and a half years, the Federation?s smoldering touch had already ravaged much of Naboo?s surface. Lush, jade forests had been converted to fields of stumps and stubs, pristine lakes had become convoluted messes and rolling hills of beautiful green plains were conquered by smog-churning factories.

    Nothing was left of Otoh Gunga, and the native Gungan culture was in shambles. Many of the Gungans had fled Naboo altogether, seeking to build new lives on oceanic worlds such as Mon Calamari or Manaan.

    The Naboo, in comparison, were fortunate, yet they too had suffered terrible losses. The reclusive Nubian artisans and peaceful villagers were robbed of their idyllic lives when Federation battle droids forcefully relocated them from their secluded villas to the bustling cities.

    Naboo culture suffered. Monuments and buildings that, for many millennia, had stood as testaments to Naboo architecture were torn down to make room for machinated factories and commercial storehouses. Statues of ancient, virtuous kings and queens were replaced by images of Nute Gunray or other Federation executives.

    Siri let out a slight sigh of relief as she exited the crowded spaceport. The actual streets of Theed were much less crowded, and Siri liked it that way. Fewer people meant that she had more space to work, and less chance of being detected. As a sentinel and a tracker, it was her duty to ferret out and apprehend criminals without attracting any kind of public attention.

    This mission wasn?t very different from the norm. A terrorist was raiding and looting several of the industrial-commercial encampments on Naboo. The Council had charged Siri with the task of apprehending him. This terrorist was different. The Council believed him to be a powerful Force-adept, and most any Force-user outside of the Order was a top priority to the Council.

    She had departed from Coruscant immediately after receiving her orders. The journey to Naboo was rather lengthy, but it gave her ample time to study up on her target. The terrorist Siri sought was named the ?Keeper? by Naboo locals. Siri was intrigued by the title and was spurred to further study the origin of the name.

    She learned from a Naboo encyclopedia of culture that ?Keeper? was short for ?Keeper of Shadows?. The Keeper of Shadows was a mythical figure, a bladed warrior that wore a crimson-obsidian mask and stalked his victims at night. Using his unique set of blades and a potent ability to vanish into the darkness, the Keeper of Shadows sought vengeance for the oppressed and punished those who persecuted the poor. His tale obviously held very strong influence over Naboo culture, as the face paint worn by Nubian monarchs is very similar to the mask the Keeper wore.

    This terrorist who was named after the myth behaved no differently. The victims of his slaughters were always high ranking Trade Federation officials, the type of vermin that were inf
     
  14. Alixen

    Alixen Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Hmmm, the Keeper? intresting, im wondering he is Obi-Wan? or Maul?

    Then again, he's probobly neither. or Obi-Wan. Or Maul,

    Guess i'll just wait and see, nice post :)
     
  15. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Definitely an interesting tidbit there! And Siri shows! Yippee! Keeper of Shadows, eh? Ummm yep could be either or. Can't wait to find out which one! :D

     
  16. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Is it just me or is there a sudden rash of Obidalas on the board? eek!

    Gotta pop into a Obi/Siri story for sanctuary! ;)

    I see what you mean about changing the setting to Naboo. Makes perfect sense. I never really thought about what Naboo would be like if the Trade Federation had won their battles. Good job describing the planet and all its changes.

    As for the "Keeper", I'm still not sure who he is... :D
     
  17. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    I'm liking the Naboo setting as well. Funny thing, though. Now that Naboo is the place - and after reading the descriptions of what the Trade Federation has done to the planet - I'm less sympathetic to the Keeper's victims. ;)


     
  18. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Sounds like the Keeper's victims deserve it. o_O I can understand, though, the Council's concern with him using the Force. As well as the fact that the Keeper is a viligante, even if one careful to kill only the bad guys. Of course, viligantism generally occurs when the police force isn't doing its job, as my criminal justice teacher says. ;)

    I'm very excited for the next post. :D [face_dancing]
     
  19. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Hmmm...very curious about the identity of the Keeper. Nice job describing Naboo after the take-over by the Federation.

     
  20. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Alixen- Hmmm, the Keeper? intresting, im wondering he is Obi-Wan? or Maul?

    Yes.

    Kynstar- Definitely an interesting tidbit there!

    heh. more insights in the next part.

    Jedikma- Is it just me or is there a sudden rash of Obidalas on the board?

    0_0

    I know. I've never been a fan of Obidalas, and its strange that they've popped up... everywhere

    Reihla- I'm liking the Naboo setting as well.

    Well, i'm glad you two like it. I was nervous at first, because I wasn't sure if the Keeper and everything would fit on a world like Naboo, but apparently, it fits just fine.

