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Saga Alliance of Heroes - post-ANH AU (L/M, H/L, Vader, Palpy, Rogues) - COMPLETE - Part 2 cover up!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediMara77, Apr 13, 2011.

  1. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2010
    So now Vader knows he has a son [face_worried]

    On a side note [face_thinking], do you think it's possible that Anakin and Padmé didn't know they were having twins? I looks that way in the movie but it always seemed kind of strange to me.

    I wonder what Mara's up to?
     
  2. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009
    What are you doing to me???

    I've just returned from Figure Skating World Championships, completely and utterly happy for my favorite skaters and can manage only inadequate squeals - but I can't leave this brilliant chapter without comments!


    Luke is happy!! I can't believe, I'm reading about happy Luke, it's completely adorable...[:D]


    Blah, blah, blah...[face_sick] I never liked him.


    Very interesting insight here. I always wondered about Vader's relationships with Empire Fleet, not much of it was shown in profic...

    It's just the beginning...:(


    Wow. Just wow. Can't imagine what Vader felt that moment. Amazing episode, bravo, Nanci! =D=










     
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha WIP Month Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Excellent post. Now Vader knows, a crack in his own allegiance has formed & the germination of a new plan as to who will be left standing to run things. :D

     
  4. EmilieDarklighter

    EmilieDarklighter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2002
    They had to have not known they were having twins, or else Vader wouldn't have been so shocked to find out that Leia was Luke's twin in RotJ. I've thought about it before, and the only thing I can come up with is that Luke and Leia were both so strong in the Force that when Anakin sensed them before he turned, they seemed like one person - you know, kind of like how two really bright stars just look like one big one when they're really close together?

    Anyway. :p

    JM, your stories are among a select few in which I can hear every character's voice exactly as though I'm watching the movies. There are some stories that get it close, but really, your characterization, voicing, and pacing all feel very, very Star Wars, and I love, love, love reading them for that very reason. This is one of those things where I'd post more, but I'd end up posting the whole thing.

    I especially love how Vader comes to the conclusion that now is the time to overthrow the Emperor. It's a very twisted first ray of hope in a prisoner's long captivity. I love it.

    You write Vader with the full force of James Earl Jones and a John Williams soundtrack behind your dialogue. I just wanted you to know that. :p

     
  5. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    If I had my way I'd picture him (Luke) in the flight suit, all the time.
    If I had my way I'd picture him out of the flight suit, all the time.

    Loved seeing Luke get praise from his superiors! I also like that he spent a thought on his mother ? that?s far more plausible and in character than in canon ( where it?s like she?d never existed:( ).


    Luke rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. He hated doing stupid things in front of the Princess. ?I guess I was distracted.?

    ?I'll say. It?s a good thing I was here to protect Her Highnessness from getting run over, huh??

    Next to Han, Leia scowled. Not giving Luke an opportunity to answer, she leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek
    .
    Tee hee :p That good old love-triangle![face_dancing]


    To Luke?s amazement, the smuggler had stuck around for the past several months, helping out with the evacuation process and even going on several supply runs. Luke half-expected Han to take off for good any day now, but the Corellian kept surprising him, and Luke wondered if Han was sticking around just to keep an eye on him.
    It is pretty strange that he did it, actually. Liked your low-voced reasons here! =D=


    Ozzel survived this time, huh? ;) I bet he won?t as long as in canon! Great Imp scene![face_peace]

    ?See, Princess?? he said, turning around to look smugly at the woman sitting behind him, with her arms crossed over her chest. ?Nothing to it.?

    ?Yes, well. It?s a good thing Luke and the Rogues were there to bail you out.? Without another word, she rose from her chair and exited the cockpit.

    ?What the??? Han sputtered. After a moment, he hurled a stray datapad against the cockpit door. ?And you be quiet!? he added, trying futilely to quiet Chewbacca?s guffaws
    .
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]


    But that didn?t mean Luke had to like the decision. He hated it. But he?d come to learn that, in the military, such decisions were often necessary to preserve the lives and freedom of many others.

