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Beyond - Legends An Alliance at Alida's (L/M) ~ Part the 15th -A Pledge and a Promise (update 3-9)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by divapilot, Aug 14, 2006.

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  1. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    ?--She might find it really, really annoying,? Han mumbled. Luke glared at his friend.

    Loved Han's insightful comment and Luke's reaction!

    ?So now you?ll choose what?s best for her?? Bruno asked.
    ?Yes! I mean, no!? Luke sputtered.


    Oh boy[face_shame_on_you] You need to try and see things from Mara's point of view, Luke.

    I'm a big fan of Joseph Campbell's "follow your bliss." All anyone can really do is seek fulfillment in life, contentment and true happiness. Usually this happens when one is using one's talents to the best of one's ability, sure, but the path must be chosen by oneself. Life's circumstances force so many things on us. So, I think when someone is given an opportunity to make a choice, friends can advise, but that person needs to make her mind up for herself. If I'm not completely happy with my friend's decision that's my own problem. Although, it takes a lot of patience and strength to resist the temptation to nag and "fix"...
     
  2. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    ?Have you considered that there may be deleterious outcomes to such actions?? Bruno said.

    "No, because I don't know what deleterious means." :p

    Bruno sure shook Luke up, didn't he? I think it was very advantageous to L&M's future that this debate took place before the date. Bruno's a grand master, indeed. And I loved how Luke thought about the 'grand master' title for future reference. :D Oh, and Han was great in this, too. =D=
     
  3. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    HeeHee! Note to Luke: Beware bartenders with psychology degrees.

    That was so much fun, sister pilot! I love that you brought Han in on this update. As usual the 'd' words were so natural, I didn't even realize you had a word list.


    Favorite line:

    ?Grand master,? Luke repeated quietly. ?I like that concept.? He mentally filed the information away for another time. [face_laugh]


    Bravo! =D=
     
  4. jackyyy17

    jackyyy17 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Uh-oh, Luke is wanting to change Mara. [face_shame_on_you]


    Hopefully He will listen to what Bruno had to say.



    Good update. Can't wait for the next one.
     
  5. Jedi_Kassandra

    Jedi_Kassandra Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2006
    Wow, its tough to have to use a list of words. They look like my English vocabulary tests!
    You're doing an amazing job, I can't wait for the next post!

    ~kass
     
  6. TnTornado

    TnTornado Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2006
    Of all the great lines in this update, this ones my favorite!

    Its an all time great Han line!!!

    Awesome update Diva,

    TnTornado
     
  7. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Ah, the plot thickens. [face_mischief] This is turning out to be quite a ride, diva! :D


    ?So, Kid, who?s the lucky lady??

    ?Mara Jade,? Luke said simply.

    Han whistled. ?Aim high. That?s what I like about you, Luke.?


    [face_laugh] Perfect Han line, there!



    There might be prior conditioning, societal constraints might discourage it--?

    ?--She might find it really, really annoying,? Han mumbled. Luke glared at his friend.


    Again, Han is too funny here. [face_laugh] I love it!! =D=


    Looking forward to more enticing and enthralling entertainment. ;)



     
  8. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Jade_Eyes: I'm still amazed how you can use all the words & it seems so natural!

    Thanks![:D]

    But Luke also has a point: even though there are many roads to learning certain things, if you don't have some formal guidance, not in technique, necessarily, but in philosophy, you could make all kinds of wrong conclusions and choices. Not to say that Mara doesn't have scruples, or that persons with formal training can turn Sithly ... but a Jedi needs to maximize the help they give and minimize the harm they do, and be able to know when & how to use their gifts.

    Good points, Jade_Eyes. And I have to say I did work hard on that exchange to keep it from sounding that there are no ethical absolutes. What I was trying to get across was that Luke has to understand where she?s been. Even though they?ve come from very different backgrounds, they have more in common in their philosophies. [face_thinking]

    Perhaps, now, Luke won't try to be so forcefully persuasive (even in a verbal way). Mara's certainly not the type to like to be coerced or told what's best for her.

    That?s what I was hoping you?d see. He needs to back off a bit or else he?ll come off looking like a know-it-all. :p

    The upcoming dinner's REALLY going to be fascinating to watch unfold, like it wasn't already?

    I hope so! Thanks for this thoughtful reply!:)



    RedGold: I'm with Han.. that WAS fun!

    Thanks! I could see Luke getting all worked up with his earnestness and Han just laughing his head off.:D


    Ginchy: I loved Han, but Bruno just took the cake. Luke's always got to have someone knock a bit of sense into him, doesn't he? The Grand Master bit had me cracking up!

    Thanks! Glad you liked it. And the idea had so come from somewhere?o_O


    Tasujad: jep i concour, Bruno is GOOD

    Thanks! Glad you liked it.:)


    Blue_Milkshake: Oh boy You need to try and see things from Mara's point of view, Luke.

