Before the Saga Always Open (A High Republic Era Oneshot Starring Vernestra Rwoh and Stellan Gios)

Title: Always Open

Author: devilinthedetails

Characters: Vernestra Rwoh; Stellan Gios

Genre: General; Friendship; Fluff; Mush

Timeline: Before the Saga. High Republic Era.

Summary: Vernestra Rwoh struggles to accept her new status as a Jedi Knight.

Author's Note: Vernestra Rwoh and Master Stellan Gios are both characters from the High Republic era. I am fascinated by the High Republic era and the new characters associated with it, so I decided to start delving into that era and exploring its characters through fanfic. This story in particular was inspired by @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha's "An Open Door" prompt for the Springtime Meadow Event that I'm really enjoying

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Always Open

Vernestra strode through the Temple gardens at Coruscant, where she had returned from the outpost on Hynestia with her Master--no, former Master--Stellan Gios to undergo her trials and be Knighted. She stepped onto a gently arching bridge and reflected on how bittersweet it felt to be a Jedi Knight now.

In her life, she felt as if she had crossed a big bridge she hadn’t even realized she’d crossed until she’d done so and began to wonder if she should’ve stopped to savor her journey more. To drink in the views. To appreciate where she was going and where she had been. To understand how where she stood connected her past to her dreams of the future. Instead of forging steadily ahead, focusing only on her goal and destination.

In the middle of the bridge now, Vernestra paused, leaned against the railing, and watched the scalefish purple as her lightsaber swim and shimmer in the water below her.

It was, of course, a major achievement and milestone in her young life to become a Jedi Knight. She should have been brimming with pride or at least satisfaction. Instead she felt wistful for her childhood innocence and sad to be separated from her Master’s gentle guidance. As if she had lost something she hadn’t truly valued or understood until it was taken from her. Because she was only fifteen, and fifteen-year-olds didn’t understand very much no matter how hard they tried to understand everything. Mostly they lived in a state of constant confusion and uncertainty optimistically referred to as adolescence.

That was self-pity, and Jedi Knights did not indulge in self-pity like petulant younglings in the creche pouting over some trifle, Vernestra scolded herself. She shook her head sharply to end the pity party she was hosting for herself and was surprised again to feel how different, how light, her swinging hair felt without her Padawan braid. Her Padawan braid that had been shorn and tucked into a scrapbook for safekeeping.

“Vernestra.” Stellan, the man who would always be her Master at least in her mind and heart where such things mattered the most, came up behind her and placed a soft hand on her shoulder. She didn’t have to ask how he had found her because he must have located her through the Force, which meant she was likely broadcasting her turmoil to him like a blazing red disaster beacon. How embarrassing. Or it would have been if it wasn’t Stellan who was sensing her emotions, because he never shamed her for her feelings. He just coaxed and guided her through them. “It’s a joy to see you Knighted, and I know you’ll be just as good a Knight as you were a Padawan. You’ll be a credit to our Order as you always have been. I’m very proud of you and all you have become.”

“I’m going to miss you.” Vernestra trailed fingers along the curving bridge railing. “I still feel as if I’d benefit from your wisdom and support.”

“Nothing could warm your old Master’s heart than hearing that.” Stellan grinned at her as he had a thousand times before, and Vernestra felt her trembling lips twisting into an instinctual, answering smile. “I still want to be part of your life now that you are a Knight. I still will treasure the chance to watch you grow as a Jedi and encourage that growth however I can. It’s just that you’ve outgrown your role as Padawan, and it would only stifle your growth if I kept you in that position instead of allowing you to blossom as a Jedi Knight.”

“I understand.” Vernestra nodded. She understood at least that Stellan had more confidence in her than she did in herself, which was often the case.

“My door’s always open, Vernestra. Unless…” A sentence dangling. An implication. An unfinished inside joke they had shared a hundred times throughout her apprenticeship. A joke that wouldn’t have been funny except for the history behind it. A joke that would amuse nobody but themselves. A joke that was like a secret between them.

“Unless it’s closed.” Vernestra took up the yarn of the joke and tied it together so it felt complete and whole. The way she did when Stellan was by her side. “Then I’ll knock.”

“Very good.” Stellan gave a very sage, serious nod that made Vernestra giggle for the first time since she’d been Knighted, and somehow she knew her giggle had been exactly what her former Master had wanted to hear from her. “I’m glad to know my Padawan learned my most important lesson.”

Vernestra wanted to thank him then for always having faith in her because it made it easier for her to have faith in herself only it seemed like saying so would ruin the moment of levity so she kept the thought to herself and promised she would say it some other time. For now, she would laugh and joke and let her worries float away like water under a bridge in the Temple gardens.

 

@WarmNyota_SweetAyesha As always, thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments! I'm so glad that you found this fic to contain a marvelous blend of emotions since that was exactly what I was hoping to achieve. I can totally understand Vernestra's wistfulness and feeling of "I should've appreciated it more when I had it" because that is sometimes how I look at the past when I pass a certain milestone. It is like life can sometimes go by so fast it is hard to stop and take it all in and savor it. That being said, I think you're totally right that Vernestra did value Master Stellan's guidance and now she is beginning to realize the new level of responsibility and accountability that will rest on her shoulders as a Jedi Knight. Becoming a Jedi Knight is a big step so I understand why part of her is worrying that she's not ready for it, but it was great to have Master Stellan steady her and assure her that he'll always be there for her with that right mix of teasing and praise to build up her confidence again. That's the kind of stuff that can warm my heart.

@AzureAngel2 Thank you so much for commenting! You quoted a line that really made me smile as I wrote it. I'm so happy that Master Stellan's kindness and clarity could shine through in his words since that is exactly what I was hoping would happen. And you're right, Jedi Masters who speak with that sort of kindness and clarity are indeed the best!

@earlybird-obi-wan Thank you so much for commenting! Master Stellan is indeed a very nice Master guiding his Padawan on a path to her own Mastery which is a joy to write!

 

@brodiew Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I agree that one of the things that has made the High Republic era so awesome to me has been how much exploration of emotion there has been in terms of grief and attachment to a mentor or a partner.

One of the things that really intrigued me about Vernestra was how young she was when she was knighted. I could definitely imagine her having sort of mixed, melancholy feelings early on in her knighthood. Not only would she be sad about the loss of that special relationship with her Master, but I could definitely picture her having those fears of things moving too fast and her not being ready to be a knight. As you say, Force aptitude is one thing, but experience is another, and Vernestra still needs to gain experience and still has some growing to do like any teenager.

My head canon is definitely that Master Gios will still be available for Vernestra to call upon when she needs his advice. And maybe I will even write about her seeking out his advice if my muse cooperates!