Beyond - Legends Atonement- a Jacen Solo Fanfic

Lady Belligerent, I´m really glad you like him. I guess everyone of us should have someone like Gaven in his or her life.

Thirteen

They had returned to the shuttle, both Gaven and Jacen agreed that they should stay away from the ruins of the academy.

Jacen knew that whatever had been left of Caedus inside him was gone, but he wasn´t sure what would happen if he returned to the ruins. And Gaven had also fought against the visions and no desire to do it again.
"I guess we can be sure that the Jedi enclave is not at the academy," Gaven pointed out after they returned. "The dark side is too strong there, I don´t think even group of Jedi can shield themselves against it for a longer time."

"Do you still thinks it´s on this continent?" Nev asked him.

Gaven nodded. "Yes, I think that´s still the most likely place for them to hide. I guess our next step should be to contact one of the local tribes, maybe they can tell us something that helps us."

"Gaven, we both know what we should do. Where we should search," Nev said. "Stop this pointless waste of time."

Gaven sighed. "I don´t think we should go there, not after what happened at the academy."

"You have said yourself that the Jedi would want to keep an eye on it. And I don´t think the dark side is there as strong as in the academy."

Gaven shook his head. "No, but there is a different kind of danger. I can´t say what will happen when we go there."

"What are you talking about?" Jacen asked but he felt he knew the answer already.

"The Phaeron." Gaven said quietly.

"What is it? And why does it scares you so much?"

The older Jedi said nothing to this, until Nev spoke to him, "You should tell him."

Gaven sighted again. "Okay, I guess you would someday learn it anyway. The Phaeron is a temple in the mountains, nobody really knows who build it. Some say it was build by the first colonists, other claim it was created by the original inhabitants of Learan, who died out long before someone could travel through space. And there are some who believe that it has been here since the creation of the universe."


"It´s called the monument of darkness, cause it´s built from a black stone found in the mountains of Learan. A stone so consistent that you need laser to cut through it. And because there is a darkness in the place that seems very unnatural,"Nev continued.

"But how could an ancient civilization could have build it, without lasers?" Jacen asked.

Gaven answered, "nobody knows, as far as we know the temple was already here when the first colonists reached Learan. There is a theory that there where earlier visitors we never heard of."

For a moment nobody said a word than Nev continued, "the local tribes fear the place and stay away even from its shadows. Sometimes visitors from other worlds came here to see it, but it never where much and those who came left soon. I was there once with Gaven and the whole time I felt an unspeakable fear."

"But why should the jedi be interested into it?" Jacen asked them.

When Gaven answered Jacen felt the sorrow in his voice. "Because of the prophecy. In the temple there is a wall and in this wall is an old prophecy written, a prophecy over the end of the universe. Nobody knows who has written it, but some believe that what´s written there is the truth. I know that the Jedi were interested in it and maybe the Sith where too."

"But there were thousands of prophecy's like this in the universe, what makes this so special?" Jacen pointed out.

"Well there are a few reasons. The first is that nobody knows who has written this one. Most of the other tales like this were created by local tribes and cultures. Second is that this prophecy requires knowledge, some tribe simply couldn´t have. And then there is of course the presence you feel there, the darkness that never leaves the temple."

He kept quiet for a moment, than he muttered, "And the visions."

Nev turned to Jacen. "But you will see it yourself when you come with us."

Gaven turned to his friend. "I don´t know if Jacen should go there."

Nev shook her head. "We could need him there and he has a right to see it if he wants."

Gaven sighted. "Okay, I guess then we go together. We will rest here for a few hours and then, we´ll take the shuttle."

Jacen sat on the grass and looked though the valley in the direction the academy laid.

"It wasn´t your fault." Gaven assured him.

"What, that I became Caedus, that I killed all these innocents? I did that."

Gaven nodded. "Yeah you did and that you know that shows me that you are not lying to yourself." the older Jedi sat down next to Jacen.

"Caedus was a part of me, he said and he was right. He was a part of me, but now he is gone."

"And how do you feel about it?" Gaven asked him.

"It felt like closure, I was unsure what to do with my life, if there is a chance for me to gain redemption or if I´m just a monster. Now I know that I can´t say if I will ever earn forgiveness but, I will try anyway as you said. And I will try to forgive myself."

"That´s the most important thing. I´ve I killed this girl in the village I hated myself, I thought I was a slaughterer, for a time I just wanted to die. But later I realized that there were still things I could do. That I could become a better person and I did. Don´t get me wrong I will never forget what I did and I will feel sorry about it for the rest of my life, but I also know that I´m not this man anymore. That there is a reason for me to live."

Jacen nodded slowly: "Yes that´s what I said to Caedus, what I said to myself. I´ve got this second chance, I shouldn´t waste it because of what happened."

Gaven smiled at him. "So maybe it wasn´t completely pointless that we went to the academy. I guess facing your inner demons has helped you to overcome them."

"Do you met yours too?" Jacen asked.

"Yes I did."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes.

Then Gaven turned again to Jacen, "When we go to the Phaeron, you might face a vision. Some force users do, I had one when I was there the second time. Your sister has told me that it were visions of a great war that lead you to the dark side. Are you sure you want to go there?"

Jacen thought about it for a time. he remembered the visions he had, the visions that led him to sparing Lumya, to become her apprentice.

Would he react the same if he would face another vision like that?
He didn´t knew. And the other vision? Of the dark man and Allana? What if he saw this again? He knew the answer, he had said it into Caedus face.

He wouldn´t try to change it again. His grandfather had made this mistake, and Jacen himself too.

"I will accompany you. I think you could need my help."

Gaven nodded. "That's right. But if you experience a vision please tell me about it, don´t keep it to yourself. I´m here to help you."

For a moment Jacen thought about telling Gaven of the other vision he experienced, the vision of his daughter standing next to the dark man on his throne. But decided to keep quiet about it, he trusted Gaven but he didn´t trusted the vision.

Was it even real? Or another part in the plan to drive him to the dark side? Gaven stood up. "I want to take a look at the map of the planet before we start."

He left and Jacen stayed where he was.

"Are you alright?" Nev sat down next to him.

"Yes, now I am." Jacen answered, "Thanks to you and Gaven."

"You were Jacen Solo right?" She asked him.

He nodded. "That´s what they called me. Today I´m just Jacen."

"I thought of it right after meeting you, but after we were at the academy I was sure. You are looking good for some who is dead for four years."

Jacen smiled a bit. "It´s a secret only my family knew about it and Gaven."

"I won't tell anybody," she assured him. "I heard what you did."

"And you don´t hate me for it?" he asked her.

"Gaven believes in you and me too. Not just because he does, I´ve seen how you are struggling, how your guilt overcomes you, but in the end you stayed who you are."

For a moment nobody of them spoke, but then Jacen turned again to Nev, "Why does this Phaeron worries Gaven so much. He is always so calm and he had the courage to fight against me when he dark side controlled me."

Nev said nothing to this for a while, then she told in with a worried tone. "This prophecy, well Gaven knows it. It has always been a ledged but what happened in the galaxy in the last fifty years... It seems that the prophecy has started to fulfil itself."

 

Lady Belligerent I´m relived that you like both of them. I think Jacen really needed them.

Fourteen

The temple was dark when they reached it.
Nev had told him that the temple was always dark but he hadn´t thought of this. In a canyon of the mountains stood this building almost invisible among the dark stone around them. If Nev hadn´t shown him where it was, Jacen might hadn´t recognized it.
When they approached the canyon with the shuttle Jacen had thought that this canyon might be similar to the valley of the dark lords of Korriban but he had been wrong with that. This canyon was dead, here was nothing, not even the force. In the time he had spent on Learan he had learned that the dark side was always present here, but in this canyon he felt nothing of it.
It was like he had entered another planet, a planet where everything had died ages ago. Here was nothing living, just the stone. The only life he felt came from Nev and Gaven. "Should we go inside?" he asked the older Jedi. Gaven thought about it for a moment before he nodded: "Yes, maybe the Jedi left a hint there, for others to find."

Gaven lead them to the front of the temple, a large staircase lay before them. Behind it Jacen saw the gate of the building, a massive door made of the same black stone like everything else here. When they approached it Jacen recognized that the whole wall was filled with reliefs. He didn´t recognized any forms or structures among them they seemed completely chaotic but at the same time very structured. Just looking at it made him frighten a bit.
This place was old, very old but it looked as it was designed by a great mind and created with tools that weren´t half as old. The three of them reached the door and Gaven laid one of his hands on the dark stone. The door opened without making the slightest noise.
Behind the door there was only darkness, but Jacen couldn´t feel any danger around them. They were alone, he couldn´t even feel a presence. For a moment they just stood there and looked into the darkness before them. Than Gaven entered the temple and Jacen followed him. After they entered the door closed behind them again without any noise.

Jacen frightened, but when he touched the door with his hand it opened again. "Is there chance to keep it open?" he asked Gaven. The older man shook his head: "No, it closes itself after a while. But we can reopen it when we leave." Jacen stepped back from the door and it closed again. Darkness was around them, he couldn´t see anything.
Than a blue lighting was born next to him as Gaven activated his lightsaber.
A few seconds later Nev activated her luminous torch and they could see more. They stood in a room, large enough that the millennium falcon could land there. The ceiling was almost as high as in the main hall of the great pyramids on Yarvin.
On every wall Jacen saw the same carvings like on the outside. "What is their meaning?" He asked Gaven, instead Nev answered the question: "Nobody knows. Maybe it´s art or a language. We don´t even know how they engraved it."