    That?s the truth![face_laugh]

    So, I think when someone is given an opportunity to make a choice, friends can advise, but that person needs to make her mind up for herself. If I'm not completely happy with my friend's decision that's my own problem. Although, it takes a lot of patience and strength to resist the temptation to nag and "fix"...

    Luke has to understand that, too. Just because she?s different doesn?t mean she?s broken. Thanks for the reply![face_dancing]


    Jedi-2B: ?Have you considered that there may be deleterious outcomes to such actions?? Bruno said.
    "No, because I don't know what deleterious means."


    LOL! As you probably know, ?deleterious? means having an unexpectedly negative outcome.:-B

    Bruno sure shook Luke up, didn't he? I think it was very advantageous to L&M's future that this debate took place before the date. Bruno's a grand master, indeed.

    Thanks! I think Bruno got Luke to see the issue from another side.:)


    Jade_Pilot: HeeHee! Note to Luke: Beware bartenders with psychology degrees.

    Yep, Bruno got him. It wasn?t like Luke hadn?t been warned: as Dr. Phil likes to say, you knew it was a rattlesnake when you picked it up. Don?t argue behavior modification with a psychotherapist.8-}

    That was so much fun, sister pilot! I love that you brought Han in on this update. As usual the 'd' words were so natural, I didn't even realize you had a word list.

    Thanks! What a nice compliment![:D]


    Jackyyy17: Uh-oh, Luke is wanting to change Mara. Hopefully He will listen to what Bruno had to say.

    Thanks! Glad you liked it. Luke still has a little way to go (which is good, since there?s still a lot of alphabet).[face_batting]


    Jedi_Kassandra: Wow, its tough to have to use a list of words. They look like my English vocabulary tests! You're doing an amazing job, I can't wait for the next
     
  9. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    I absolutely adore your Han :D He's perfect. And sage advice from Bruno - let's hope Luke is wise enough to take it on board.

    Great chapter!
     
  10. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    JadeLotus Thank you so much! Glad you like the characterizations. Han is a fun character. And Bruno is a very observant fellow. Hope you enjoy the next part!



    Thank you, Jedi Trace, for the wonderful beta. [face_rose]





    [b]Part 5: An Enigmatic Endearment [/b]


    Mara idly toyed with the trim of her sleeve as she waited for Luke to arrive at Alida?s. At every opening of the door she glanced up, knowing that it wasn?t him but looking anyway.

    She sighed. Biting her lower lip, she turned away from the door and refocused on the nearly empty glass of flavored water in front of her.

    ?Can I help with anything, Mara?? a friendly voice asked, rousing her from her thoughts.

    Mara?s eyes met Bruno?s as he tilted his head inquiringly. ?Can I at least get you another water?? he asked.

    ?Sure.? She returned to her silent musings.

    Bruno returned with the chilled bottle and opened it, dropping a fruit slice in the fluted glass and pouring the water for her. He placed the remainder of the bottle on the bar top. ?Aren?t you a little early tonight??

    She pursed her lips. ?A little. I need some time to think.? Bruno nodded knowingly. ?I?ll be here if you need anything.? He retreated, leaving her to sort through her thoughts.

    She tapped a newly manicured nail against the stem of the glass. Mara didn?t waste time on frivolity, so the salon trip had been a rare indulgence. Whatever possessed her to consider this evening so important that she should get her nails done?

    [i]What am I doing here?[/i] she thought. [i]What was I thinking, telling Skywalker I?d meet him again?[/i]

    This situation defied logic: Luke Skywalker, Jedi, romantically involved with Mara Jade, former assassin and agent of the Empire?

    The sludge news would have a field day. They already seemed to delight in creating enmity with her through the numerous critical commentaries and scathing editorials. Every negative epistolary tirade from a ?concerned citizen? seemed to find its way into the Correspondence to the Editors sections. All of them condemned her for her former life, quick with exhortations that there would be dire consequences if the Solos and Skywalker continued their friendships with her.

    She shook her head ruefully. Once, she had convinced herself that her former profession was integral to government security. Mara rubbed her hand across her forehead. In her mind, she heard the echo of every eulogy spoken for her victims and saw each faint epitaph. It had taken her years to come to terms with what she had done in the name of service to the Empire. But she had overcome those tragic mistakes and made a new, meaningful life for herself.

    There were those who would never exculpate her for her crimes, or give her a chance to expurgate her past. But she was used to it: she had had years to adapt to isolation. She was fine by herself. She didn?t need any man to come along and stir things up.

    On nights like these, Mara felt melancholy begin to encroach like deep, dark floodwaters. She straightened and took a deep breath. She would not allow these thoughts to enervate her. She would stay in control of her emotions.