    After the final TIEs had been eliminated, Luke gave the command for the Rogues to jump to hyperspace. "You ready back there, Artoo?" His astromech droid blew an affirmative, almost encouraging, twitter.

    With one last glance at the jungle moon, Luke pushed the hyperspace lever in his cockpit and silently asked forgiveness from all those he?d left behind
    .
    So very Luke!!![face_love] [face_dancing] [:D]

    The Dodonna + Vader scene ? wow :eek: ? captivating! Both Dodonna?s courage (in vain, unfortunately) and the way Luke?s existence was revelaed to Vader!=D= =D= =D=

    When he returned to his flagship, Lord Vader informed his master that the Rebel base had been destroyed in an impressive demonstration of the Executor's power. But, most unfortunately, there had been no survivors from which to extract the name of the pilot who had destroyed the Death Star.
    And this is where the fun begins! :D

    Awesome update!!![:D] [:D] [:D]
     
  6. FelsGoddess

    FelsGoddess Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 5, 2004
    Just when had they started walking around together? And Han was flying Leia off Yavin? She could hardly stand the man. Luke couldn?t help but wonder what was going on.
    [face_mischief]

    Ooo, Vader's reaction to discovering it was Luke who destroyed the Death Star was great.

    =D=
     
  7. Katana_Sundancer

    Katana_Sundancer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2009
    I love love love this fic! Why have I not been following it?

    Fabulous voices - I forgot I was reading fan fic for a while there.

    LUKE AND WEDGE!!!!!!!!! :* That is all.

    Oh no, Dodonna... :(

    Excellent! PM, please Nanci? :D
     
  8. Lane_Winree

    Lane_Winree Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Chapter 3:

    He?d been in charge of Rogue Flight for three months now and was finally starting to feel like a true leader in the Alliance. His pilots were confident, listened to orders, and worked extremely well together?when Janson wasn?t on another prank rampage, that is. (Of course, such antics usually united the rest of the Rogues against him in extremely humorous retaliations, so Luke always turned a blind eye to such occasions.)

    Ah the sign of a good leader, knowing when to allow people to get away with things.

    Luke smiled, thinking of how his friend had opened up since the Death Star battle, and finally seemed to have gotten over his guilt about being forced to pull out of the trench run, and was now putting all his efforts into flying for the Rogues.

    I wish more people remembered that Wedge and Luke were probably the closest of friends in the early days of the Rebellion.

    ?I knew I could count on you. You know, you take after your father very much.?

    The young pilot?s head snapped up. ?You knew my father??

    ?Knew of him,? Dodonna clarified. ?Everyone who served in the Clone Wars knew of General Skywalker, of course.?


    Always had this penchant for blowing things up, ribbing his padawan, and getting under Kenobi's skin.

    In comparison, nobody seemed to have any information about the identity of his mother. It appeared that his parents had not been married, or they had kept their relationship a secret.

    Luke, you have NO idea.

    ?We?ll expect you at the evacuation briefing tomorrow morning at 0800. And feel free to bring your executive officer.?

    Luke grinned; Wedge was going to hate being dragged to an official briefing.


    Get used to it, Wedge :p

    Leia threw her arms around Luke. ?I?m so happy for you!?

    ?Well?? Luke trailed off, feeling his cheeks flush.


    You know, I am glad you're not shying away from stuff like this despite the fact that you, me, and EVERYONE ELSE reading this knows the squickyness of it all ^_^

    ?And you wonder why I ain?t signed up for your crazy Rebellion,? Han mumbled under his breath. Again Leia scowled at him.

    ?Come on, Captain,? she said through gritted teeth. ?And don?t forget, as my escort, you get to attend the briefing tomorrow, too.?


    Escort, eh? Well Han, like I said to Wedge, get used to it :p

    Luke turned around and watched their retreating forms, suddenly curious. Just when had they started walking around together? And Han was flying Leia off Yavin? She could hardly stand the man. Luke couldn?t help but wonder what was going on.

    YOU ARE SUCH A FARMBOY.

    Instead, he?d go inform his pilots that they were now required to refer to him as ?Commander? at all times.

