Beyond - Legends All Things End -- Dear Diary Challenge / Talonverse OCs -- Completed

Snowy -- It's because for the time being she's living in the Iso Ward with Nash.




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14.03.xx ABY

Couldn't go out and run again today. I set Pashu some exercises and lurked by the window, but I never saw anyone. I can't see the whole garden from my window, though, so that means nothing. Not that I want to go scare someone--actually, I do, but not some poor innocent NR citizen who might be irreperably damanged by it--but I'm curious.



15.03.xx ABY

Pashu was called away for some emergency today. I heard the alarm, but stayed where I was. Pashu didn't lock me in, but she told me she needed me to stay here. There were probably Humans involved somehow. I know she's deliberately keeping me away from them. I haven't even smelled one, other than the colonel, since I was brought here. I know they didn't just fall out of the galaxy. They breed like kreepits, for one thing.

It's strange. I can think about Humans just fine. Ancestors laugh, I once told one he wasn't fit to lick the crud from the decking I walked on. The thought is just that, a thought, an image. I can still feel the outrage and indignation I felt then. But I couldn't meet Col. Crispin's gaze.

Maybe if they sent me on another mission, let me kill another Imp, I wouldn't be afraid of Humans any more.

When Pashu came back she looked roughed up, but pleased. She asked me if I'd mind teaching the submission hold to some of the other healers. If they won't let me out to do it for real, teaching others to do it might be the next best thing... provided they let me watch the security holo afterward.



16.03.xx ABY

Pashu's daughter Keila brought the cubs over again today, though they came to the garden, not the ward. This is probably because they had a Human child with them. Pashu must think I'm doing better, to risk a cub's safety like that, or maybe she thinks I won't be scared by a helpless little thing like him. Either way, I didn't have any trouble.

Ioriss snuck away the instant she thought no one was looking and started climbing one of the trees. I snuck up the other side and made myself comfortable on a limb above her. She seemed to enjoy the height this time, perhaps because she knew she could get back down again on her own. Keila came to scold Ioriss, but I waved at her and she left the child alone. Ioriss pretended to pounce on her playmates, dropping off one side of the limb, only to catch it and swing herself back up. If she does this a lot it's no wonder she has good muscle endurance. And most of her playmates never noticed she was mock dropping on them from four times their height.

After lunch I will teach her how to sneak. I think she will enjoy that.



16.03.xx ABY

Healer's notes:

I had Keila bring young Fars Tildon with her today. He's only three and doesn't talk much, preferring to watch. Nash didn't seem to have any adverse reaction to him. However, she ignored him entirely once she'd looked him over and taken his scent. She spent the whole time watching Ioriss Bur'rin, who seems to alternate between daydreams of being Keena, Barbarian Princess, and being an NR Secret Opperative. Her mother worries about her, but it's a perfectly normal phase. However, with Nash encouraging her it won't be one she'll grow out of soon, I'm afraid.

I'm not sure if I can call today progress, but I still have great hopes for my patient.

 

This needs to happen... oh hell yes.

Great update yet again, Lilith!

 

Her mother worries about her, but it's a perfectly normal phase. However, with Nash encouraging her it won't be one she'll grow out of soon, I'm afraid.

How true that is. Nash better get a move on, or the kid'll be out de-limbing imps before she is. Great update! Looking forward to more!

 

Hey, I'd call it progress! If Nash isn't allowed back in the military, she'd make a heck of a teacher!

 

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Work ganged up on me for a bit.



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17.03.xx ABY

This morning after our run, I lay in the tree for a while and thought. Pashu is trying to slowly get me used to being around Humans without cringing. I want that too. I want to be able to do my job, and I can't do that if I'm going to cringe and back down for any Human I come in direct contact with. Ancestors weep, I couldn't even interact with a Human kitling yesterday!

I wish I knew how to make this go faster. I'd suggest that she bring in a Human sparring partner for me, but that may not be the best idea. Maybe a non-Human sparring partner wearing a Human's shirt? Maybe sort of get used to the scent without the threat?