    Now that Naboo is the place - and after reading the descriptions of what the Trade Federation has done to the planet - I'm less sympathetic to the Keeper's victims

    Good, thats just the effect I had hoped to achieve by changing the setting. :D

    Obaona- As well as the fact that the Keeper is a viligante, even if one careful to kill only the bad guys.

    ah, the moral ambiguity of it all. Is it still murder if you killed someone who deserved it?

    Gina- Nice job describing Naboo after the take-over by the Federation.

    Thanks!

    I'll have the next part up by tommorow.
     
  21. Senator_Leia73

    Senator_Leia73 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2003
    Yes I caught up! Hey Vivid this is really good. I was sucked in within the first sentence.

    The Keeper umm... I wonder who it could be...

    Post more really soon! :D
     
  22. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Senator_Leia73- Post more really soon!

    Really soon as in... now? :D

    Chapter I
    Part 2 of 2
    Huntress


    Later that Night


    Siri?s neck craned as her face absorbed a gentle night breeze. From a perch atop a factory spire, her sentinel senses blanketed the entire district, combing each alley and building thoroughly. The slightest tingle in her mind could alert her of any life form present. So far, she could only detect a number of guards on the ground level. One was stationed in a nearby watchtower, but he was on the verge of falling asleep.

    Movement!

    Three hundred meters due south, something was moving, and it was too fast to be a guard. Siri focused her senses. The force radiated from this life form with burning intensity, this must be her target. Siri unhooked her lightsaber.

    Her prey was near.

    The Jedi Sentinel hastily made her way down the spire. She leapt off and landed on a nearby rooftop. She took a few seconds to carefully mask her force signature. Stealth was her strongest ally; she couldn?t risk detection by the Keeper. Hoping she had averted detection, she rose up and charged across, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Her target was coming up; the Keeper was one hundred meters away and closing.

    Siri came to a sudden stop as she reached the edge of a rooftop. There were no more rooftops left to transition to, only a wide courtyard. Siri could see clear across the open garden, and a dark figure standing in the moonlight.

    The Keeper.

    Shrouded under the cover of a jet cloak and a dark hood, the obsidian mask covered his face. The face painted on the mask truly resembled that of a Nubian monarch. It was coated in jet black, a strong contrast to the monarch?s pale white, with facial features such as eyebrows, lips, nose and eyes well defined by the shape and colors of the mask. A crimson dot manifested upon each cheek, and the traditional scar of remembrance divided the lower lip.

    Siri paused to analyze the blade the Keeper carried in his hand. She had seen so many pictures of it, and it truly was unique. The weapon was circular in shape, with a diameter of approximately sixty centimeters. The outer circumference of the weapon was a razor sharp edge, with a small points spiking out at regular intervals. The Keeper carried the blade in his right hand as he quickly made his way across the wide courtyard. Siri made sure to note the other weapons he possessed- a pair of small daggers strapped to the waist and another to his boot.

    The Jedi Sentinel lay in wait. He came near. Without warning, Siri leapt over the edge of the roof with her violet saber lit and attacked the Keeper. Caught by surprise for a moment, the warrior of darkness leapt back several bounds and dodged Siri?s precise strikes. Siri?s unwavering execution kept the Keeper falling back.

    Siri made a thrust for his chest. The Keeper deflected the blow with his circular blade. It was obviously constructed with a cortosis weave, a metal so powerful that it would not falter to a lightsaber?s burning energy.

    Batted away by the Keeper?s decisive block, Siri recovered and moved to strike again, but was met with a strong kick to the face. She staggered back a bit, losing her balance in the process. The Jedi hastily rolled away as to avoid another attack from the Keeper.

    Siri hopped back up to her feet and found that the Keeper was already in a running retreat. She moved to give chase, but his cloak flared up as he turned about and unleashed a hail of knives. Siri dropped low to the ground and concentrated her Force powers to stop all five blades dead in the air. They drifted away before harmlessly falling into the grass.

    She quickly rose to her feet and saw the Keeper, about twenty meters away, running towards a dark alley. She ran after him, heart pounding with excitement. Drops of perspiration rolled down her forehead as she entered the shady alley.

    The Jedi came to a complete stop.

    He had vanished. The moonlight could barely illuminate the narrow alley, but from what she coul
     
  23. Kazzy

    Kazzy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 17, 2002
    Oh dear. Poor Siri, this is not the best thing that could happen to her at all.

    But I am liking this fic so far. I hope to read more soon. :)
     
  24. sdhfs

    sdhfs Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 22, 2004
    ha sith one for siri she couldn't even feel him laying her down
     
  25. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh that was intense! Well at least he gave her a chance to leave! :) How noble of him! Uh oh... hopefully someone will find her!

    Great work! Loved the Keeper's blade! And the fighting was well layed out.
     
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