"We should go further." Gaven told them. They went though the hall and entered a corridor, where the ceiling was as half as high as in the hall and the three humans could walk beside each other. The corridor was long and Jacen assumed that it lead them below the mountains. After they walked for a while Nev turned to Gaven: "This is strange. Last time I was nervous the whole time, but now I feel nothing." Gaven nodded slowly: "You´re right I feel no pressure, no fear. Jacen?" Jacen thought about it for a moment, he was a bit worried about the door but aside from that he felt nothing, they were alone, nobody threatened them.
He shook his head: "I´m okay." "It feels almost as the temple accepts us." Gaven said to them, "I don´t know if this is good or bad but it gives me a bad feeling. Something has changed here."
Nobody said something after this and they continued their way until they reached another hall. It was so large that Jacen couldn´t see the other end in the light and neither the ceiling. For a moment they stood just there and felt the time that lasted on this place.
Then Gaven said: "I will get us a bit more light."

He threw his lightsaber upwards into the darkness. Using the force he kept it activated and controlled its flight. The light of the weapon filled the cavern and Jacen saw how large it was. The room was build like a cathedral, long with a high ceiling over which more carvings were written.
On the other side of the room he could saw an altar close to the wall and in the space between them and the altar stood hundreds of stone benches. It looked like a place for worship, a place of faith. Nobody was here. Gavens lightsaber returned to his owners hand and the darkness returned. "Was this place already this when the first colonists found it?"

Jacen asked. "Yes, everything looked like it does today. The time didn´t changed anything here and neither did someone." Gaven answered. They walked through the hall. Left and right of them endless rows of benches stood. Jacen imagined how it must have looked here in the time this place was created.
The whole shrine filled with beings that came here to worship whatever they believed in. Whoever they were and whatever happened to them, this place was still remembering their greatness. The legacy of a great civilisation.
Then they reached the altar, it was created like everything else here out of this dark stone. The altar was completely plain, nothings was engraved there. But it was the wall behind the altar that they had come for.
There were something engraved, words, in basic:

When tyranny takes its place of the centre of the universe,
When planets shatter and the galaxy is reshaped,
When the outsiders return and the force trembles,
When the greatest son falls and the innocent pay the price,
When the unity breaks and the guardians are scattered,
The final war begins and the fate turns upon the last heroes.

Jacen starred at the words on the wall, he heard them as would a voice read them inside of his mind. "The prophecy of Learan." Gaven told him.
"It´s in basic!" Jacen said unbelievingly. "Yes, it´s an older form of the language but yes it´s basic." For a while Jacen starred again on the prophecy, then Gaven asked: "Do you understand what it´s referring to?" Jacen looked at the first part:

When tyranny takes its place at the centre of the universe. "The galactic empire." Gaven nodded: "Yes the emperor overthrew the Jedi and rule the galaxy from the core, not from the outer rim like earlier Sith Lords."
When planets shatter and the galaxy is reshaped. "Alderaan." Jacen muttered, "And the rise of the new republic." "Yes, Alderaan was destroyed as was the death star. And later the second too. In the place of the old republic the new republic was born and instead of the old jedi order your uncle created a new one."

When the outsiders return and the force trembles. "The Vong war. They tried to conquer the galaxy but the first of them arrived here a long time ago. They were outside of the force and tried to kill the force users." This time Jacen gave the explanation himself, and the more he understood of the prophecy the more it frightened him.

When the greatest son falls and the innocent pay the price. For a moment everything around him became dark and he started to shiver. He knew what this part was referring too. To him, he had burned down the galaxy and killed millions of innocents and here in a dark chamber on a lost world stood it since thousands of years. He felt Gavens hand on his shoulder.
"Caedus was right." he muttered, "I am a monster, I was born this way. It was my fate to become a Sith Lord." "Jacen you are not a Sith anymore." Gaven told him, "Maybe there is this prophecy but it didn´t changes who you are. A good man."
"I am a monster I always was." "You´re not. Not any more Caedus is dead you said it yourself." That calmed Jacen down. Gaven was right, he made his choice the evil ones but also the good ones. It had been his choice to become a Sith lord but also to return to the light and become a Jedi again.
He looked at the next part:

When unity breaks and the guardians are scattered. "What is it referring to?" He asked Gaven. "I don´t know I think this part of the prophecy hasn´t happened jet. "Do you think it´s referring to the things that happen right now in the galaxy?" "Maybe, we can´t say this." He looked at the last part.
The final war begins and the fate turns upon the last heroes. "The final war." Jacen muttered, "The last heroes."

"I don´t know what it means. I think it says that a war will come, against whomever. A war that determines the fate of the galaxy." They stood there in silence. Jacen thought about it for a moment. "I must think about all this." He told Gaven. The older Jedi nodded:
"But not here. I think we should return to the shuttle. I´ve looked around while you read the text and I found nothing aside from black rock. I guess we should search in the nearest canyons."
Jacen and Nev both nodded in approval. They left the altar and walked slowly back through the cathedral. Jacens thoughts ran through his mind and he tried to get some order into them, he wished Jaina was here than they could solve this riddle together like when they were children.
Nev suddenly stopped and breathed in sharp.
Jacen looked around.

They had reached almost the end of the hall and there before them on the last bench, sat someone.

 

Lady Belligerent Thanks, I spent some time creating the prophecy I´m glad you like it.

Fifteen

Instinctively Jacen had reached for his lightsaber, but of course he didn´t wear it. Instead he reached for the blaster the jedi gave him instead. There on the last bench before the corridor sat a man. He wore a long robe in a color Jacen didn´t recognize in the darkness.
White?
Grey?
"I greet you." The man said in a soft voice, "Seems I´m not the only one who came to pay my respect." Gaven stepped a bit closer to the man and Jacen tried to get a better look on the face of the stranger, but it was hidden in the shadows of his hood.
"I hadn´t expected to meet someone here." Gaven said carefully. "Neither I did, the galaxy is big and this is just an old cavern on a lost world. It´s been years since the last strangers visited this place." "Do you live here?"

Gaven asked. The man laughed: "No, nobody lives here. I just visit the place from time to time. It´s quiet here and I can think clear." "And where do you live?" Nev asked the man.
"In a small village beyond the mountains. You are not from Learan, so you wouldn´t know it." "Do you know much about this place?" Jacen asked him. "Not more than you anyone else does. I´ve read the words on the wall several times but they don´t tell me more than the others." For a moment nobody said a word than the man asked:
"You are searching for the enclave." It wasn´t a question, it was a statement.
"How do you know?" Gaven asked him while keeping his lightsaber activated. "Well, you are a Jedi and I can´t think of another reason a Jedi would come the far way from the galactic core to Learan if not to search for it."

"Do you know something about it?" Nev asked. "You weren´t the first ones who were searching for it," he told them, "When I was younger the Empire searched for it though the whole sector, they even came to Learan. But they didn´t stay here for long. Nobody does. They found nothing, why do you think you have a chance to find more than thousands of soldiers?"
"We are Jedi," Gaven assured him, "When there is an enclave of Jedi hiding from the Sith they maybe recognize us and leave their cover."
"Why should they do that?" "Because we could help them, they could return to the galaxy and rejoin the order. They don´t have to hide any longer." Jacen felt how the man smiled under his hood: "Did you ever thought about they didn´t want to return? That they would prefer to stay here on Learan?"
Who is this man? He is more than just a local. Jacen became more and more suspicious, while the man talked. He could feel that Gaven got the same impression.
"When they are still Jedi, they would want to help the galaxy, they wouldn´t hide here and let others suffer." Answered Gaven, "That's what Jedi do." "You have a strong faith in your fellow Jedi." Gaven said nothing for a moment, then Nev said:

"You know something about it. About them." The man kept silent.
"Can you help us finding them?" ,she continued. The stranger raised his head: "Why should I help you?" "We need to find these Jedi. Maybe they posses knowledge that can help us save many lives. When there is anything we could do for you in return just name it."
"I don´t think I need the help of a Jedi, but thanks. Tell me, why are you searching for them? Why now?"
"The galaxy is threatened by an ancient danger. The council sent us to find out if the Jedi here know something about it. And we recorded an distress signal of the old Jedi hailing from this sector." "There are many old distress calls out here, some older and some newer." The man responded. "After I found out about this one I offered the council to search for it, I´m just a single Jedi and I wanted to leave the others anyway, at least for a while."

"And your friend?" The man pointed at Jacen. "They decided that he should accompany me. I thought I could help him. He has been through so much." Gaven answered.
"Is he your student?" The older jedi shook his head: "No, he is my friend."
Jacen recognized that the man didn´t spent any concentration on Nev, he ignored her almost completely. "So you claim to be Jedi?" The man asked them. "Just me and Jacen. This is Nev she is a good friend of mine who knows the sector, well actually her name is..."
"Just call me Nev." The woman stopped Gaven before he could tell more. The man stood up:
"I guess Nev will be okay and you are?"

"My name is Gaven and you?" He stranger took down his hood, he seemed a few years older than Gaven and had an sharp, beardless face and short grey hair :
"I am the man you are searching for." The stranger made a defensive gesture. Gaven raised his weapon:
"We are on the same side." The stranger smiled:
"Maybe, we will find out soon."
A lighting flew thought the cavern and Jacen lost his consciousness.

Jacen stood inside of his cell and had placed one hand at the transparisteel that separated him from the outside world.
He had lost any idea of the time, he didn´t know how long he had stayed in his cell. At first he had counted every time when he was awake a day and when he sleeps a night. But he had no idea how much time had progressed out there. He asked himself often how the galaxy had changed since they imprisoned but he knew he would never find out.

The Jedi would keep him in this cell for the rest of his life, there was no alternative. But he knew this was more than he deserved. He had been a Sith Lord and most of them hadn´t got any mercy from the Jedi. Jaina was here again, but he couldn´t tell how much time had passed since they spoke for the last time. In between his parents had visited him, for the second time since the beginning of his captivity.
It hadn´t been much better than the first time. He had almost started to cry when they entered the room and their harsh words had hurt him more than anything else in his life with the exception of Tenel Kas vistit. His parents hated him and he knew they had any right for it.
What he had done was unforgivable. But at least, at least they hadn´t demanded his death like Tenel Ka did.