I want to shoot something.



18.03.xx ABY

Yesterday I talked Pashu into taking me to the target range today. It's not within the hospital environs, so she was hesitant. This, in hindsight, was wise of her. She escorted me herself, and stayed with me, even though she'd arranged for a portion of the range to be cleared of all other sentients before I arrived.

Everything was fine. I checked out a weapon, took one of the empty lanes and shot off two power packs at the stationary targets. Then I went on the target course. It was going as well as could be expected with no range time for two months. And then I woke up back in the Iso ward. There was polyfill and shredded plastic stuck in my claws.

Perhaps I should have stayed with the stationary targets.



18.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

I thought I had seen Nash at her worst when she tore up every pillow and cushion in Iso Ward 4.

I was wrong.

The anger and savagery of it was aimed at herself, so she took it out on safe things, things that couldn't be hurt. She was still in control and was doing everything deliberately. I know that now.

I knew her record. I was given access to her entire personnel file, including the classified portions. It was brought home to me today that the clinical statistics of afteraction reports do not adequately express the speed and strength of an enraged Trianii. Even the holo of her episode in Viroj's office was not this... fierce. I suppose it could be that subconsciously she knew there was no one on the target course she could actually injure, and that it was this knowledge that let loose any restraint she'd shown before.

The target course was set for urban, and she was progressing in what I assume was fine form, swift, but controlled, calm. She was obviously in her element. And then... I actually had to watch the course holo's playback to spot what triggered it. And now I know I should have put her off another day and checked the range and course over myself. One of the targets was an Imperial officer half hiding behind a female Bith.

I am told the taget can't even be refurbished, it will have to be totally recycled.

It's a good thing I'm paranoid on behalf of my patients. I had a tranq-gun on hand. I wouldn't have dared approach close enough to hit her with a hypo, not in the state she was in. I tried talking to her, to calm her down, but I'm not sure she even heard me. I dislike drugging my patients, but sometimes there is no other way.

The Bith target survived without a scratch.

I suppose that's something.



19.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

Nash is unhappy about her setback yesterday. I have told her that things like this are to be expected. I pointed out that she did not physically attack any of the other Human targets. This did not seem to comfort her in any fashion. Personally, I think that is a great sign. Nor was she so lost in her rage that she hurt a civilian, even if it was only a civilian manequin. She kept her shoulder firmly pointed at me and her head turned away. It was a very pointed 'I want to be angry, so stop comforting me' posture.

I let her be and got on with my morning jog and then my falling practice. She unbent enough to come correct my technique, but she spent the rest

 

Ah HAH! I knew you couldn't stay away from this for very long.

Maybe a non-Human sparring partner wearing a Human's shirt? Maybe sort of get used to the scent without the threat?

I love that line... it enables Nash's other senses as part of her keen hunter's instincts, and it's accepting her current mental state at the same time.

I am told the taget can't even be refurbished, it will have to be totally recycled.

I suspect that happens with a lot of Nash's targets, sentient or otherwise. Good to see she still has her combat edge...minus the control part.

Great update! Looking forward to more!

 

Hehehe. Cats are cats, even if they are bipedal cats.

I'm curious to see how things develop from here. There's progress, but is it enough? What will the next plan be? How will it go wrong? How will it be fixed? /anxious

 

I missed this diary so much in these last few weeks! Gah! Work hasn't been kind to me, either, Lilith. I hope things even out for you!

She didn't harm the Human and civ targets! And she annihilated the Imp one! Soooo... what's the problem, again? Ha! Superb update, as usual! This diary easily transports me back into Nash's world every single time... your writing makes it a wonderful experience. Thank you!

 

Yay! Peri isn't the only Talon still reading! Just teasing. I know life's busy for a lot of folks right now.



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20.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

This morning Nash joined me for our morning jog. When we were done and resting in the grass, I asked her again why she was so angry about destroying the Imperial officer target. It's what she's been trained to do, after all.