    He couldn?t wait to hear Wedge?s reaction to that piece of news.


    I'd be more worried about the hazing you're about to get from Wes.

    Admiral Kendal Ozzel stepped onto the bridge of the Executor

    Minor character AHOY!

    ?Yes, Admiral. Should I inform Lord Vader that we?ll be arriving in system??

    ?No, Captain. Leave that to me.?


    Your funeral.

    But serving with Vader was the highest recognition one could receive in the Imperial Navy, and therefore Ozzel had accepted his new position greedily, hoping that it could one day grant him even more power in the Empire. Perhaps if something were to happen to Lord Vader?


    Don't get your hopes up :p

    Every officer on the Executor knew when Lord Darth Vader arrived on the bridge. His boots clacked ominously and his breath rasped menacingly, a warning to all his subordinates that mistakes would not be tolerated on Vader's watch.

    I'd be freaked out anytime those doors hissed open!

    ?Good,? Vader responded. He was so close to regaining the Emperor?s favor. Now, he just had one more task to accomplish. ?Inform General Veers that I will be accompanying his troops.?

    Ozzel?s head snapped up in confusion. ?My lord? Surely you won't be off the bridge during our assault??

    ?I have business to attend to on the moon. Surely you are capable of commanding an assault on your own, a
     
  9. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Nehe. I love the early Leia/Han/Luke love triangle stuff.

    I loved Vader's reaction to finding out he has a son.
     
  10. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Phoenix:

    Interesting twist upon how he finds his son. Cool.


    Thanks. :) In canon he finds out about Luke from a Rebel trooper...I wanted his knowledge of Luke to be sped up in this AU, and figured that Dodonna was the best person to find that out from.

    Ozzel, second guessing himself, Vader and even everyone else. Methinks also that Piett will soon be Admiral of the Fleet. Piett is like the most awesome Imperial in Star Wars.

    I also love Piett. He reminds me a lot of Gilad Pellaeon, just a guy doing his job. As for Ozzel...we will see. :)



    Luna:

    I loved, loved, loved the interaction between Han, Leia, Chewie, and Luke.

    Thank you! I love writing them at this stage of their lives. It brings me back to the good old days. :)



    Hazel:

    On a side note, do you think it's possible that Anakin and Padmé didn't know they were having twins? I looks that way in the movie but it always seemed kind of strange to me.

    Oh, they definitely didn't know. I think Anakin could sense the presence of a baby, but didn't even think to look for two babies. By the time Padme told him shew as pregnant, they were probably indistinguishable to him, like Emilie said. In the RotS novelization, Anakin and Padme are arguing over whether its going to be a boy or a girl.

    I wonder what Mara's up to?

    We'll find out in the next chapter.



    Piper:

    but I can't leave this brilliant chapter without comments!

    Aww, thanks. :)

    Luke is happy!! I can't believe, I'm reading about happy Luke, it's completely adorable...

    It's really fun to write young, farmboyish Luke.

    Blah, blah, blah... I never liked him.

    I don't think Vader does, either. ;)

    It's just the beginning...

    I know, poor Luke. :(

    Wow. Just wow. Can't imagine what Vader felt that moment.

    VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!! [face_mischief]



    Jade:

    The question is, of course, how does Palpatine deal with all of this... [face_thinking]



    Emilie:

    the only thing I can come up with is that Luke and Leia were both so strong in the Force that when Anakin sensed them before he turned, they seemed like one person - you know, kind of like how two really bright stars just look like one big one when they're really close together?

    This is such a perfect explanation! I also think that Anakin just had no idea what he should be looking for. It's not like Mara, who was in tune with checking up on her body, or Leia who was Force-sensitive and could feel the babies growing inside of her. Jedi didn't have children, so why would they ever teach Jedi who are not healers to scan bodies that way?

    JM, your stories are among a select few in which I can hear every character's voice exactly as though I'm watching the movies. There are some stories that get it close, but really, your characterization, voicing, and pacing all feel very, very Star Wars, and I love, love, love reading them for that very reason. This is one of those things where I'd post more, but I'd end up posting the whole thing.