They saw livelong imprisonment as a more fitting punishment for their son. No not their son, not anymore, Jacen Solo was dead. He was just something left, of Jacen, of Caedus, of Mykr. After they had left he had experienced anger fear and sadness at the same time for days until he managed to calm himself down. After this he had spend a long time alone, nobody had visited him and he had started to think that he would never see a living person, only the droids that took care of his needs.
But now his sister had returned to him.
"How are you doing?" She asked him, not even unfriendly."I´m still alive." Something more positive would have been a lie. "I can see that. I´ve heard it wasn´t easy for you the last time."
"It had never been easy, that´s my punishment. I don´t deserve better. I am a monster." "Not always, there is still something of the brother I love inside you." Tears began to run out of Jacens eyes as he realized what his sister had just said to him. It was maybe the first time someone said a friendly thing to him since he was imprisoned. "I don´t deserve that love." He said after awhile.

"It´s my decision whom I love. Once you were a part of me Jacen we were closer than anyone else. I will never forget that." Jacen said nothing to this, he didn´t know what he should say.
"The galaxy may think that you are dead and our parents say the same but for me something of my brother is still alive."
"Maybe..."
He sobbed the words more than he spoke them. For a while there was again silence than Jaina came to him and said:
"You will spent the rest of your life here, it´s your choice if you do it as Jacen or Caedus."

 

I'm sorry to be dropping in - but I can see that this is a great story, so I had to point the following out, in case you could gain more readers once you've fixed it: these walls of text and chapters with no paragraphs to speak of are extremely unpleasant on the eye, especially for us who have various vision-related problems and issues with concentration. It could be a good, very good idea to split the paragraphs into smaller chunks.

If you need any help with that, I'll be happy to give you a hand. Or, you could have a look at how us fanficcers are doing it.

Hope this wasn't inappropriate - it broke my heart that nobody other than your beta was commenting on it and I thought I would be a sport and give you a heads-up.

 

Ewok Poet You´re right. I´ve changed the chapters like you suggested. I hope it´s better now.

Lady Belligerent I loved that line too.

Sixteen

When Jacen awoke darkness surrounded him.
He couldn't see anything. "Gaven?" He muttered. "Nev?"
No one answered him. When he reached into the force he felt nothing in his near. He was alone. His blaster was missing, but he still wore the same clothes he hid in the caverns. His head was hurting a bit, but not too much. Other than that he was unwounded. He was laying on the floor, a floor made of stone. Carefully he stood up and felt around him with his hands. The room seemed to be large, as he couldn´t reach a wall in any directions. He remembered what happened before he passed out. He asked himself whom they had meet down there. At first he had seemed to be a local, but then they had realized that there was more about the stranger as longer they talked.
And then... He had claimed to be the man they were searching for and shortly after he had attacked them. "

You are finally awake."
Jacen turned around. The stranger had entered the room and closed the door behind him. In his hand he hold a luminous torch, that filled the room with a grey light. "Where is Gaven?" Jacen asked him. "He is alive at least right now. That´s all you need to know." His voice was commanding but not even unfriendly. "So, you claim to be a Jedi?" he asked Jacen. Jacen shivered only a few days ago he had denied this but now? He thought about it for a moment than he said: "I am a Jedi." The man had reached him and Jacen could see into his dark blue eyes. The stranger sat down and place the torch before him on the floor.

"Do you want to sit down? We have to talk." Sure what to do Jacen sat down: "The emperor is dead there is no need to hide anymore." Jacen told him. The man laughed:
"I know that Cosinga Palpatine has met his end years ago and that there is very little left of his empire. But I guess we both know that there are greater threads out there. Maybe you and your friend are Jedi, but you could also be here to take my life." Once again Jacen asked himself who this man was.
He knows more about the galaxy than the most it seems. "We will find out your motives I assure you." He told Jacen with his soft voice. "When you are truly a Jedi, I will answer your questions. If you are a servant of the dark side I will kill you and your friends." Jacen shivered, what when the man found out who he was? Then Gaven and Nev would become two more victims of Darth Caedus.
"I will face your test." He said a bit stuttering. The man smiled: "Of course you will. When you are ready open yourself in the force then we shall see." Jacen became even more nervous and he prayed to the force that anything of Caedus had truly left him.

Then he opened himself to his interrogator. He felt how the man answered to his call, he felt how the stranger looked at him how he looked at his core. The man took his time he just sat there and read Jacen through the force without saying a word. And while he learned more about Jacen, Jacen learned more about him. He felt the strong will of his opponent, the devotion to the light but with a stricter tone than the Jedi he knew, this man would rather kill a fallen jedi than trying to redeem them. He believed in rules and he followed a code. Jacen felt the years of war this man had experienced.
Then suddenly it ended and the stranger ended their connection.

He said nothing for a while and Jacen knew that he failed. He would die here from the hands of the Jedi they were searching for. In the end it was maybe even just, he would die for the things he had done. But Gaven and Nev would also die. He feared for them, they were good persons and didn´t deserved this. It was his fault not Gavens. Suddenly the man opened his eyes again: "I feel a great guilt inside you and a great darkness you have been a servant of the dark side."

Jacen shivered again: "You´re right I followed the dark path, but Gaven and Nev never did. Kill me if you want, but don´t judge them for my crimes." The man raised his hand and Jacen felt silent: "But I can feel that you overcame your darkness, you found your way back to the light. Your strength impresses me only a few Jedi have fallen as deep as you and managed to return."
"I wasn´t alone." Jacen muttered but the man raised his hand again. "I can´t feel any hatred inside you at the moment. You are ready to die but your worry about your friends. No Sith would do that." He kept silent for a moment but Jacen didn´t speak again. "You are not serving the dark side anymore." The man concluded. Jacen felt relief floating though his mind Gaven and Nev wouldn´t have to die for him, at least not right now.

"So I´ve passed your test?" Jacen asked. "We shall see, it´s not over yet but before we continue, you may ask me the question you want to ask since I entered the room." For a moment Jacen said nothing, than he asked: "Who are you?" "I am, Mako Thorne, I am a Jedi of the old order." For a while nobody of them said a word than Thorne turned to him:

"Now, Jacen Solo please tell me what lead you here."
Jacen froze: "How do you know?"
Thorne smiled: "I´ve already talked to your friend, so don´t lie to me." "When should I start?" Jacen asked him. "At the beginning of the path that lead you here." Not knowing what was expected of him Jacen started to tell Thorne what he wanted to know. He started with the time when he was a student in Luke Skywalker Jedi academy. It took him a long time because Thorne interrupted him frequently to came back to an earlier memory or he asked a question how a certain decision played out in the future before returning to the present time. Jacen told him the truth about everything and only left the vision of Allana and the dark man out, because he feared if he tried to hide more his interrogator would become suspicious and maybe decide that he wasn´t honest to him. Jacen knew that once he had tried to mislead him to hide his secrets but now he feared that Gaven and Nev would have to pay the price for it.

While he spoke with Thorne he realized that his opponent was very intelligent and cultivated. He spoke with a soft voice and was always very friendly. Everything of Jacens tale seemed to interest him: The shadow academy, Jaina and Anakin, the mission to Mykr, the teachings of Vegere and Lumya, the dark nest, Jacens travels, the second galactic civil war and Darth Caedus.
Especially the Jacens vision of the galactic war interested him and he asked Jacen do describe him everything as detailed as possible. And about Abeloth he asked many questions, but Jacen couldn´t tell him much.

"You been though more than most Jedi in your age." Thorne concluded as Jacens tale finally had reached the point where they met him at the Phaeron.
"I don´t think that I would agree with some of the choices you made but I can understand them. You haven´t told me everything, but what you told me was enough. I say that I wouldn´t have spared you in the end, but I respect your sisters decision." "I wouldn´t have spared me either." Jacen said quietly. Thorne stood up: "Everything you have told me fits with what I know about this events and with the version your friend told me. You´re have fallen into the darkness but you found your way back. You are a Jedi as you said." Jacen stood up, unsure what would happen next. "You have passed the test as Gaven did. I apologize for everything I´ve done to you but I had to be sure that you are not my enemies."

Jacen felt relief floating through him. Gaven wouldn´t die because of him and he had proven that he wasn´t a Sith anymore.
"And Nev?" he asked. "As you both have passed the test I know I can trust her to." He went to the door and Jacen followed him. When they reached it Thorne turned to him:
"I will lead you to Gaven and then I will answer every question you have."

 

Lady Belligerent. I´m glad you like him. In this chapter he tells a bit more about himself.

Seventeen

"Jacen, I knew you would manage it."
Gaven smiled as they left the building they had woken up in. Nev nodded in approval, when they had released her Gaven had explained her the situation. After all the time he had spent in the darkness the sunlight hurt Jacens eyes and he had to close them for a moment. When he managed to open them again, he saw that they were inside of a valley.
It was shaped a bit like the one they had landed before they went to the ruins of the academy. But it was smaller and it wasn´t empty:
A small settlement stood around them, the buildings were made of different materials, Jacen saw houses of durasteel and others built with the same black stone the Phaeron was made of. When he turned around he saw that behind them there was a door inside of the cliffs the door through which they had entered the valley. Thorne walked forward inside the settlement, the people around them, were mostly humans and they wore the same simple clothes like the locals on Learan.
Jacen reached out in the force to them but he could only feel Gaven and Thorne and a third person he didn´t knew.

"They are no Jedi." He pointed out.
"Off course not. I´m the only Jedi here." Throne told him while he greeted some of the locals. Most of them seemed to be interested in the three strangers and looked shyly at them. A little girl approached Thorne and showed him a stone in which she had carved a symbol Jacen didn´t recognized. "I´ve made it for you." She said shy. The old man smiled at her as he took the stone: "Thank you. The creators themselves couldn´t have done it better." The girl smiled and left them.
When they walked further a man spoke to Thorne about his cattle and a pregnant woman asked him about a name for her child. Jacen realized that Thorne must be a respected person among them, maybe even their leader.
But they are no Jedi.