Her reply was that she'd lost control, and loss of control meant "the mission objectives were forgotten. This is something that must never happen during a mission. In this case the mission was to shoot him, saving his captive, and move on. Ripping his head and arms from his torso, then using what remained to beat at the modular 'walls' of the course was not within mission parameters."

I should hope not. It would leave a terrible mess behind, though as a terror tactic, I imagine it would be quite effective.

I can't believe I just wrote that!

At least I didn't say it to Nash.



21.03.xx ABY

I argued my way to another run through the target course. Pashu wanted to go through and remove anything that might upset me first, but I told her not to. How can I face it and overcome it if she protects me too well? Not that I have difficulty understanding her position. When I am placed in charge of someone else's wellbeing, I am zealous in my efforts. But she is supposed to be making me fit for duty, not for a dottage on some backwater where I tend the neighborhood children and garden in my yard.

I was prepared for them to have replaced the Imperial officer. I had steeled myself to take the shot, perhaps two, to take him out and move on. I was not prepared for what they replaced it with. Someone with a sense of humor replaced the mannequin I massacred with an out-of-commision protocol droid with a stuffed bantha where its head should have been.

I was laughing and missed both shots, so I punched the bantha off the top and kept on going through the course. There were other Imperial officers hiding behind females and cubs, but I dealt with them properly and moved on, as I should.

I am thoroughly pleased with my performance, even if the laughing cost me an extra seven seconds on my course time.



21.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

I was frankly surprised at how well Nash did on her second run through the course. I honestly did not think this was a good idea, so soon after the last time. But I am delighted that she proved me wrong. It keeps me humble and showed me that she has put her considerable discipline toward the problem and is working hard to recover.

Now it only remains to make sure she doesn't move too fast.



22.03.xx ABY

I mentioned to Pashu that I was scheduled to go on medical leave next week. She said, yes, but you're on medical leave already. Maybe they think that it's better to keep me in isolation this time instead of sending me to Trian, like usual.

Pashu is getting quite good at her falling, so today we started throws and take-downs. She is either being too gentle or she lacks the upper body strength yet to do them against an opponent my size. Either way, I set her extra arm and back exercises. It'll make her stronger or teach her not to go easy on me, so win-win.

 

Such a Nash thing to think! Heh! Great work! I like that Nash is progressing into this recovery... she's becoming more and more like the Nash we've all come to know and love again. Well, she's becoming the Nash that we've come to know and fear.

Thanks for the update! Two in one day was quite a treat for me!

 

Yay! Another Nash update, and it's a goodie too. I don't know that I can picture Nash laughing, though I'd be hard pressed not to laugh too.

Nice work!

 

Haha! Not so long a wait this time!

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23.03.xx ABY

Today Pashu told me that Col. Crispin has asked to meet with me again. I told her that she could set it up. I want to try again.

I will get over this.



24.03.xx ABY

The meeting with Col. Crispin went better than last time. He was anxious and nervous, but I know that was because he wants to help me. He asked me how I was doing. I said I was doing better. He stared at the table. I stared at his shoulder. It was easier than looking at his face.

He said he'd heard that I had 'done a real number on one of the target course dummies.'

I said, 'yes, my healer says they will have to replace it entirely.'

He stopped smelling so anxious and said, 'Apparently. No one has managed to do it again.'

I cocked an ear at him, my whiskers arching, and I realized I was still looking him in the eyes. He said, 'One of the Spec Ops guys came close yesterday afternoon, but no one's managed more than superficial, easily repairable damage with their bare hands.'

This sent my ears flat in surprise. I asked if they were trying to emulate me. Why would anyone wish to destroy training equipment like that? I lost control and savaged the thing so badly it could not be repaired and now others were trying to do the same thing on purpose?

Crispin nodded. 'Seems they were impressed, wanted to see if they could do it, too.'

I did not know what to say, but it gave me something to think about.



