Before the Saga An Exercise in Precise Terminology

Title: An Exercise in Precise Terminology
Author: rktho_writes
Characters: Jabba Desilijic Tiure, original character
Genre: Humorous short story
Timeline: Prior to 32 BBY
Summary: Jabba commends his architect for successfully installing a delightful addition to his throne room.

Jabba summoned the architect before him. "Thank you for designing a pit to house my new monster."

"You're welcome, mighty Jabba," the architect bowed with pride. "It's an oubliette."

Jabba stroked his nonexistent chin. "Tell me, how does the pit—"

"Oubliette," the architect clarified.

The Hutt graciously corrected himself. "—oubliette work?"

"Well, you simply press the button at your left," said the architect with an expositional flourish, "and the trapdoor will open."

"I see!" Jabba exclaimed delightedly. "And how am I to look into the pit—"

"Oubliette."

The Hutt cleared his throat, forcefully. "—look into the oubliette and see the entertainment for myself?"

The architect beamed. "That is all automatic. I have constructed mechanisms which will retract the floor panels to reveal a viewing grate..." He gestured with another flourish. "...and, at the same time, move your dais to the edge for your viewing pleasure."

Jabba chuckled with satisfaction. "Most ingenious! I am very pleased with my rancor pit."

The architect coughed. "Oubliette."

Jabba dropped the trapdoor from under the architect's feet. "Yes, that's what I said."

 

Headcanon accepted! This is absolutely how Jabba would handle the situation. Don't get mad, drop them in the rancor pit. (Oubliette. )

 

I thought it would tickle your fancy!

 

That's Jabba, drop them in the oubliette

 

The kicker is that it's not even a true oubliette. By design, a traditional medieval oubliette was often too narrow for the victim to sit down, and the trapdoor was often the only access point. You'd never be able to fit a rancor in there. Jabba gives his victims at least enough room to cower in the corner until the rancor snatches them up and delivers a relatively quick death. Oubliette victims were almost always left to starve, sometimes given just enough sustenance to prolong their suffering. As far as dungeons and executions thereby are concerned, they aren't remotely similar. The architect just wanted to use a fancy word for "dungeon with a trapdoor."

 

I guess that architect never read all the stories about architects who end up being the first victims of what they built. Love the professional pride here, correcting Jabba with 'oubliette' and being completely oblivious to who he's talking to!

 

Thank you! And yeah, this guy should really learn what happens to Jabba's architects! Well, I suppose he did...

 

Ha ha, great job! At first I thought we were seeing a lighter, gentler side of Jabba throughout the scene, but then I realized he just needed to extract the useful information from the architect first before it was gone. Still the same ol' Jabba. The word "oubliette" is going to be stuck in my head now when I watch that scene. Nice work!

 

Thank you very much!

 

Thanks for the laugh! I love the pompous architect's obliviousness to what kind of client he was dealing with. Also, am I the only one who thinks of Labyrinth when I hear the word "oubliette"?

 

An appropriate connection, I'm sure! The Goblin King's maze is so vast, there must be a couple dozen of them dotted around somewhere. Thanks for reading!

 

Entertainingly plausible.

 

Thank you! That's exactly what I was going for. Even if the timeline didn't match up or there was already a story that contradicted this (and to my knowledge there isn't) I felt like this definitely could have happened.

 

This was so good. I was trying hard not to chuckle while reading it at work... Amazingly done and I love it.

 

Thank you!