    You are really going to give me a big head here. [face_blush]

    I especially love how Vader comes to the conclusion that now is the time to overthrow the Emperor. It's a very twisted first ray of hope in a prisoner's long captivity. I love it.

    It's true...but twenty years is a loooooong time. Can he break free?

    You write Vader with the full force of James Earl Jones and a John Williams soundtrack behind your dialogue. I just wanted you to know that.

    Again, you're making me blush. [face_blush] [:D]



    kataja:

    If I had my way I'd picture him out of the flight suit, all the time.

    [face_laugh] Well that, too! [face_love]

    Tee hee That good old love-triangle!

    Like Lane said, it's squicky, but it has to be there.

    It is pretty strange that he did it, actually. Liked your low-voced reasons here!

    IMO, Han has two reasons for sticking
     
  11. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004



    CHAPTER 4





    Mara Jade stood in the hallway outside the Throne Room, waiting for an audience with her master. But unlike the last time she had been summoned to this place, she was more than eager to report to to the Emperor and receive her new orders. For the past three months she?d been stuck inside the Palace like a caged animal, eager to resume her duties as the Emperor's Hand and escape the monotony of Palace life. She enjoyed her days of physical activity, training in her private practice hall, but her days of action had unfortunately been punctuated by dull, boring nights attending Court. The Emperor had required her presence every night, and depsite her displeasure, she obeyed his command as always. Before she had become the Emperor?s Hand, Mara had never objected to attending Court, and she had considered each appearance to be a necessary part of her training. But in the past three months, she hadn?t even been tasked with the opportunity to do something while attending Court, such as track a mark for the Emperor or even resume her old role as a dancer. Instead Mara had been forced to make idle chatter with members of the Royal Houses, pretending to be some vapid little girl and feeling like she was dressed up for some sort of masquerade. It took every last bit of her training to suppress the scowl that threatened to permanently overtake her face as a result of her ever-increasing frustrations.

    Finally, when she feared she would not be able to handle one more evening with some arrogant, self-indulgent Academy graduate trying to woo her with his most unimpressive claims of power, Mara had been summoned by her master. Still clad in the jumpsuit that she wore for weapons training, she ran all the way to the Throne Room, not even bothering to stop by her quarters.

    Mara remained stoic when Sate Pestage, one of the Emperor?s closest aides, exited the Throne Room. They nodded to each other politely and Pestage gestured for Mara to go inside. She remained in place, however, refusing to move until she heard her master?s call.

    Come.

    Giving Pestage another bow, she practically glided across the opulent Throne Room and fell gracefully to her knee before her master. She could feel Palpatine?s amused stare, as he sensed her anxiety and desire to get out of the Palace. Mara quickly clamped down on those emotions, forcing herself to remain calm and collected in front of her Emperor.

    ?Rise, my child,? he instructed. ?I sense that you are ready to serve me again.?

    Mara nodded, and spoke out, ?I am always serving you, master.?

    The Emperor openly smiled at that, and his approval washed over their bond. ?Yes you are, my child. Very good.? She immediately felt embarrassed for her negative attitude about attending Court. As the Emperor?s Hand, she should be able to accomplish any task without discomfort. Her feelings and emotions were irrelevant. Perhaps her stay at the Palace was the Emperor?s way of reminding her of that fact.

    Mara glanced up and met the Emperor?s gaze; he stared intently at her, as if sensing the thoughts swirling inside her head. She immediately cleared her mind and focused only on the man in front of her. A moment later he smiled again and reached out his hand. ?Come closer, Mara,? he ordered. ?I have a very special assignment for you.?

    Her breath caught in her throat as she followed her master's command. Very rarely did he use her real name, only when he was granting her an important task or commendation.

    ?I have been carefully considering your concerns about Alderaan. I have come to the conclusion that you are correct; defections are inevitable and they must be quashed before the Rebellion profits from our losses. Therefore, I will be sending you to take care of such treason.?

