Before - Legends Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - thanks so much, everyone!

He gave me his typical non-useful response. "Patience, Obi-Wan. The Force will guide us."

Sure it will. Personally, I think the Force was laughing at us again. But I kept silent. We had enough problems.

I love that you did this from Obi-Wan's POV. Poor boy is going to need serious counseling when he gets back to the Temple.

 

If I quoted the best part - I'd quote the entire thing!

Loved Obi-Wan's horrified thoughts - the PM talking to his daughter - and the antidote.

 

ratna ? LOL. No, not every woman on the planet but every woman he's had contact with during this whole mess. I'm sure his lips will need moisturizer by the time he's done!


Magier ? LOL. I think if he went back to the Temple, there would be a riot. Oh, dear, a gaggle of Force-wielding crazy Jedi women. Not good!

Yes, Obi-Wan may need help by the time this is over. He's already having problems with a few women kissing his master but a hundred. That may push him over the edge.

Besides, I think the Force really is laughing at them! Thanks.



Fifilla ? thanks. I loved that line. I could just picture this old woman longing to kiss this 'young' Jedi master. Dirty old woman! Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.


jedidas3 ? Thanks Padawan. I was writing this in the car on my trip. My kids were looking over my shoulder and laughing. LOL.

You should feel sorry for them both ? Qui-Gon isn't exactly clear-headed at the moment and Obi-Wan grows more horrified the longer this takes. Thanks.


VaderLVR64 ? No, the line forms behind me. LOL. Glad you liked the grandmother lusting after the 'young' Qui-Gon.


kma ? Qui-Gon certainly has his hands full. Obi-Wan is going to need therapy after this mission! As for the cure, you'll just have to see. Thanks.


Veloz ? Yes, the grandmother is interested, too. She may be old but she's still feisty! LOL.

I think at this point, Obi-Wan would prefer a mind wipe! LOL. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.


KELIA ? I think you should feel sorry for Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon isn't really protesting too hard. LOL. He might even be enjoying himself just a tad. The PM might need some therapy after this, especially dealing with his mother and that Erelia. LOL. Glad you liked it.


Master_Noi ? LOL. A second kiss. I'd certainly be lining up a second time and a third. Thanks.


Itachi-Uchiha ? I did really enjoy telling it from Obi's POV. He's such a sweet, naïve kid! Therapy for sure! Thanks.


Leona ? I think the Force is laughing at them, too. LOL. Yes, Qui has to kiss every one of the crazy women. It's a hard job but someone has to do it! Thanks for reading.


Valairy_Scot ? LOL. Glad you enjoyed it. I had fun coming up with the antidote and believe me, I know I'd be first in line to get it. And again and again.

 

Just to let you all know. I'll be on vacation again as of Wed. I don't know if I'll have time to write anything else before then. Enjoy!

---

I was horrified. This couldn't be happening. Was she saying that Qui-Gon would have to kiss everyone who had been chasing them, all the women covered in desserts and liquids and the remains of fruit and the ones waiting outside? All those rabid, out-of-control females? This was insane.

Of course, my master wouldn't act like it was insane or even out of the ordinary. Certainly not. He would be his calm, stoic self in front of the Prime Minister and do whatever needed to be done in order to smooth over this disaster.

Considering that he'd been a Jedi Master for many years, I was sure he'd be able to talk his way out of this situation. After all, he'd been able to get the Jedi Council to back down before and they could be pretty stubborn. So this should be no problem for him.

Glancing over at Qui-Gon, I could see that he was composed, resigned, standing there so solemn and still, just as I had expected. But there was something else - a gleam in his eyes, almost a hunger that I hadn't seen before. It was very odd.

If I didn't know better, I would have said that he was looking forward to kissing a bunch of women? or maybe even something else, something more embarrassing. After all, Lady Erelia said that it was a mild aphrodisiac. Would it be more intense with the large dose that she used? Would he be feeling the effects even now? Would he possibly be thinking about more than just kissing? Surely, he wouldn't want to do that, not my old master. Or would he?

My head was whirling with ideas, depraved images of women wanting my master and him wading into the crowd, giving into the moment, feeling and definitely not thinking as the crazed females surrounded him. And somehow, I was on the outside of the mob, unable to help.

Would this be my master's fate? Kissing women for the rest of his life? I shuddered at the thought.

Somehow, I managed to shake myself free of some of my fears and calm down just in time to hear Qui-Gon say softly, "Lady Erelia, are you sure that more physical expressions of intimacy aren't required? The reactions of the women were quite strong in some cases."

And my brain exploded even as I broke into a cold sweat. My worst fears were about to come true.

I would never live this down; we would never live this down. Somehow it would get back to the Temple and we'd be branded as rogues forever - my woman-mad master and me, the permanently-embarrassed padawan.

The Force was laughing at us again.