    That meant controlling this present matter. By staying, she?d be encouraging Skywalker to pursue this foolish romance. [i]He?d better get out now before he falls in too deep,[/i] she mused, [i]before he starts to think of me the way I catch myself thinking of him.[/i]

    Mara glanced at the wall chrono. There was still time to back out tonight. Bruno could be her emissary, telling Luke that she had fallen ill or was detained. [i]Why stop there? Get creative with the lies, girl,[/i] she fumed suddenly. An eclectic list of egregious falsehoods came immediately to mind. Someone tried to embezzle Talon?s accounts receivable. Lando just dropped in with a huge shipment for processing. Ghent got lost again.

    She snorted softly. Bad idea. Lying would only exacerbate things. Luke would get worried and go out of his way to find her. Once he did, he would be so excruciatingly earnest and overpr>
     
  11. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host Who Loves Fanfics & RPGs star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Love Bruno's wisdom & non-pushiness. :D He's right though, her not knowing would really bug her.
    Like that Mara was willing to take the risk and her realization that giving up control and the possibility of success in the relationship was what was making her anxious and antsy. :D
    So... Luke's smile and presence banished her uncertainty. :) That's a great way to start. :)

    So enjoyed this.
    [:D] , jade_eyes
     
  12. TnTornado

    TnTornado Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2006
    you did a good job showing Maras nervousness, which i think shows alot of how she approached her relationship with Luke. She had become "jaded" to relationships and decided she didn't want one - great job showing this.

    TnTornado
     
  13. RedGold

    RedGold Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Mara was perfect here!!

    Can't wait for more.
     
  14. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    This is such a great chapter! Mara?s musings are perfect. :D

    She shook her head ruefully. Once, she had convinced herself that her former profession was integral to government security. Mara rubbed her hand across her forehead. In her mind, she heard the echo of every eulogy spoken for her victims and saw each faint epitaph. It had taken her years to come to terms with what she had done in the name of service to the Empire.

    I really like the reference to the eulogies and epitaphs of her victims. That?s probably something that she would keep tucked away in her heart and I like how you mention that she has come to terms with it.


    What really scared her, she realized, was not the thought of the failure of the relationship. What terrified her was the possibility it might actually work out.

    I can totally see Mara thinking that.


    ?Tell me,? she deadpanned, ?are you sure you aren?t a Jedi? I thought that annoyingly insightful empathy was endemic to them alone.?

    LOL! That?s great!


    He radiated light and strength, his Force signature like an extroverted presence in the room that overpowered all the tentative tracings from the other patrons. He stood confidently as he casually scanned the room.

    [face_love][face_love][face_love]


    I?d love to be a patron in that bar just to sit back and watch all this play out. [face_mischief]




     
  15. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Nice job of going over Mara's emotions.

    Are you planning on doing the entire alphabet? I feel that my vocabulary is improving with each part. :-B
     
  16. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Ooooh, love the chapter, gal! :D I'm love to see Mara's thought process... she knows that something big is happening, but that's scary because it will change so much about her comfortable (if lonely, I bet) life. That Bruno's a keeper, eh? ;)

    Great, great update! Love it! =D=
     
  17. Jedi_Kassandra

    Jedi_Kassandra Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2006
    Awww, I love it!!

    ~kass
     
  18. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Forget what a great job (fantastic job even) you're doing by using all these words--I just LOVE this story! Each post gets better and better.

    "Mara took a deep breath.

    She smiled and nodded. ?I?m ready,? she replied, reaching for his hand and taking it."


    :) I love how you ended this part on such a hopeful note. I truly warmed my heart, sister pilot!


    Bravo! =D=


     
  19. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade VIP star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2002
    I do believe this is another story that I've been forgetting to leave feedback on. [face_blush] I really, really like it, though. :D That help make up for my neglect? [face_batting] :p

    She tapped a newly manicured nail against the stem of the glass. Mara didn?t waste time on frivolity, so the salon trip had been a rare indulgence. Whatever possessed her to consider this evening so important that she should get her nails done?

    Now that's a great snapshot of a character. :D As I finished the first sentence, I was thinking, "Whoa, Mara got her nails done for this? :eek: " Wonderful attention to detail. :D

    Why stop there? Get creative with the lies, girl, she fumed suddenly.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    What really scared her, she realized, was not the thought of the failure of the relationship. What terrified her was the possibility it might actually work out.

    Sounds just about right for Mara, the poor girl. Emotional intimacy isn't something she's ever really had in her life. Of course it scares her.

    The door opened. Luke stepped inside and took a moment to adjust to the darkness of the bar. In that moment, Mara considered him.

    He radiated light and strength, his Force signature like an extroverted presence in the room that overpowered all the tentative tracings from the other patrons. He stood confidently as he casually scanned the room.