The old man lead them to building that was a bit larger than the others and stood a bit aside at the highest point of the valley. It was build out of a lighter almost white stone which contrasted it even more from the others. It resembled a villa like the ones Jacen had seen on world in the core. A large terrace was laid on the right side of the building, where a young red headed woman trained with a lightsaber.

When she saw Jacen and the others she ended her training and approached them.
"Master Thorne." She greeted the old man with a bow. She turned to the others: "I welcome you here my brothers. I´ve never met other Jedi before." Jacen nodded in approval and Gaven did the same. "Have you finished your practice?" Thorne asked her. "Almost master." "Good then go on while I talk to our guests, you can speak to them later." Thorne told her and she returned to the terrace.

"Is she your apprentice?" Gaven asked him. The old man nodded: "Yes Briala, she has talent but she must learn to focus on her abilities to use it." They entered the building and Thorne lead them upstairs to a balcony where some armchairs stood around a small table with a carafe on it. It reminded Jacen a bit of the room in Nev´s house where they had spent almost a week. But this chairs were harder than Nevs and the carafe was filled with nothing but clear water. Thorne filled four glasses and sat down. Below them they could see Briala continuing her practice. "So, I´ve promised you I would answer your questions. What do you want to know."

For a moment nobody sat a word than Nev asked: "Is this the Jedi enclave?" The old man shook his head: "No, uless you count one Jedi and his apprentice an enclave. There isn´t an enclave on Learan and I don´t think you can find one on the other worlds of this sector. I´ve sent those signals out after the order 66 hoping that other Jedi would recognize them and come here, but I never had thought that it would take sixty three years until one of them came here." He laughed quietly.

"So you sent the distress signal we recorded a few weeks ago?" Gaven asked him. "No, I don´t know where it came from, maybe the Lost Sons send it out to lure Jedi out of their cover. If that's the truth it worries me how this mercenaries got their hands on an old distress Signal of the Jedi." "Do you know from which planet it came?" Nev asked. Thorne nodded: "Yes from Asterian." Jacen remembered the name. It was one of the four planets they had speculated the Jedi academy would be, the world were Gaven fought his last fight against the pirates that killed his family. He threw a look at his friend and Gaven gave him a short nod.

"Who are you? And how did you survive the order 66." Gaven continued. "Well I´m Mako Thorne but since my sixteenth birthday I´ve only used my family name. I was borne on the planet of Serenno as the second child of the house Thorne. But I haven´t any memories of that time as I was recruited into the Jedi order at a very young age. I survived the order here on Learan, as I already lived here when the clone wars started. I´m older than I appear."
"How old are you?"

Jacen asked. "I was born around eighty years before the battle of Yarvin. So I´m over a hundred twenty years old. I´ve spent the last over seventy years here."
Nev looked at him with disbelieving: "How do you managed that?"
The old man smiled: "Well I could say a healthy life, but it's more a strong connection to the force. As far as I know I´m by far not the oldest human Jedi that ever lived." Jacen remembered master Yoda, his uncle had told him that the old master had lived for nine hundred years before he became one with the force.

Jacen suspected that Yoda´s strong bond with the force might have prolonged his life too.
"Why have you lived here all this time?" Jacen asked Thorne:
"I have chosen this place as my exile. When I was a Jedi I had a student, he wasn´t strong but very intelligent. He had a fanatical belief in the force, he believed that there were no good and evil just the force and the Jedi should follow its will. And he claimed that he could hear the voice of the force sometimes. In the end the council saw his madness and tried to imprison him. But somehow he knew about their plan, he killed the Jedi they had sent to arrest him and escaped. As his master I took it upon myself to find him. After almost two years I tracked him down here on Learan, maybe he was searching for the Phaeron and the prophecy.

Together with another Jedi I came here to search for him. But he found us, he killed my friend and attacked me. We fought a long duel during which I tried to convince him to end his madness, but he didn´t care about my words. In the end I managed to beat him. I killed him. When he was dying his madness left him and he thanked me for freeing him from this curse. He died in my arms. I had killed the boy I had raised, because I didn´t see a way to help him out of his madness.
I realized that I had failed as a Jedi, I didn´t wanted to continue this life anymore.
So I decided to leave the order and spend the rest of my life here on Learan, mourning the man I killed.
I buried him here on this hill."

 

Lady Belligerent I´m glad you like them.

Eighteen

For a time nobody said a word. Briala was still training below them and for a time Jacen concentrated on her. Then Thorne continued:
"Since then I´ve stayed here and helped the locals, the Jedi had trained me as a healer and so I could help many of them. And they helped me, they showed me that my life had still a cause."
"They see you as their leader." Gaven pointed out. "That´s not what I desired. But they look up to me and as their leader I can end conflicts among them and give them better advice, so I´ve accepted my position. When the Jedi were destroyed I was desperate because for a time I believed that I was the last survivor of the order. Can you imagine that? Being the last one in a line that reaches back to the first civilizations. I sent out the signals hoping that other Jedi might recognize them and find their way here but the only ones who came where the imperials. While they were here I hid in the mountains, there so many caves there that they never could have found me. They left shortly after their landing and since then Learan hasn´t seen any interesting visitors until you arrived."

"Have you ever thought about returning to the galaxy, to search for other Jedi?" Jacen asked him. Throne shook his head: "No, not because of my exile. When I was a Jedi I was a scholar I studied old myths and legends. And since the archives of the old Jedi were destroyed I´m probably the last one who has knowledge about them. I feared that when I die all this would be lost forever. I know this sounds egoistical but what could I do? I am an old man, even when I don´t look the part."
"But the empire had fallen after Endor." Gaven pointed out. "You must have heard about that."
The old man kept quiet for a moment:

"Yes I heard about it, but I wasn´t sure if I should trust these rumors. It was about fifteen years after the battle of Endor that I met an bounty hunter who was able to gave me clear information. He told me that the empire was largely defeated but still fighting. And that there was a new Jedi order, but also told me that a former hand of the emperor was one of their leaders."
Mara. Jacen shivered for a moment when he remembered his aunt. She had tried to bring him back to the light and when he refused... He had killed her, he had killed the woman who trained his sister, the woman he fought alongside in the Vong war.
"Master, I´ve finished my practice."

Jacen turned around and for a moment he saw a ghost.
Then he realized it was Briala who had finished her training and came up to them. With her red hair and the black sleeveless training suit she resembled his aunt to a frightening degree.
But she was younger, he guessed she couldn´t been older than sixteen or seventeen.
Throne turned to her: "Good, you should clean yourself and change your clothes. That´s all for today, I´ll see you at dinner." She nodded and left the room. Jacen recognized a sad expression on Thornes face when he continued. "I´ve met this woman before, she came to the sector many years after the imperials had left. But she served the same master than they did. She didn´t came to Learan but she drew a bloody track in this sector. I don´t know if she searched for the enclave or was here for another reason, I just know about the people she killed. This lead me to mistrust this new Jedi order. I continued sending the messages out, hoping it would lead another survivor here but that never happened.

As the years passed I thought a lot about leaving and meeting the New Jedi Order anyway but I didn´t want to risk that. I was just one Jedi. So I started to search for a student, someone who could inherit my abilities and my knowledge. I found Briala, she had lived on Tyrek 4 before the pirates that threatened this sector in this time destroyed her village and enslaved her. She was seven years old, I didn´t want to know what would happened to her if I hadn´t bought her and took her as my student. I wished I could have done the same for the others."
He sat there in silence and said nothing for a while and Jacen felt that it still haunted him.
"I began to train her and I hoped I wouldn´t make the same mistakes as before. I planned that after I finished her training I would finally leave this place and met this new jedi order. But the order has met me it seems." He smiled a little. During their conversation Jacen really realized how quiet and soft Thornes voice was, he never spoke loud even when he demanded something. Gaven returned the smile:

"Yes I guess we have. We´ve a long way behind us to find you it's an honor to met a Jedi of the old order."
"The honor is all mine. You are well known in this sector Gaven, I´m glad that you are still the hero you were when you fought against the pirates." Gaven said nothing to this but Jacen knew his friend thought otherwise about this. Thorne stood up: "It´s getting late, I will prepare dinner for us. You are my guests, please stay here, I will send Briala when we are ready."
He left.

A while the three humans sat just there and followed their own thoughts than Gaven asked:
"What do you think about Thorne?" "He is not our enemy. But I´m not sure if he was completely honest with us." Jacen said and Gaven nodded: "Yeah, how he spoke about his apprentice, he said he would mourn him but I got the feeling he is more ashamed than sad about this. And he stayed all this time here on Learan just to preserve some knowledge." Jacen thought about this:

"Maybe but this was seventy years in the past maybe he has moved on. Maybe Learan is now his home, maybe he just wants to live here and ignore what's happening in the galaxy."
"Maybe, but he stills sends the signals on the old codes." Gaven pointed out.
"He is different." Nev said: "I´m no Jedi and you two are the only I´ve ever met, but you have something in common in your appearance. You are warm and friendly. Thorne is more polite, he says what sounds nice and maybe not what he thinks." Jacen nodded: "But the Jedi of the old republic were different my uncle taught me, they followed the code far more strict than we do. They suppressed their emotions, all emotions. And they had a lot more rules than we have, this led in the end to their downfall." "Yeah they were wrong in some things." Gaven added:

"They believed that when a person once served the dark side they could never return, but the living proof that this rule isn´t true at all sits here beside me." Jacen said nothing to this but once again he was thankful for Gavens trust in him.
I won't disappoint him.
"I´ve heard they didn´t allowed their members to have families." Nev added. "This has changed." Jacen assured her and taught for short moment about Allana. Where was she at the moment? "Yes, it has. But I there are still some Jedi that prefer this lifestyle." Gaven explained her. "Like you?" She asked him with a smile.