    ?Me, master?? Mara gasped, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. Vader had suggested that Palpatine would send her to take care of the traitors as a result of Alderaan, but she hadn?t taken him seriously. The Emperor
     
  12. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Loved the interactions between everyone and getting to meet the individual players in the Rebellion much closer. Also enjoyed seeing Vader and Mara butt heads, and also find out more about Mara's plans. Leia, Han, and Luke all together were also comfortably familiar :D. Awesome update--looking forward to more!
     
  13. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2010
    Oh, they definitely didn't know. I think Anakin could sense the presence of a baby, but didn't even think to look for two babies. By the time Padme told him shew as pregnant, they were probably indistinguishable to him, like Emilie said. In the RotS novelization, Anakin and Padme are arguing over whether its going to be a boy or a girl.

    I completely agree with you and Emilie as far as Anakin is concerned. What strikes as strange to me is that Padmé didn't know - did she not have one single doctor's appointment and SW equivalent to ultrasound during her entire pregnancy? :confused: She could have used an alias and gone to a different sector for it.


    * Moving on to what's important *

    For the past three months she?d been stuck inside the Palace like a caged animal, eager to resume her duties as the Emperor's Hand and escape the monotony of Palace life.

    Palpy keeping an eye on his favorite pet? :p


    The interaction between Palpatine and Mara was great. He really as her wrapped around his little finger. It does make me want to jump in and shake her awake, though.

    *

    And the scene with Vader was very well done. I wonder if you'll go into the reasons Vader is so disagreeable to her, you know a trip into his thoughts. :D

    *

    ?Of course, General Cracken. Please work on that and forward them to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, may I entertain any suggestions for the location of a new base??

    [face_praying] Not Hoth, not Hoth, not Hoth


    ?Anyway. Are you hungry? I haven?t eaten yet. I thought we could catch up over dinner.?


    Did Han just as Leia out to dinner? :p

    ?Just answer me one question, Princess. What?s Luke got that I don?t??

    ?What?" Leia sputtered. ?You?re jealous? Of Luke?!?


    You two will laugh sooo much over these little tidbits later on.

    *

    ?We?re taking bets on how many times Hobbie?s gonna have to get dipped in bacta before he turns twenty-five. I say fourteen.?


    Poor Hobbie! @};-

    ?Not really. But I am supposed to be a Jedi?and yet I let all those people die. Maybe I just don't have what it takes.?


    No, Luke. You're not a Jedi yet. Not with half-a-dozen lessons under your belt.


    Poor Luke! I wanna kiss him. :*
     
  14. Ocelotl_Nesto

    Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2004
    Well done... Your Mara thoughts are good. But will the Alderanian tie pilot treat her like a little sister or something else?
     
  15. jaded_jewel

    jaded_jewel Guest

    Hello!! I'm not new to the boards, but can be really awful about reviewing stories I've read.

    Where to start...THANK YOU!!!...for writing Luke as a fighter pilot. Most writers forget that he was not born a Jedi Master (plus there is more to him than just that) and he didn't even know of the force till his late teens!

    2nd...I think you have Mara as the Emporor's Hand down pat. She is loyal and I guess brain washed in a way yet she still has her own feelings that she pounds down and out.

    3rd and last, Great start!! All of the characters are amazing and in character and I can actually see the scenes in my head, which is my favorite thing about reading!

    Keep up the great work! :)
     
  16. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha WIP Month Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Great interactions and Mara's new assignment and her strategy :D :cool:

    H/L continues to be intensely entertaining ;) They're outdoing each other in the I don't care at all department LOL

     
  17. Katana_Sundancer

    Katana_Sundancer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2009
    Wonderful interactions there.

    Leia and Han... *happy sigh*

    Luke and Leia... Oh boy.

    Wes and Hobbie... IT HAS BEGUN!

    Mara... WOW. Perfect. It's so her, even though we're so used to her as the bitter, hardened woman - she was once a girl who had the worlds at her feet, faith in her mission and purpose and everything going for her. You've got a nice balance between her devotion to her master, and her ability to think for herself.

    Bravo, Nanci.
     
  18. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Bravo. I don't know where to start.