I think my mouth was hanging open but one quick frown from my master and I closed it, straightening up, turning my attention back to Erelia. I'd have to have a long talk with him later. Maybe. If I didn't die of mortification first.

Lady Erelia's smile was predatory. Apparently eager to make him squirm, she gave a strident laugh. "Are you hoping for more, Qui-Gon? I thought you Jedi were celibate monks or so you would have me believe. Or did you lie about that?"

Before my master could say anything else, the Prime Minister glared daggers at her, hissing out, "Erelia!"

"All right, Father, all right." Shrugging, she growled out, "You just have to kiss them. Maybe you'll have to kiss them pretty hard and use some?" She slowed to a halt as her father cleared his throat.

The man was livid. "Are you lying about this? Because if you are, I'll let the women who have been humiliated by this debacle take it out on your hide." As he looked toward the viewscreen and then away again, he said, "And I won't lift a finger to stop them. Do you understand?"

Petulant but clearly startled by her father's words, Erelia whined, "I'm not lying. I found out a while back. It has something to do with antimonies or antibodies or something else completely anti. It doesn't hurt anyone... usually. Most of the time they enjoy it. And there are no lasting effects."

Glaring plasma bolts at her, Sir Zadros said, "So he has to kiss a hundred women or so, in

 

Obi-Wan is so right! The Force is laughing at them! What a hilarious picture that you painted. I can just see Obi's embarrassment at Qui's predicament. Great job, Master and welcome back!

Wonderful job!

 

My face flamed at the idea of watching them kissing but if Master Qui-Gon asked for my help, I could do nothing else but say, "Of course, Master."

Qui-Gon smiled and started to walk toward the captain's cabin when something struck me as odd. Did my master just say that the captain could succeed, that he would kiss her just to break the spell but that she might want more? That she had a chance to ravish my master and that he'd let her?

"Master, did you?." I blurted out, "did you say she could succeed? You aren?t thinking of having?ummm intimate contact with Captain Antilles, are you?"

Master Qui-Gon stopped abruptly, stood there silent and formidable, looking down into my scandalized eyes. I knew that I'd stepped over the boundary again - I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and I wished that I'd never said anything. What he did was his own business and none of mine. Besides, the Code said that a padawan should not question his master.

But the Code never covered this.

"You are old enough to realize that I am a Jedi but I am also a man." He sent me just the hint of a smile. "Celibacy is not one of the Order's requirements, young one."

I didn't think my face could get any hotter but I was wrong. I wanted to sink into the ground and vanish with embarrassment.

"However, a hundred women or so is a little beyond my capacity at the moment."

Oh dear... too bad Obi-Wan is not just a bit older - he'd appreciate it far more - and be embarrassed a lot less - that would totally funny in whole another sort of way.

 

My favorite part is Obi-Wan listing Master Yoda's gimer stick with draigons and Togorian pirates among the dangers that he's faced.

 

So, after all this, will Erelia get a kiss?

 

Would this be my master's fate? Kissing women for the rest of his life?

Ah, the women of the Galaxy can only hope

"You know, Master Jinn, you're a good-looking man. I don't think you need an attractant to get women. And you're not a bad kisser, either. Next time though, maybe you should just ask me. But lose the kid when you do. It sets a bad example. I do better one-on-one."



Leave it to Antilles to think he did it on purpose.

The trip to the PM's house ought to be very interesting indeed. The poor man probably won't survive if his daughter and mother starting fighting over who gets to kiss Qui-Gon first, though.

Great update

 

Hilarious! I fall in more in love with this story with every post!

I was looking back to make sure everything was okay and I'm sorry I did. People look silly when they go to kiss someone. Master Qui-Gon had his eyes open at first and then closed them as he reached the woman's face. As far as I could tell, his mouth was slightly open as he pressed in. I bet the women liked it but I don't think it's very sanitary.

All I know is that I'm never going to kiss anyone like that... ever.

From my location, I could hear the female give a pleased little sigh. As I glanced back, my master whispered something to her and she turned around and started down the ramp, humming under her breath, a huge smile on her face, a happy woman.

One down and ninety-nine or so to go.

 

Very funny. I bet Obi-Wan has some questions on the trip back home, since his master was kind enough to tell him that Jedi weren't celibate.

 

Again lot of fun to read in the morning. Qui-Gon will be tired after: One down and ninety-nine or so to go.
He will need a nice R and R trip with Obi-Wan to explain things.

 

Would this be my master's fate? Kissing women for the rest of his life? I shuddered at the thought.
at least for a long while, dear Obi

I would never live this down; we would never live this down. Somehow it would get back to the Temple and we'd be branded as rogues forever - my woman-mad master and me, the permanently-embarrassed padawan.