"No. Well I mean yes, I.. I have a duty I must fulfill as a Jedi." Jacen felt that Gaven felt very insecure by answering Nev this question.
"So you are prohibit yourself finding happiness." The older Jedi gave Jacen an uncomfortable look before he answered: "No I find happiness in helping people around the galaxy, that´s enough for me."
Nev gave him a weird smile and left the topic: "I asked myself why Thorne was on that slave market where he bought Briala in the first place." Gaven shrugged: "I don´t know, maybe I will get a chance to ask him this question during the dinner he spoke about." "And what are your plans?" Jacen asked him. "I guess well will stay a few days here and get to know him and his apprentice a bit better before we decide what to do."

"Agreed" Nev said, Jacen nodded in approval.

 

Lady Belligerent I´m glad you are interested in him.

Nineteen

The sun was sinking behind the western mountains when Briala returned to them:
"The dinner is ready." They stood up and followed the girl through the house down the stairs and into a large room that was lit with several candles. In the middle of it there was a large wooden table surrounded by six chairs. On the table several plates filled with food stood. Thorne already had taken seat at the head of the disk but he stood up as his guests entered.
"There you are. I hope you will enjoy dinner with us." "Of course." Gaven said and all five sat down. Before they started to eat Thorne and Briala turned their heads for a moment to the west and Thorne muttered a few words in a language Jacen didn´t understood. "It´s an old ritual I learned while I traveled the galaxy."

Thorne told them, "We are remembering those who we lost. And we ensure them that we will see them again, one day."
"It´s a good ritual." Gaven pointed out, "Many species have something like that." Thorne nodded. "Indeed but there is no reason to wait longer with the dinner after it. Enjoy the food." Jacen had almost forgotten how hungry he was, but now it returned and he started to eat. The food Thorne and Briala made belonged to the best Jacen had ever eaten in his life. After four years of simple prison rations and the simple food on their travels he really enjoyed it. The meat was spicy but not too much, the vegetables where fresh and the bread was so warm as it could be without burning his fingers. To drink they once again had only cold and clear water.

"This is awesome." Nev told their hosts and Jacen and Gaven nodded in approval. Thorne smiled: "I always enjoyed cooking. It helps me to clear my head of all negative thoughts, you should try it." "Maybe I will," Gaven answered polite, "after spending so much time in the core I really have forgotten how good a hand cooked meal tastes." Jacen took a swallow of his water and left the conversation to Gaven. Thorne smiled: "I know what you mean. But I guess it´s part of the price one must pay to live in the core. I never liked it there. All the lies and the struggle for power, but I had fit into it like any other Jedi." "Did you knew master Yoda?" Gaven asked. "Of course I did, he was my instructor when I was a youngling in the temple. His unique way of speaking sometimes really annoyed me, but he was no doubt the wisest man I ever met. When I was a very young padawan, my master and I once accompanied him and his apprentice Dooku on a mission."

Jacen looked up by this name: "The same Dooku who founded the CIS? Who was the first apprentice of the emperor?" Thorne nodded: "Yes but that was long before he turned. He was years older than me and became a Jedi shortly after this mission. But I always looked up to him, until I learned of his betrayal. You seem to know more about him." Jacen answered: "Yes I do, I´ve spent the last four years in a cell and the only company I had for most of the time where holobooks." For a moment nobody said a word than Briala asked Gaven: "Is it true that you're the man who fought against the pirates in this sector?"

Gaven nodded slowly: "Yes I lead the militia, Nev also fought in this war." Her eyes lightened: "I heard of you, you are a hero. The pirates you fought where the same that killed my family and enslaved me. I´m glad you stopped them before they could hurt even more innocents." Jacen saw how this disturbed Gaven but the older Jedi kept calm: "I wasn´t alone in this fight. In the end the colonists freed themselves, I just helped them a bit." Briala turned to Nev:

"And you fought beside him?" Nev nodded: "Yes Gaven and I have known each other since we were children. I was at his side the whole time." She smiled at Gaven who concentrated on his food. The next two standard hours run very quickly as the others talked about many different events that happened in the sector, Jacen who didn´t know much about this topic asked a few questions and mentioned his opinion if they asked him for it, but he stayed mostly out of their conversation and listened more than he spoke.

He learned that Briala had been a slave for almost a year and what she told about this time let him shiver. "How did it came that you found her there?" Gaven asked Thorne at this point. The old man kept quiet for a moment, then he answered:
"I was visiting on another continent, we had heard rumors about another outbreak of the disease that once killed half of the population of Learan. I went there to prevent the outbreak, but the rumors turned out to be wrong, instead I met the slavers there. And I looked though their captives to not gain unwanted attention. There I found Briala, I felt her connection to the force and bought her.""I´m so glad you saved me that day, master." Briala told him. The conversation continued for a time until they became more and more tired. "I guess we should continue this conversation tomorrow." Thorne told them,

"I hope you will stay here for a few days." Gaven nodded: "That´s what we have planned."

"Great! I will show you yours rooms." Briala told them, Thorne whished them a good night and they followed his student again up the stairs and through a corridor.
They stopped before two doors. "We have two guest rooms. Each has two beds in it, it´s up to you how you share them." Gaven can sleep in my..." Nev started but the older Jedi interrupted her:
"I´m going with Jacen." Jacen realized the disappointment on Nevs face when she entered her room and Gaven followed him. The room was large for a guest room and contained two beds a desk and wooden wardrobe. On one side a door led to another balcony outside, Jacen could hear the sough of water from there. The floor was covered with some heavy carpets.

When they both sat down on a bed Jacen saw the insecurity on Gavens face when the older Jedi spoke: "I think we should stay a few days here to get a better picture of Thorne, or what do you think?" Jacen was a bit confused: "We already spoke about that." Gaven said nothing to this and kept quiet for a moment giving Jacen the chance to continue:
"You love her." Gaven turned to him:
"Who?" Jacen grinned: "Nev of course. I didn´t realized it at first but now I´ve seen it. You are in love with her." "Yes... I mean no of course not I am a Jedi I have a duty. I can´t..." Gaven stumbled. "Be together with her? The code doesn't forbid it to you." Jacen answered. "Maybe not, but I can´t let that happen." "Why? She loves you too and you know that, you both know."

Gaven looked at him sadly. "Because I´m not the man she deserves. I´m a killer, I should spent the rest of my life setting this right." Jacen realized how much this hurt his friend so he decided to help him:
"What do you think is more important to her? The man she deserves or the man she loves? And why should you don´t deserve her? You are a good man, one of the best I´ve ever met. You are noble, honest and you believe in the best in everyone you know. Without you I would be dead right now or even worse Caedus again. Maybe you had a dark past but you honestly wanted to help people and you saved many from the slavers Briala told us about. You have lost your best friend in the Jedi temple but instead of avenging him you have decided to help a man beyond any redemption."

He stopped his speech for a moment while Gaven just stared at him. He saw how the older Jedi managed a wired smile when he continued: "You both deserve each other. You deserve happiness Gaven, more than anyone else I know. And there is a beautifully, strong woman who loves you and you sit here and talk to me."

For a while nobody of them said a word. Than Gaven stood up: "You are right. Of course you are, I was acting like an idiot. I must talk to her, apologize for being so rude." He left the room, at the door he turned around to Jacen: "Thank you, Jacen Solo for telling me the truth." He closed the door behind him and Jacen stayed alone.

He laid himself on the very comfortable bed.
Gaven didn´t return and Jacen fall asleep.

 

This is the first chapter not from Jacens PoV. I added it to get to know at bit more about Gaven.
Let me know what you think about him and Nev as a couple.


Twenty

Gaven closed the door behind him and left Jacen alone in the room. For a moment he doubted. He could simply wait a moment and then return claiming that Nev already wet to sleep.
No!

Jacen was right, he had done this the last eight years and if he was honest even before. It was time to end this lies. He took a deep breath and knocked against Nev´s door. "Yes?" He heard her voice. "It´s me." He answered and managed to keep his voice clear. "Come in." Nev answered an Gaven entered the room, he felt worse than when he entered the Phaeron with Jacen. Nev sat on one of the beds and smiled at him. "Is there something you guys want to tell me?" Gaven sat down on the other bed and didn´t know how to say it: "Well yes, I mean no. I wanted to talk to you." "Is everything alright?" She asked him a bit worried. Gaven took another deep breath and decided to speak it out: "I wanted to apologize for being so rude to you in the last few days."

Nev laughed confused: "You´ve never been rude, you are the nicest man I know. I can understand that you take your duty very serious. It´s okay."
"No it´s not." He felt how he became insecure again. Gaven started to breath quicker and looked at his feet. Nev stood up and sat down at his side resting her hand on his shoulder: "I´m here, what disturbs you so much." He looked up into her face, she looked at him worried. He decided to spit it out: "I love you Nev, I ever have since the time we were children, but I never managed to tell you. I was so focused on fighting the pirates and afterwards I knew that I´m not the man you deserve. I became a Jedi to suppress my feelings for you, I hoped I would never see you again. And on the same time I wished it more than anything." He stopped talking as she took his face into her hands: "I don´t care if you are the man I deserve or not. You are the man I love that´s all what matters."
"I killed her." Gaven muttered.

"The girl in the village, I killed her. I was so angry after she shot you. I wanted to kill her and I did." Nev gave him a sad look: "I always knew this. You haven´t told me but I saw it your eyes. I saw the guilt. I understood why you did it. I would have reacted the same if she had shot you. It´s okay." Tears run over his eyes while he tried to calm himself down. "I love you Nev." He finally managed to say. She smiled at him:

"I love you too Gaven, like you said since we were children." Gaven looked up to her: "I´m sorry I blocked your affection all these years. I should have told you this many years ago. Now it´s probably..." Nev ended his speech as she kissed him. Gaven was surprised at the first moment but then he returned the kiss. Her lips where hot and he had still some tears on his face but he didn´t care. The only thing he cared about were Nevs lips on his. When moved back he felt a bit disappointed. "Well I guess that settles the matter." Nev said with a smile, Gaven nodded and realized that he didn´t felt any guilt about what happened but instead happiness. "Yeah. I´ve finally managed to love the beautiful, strong woman I spent most of my life with." She hit him with a pillow:

"You are an idiot sometimes, you know?" Gaven raised his hand in protecting while he laughed:
"You always did that to me when we were children." She hit him again: "Only when you acted like an idiot." "Maybe I am an idiot and maybe everything I´m doing is wrong, but I know that I will never leave you again." He explained to her. She hugged him smiling: "Of course not. I´m coming with you were ever you go."
This time it was Gaven who kissed her.