25.03.xx ABY

More throws this morning, after our run. After lunch I took Pashu to the range again, and had her blast off a few power packs. She is a terrible shot, unless she's aiming for shoulders or legs. I will chalk it up to her gentle nature as a healer, and her obvious practice with a tranq gun. I could not get her to shoot anywhere near the head. It means she won't ever be much use on the front lines, but she'll be a pro at taking prisoners.



25.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

Nash was so busy trying to get me to shoot properly at my stationary target that she never noticed when the Human arrived at the range and started shooting just four lanes down from us. The woman didn't walk past us, so her scent wasn't blatant, but I knew she was there. Nash was correcting my grip and stance, admonishing me to stop thinking of the target as a patient and think of it as someone trying to hurt one of my patients instead. I managed to shoot it once in the shoulder, once in the stomach, and once in the groin.

Nash was silent for a long moment as she stared at the results.

Finally she said, 'Ineffiscient, but it got the job done.' It made me feel strangely proud.

I think she is nearly ready to leave the Isoward.

 

Hell yes. Oh so cool!

And a successful meeting with Crispin! A victory, surely! Nash's progress and healing is wonderful to read. Great update!

 

Sorry it's been so damn long since I could reply! But I'm here now.

This post was very satisfying. We're seeing some real results on Nash's recovery; I really like when Crispin told Nash about her fellow squadmates trying to do what she did. She's starting to realize just now much of an asset she is, I think.

Very good stuff! I'll be more timely on the next post.

 

Hey, there's still people reading. Cool.


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26.03.xx ABY

This morning Pashu took me to the hospital cafeteria, instead of cooking, like she usually does. There were a lot of different beings in there. Including Humans. My tail started to twitch in an uncomfortable fashion, but I remained calm and waited my turn in line. It was hard not to duck my head and try to make myself smaller. I am already small for a Trianii, even if I'm still as large as most Human males, delicate almost. Looking smaller would not necessarily be hard for me.

At the paystand, Pashu waved her badge at the being taking credits, and we turned to look for a place to sit. A Human with his leg in a bacta cast hobbled out of the crowd at us. I managed not to cringe, though I did lean away and lift a corner of my lip at him, exposing a fang.

"You're Nashraak, right?" he asked. "I've been dying to ask. The way you took the head off the course dummy, I can't seem to get the quite the right leverage to duplicate that. How did you do it?"

I looked at Pashu. She looked back at me, a little smile on her face. It was not helpful at all.

I looked at the Human.

"Beg pardon," he said, and stuck out a hand at me. "I'm Major Stuse, Special Operations."

I looked at his hand, then at my tray.

"Oh, sorry."

He grabbed my tray with one hand, shook my hand with the other, and not letting go began to lead me to a table where several others in basic battle dress, with a variety of infirmities, were waiting. My tail was tight and twitching again.

I hope I'm not developing a tic.

Over breakfast we discussed hand-to-hand combat tactics. I was not as exhuberant I would have been before, but I didn't attack anyone or act overly submissive, so it must have been okay.



26.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

At lunch today one of the Spec Ops types Col. Crispin mentioned approached Nash for some pointers on how she'd dismantled the training dummy. It was the best thing I could have hoped for: Positive interaction with Humans, concerning something military related. She looked to me for a decision at first, which is to be expected to an certain extent, but I need to watch out that she doesn't become dependent on me.

It was not a long discussion, as most of the participants had physical therapy to attend, but that is just as well, since I did not want Nash overwhelmed.

All in all, it was a very good day.



27.03.xx ABY

Normally at this time of year I'd be getting on a ship for my trip to Trian. Pashu hasn't mentioned when she'd be leaving. I'm sure her husband would love a week-long visit. She's been with me a long time now. She is the healer, I'm sure she knows what she is doing.



28.03.xx ABY

Pashu asked me if I wanted to go to the range again today. I told her it probably wasn't a good idea. She gave me a strange look. Having another female around is not so bad yet, but a large group of mixed males and females, at this stage, really is not a good idea.

