An American Werewolf In London

LOL! That'll teach you!! Cats can tell those that don't like them much and know how to deal with those situations... I bet the cat was waiting for you to try summat like that so it had a decent excuse to go for your eyeballs! LOL!!

 

Would have been even funnier if he'd gone for another set of balls....

 

I had to go to hospital to get a tetnus..when I got back the cat had just dropped another set of kids off in my lovely trainers...

As I said before....

8 - nil

 

Ouch! Tetnus shots...owie! Right in the wound....

I think I'd rather die of rabis.

So when did you drown her?

 

They belonged to an ex-girlfriend..she had two of them...

I wouldn't let them sleep iin bed with us..but she had to go a vist her sick mum and she pleaded for me to let them sleep with me.

So i'm laying in bed reading the unbearable lightness of being when in come cat 1..she kneeds the duvet and settles down..

I'm thinking this is okay...and turned the light off...

3 minutes later she leaves a regurgitated hairball in my ear...

From that day on.......


War

 

LOL!

I could say something but I promised to be nicer.

And no, I'm not dying.

 

..or how about the time she start dragging her claws along my records...so i throw a slipper at her and it totally misses her and smashes through the window...

Not that I was throwing it hard or anything...

 

ROTFL!

Arun's experiences with cats sound like they're all Garfield.

 

I'm about to burst with laughter! Those two cats seem like nightmares! LOL!

Were they moggies or pedigree jobs?

 

He's got to be making this up.....

No cat is that tunned into guys who need punishment.

 

I could go on and on...

The cherry on top was the p!ssing in the face while I slept...

The girlfriend found it hilarious...

She didn't laugh when I kicked her cat across the room...

That pretty much was the end of my relationship with mad cat woman

ED: Moggies..sisters..

 

Oh, I see. So it was really the girl friend doing all this.

 

They what???? Bloody hell!!

 

No it was the cats....

but I'm sure she trained them to channel her hate..

 

That's really twisted, Arun. Hope this new girlfriend of yours is half way normal cause if half of your stories are even a third true, you either prefer girls straight out of an insane asylum or you have the worst luck known to man.

 

It's all true...

Do you want me to tell her any stories about her?

How about her dad who was an alcoholic and while crashed on the couch 2 burglers broke into the house and cleared out the front room..but before leaving moved the drunk dad and the couch into the garden for extra head****

 

head****?

 

think of a word that rhymes with 'luck'.

 

Well I thought as much but it didn't make sense unless we're going with the theme of your last PM, Gittes.

 

Holy smoke! I wanna burst into tears of laughter, but then I'd likely get found out as being a lazy bastich!!

 

Touche! Not at all in the same way though - usually refers to something which quite literally flucks your brain up/ can't get your head round eg;

'That bird was a right headfluck'
'That exam! What a headfluck' etc

That will be $35 for the English lesson...

 

This ex girlfriend Arun, was she a white witch? My mate went out with one. Back at her place she opend this little cupboard/alter and lit loads of candles around the room. Then she did a dance and said right, you can take me up the a$~e now

 

Crash courses in slang don't count.


Jesus, Ooh! He must have thought she was an angel.

Seeing as how you guys seem to prefer that position.

I have my theories on why.

 

OaC , you MUST introduce me to this girl!

 

The funny thing is, two months ago I would have never considered earning my brown wings, but after I've heard you lot talking about it so much, I feel as if I'm missing out on something... I feel shamed...

As for the ex-missus, Arun, tell us more stories! They is very amusing!