Later when they laid next to each other in the bed Gaven spoke out some of his thoughts:
"When we´ve finished our mission Jacen and I will have to return to the galactic alliance. I´m still a Jedi and I don´t want to give that up." She laid her hand on his shoulder like she always did when she wanted to give him strength: "Off course not. As long as you take me with you." "If you want? Sure." He could feel how she smiled: "Jacen mentioned many other Jedi are married too." Gaven turned to her:
"Married?" She laughed: "I was just thinking."

He smiled a bit: "You´re right. Many Jedi are, some to other Jedi of course but not all of them. Corran Horns wife hasn´t the force either." She hit him again with the pillow: "Does that mean I´m weaker than a Jedi woman?" "Of course not. I was just thinking." She laughed. "I´m so glad the Jedi sent you on this mission." Nev told him. "Me too. Jacen is a good man and an even better friend. I´m so glad I can help him. But I´ve come to think that, he is helping me too. He is the reason I´m here now." Gaven answered.

"What do you think will happen to him when we return." She asked him a bit worried. "
I don´t know. I think they will imprison him again like they did before. I will try my best convince them otherwise but I don´t have much to say in the order. Maybe his sister could..."

He decided to think about this later. Now wasn´t the time to think about his sorrows. He was tired and he knew that Nevs was probably even more than him. "I sure we can do something for him." Nev told him and yawned. "Do you remember when we were children and we sleep side by side below the stars sometimes?" He asked her. "Of course I do. I hit you with a pillow when you started to sleep cause I didn´t wanted to stay awake alone." "Will you do the same again today?" She shook her head.
"No I know you are with me even when you sleep."

Gaven couldn´t sleep, not only because he got a pillow in the face when he only tried to close his eyes but also because of the view above him.

The sky of Darvin was so clear like he had never realized it and he could thousands of Stars shining there. In the nine years of his live he had seen this sky millions of times but this time it seemed even more fascinating than before. He looked at Nev who laid at his side and was watching the same sky he saw.
"One day we will travel there." She told him, "To the Stars."
"We will." he assured her. "And you will become a Jedi." She told him with the seriousness a six years old girl had. Gaven remembered the tales his parents told about this old order of heroes who saved the galaxy countless time.

"And you? What will you do?"
He asked her. She thought about this: "I will be there with you." He smiled while he looked at some stars that laid closer together than the most. He imagined himself with a blade of pure energy in his hands fighting against faceless enemies. Nev was by his side as always and together no one could stop them. The boy smiled at the stars and he asked himself what laid behind them. How the other worlds looked his and Nevs parents spoke about. About the Jedi whom they had told him where all dead, but some of travelers had believed in their return. Maybe he would go there one day and find it out. Maybe he even could become one of them and fight at their side to save the galaxy.

Nev´s pillow hit him in the face: "What was that for?" He asked her. She looked at him serious.
"Will you take me with you when you travel across the stars to become a Jedi?" He smiled: "Yes I will. But only if you don´t hit me anymore." "I promise." She told him. "As I do." He answered.
The two friends laid there for a long time with the galaxy above them and talked about the adventures waiting for them.

Far away from Darvin at the core of the galaxy, two children were born. A boy and a girl and with them a new generations of Jedi.

 

Lady Belligerent, I glad you like them together, there will be more in the future.

Twenty-one

Jacen stood inside of his cell, like every day since they imprisoned him there and he regained the ability to stand.
In the first days all what he was able to had been lying on the bed an starring at the ceiling until the sleep overcame him. He had cried almost the entire time, even after all tears had left him. He didn´t know how he finally managed to leave his bed. He didn´t remember much of this time, he wasn´t even sure how much time had passed. He had lost the track of how many "days" and "nights" had passed a long time ago.
Sometimes he asked himself if he had been here for ten years or even longer. It had been a long time since his last visitor who wasn´t his sister and so he wasn´t surprised when he saw Jaina coming into the room through the opened door. He wasn´t sure how much time it had been since their last meeting. He guess it to be some weeks but it could also have been a few years. "Jaina." he spoke and his voice displayed his weakness. His sister sat down before his cell and looked at him: "How are you doing?" "I thought a lot in the last few weeks. There was little else to do." She looked at him and he felt how she sensed him through the force.

He let it happen, even if he wanted to he was too weak to resist. Jaina took her time and nobody of them spoke during it. "You aren´t as disturbed as you were last time." She pointed out after she finished. "No, you were right, I should spent my time here as the person I am and not the one I was."
For a short moment Jacen believed to see a little smile on his sisters face but it disappeared quickly. Jacen sat himself down and shivered for a moment. There was something he wanted to tell her but at the same time he feared doing so. He took a deep breath and started: "I´ve told you about the vision that lead me to spare Lumya, about the galactic war?" Of course he did, although it had cost him a lot of his strength. Jaina nodded:
"Yeah, you did."

"There had been another..."
His voice cracked as he tried to say it. Jaina looked up: "Another vision?"
He nodded weak. Then he told her about Allana and the dark man, about how he saw his daughter enslaved by him. After the first sentences he started to cry and he kept crying while he told it to her. And about the vision he had shortly before their fight. Jaina listened to him and tried her best to display no emotions. But Jacen saw how it disturbed her. After he finished he collapsed against the transparisteel and continued crying.
A long time Jaina said nothing. Than after Jacen had finally calmed himself down a bit she spoke: "So you did this for Allana?" Jacen nodded while more tears ran over his eyes.
He had slaughtered millions for the sake of one girl, for the sake of his daughter. Jaina stood up and walked to him putting her hand against the transparisteel: "I knew there was still something of my brother in this monster. So it was the love for Allana that brought you to the dark side but it also turned you back."

"I´m not Jacen Solo." he muttered, "Jacen Solo died long ago." Jaina looked at him in sadness:
"I don´t believe this. There is still good inside you." For a short moment Jacen almost wanted to smile, his sister had always been stubborn.
"I´ve destroyed what was good inside me and you what was evil. There is nothing left." He said more to himself. Jaina shook her head:
"Not for me. For me my brother lives on." He raised his head and felt sad about her kindness, but he also felt something different hope. The hope that Jaina might have been right, at least a little bit. She still loved him and he knew he loved her too, she was his sister. When he looked into her brown eyes he felt something for a moment, just for a short moment.
A feeling that he had believed to have lost long ago, for a glimpse Jacen could feel their twin bond again.

Jacen awoke and was somehow surprised that Gaven didn´t stand above him.
This time he hadn´t shivered he just laid there and missed his sister. He asked himself how she would react when they would met again. She had been much kinder to him than he had ever deserved and she still saw him as her brother. And he? He loved her, he even loved his parents and his daughter although he knew that he didn´t deserved theirs.

Jacen stood up, he saw that Gavens bed wasn´t disturbed so the older Jedi hadn´t returned during the night. Jacen wasn´t surprised. He left the room and knocked against the door of Nev´s room, as nobody answered he opened it. The room was empty but Jacen assumed that they must have gotten up already.

He walked the corridor back though which they had come here until he heard someone talking. He recognized Gaven and followed the voice of his friend. Jacen found Gaven and Nev in the main room where they had dinner yesterday evening, where they were eating breakfast with Thorne and Briala. He stayed at the entrance of the room as Thorne asked:
"So this Barabel is really a part of the Jedi council?" something told Jacen to stay out of sight while the older Jedi answered, he had the feeling that Thorne would maybe tell Gaven more than he told him:
"Yes she is." "After she murdered the acting grandmaster?" Jacen took a few steps back as Gaven sighted:
"Not only that, she usurped his position."

Thorn looked at him in disbelieve: "So you tell me that alone in the last few years this order deposed a dictator only to replace him with a probably even worse woman, put an poor girl on a trail that will likely end in her death and supported the murder of one of their leading members and voted his murderer to their new leader? That´s worse than I imagined." Briala also looked disturbed by this.
"What would you have done in their place?" Nev asked him. Thorne thought about it for a moment: "Well I would have declared Tahiri for dead like Jacen, I would have tried to help her instead of throwing her to the wolves. Both of them have been through so much. The order as a whole should have taken responsibility. Not blame two young humans for everything."
"So you would have pardoned them?" Nev asked. Thorne gridded this teeth: "I haven´t said that, I would have tried to help them and then I would have imprisoned them for their crimes. But not in a public court."

"So you blame the order?" Gaven replied Thorne shook his head: "No, not completely. But their actions were wrong as were Jacen´s. They sent him and his friends into a murderous war, he must have seen dreadful things there while he was almost a child. Seeing how friends and brothers die breaks everyone of us. But when they defeated the Vong the next enemy rose against them. I won´t blame Jacen for what he became, that he tried to put an end on the wars. He just took the wrong way, like so many before him." Nobody sat a word for the next time, than Jacen entered the room:
"How old was your apprentice when you send him into the war."
Thorne turned to him and Jacen saw a great sadness in his eyes:
"Even younger than you were."

BTW: The war Thorne metions at the end is the mandlorian civil war, especally the battle of Galidraan:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Battle_of_Galidraan

 

One: Possibly tackling a redemption tale for Jacen I like it. I like your feel in presentation.

 

@Cushing´s Admirer I´m glad you like my idea. I always thought Jacen should get a chance for redemption.

Lady Belligerent, As always I´m glad you enjoy the story so far. Yeah Thorne has a different mentality than the Jedi of the new republic, this will lead to some conflict later on. I also was shocked that Saba get away with killing Hamner and even got his Position for it.