 

Oh no...that last comment seems to imply something ... very bad is going to happen. Perhaps it's mating season? Meep!

 

M...mating season? Good lord, I was just going for explosions and disembodied training dummies n stuff. Which would be cool. Not sure what I'd think about mating season. But it sounds like Nash is one more little step closer to being ready to take out Imps.

Great job, Lil! Glad to see folks're still posting during the busy times. Keep things comin!

 

*ding, ding, ding, ding, ding* The prize goes to Ping!


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28.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

Nash has become strangely quiet and edgy the last day or so. I thought at the time that her interaction with the Human Major at breakfast was a positive thing, but now I am not so sure.



29.03.xx ABY

I wonder if Pashu is trying to get me to kill someone. She tried to take me to the cafeteria this morning. The scent of her is making me irritable. I shoved my plate off the table at lunch today. I couldn't help it. I told her I should be on medical leave, and why was she still here?



29.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

Nash yelled at me during lunch today. Snarled really. This is the second time she's mentioned her scheduled medical leave, so I looked it up.

I feel so utterly foolish.

She should have been on Trian this week for her estrus cycle. I should have smelled it on her, but I've been so concentrated on her problem dealing with Humans that it never occurred to me. It's too late to send her now. In her current condition putting her on a crowded transport would be totally irresponsible of me. I could just leave and lock her in, but that would be less than kind to her.

I have to think.



30.03.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

I made a few calls last night. I'm leaving right after breakfast. I've had a week's worth of food brought in, and I'm making sure she gets one more solid meal before I leave. Trianii are apt to forget about little things like food at a time like this. Normally she'd be with her family or at a relief center where they would take care of things like that for her. I'll just have to remind the volunteers my assistant has rounded up to encourage her to eat, and then feed her back up when this is over with.

The volunteers have all been thoroughly briefed on the situation, so there should not be any further problems.

I hope.

 

Oh dear. And you thought us human women could be bad at that time of the month.

 

lol, Ping. I wasn't gonna say anything. Not even gonna think it, for fear of retribution when I least expect it.

Poor Nash, if it's not one thing, it's another. Poor Bothan still doesn't know what she got herself into. Fun post!

 

Okay, DRL has been temporarily defeated, so I've got another post for ye two, but faitful.

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03.04.xx ABY

I have sent the males away. I am exhausted, but all the furnishings survived.

I am hungry.



04.04.xx ABY

Healer's Notes:

One of the volunteers, a Cathar, needed to be treated for minor lacerations to his back and shoulders, but he was smiling the whole while, so I don't think he minded much. My husband appreciated being able to see me for more than a few hours here or a few hours there, so I think it was a good week for everyone.



05.04.xx ABY

Pashu moved back in today. She waited until after my morning run. I think this was intentional. Not to worry, I will get her back into the habit very quickly, I'm sure.

We went out into the garden for a picnic lunch. Pashu asked me about Trian. She likes to talk to me in the garden. I wonder if it is because she thinks it makes me more relaxed. I know what she was really trying to ask about. I told her that I usually went all the way to Trian, instead of finding a volunteer or two, or three, because my clan had been nearly wiped out. The Matriachs did not want to lose the bloodline, so those of us who were left had a duty.

She said, 'but you have never become pregnant?'

I told her the point of estrus was to ensure it, that I went home to Trian so they could extract any results at the end of my time.

She looked startled. 'You have children?'

I nodded. I'd have to send to Trian for the exact figures, but I think there are over a dozen cubs that have resulted from my trips home. I told her that the Matriarchs normally had a mate chosen for his bloodline waiting for me. This way I could do my duty to Trian, and still do my duty to the New Republic.

She smelled astonished.

I do not have the time or patience for cubs. Once in a while is okay, but all day long, month after month?

I'd wind up killing them.

 

Oh my.

Wow.

Just ... oh dear.

Kinda too bad that she doesn't think she'd like to have cubs of her own, though.

And if you're wondering, yes, that ticking is the sound of my own biological clock.