    I love evil teenage Mara. She is very intelligent and cunning. The HL stuff was just plain old cute like it always is and I love our farmboy trying to be a Jedi. He's just so cute.

    But my favorite part was poor woobie Hobbie getting picked on.
     
  19. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    I'm guessing that Mara will wear Tycho like a hat while getting into the Alliance on her own?

    Great Han/Leia and the scene with Alliance command was also very nicely written. I like seeing how the pieces of the story are being set up to foreshadow the action down the road. Vader's ambitions to seize the Empire with the help of his son is very much like him. I can't lie, I kind of hope he succeeds. [face_devil]

    Great writing!
     
  20. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009
    I've always wondered about these reasons...[face_whistling] I love their interaction.@};-





     
  21. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Sorry for being late. Darth RL struck viciously last week and only today can I start to pick up where I left.

    dull, boring nights attending Court.
    I really imagine Mara hate Court life too!

    Pestage gestured for Mara to go inside. She remained in place, however, refusing to move until she heard her master?s call.
    Nice touch! :D

    The Emperor openly smiled at that, and his approval washed over their bond. ?Yes you are, my child. Very good.? She immediately felt embarrassed for her negative attitude about attending Court. As the Emperor?s Hand, she should be able to accomplish any task without discomfort. Her feelings and emotions were irrelevant. Perhaps her stay at the Palace was the Emperor?s way of reminding her of that fact.
    Great gimpse of how Palpatine?s able to control Mara by her very virtues; self-criticism and dutifulness! =D= Sad to say, I can understand why she must have been an enjoyable experiment for his perverted mind! :(

    The Vader & Mara scene was perfect, Vader's physiocal touch adding a fab note to the end! I loved particularly: Vader disliked her for many reasons, but never because he questioned whether their master favored her over him. He was a Sith, after all; she was a mere assassin, no matter what special title she'd been given. I definitely buy that - and looking forward to maybe hear why he hates her! ;)

    Tycho? I like Mara?s plan! Like it very much! :D
    And nice borrowing from Allegiance [face_peace]

    It seemed like she was the only person bothered by living deep underground...except that wasn?t entirely accurate?Luke had been on edge since they?d moved into the baseAaah! That promises trouble! [face_batting] What might hide on those catacombs? *rubs hands expectantly*

    Han was being nice to her? Had the nine Corellian hells frozen over? Or was he just really intoxicated? She leaned forward slightly; his breath didn?t smell like alcohol, so she concluded that it had to be the former.
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    What, you got something better to do??

    ?As a matter of fact, I do. I need to speak to Luke about an upcoming assignment.?

    ?Oh. Luke. Right. Well, sure thing, Princess. Enjoy your meal with Luke
    .?
    Immediately jealous, huh, Solo? :p

    She was a leader in the Rebel Alliance and yet she was allowing this scoundrel to affect her like she was some vapid schoolgirl. It was utterly embarrassing and had to stop!
    Perfectly Leia! Feelings are not easy to handle!

    And the Luke &Leia scene was perfect too! You really capture why Luke would think he loves her and why Leia would think they're only friends. The paradox is so fun! [:D]

    Another amazing update! =D= [:D] And with me being so late replying - I won't have to wait so long for the next! :D
     
  22. YmaSolo

    YmaSolo Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    May 10, 2008
    A gal goes away for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur... well in this case they are definitely warranted.

    DRL had hold of me for several months and I find time to jump back on the boards and find this lovely lovely ANH/Pre ESB fic...

    May I just say that I love the characterizations. I find this period one of the best for fan fics. So much open space. The love *ut um* triangle between Han, Luke, and Leia, the war, the Empire... all of it so fascinating a space to play in.

    I really like how you've characterized the master / control aspects of Mara and the Emperor! Very well done! Definitely pulled the aspects of a controlling personality and emotional domination here.

    I really like the younger/pre-Jedi Luke and your characterization of him is really spot on. I can so hear his "voice" here from the movies.

    Love the creation of Rogue squadron! Nice!