Twenty -Two

They finished their breakfast in silence, Jacen thought about what he heard and if Thorne might have known that he was listening to them the whole time.
He had felt how much sadness had come over their host while he had talked. Jacen knew that Thorne´s feelings where real but he wasn´t sure how they fitted with the serious and calm person he had though Thorne before. He asked himself if Thorne had been honest when he told him that he would have killed Jacen in Jaina´s place.

The comments Thorne had made against Daala seemed to imply that he despised her, but why was he so forgiving with Jacen? After finishing their meal Thorne stood up: "I think you want your weapons back." Gaven nodded. They followed the old man into a nearby room where another large wooden desk, like the one in the main room stood. On it Jacen saw two light sabers and Nev´s and his blasters. Gaven and Nev took their weapons but Jacen wasn´t sure if he should take the blaster. He didn´t liked the weapon and it felt wrong to him to use it. "Whose lightsaber is this?" Gaven asked Thorne.
The old man looked sad for a moment: "It was the weapon of the Jedi that traveled with me to Learan. My student killed him, I´ve buried him here but kept his lightsaber." He looked at Jacen, "If you want you can take it, I´m sure my friend would be okay with it." A lightsaber. The last time he used one was one the Anakin Solo, where he almost killed his sister, where he almost died himself. The Jedi had taken it away from him, like Luke took his old lightsaber before. He didn´t wanted to take another one, but on the other hand he had decided to be a jedi again and both Thorne and Gaven had addressed him as one. Every Jedi wore a lightsaber, it was more than a weapon it was a symbol.

He felt Gavens hand on his shoulder: "You should take it. Something tells me you will need it before this is over. You are a Jedi." Jacen thought about this for a moment, a part of him didn´t wanted to use the weapon of another Jedi but he knew that his long dead brother would be glad to pass his blade down to another Jedi. Maybe it meant something, he had lost Jacen Solo´s lightsaber and Caedus, it was time to move on. He took the weapon and for a short moment he had the feeling that it´s dead owner accepted it. I will use your weapon for the sake of the galaxy, brother. "Thanks master Thorne." Jacen said and the old man smiled: "I´m glad I could help you."
He turned to the door:

"I´m sorry to leave you, but there are patients I must take care of. The pregnant woman will be come down today I think. Briala will take care of you while I´m away."

He left and Briala entered the room: "If there is anything I can do for you?" "No, but thanks I guess we are good at the moment." Gaven answered, Jacen could feel how Briala admired him and Nev.
"You look as if you want to ask me a question." Gaven said to her with a warm smile. She nodded a bit shy. They returned to the balcony and sat down on. For a moment nobody said a word but after Nev gave her a nod Briala started: "I always wanted to meet you. You have freed my people from the slavery and ended the terror of the pirates."

"I told you I wasn´t alone in this." Gaven answered friendly,
"I just helped the people freeing themselves." "You did more than that."
Nev told them. Gaven looked at her a bit irritated. Jacen noticed that something had changed between his friends, Gaven and Nev felt happier.
"Is it true that you infiltrated a slave mine once and liberated it all by yourself?" Briala asked Gaven. The older Jedi sighted: "Yes, well I broke into it and freed some of the slaves held there, they did the rest mostly on their own." Nev laughed: "I think we have two memories of the same incident. He killed most of the guards there before he liberated the slaves, with nothing but a vibro knife."
Gaven sighed again: "It was only about ten men and most of them were drunk."
"Only ten men?"

Jacen asked. Gaven sighed again, while Nev answered: "Yeah, not that much, once he..."
"Please, you don´t have to tell this story."
Nev laughed but didn´t go any further.
"I've heard that you two once survived being chased by two hundred men." This time it was Nev who lessened it: "It was more like thirty scouts and we didn´t kill most of them."
Their talk continued for almost two hours while Gaven and Nev answered Braila's questions. Jacen learned a bit more about his friends and was surprised how much the myths had glorified him.
He asked himself how the common people of the galaxy had viewed him in the time he was a hero for them.

Had they told similar stories? Later Gaven stood up and turned to him:
"Would you like to get used to it a bit?" He pointed at Jacens lightsaber. "You want to fight?" The older Jedi shrugged: "Just a bit training."

"I would love to see this." Nev told them. Jacen nodded slowly: "I guess it can´t hurt." They left the balcony and walked to the terrace Briala had practiced yesterday. The two woman sat down to look at them while Jacen and Gaven reduced the energy of their blades. His new weapon was a bit different from the ones he used before but not too much. When he activated the blade he saw that it had almost the same green color like his first lightsaber.

"I anything happens, if you're feeling uncomfortable, please tell me." Gaven told him and Jacen nodded.

He used a very common attack against Gaven, the older managed to block. Jacen jumped back to avoid getting hit by Gaven´s next attacks and raised his blade for his answer. The time in his cell has robbed him a great deal of his skill Jacen realized as he barely managed to defect the next two attacks. Gaven was strong but Jacen knew that in his prime he had beaten the older jedi without much effort, but now he could barely hold himself.

He didn´t react to the next hit in time and Gaven stopped the blade a shortly above his right shoulder. Jacen nodded to his friend and they continued the fight. He had no chance, had this been a real fight Gaven would have destroyed him so many times he managto overcome him. Every time he offered Jacen to end the fight but Jacen declined, he wanted to beat Gaven at least one time, but he didn´t managed it.

After hours, at least he believed it to be hours they ended the fight. Gaven had "killed" him almost a hundred times, while Jacen never even had the chance to wound him. He felt a bit like a student on his first day at the academy. Once he and Jaina had been the best swordfighters in the order but the loss of his arm and the four years in his cell had robbed him his skills.

He assumed that he wouldn´t be able to block blaster bolts any more. He felt useless when he sat down next to Gaven. "I guess my sword fighting days are over. It would take years to regain my skills." Gaven nodded slowly: "Maybe, but you are a Jedi, the force is still with you." "I guess I´ve lost a lot of that too." Jacen said to him. He knew his connection to the force was much weaker than before, when he was a child he was able to feel any living creature around him, now he just felt the stronger presences of Gaven and the two woman who were talking behind them. He didn´t even felt the villagers.
Then he realized something: "The dark side. I can´t feel it." Since they entered the phaeron he had felt nothing of the darkness that laid on Learan.

Gaven nodded: "Yeah it isn´t here. I asked Thorne about it this morning. He assumes that´s because he lives here that long." That made sense, Thorne had spent the last eighty years in this valley and two Jedi were buried here. In this time a lot could change. Gaven seemed to sense how Jacen felt and told him:
"You have a hard time behind you. Of course you aren´t as strong as before but maybe you will find another way to be a Jedi." "I guess they will put me back into my cell anyway." Gaven said nothing for a moment before he answered:
"Maybe, but I will try my best to prevent that."

 

Lady Belligerent He will defenetly do his best. And I guess he isn´t alone with that...

Twenty-Three

They spent the rest of the day at the terrace and watched Briala practicing her lightsaber skills.
Jacen recognized some of the styles she used but some were unknown to him.
Despite that he realized that Briala was an excellent swordfighter, she made very few mistakes and her concentration was stronger than most Jedi of the new order possessed. She was also stronger than most of the other Jedi he knew that reminded him of Tenel Ka.

He felt saddened when he thought about her and for a moment he remembered the moment during the battle of Kashyyyk when he realized that she had left him. He felt the pain of that moment but he also knew that it was the right decision she had made then. For a moment he thought about Allana, about how much she had admired him, before she had seen the truth. He could almost hear her voice for a moment.
"Jedi Jacen!"

It had been one of the happiest moments of his life. Jacen wondered, would his daughter ever learn that he was alive?
What would she think about him now? From the few things he heard he knew that his parents had taken care of her after the war. And she had told her how evil her father had been. He felt shame inside him, his daughter thought of him as a monster and even worse she was right with that. He started to cry as he thought of her and he felt despair overcoming him again. His daughter hated him and it was his fault, he wished he never had seen the vision that had lead him to fall into the darkness.
Gaven laid his hand on Jacen shoulder: "What makes you sad Jacen? Is there a way I can help you? "
Jacen shook his head:
"She hates me." He muttered.

"Allana?" Gaven asked softly. Jacen nodded sobbingly. "Do you think that? She is your daughter, she was sad when she learned you died. She still misses you."
"They have told her the truth. She know what I did." Jacen´s despair grew as he spoke.
"They have, but they are sad too." Gaven answered. "They hate me!" Jacen shouted, "My parents, and they are right to do so. Their sons died long ago."

"They don´t hate you. At least not any more. They deny you, yes. But they are sad what you have become, what their son has become. They have thought this to Allana not because they want her to hate you but to show her that even the best among us can fall." "I´m not the best, I never was." Jacen answered. Gaven sighed: "Maybe not but many looked up to you. You saved the galaxy, you became one with the force if the stories are true. You were a hero but even heroes can fall, but you have returned and one day your daughter will see that." "I did it for her." Jacen muttered so quiet that only Gaven could hear him.

"I did everything for her." For the first time since Jacen meet him Gaven was confused: "What do you mean?" "I had a vision of a galactic war, yes but that´s not the reason why I turned to the dark side." Gaven looked at him, shocked utterly confused. Jacen looked around him, Briala had stopped her training and was talking to Nev, the two women wandered slowly down the path to the village.
"I had another vision." He told Gaven still shivering.

Like the time before when he told Jaina about what he had seen Jacen cried the whole time while he talked. He told Gaven everything, how he learned about the throne of balance and from the visions he saw of it. After he finished Gaven kept quiet for a long time and Jacen felt how his friend thought about the things he had told him. When he finally started to speak his voice was friendly:

"All what you told me sounds weird to me, I don´t know anything about the mysteries of the force or the throne of balance. I´m just a boy from Darvin who stumbled into all this. I don´t know how I would have reacted in your place but I can understand why you did this. I´ve I had children I would do anything to protect them, that´s the reason I never wanted to have a family, my duty as a Jedi was more important to me. But I was wrong with that, I love Nev and I won´t deny it any more. You said the love for Allana drove you into the darkness? That´s a better reason most Sith had. You were prepared to sacrifice anything for Allana, your live, your reputation, even your soul. That´s admirable, wrong but admirable."