    Looking for me, she realized. Her breath quickened as an ephemeral dizziness swept over her.


    That's such a touching moment, that a simple thing like that means so much to Mara. [face_love]

    Beautifully done. :D Can't wait to see what you do with the next letter. :p
     
  20. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    You may have to put me on the PM list, so I don't miss this anymore.

    Great chapter. Mara's nervousness was so much in character for her. It's a good thing Bruno was there to steer her in the right direction.

    On with the date!
     
  21. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Great chapter! Loved Mara's introspection - it really seems that she's sabotaging herself because of her fear of getting close to someone. Wonderful advice from Bruno - I think that advice needed to come from someone she didn't already know well, but from an impartial observer so to speak. Coming from someone like him made Mara really think about it and take in on board - it worked wonderfully.
     
  22. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Jade_Eyes Like that Mara was willing to take the risk and her realization that giving up control and the possibility of success in the relationship was what was making her anxious and antsy. So... Luke's smile and presence banished her uncertainty.

    Thank you! :) Glad you?re enjoying this. Yes, he has the touch, doesn?t he? Mara?s in a tight spot: she has to rethink everything if she wants this to work. [face_worried]


    TnTornado She had become "jaded" to relationships and decided she didn't want one - great job showing this.

    Thank you! I think she had kind of resigned herself to thinking this wasn?t the way her life would turn out. Then she fell for Luke and everything changed.:*


    RedGold Mara was perfect here!! Can't wait for more.

    Thanks! As soon as Alley_Skywalker releases the next set of words, I?ll start the next installment. [face_dancing]


    Jedi Trace This is such a great chapter! Mara?s musings are perfect. I really like the reference to the eulogies and epitaphs of her victims. That?s probably something that she would keep tucked away in her heart and I like how you mention that she has come to terms with it.

    LOL! Thanks, Trace! I had a very romantic scene in mind originally, then getting ?eulogy? and ?epitaph? really took the romance right out of the room. But you?re right, I think she?d deal with the consequences of her actions rather than denies them or excuses them.;)

    I?d love to be a patron in that bar just to sit back and watch all this play out.

    It would be entertaining, wouldn?t it?:D

    Thanks for the beta, as always, and thank you for the reply.@};-


    RebelMom Nice job of going over Mara's emotions.

    Thanks!:)

    Are you planning on doing the entire alphabet? I feel that my vocabulary is improving with each part.

    That?s the plan. The words come from [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/24644060/p1/?13] The Wordy Fic Challenge [/link]I have the story mapped out pretty much through Z. I just need to make the challenge words fit smoothly into the scenes.;)


    Ginchy I'm love to see Mara's thought process... she knows that something big is happening, but that's scary because it will change so much about her comfortable (if lonely, I bet) life.

    Thank you! Mara has a lot to think about. It?s scary to take the leap from the tried-and-true into the unknown.[face_worried]

    That Bruno's a keeper, eh?

    Yes, he is. And the plan is for you to find out more about Bruno and Alida as the story progresses. (Not next chapter, though. That?s reserved for L/M.)[face_love]


    Jedi_Kassandra Awww, I love it!!

    Thank you!:)


    Jade_Pilot Forget what a great job (fantastic job even) you're doing by using all these words--I just LOVE this story! I love how you ended this part on such a hopeful note.

    Thank you! Yes, although I have occasionally dunked my characters in a big old vat of angst, this story is a romance. So hopeful and happy are my keys here. I?m glad I?m still entertaining, even though I myself have to look up half these words!:)


    GabriJade I do believe this is another story that I've been forgetting to leave feedback on. I really, really like it, though. That help make up for my neglect?

    Of course! I?m happy you like it. Thank you![face_batting]

    ?She tapped a newly manicured nail against the stem of the glass. Mara didn?t waste time on frivolity, so the salon trip had been a rare indulgence. Whatever possessed her to consider this evening so important that she should get her nails done??

    Now that's a great snapshot of a character. As I finished the first sentence, I was thinking, "Whoa, Mara got her nails done for this? " Wonderful attention to detail.


    Well, it?s ?fess up time. The first line is mine, but it was Jedi_Trace who suggested I expand that. So J
     
  23. star_writer24

    star_writer24 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Wow great story. I really an enjoying your portrayal of Mara. She strong and feminine, but not harsh. Your doing a beautiful job!
     
  24. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Star_writer24: Thank you! I'm glad you approve of my version of Mara. I'm trying to make her realistic and self-sufficient without coming across as cold. She has her reasons for being cautious. And this is pre-VOTF, so she also has her concerns, too.

    Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! [face_dancing]
     
  25. walker-of-minds

    walker-of-minds Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 21, 2006
    This is amazing so original really -will look forwards to more soon I hope
     
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