    The motivations of Leia are very clear and very well written as well as those of Vader. The only thing I'm really hoping for is more character development on Han and Chewie.

    Although I swear I've read a version of the meeting between Mara and Vader very very similar somewhere else...profic maybe? Not that I mind a little borrowing from time to time.

    Definitely keep it up! Add me to your PM list PLEASE
     
  23. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Luna: Thanks! I do love writing Mara/Vader conflicts.


    Hazel:

    hat strikes as strange to me is that Padmé didn't know - did she not have one single doctor's appointment and SW equivalent to ultrasound during her entire pregnancy?

    The whole pregnancy is weird. I was always under the impression that she didn't get much prenatal care, or else why would Anakin be so concerned about her dying? Wouldn't she have mentioned that she got examined and everything was fine? But alas, that's why we have fanfiction. :)

    Palpy keeping an eye on his favorite pet?

    Oh yeah.

    The interaction between Palpatine and Mara was great. He really as her wrapped around his little finger. It does make me want to jump in and shake her awake, though.

    It's really uncomfortable writing that stuff, but it's so interesting to get into the dynamic of that sick and twisted relationship.

    And the scene with Vader was very well done. I wonder if you'll go into the reasons Vader is so disagreeable to her, you know a trip into his thoughts.

    All will be revealed in time. :)

    Not Hoth, not Hoth, not Hoth

    Sorry Hazel :p

    You two will laugh sooo much over these little tidbits later on.

    Heh, that they will!

    Poor Hobbie!

    He's the buttmonkey in all my universes :)

    Poor Luke! I wanna kiss him.

    Get in line! :mad:


    Ocelotl: Thank you! We'll see what's been going on with Tycho in the next chapter. Although I will say if you're aware of his character arc, you'll probably be able to predict where this is going. :)


    jaded:

    Where to start...THANK YOU!!!...for writing Luke as a fighter pilot. Most writers forget that he was not born a Jedi Master (plus there is more to him than just that) and he didn't even know of the force till his late teens!

    You're welcome! That annoys me as well. I love young, innocent, fighter pilot Luke.

    I think you have Mara as the Emporor's Hand down pat. She is loyal and I guess brain washed in a way yet she still has her own feelings that she pounds down and out.

    Thanks! I've really worked hard on getting her characterization right. I usually write her in Beyond the Saga, so writing her at this stage in her life is very difficult and quite the challenge.

    Thanks for reading! I hope you stick around. :)


    Jade eyes:

    Thank you. :)

    H/L continues to be intensely entertaining They're outdoing each other in the I don't care at all department LOL

    That they are. They are so fun to write. :D


    Katana:

    Thank you!

    Mara... WOW. Perfect. It's so her, even though we're so used to her as the bitter, hardened woman - she was once a girl who had the worlds at her feet, faith in her mission and purpose and everything going for her. You've got a nice balance between her devotion to her master, and her ability to think for herself.

    Again, I'm really glad that her characterization is coming off well. It's hard for me to show her utter devotion to Palpatine and also show that she's still the sassy, no-nonsense woman we know from after the saga.


    Briannakin:

    I love evil teenage Mara. She is very intelligent and cunning.

    Thanks! Although I wouldn't call her evil, just very brainwashed. She's got the wool pulled over her eyes...perhaps that will change soon.


    Vivid:

    I'm guessing that Mara will wear Tycho like a hat while getting into the Alliance on her own?

    We'll find out soon. :)

    Vader's ambitions to seize the Empire with the help of his son is very much like him. I can't lie, I kind of hope he succeeds.

    Haha! You can't help but root against the evil evil Palpatine, huh? Just remember, this is only Part 1. :D


    Piper:

    I've always wondered about these reasons... I love their interaction.

    Thank you! We'll find out eventually, but I can't say when. :)


    kataja:

    Sorry for being late. Darth RL struck viciously last week and only today can I start to pick up where I left.

    DRL sucks! :p Want Mar
     
  24. FelsGoddess

    FelsGoddess Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 5, 2004
    Vader stepped forward until he was mere centimeters from the girl and stared down at her imposingly. Even as he placed a gloved finger on her cheek, her controlled facade still did not crack?