Jacen laughed bitterly: "There is nothing admirable in a man who slaughters millions for the sake of his daughter." "Caedus did that." Gaven replied. "Yes but I let him. I believed he could protect her."
"But your love for Allana has also brought you back from the dark side, you have become Jacen Solo again and saved her, she knows this."

Jacen didn´t reply at first while he thought about what Gaven had told him.
"Have you met her?" Gaven nodded: "Yes I have twice since the war, the first time I didn´t know how she really was although I had the feeling that she was more than just an orphaned girl your parents had adopted. She seemed very happy to me. The second time was shortly before I went to meet you, this time I knew who she really was. She is a wonderful person, you can be proud."

Jacen managed an insecure smile: "I guess she takes more about her mother than after me."
Gaven laughed, but then he became serious again: "I won´t say that, you remind me of her sometimes. She has a great love for animals and is very friendly to everyone, but like you she has a very thoughtful personality and fears to do the wrong things." "Like I did?" Jacen asked. "Well I won´t deny that your parents have taught her that and that she fears becoming like you. But deep in her hearth she loves you."

Jacen was curious how Gaven could know all this things but decided not to ask him further. "I just fear it can become too much for her." Gaven muttered after a while. Jacen turned to him: "How do you mean this?" "She is the latest child of a family of heroes, she has the potential to become a great Jedi and she will become queen of Hapes one day. And if your vision is in fact true she might reach godhood as well. I wouldn´t wish that to anyone."

Jacen didn´t knew how to answer to this but he guessed Gaven was right with his worries. He and his siblings had grown up under similar circumstances and what happened to them? Anakin was dead, Jaina had almost fallen to the dark side and he had become a Sith. He shivered when he thought about what Allana´s future might provide. Then he remembered something:

"Do you think Allana will be also a part in the prophecy we found in the phaeron?" Gaven starred down in the valley while he answered: "I´ve already thought about this, you said you had a vision of an endless war that destroyed the galaxy. This final war mentioned in the last part could hint to this. But you have said you changed the vision with your deeds, so maybe the prophecy wouldn´t fulfill itself anymore." Jacen thought about it for a moment: "I don´t think so, if we assume that the prophecy truly spoke of me becoming Caedus than I haven´t changed it, but instead supported it."

Gaven nodded: "You´re right. But you said you had a vision of Allana among a peaceful galaxy shortly before your duel." Jacen shrugged: "I´m not sure how much of this was real or not. And when I had the vision I saw something else." "What have you seen?" "I´ve seen that Jaina would kill me and I knew that it was supposed to happen. Fate foresaw me dying on the Anakin Solo." "You mean, you knew you would die?" Jacen nodded slowly. "Yes, I saw her killing me and that the galaxy would become a better place eventually. But it wasn´t the first time I heard about this, when the Vong had captured me after the mission to Mykr I learned about a prophecy that basically Jaina and I would fight against each other one day and one of us has to slay the other." "But Jaina has spared you." Jacen nodded again: "She has, Jaina was always stubborn." He managed a smile:

"Maybe we can change our fate Gaven, maybe none of what I´ve seen will ever happen. We can´t see the future, nobody can."
"You have become wiser than you have been I guess. But as I said I´m just a boy from Darvin. I don´t understand much of this and I certainly can´t see what the future offers to us, but you are my friend and I will stand with you whatever comes."

 

Lady Belligerent, I´m always trying to integrate my stories as good as possible into the exsiting canon. I´m glad you like my ideas.

Twenty-four

Gaven and Jacen sat next to each other in silence. Gaven´s thoughts ran through his mind, what Jacen had told disturbed him.
He asked himself if Jacen had told anyone about that before, if so the Jedi hadn´t informed him about it. How do I could get into all this! This is too much for me, I´m not the son of heroes gifted like no one else, trained by the greatest masters in the order. I´m just a man from Darvin, I´m nothing compared to them.

He started to calm himself down, he was a Jedi and Jacen was his friend. He would just do what he had done since he became a Jedi, help the galaxy.
And, he smiled about this, Nev was by his side again, there was nothing they couldn´t do when they were together.

He concentrated on the present, there was still a mission for him. He thought about everything he had learned about Thorne in the last two days. The old man had always been nice to them and Gaven had recognized the sympathy Thorne had for Jacen, although he wasn´t sure why. Thorne seemed to be a follower of the old Jedi doctrines and his comments on the new order had only underlined that for Gaven. Why did Thorne displayed sympathy for Jacen and Tahiri while he condemned Saba for her actions. Not that Gaven didn´t share his opinion on the Barabel but still... He tried to concentrate, Nev was talking to Briala like they had decided this morning, maybe she could find out some more.
Gaven believed that Thorne was in fact a Jedi and not their enemy but he was sure the old man was hiding something from them. The question was if he did this with bad or good intentions. He left his thoughts as the old man approached them, Nev and Briala followed him. Gaven stood up and Jacen did the same.

"Have you enjoyed the afternoon?" Thorne asked them with his soft voice.
Gaven nodded: "We have, thanks for your hospitality." Thorne smiled: "Your welcome. You are Jedi like I am, we are brothers." Are we? Or do you want me to think that? Thorne and Briala entered the house to prepare food for them while the three other stayed outside. "Have you heard something from Briala?"

Gaven asked Nev, she smiled: "She idolizes you. Thorne is a strict but fair master and he has taught her a lot. He also helped the mother to bear her child, we visited them while you were talking. He was very friendly to the mother and her husband, they told me he helps everyone who needs his help."
Gaven nodded slowly, that made sense and ensured him that Thorne was a Jedi.
Why was he even so suspicious? Thorne had treated them friendly and while some of his ideals seemedtoo strict, Gaven understood them.
They stayed outside for a while and discussed a bit about Thorne until Briala called them in.

They entered the main room and sat down around the table. Before they started to eat Throne and Briala spoke once again the prayer in the language he didn´t understand.
Gaven used the moment to think of his own family and of the friends he had lost. For a short moment he returned to the Jedi temple, he saw how the Barabel threw Hamner from the platform and how his friend died.

He felt his anger inside him for a moment but he drove it out. Hamner had died doing what was right, he wouldn´t like his friend turning to the dark side because of it. He had said this to himself in the night after Kenth´s death, when he stood before Saba´s quarters with his lightsaber in his hand.
He returned to the present and realized that the others had already started to eat. He joined them and for a time nobody said a word, than Briala turned to Jacen, maybe the first time since they were here.
"I would like to hear something about your Jedi training. If you want to tell me a bit of course. Jacen whose mood had become better at the end of their conversation answered her. He told her how he and his sister where trained at Luke Skywalker´s Jedi academy on Yarvin 4. Gaven who had never seen the academy himself, as it was destroyed by the Vong, and the others listened interested.

Gaven felt that it wasn´t always easy for his friend to retell this events, he never said much about Tenel Ka and left her out most of the time. When he finished Thorne nodded to him: "It´s interesting how much the Jedi have changed since the old republic. I cannot say I approve of all changes they made but some seem quite reasonable."
He made a pause before continuing:

"When I was a padawan I spent much time on corusant, during one of our missions my master had been heavily wounded and he stayed at the med center in the Jedi temple for almost half a year. During this time I ran some errands for the council but I had also much time to explore this city. I even risked to go into the slums, just to see what is there. I was a curious young Jedi then.
During one of my expeditions in the deep I stumbled across a hawk-bat.

One of the wild species that inhabit Corusant, it was a very young one. And it had a broken wing, I´m an empathic force user and so I felt the pain of the creature. And I felt pity for it, so much that I decided to take it with me to the temple, a wild animal. On the entire way back I calmed the hawk down in the force.

It was hard to be confronted with so much pain but I wanted to help the creature. When we finally reached the temple I had to smuggle my new pet into it. It was allowed for a padawan to have a pet but their master had to approve it and I doubted they would approve a hawk-bat, they are very aggressive. So I brought it into my room and realized then I had no idea how I should heal it. My master had taught me some force healing techniques but I was still very unused to them. I could calm the hawk down but I couldn´t heal it. I tried to fix the broken bones with the force but that hurt the poor animal even more. The next day's became very hard for me.

I had to kept the Hawk-bat inside of my room without alerting someone else of its presence. I don´t know who I managed it but I did, I barely slept and felt the pain of the creature the whole time, and I felt pity for it. I the end when I finally managed to get the Hawk to sleep I went to the med center and stole some bacta. I returned and tended the broken wing with it.

But it was too late, the bacta healed the wounds and ended the hawks pain but the wing never fully healed. After two days I brought the hawk back to deeper regions of corusant where they live. But then I realized that the creature couldn´t fly anymore and was helpless. I knew it would die in a few days so I build a sheltered nest for it and started to bring food from the Jedi temple to feed it. I did this for weeks and the other Jedi became suspicious. I feared they would cast me out of the order when they learned what I was doing, but I had felt the desperation of the hawk-bat. I still hoped that I would find a way to fix the wing and heal the creature completely.

Then after weeks of secrets my master had finally recovered and he soon learned that I had a secret. He confronted me about it and I wasn´t able to lie to him, so I brought him to the nest I had created.
My master scolded me for what I had done, he told me that there was no way to heal the hawk-bat completely and I had to accept this. But I kept stubborn and told him that I would fix the wing eventually. We had an harsh argument about this, in the end my master told me that the hawk-bat couldn´t survive alone, that he would either died without food or be eaten by other predators. I tried to argue against him but he refused to hear.

Instead he gave me the order to kill the hawk to end its suffering. If I would refuse he said he would kill the hawk himself and ban me from the jedi order.
And I killed the hawk, I didn´t want this but I knew I had to, there was no other way to go for me.
I killed the animal I had cared about for months. I cried to whole time during it and I felt how the hawk died in the force. My master wanted to teach me that there are things and persons who are so broken that no one can heal them.
But I don´t think this is true, everyone can be saved we just have to continue trying it."