JCC Senate Asexual/Demisexual power thread

Recently I've come to the conclusion that I am likely asexual. I am capable of feeling attraction to others (example: he has really nice eyes) but I don't enjoy anything more than cuddling. Kissing, for example, sort of grosses me out at least when I do it (it doesn't gross me out to think about other people kissing). When I think about a long term relationship or marriage, it's mainly in the context of what my parents or society would expect of me. What I'd be "supposed" to do in order to be a fulfilled person or whatever. Just a checkbox to tick off when really my passions lean more toward intellectual stimulation (reading and writing) and travel. I'd probably be happier and more fulfilled spending money on seeing the world than raising a family.

I haven't told my parents about this revelation yet. I fear they might be upset that I won't give them grandchildren or that I'll end up being "alone" forever. I won't really be alone given that I have other meaningful relationships that aren't sexual in nature, but I think that's how they'll see it: that I'm sort of dooming myself to miserable aloneness. On the other hand, it might be a sort of relief to tell them and to just hopefully have them no longer expecting me to ever walk down an aisle in a white dress or give them grandkids.

Yesterday I did "come out" as asexual to my little sister when she came up from Virginia to visit me, and she was very supportive. Just treated it as a totally valid path to life and not as a lesser one. Nice to have an open conversation with her that could still be very casual. She's cool in that way. I do plan on telling my brother, since he already pretty much knows that I don't have any marriage plans and like my younger sister, I think he'd be cool with me being me in this way. I am not sure that I will tell my older sister right now. I think she will be more inclined to question me about this rather than to be supportive and for now I'd rather keep my identity a secret known only to those who can be supportive of it and me.

I downloaded "The Invisible Orientation" onto my Kindle, and I look forward to reading it. I hope it will be informative and helpful to me as I come to more deeply accept and understand this part of my identity.

I am grateful to live in the era I do when it is more acceptable for women to remain single than it was in the past, and when asexuality is at least somewhat more understood and accepted than in the past though obviously large strides in education and acceptance of asexuality still need to be made.

@Lord Vivec Your comment is pretty hurtful to me. Asexual people do exist, and, therefore, deserve to be acknowledged. Education about asexuality is lacking in many places and should be provided since many people aren't even really aware of what asexuality is or what it means. Misconceptions about asexuality also abound and can be very stigmatizing and hurtful to real people. The better question is why ignore our existence? Why diminish us? Why spread misconceptions about us? Why not just acknowledge we exist and treat us with dignity?

 

@SateleNovelist11 Yes, iI prefer being independent and having my own freedom. I might feel confined in a relationship.

@Jedi Ben It has been liberating for me to realize that I just don't really have an interest in being part of a very sexualized society in terms of a long-term romantic relationship or marriage for myself. Even if I'm "supposed" to want that, I don't want that, and I'm beginning to embrace that truth about myself.