    Until Vader leaned down to whisper, ?In that case, you should take care that you are the one who is successful, Emperor's Hand. I have no desire to clean up your mess.? Her eyes widened as he caressed her cheek ever so slightly?

    And then he swept out of the room, leaving her to stand alone.

    Oh that'd be creepy.

    ?I don?t got a problem, sweetheart. What?s yours??
    Oh you do so have a problem, Captain Solo. She's 5-feet tall...brown hair... [face_mischief]

    Great update!
     
  25. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Fels:

    Oh that'd be creepy.

    Creepy Vader? Oyah. [face_mischief]

    Oh you do so have a problem, Captain Solo. She's 5-feet tall...brown hair...

    [face_laugh]


    [u]CHAPTER 5[/u]





    ?Did you see Jade today??

    ?No, is she here??

    ?Right over there?sitting by herself in the corner. Looking fine as usual.?

    ?Oh?yeah. Mmm, she looks [i]hot[/i] in that flight suit.?

    ?You haven?t seen her in her officer?s uniform. Her skirt is nice and short?I?d kill to get my hands on her??

    ?[i]Hands?[/i] That?s not what [i]I[/i] want to get on her.?

    Unable to take anymore, Mara pushed back from the table in disgust. The group of officers thought they?d be safe talking about her from halfway across the room, but they didn?t realize that she was able to augment her hearing through the Force. Not that they would care if she heard them, anyway. She grabbed her tray and headed for the waste receptacle, taking a path that led directly behind the group she?d been eavesdropping on. As she walked past them she moved closer and wiggled her hips, enticing them to reach out and grab her?

    One of them was stupid enough to try. As he leaned towards her, Mara used the Force to lift up the corner of his chair ever so slightly. Caught unawares, the sorry excuse for an Imperial lost his balance and fell flat on his face.

    Mara feigned surprise, then turned around and backpedaled a few steps. ?You should be more careful,? she said sweetly, raising her voice over the roaring laughter.

    She left the mess and leaned against the wall, breathing slowly and trying to force the anger inside her to dissipate before heading off to her TIE. She had been onboard the [i]Accuser[/i] for three months, and it seemed that every day she learned something new about the Empire.

    Things she had never wanted to learn.

    The sexist comments had begun an soon as she stepped foot on the Destroyer. She?d expected them, as women were still very rare in the Imperial military, but she also expected them to die down once she proved herself as a pilot. After all, the Empire that she knew had no problem recognizing women who excelled at their jobs. Iceheart was proof of that, as was her own title of Emperor's Hand.

    It appeared that the men on this ship never received that memo.

    It took a month before she realized that the comments were never going to stop. This was what being a woman in the Empire was like. She vowed to bring this to the Emperor?s attention as soon as she finished her mission and returned to the Palace. He would be most unhappy that some of the Empire?s best assets were being treated so poorly.

    It took two months for her to realize that the Empire she knew so well was nothing like the Empire that existed in the rest of the galaxy. As the Emperor?s Hand, she commanded respect and resources just by quoting a simple recognition code. The rest of the Empire was not nearly as efficient. Perhaps things were different on Vader?s flagship, but on a standard fleet Destroyer such as the [i]Accuser[/i], bureaucracy reigned supreme. It was frustrating and needed to be changed. The Emperor would definitely learn of the military?s inefficiencies once Mara returned to Imperial Center.

    It took three months for Mara to wonder if she really, truly belonged in this Empire, a thought that staggered her to the core. The reason for her questioning came from a source she would have never expected: Tycho Celchu.

    It appeared that she had made the worst possible choice when deciding who to befriend and later betray. Tycho was loyal, honorable, an extremely competent pilot, well liked among his peers, and well respected by his superiors. He was the ideal Imperial officer, exactly the kind of man that the Empire needed.

    And he was going to join the Rebels.

    What did that say about the Empire, that someone like Tycho had lost faith? If someone like him could want to defect?couldn?t anyone?

    His viewpoint wasn?t difficult for Mara to understand, and that was what d>