The Force was laughing at us again.
I believe so Obi.... when this story gets around the Jedi Temple, i'm afraid the Force wont be the only one laughing

Gulping back my embarrassment, I said, "A padawan's duty is to guard and protect their master from harm. Since I usually guard your back, Master, I guess I could guard your front as well."
Oh dear protecting Qui Gon's front proves to be a real challenge in this fic

"You are old enough to realize that I am a Jedi but I am also a man." He sent me just the hint of a smile. "Celibacy is not one of the Order's requirements, young one."
I didn't think my face could get any hotter but I was wrong. I wanted to sink into the ground and vanish with embarrassment.
"However, a hundred women or so is a little beyond my capacity at the moment."
With that, he turned away again, leaving me dumbfounded. I couldn't believe that I was having this conversation. Was he serious? As I stood, rooted to the spot, my mind kept whirling with possibilities ? a hundred women? At a time? Was that even possible? I knew, then, that when we returned to the Temple, I'd be doing more research, a lot more research.
Obi Wan and his research

Frowning at us both, fingering her blaster while she talked, she seemed more standoffish than before. She growled out, "You know, Master Jinn, you're a good-looking man. I don't think you need an attractant to get women. And you're not a bad kisser, either. Next time though, maybe you should just ask me. But lose the kid when you do. It sets a bad example. I do better one-on-one."
omg, that was way too funny

If this disaster remained a secret after we got back to the Temple, I'd eat my left boot.
Dont worry Obi Wan, i doubt ur gonna have to eat any of ur limbs, this will get around the Temple in no time

All I know is that I'm never going to kiss anyone like that... ever.
Just wait until ur older, Obi....u might change ur mind

Fantastic chapter, funny as hell ... i serioualy cant wait for Obi Wan and Qui Gon to return to the Temple....i hope u write the reaction from everyone there, it would be priceless

Thanks a lot for the pm

 

I was literally laughing out loud in so many places with this one, I was getting funny looks from hubby. I didn't dare explain. I just love Obi-Wan's thoughts on all of this.

"However, a hundred women or so is a little beyond my capacity at the moment."

With that, he turned away again, leaving me dumbfounded. I couldn't believe that I was having this conversation. Was he serious? As I stood, rooted to the spot, my mind kept whirling with possibilities ? a hundred women? At a time? Was that even possible? I knew, then, that when we returned to the Temple, I'd be doing more research, a lot more research.

Oh my. Obi-Wan might do better to just keep his mouth shut. He keeps uncovering more to embarrass him, and Qui-Gon doesn't seem to mind being blunt.

She growled out, "You know, Master Jinn, you're a good-looking man. I don't think you need an attractant to get women. And you're not a bad kisser, either. Next time though, maybe you should just ask me. But lose the kid when you do. It sets a bad example. I do better one-on-one."

"But I..." Qui-Gon seemed mortified.

How hilarious that she didn't believe him at first.

 

Gulping back my embarrassment, I said, "A padawan's duty is to guard and protect their master from harm. Since I usually guard your back, Master, I guess I could guard your front as well."
Oh dear!
Cannot stop laughing!


... can I line up too?

 

Diane- this continues to be hilarious! I love embarassed Obi. As usual, Qui-Gon is handling everything as the cool, accepting Jedi master that he is.

 

"Obi-Wan must be thinking, 'Ooooh, girls are oooky!'"

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, that was very cool that Qui-Gon's sense of 'the will of the Force' was right all along about the kissing! He's got great instincts.

Ninety-nine to go.

 

Ah, I thought maybe you were going to have the ?cure? be kissing all the affected women.

?My head was whirling with ideas, depraved images of women wanting my master and him wading into the crowd, giving into the moment, feeling and definitely not thinking as the crazed females surrounded him.?

Nice way to work that line in.

? . . . we'd be branded as rogues forever - my woman-mad master and me, the permanently-embarrassed padawan.?

Just too funny. The phrasing. The idea. Funny. Just plain funny.

?People look silly when they go to kiss someone. Master Qui-Gon had his eyes open at first and then closed them as he reached the woman's face. As far as I could tell, his mouth was slightly open as he pressed in. I bet the women liked it but I don't think it's very sanitary.?


Sanitary? Oh, Obi!

So. What?d he whisper to the woman after kissing her? Inquiring minds want to know.

Great job, Diane!

 

I love Obi-Wan's comments. And Qui-Gon.... He and Obi-Wan's conversations are certainly interesting in this story.

Really really funny, diane. Have fun on vacation!

 

Qui-Gon seems to have the situation well in hand
Now if Obi-Wan needs lessons. I will gladly offer my services.

Anytime, anyplace.
I could just imagine Obi-Wans blushing face.

Well done

 

Oh! I can imagine what Obi-wan must be feeling about now.... Poor guy. Embarassing to have your master kissing a humdred crazy women? I should think so. But he'll sure have one heck of a funny story to tell -- eventually, when the shock wears off. lol nice update Diane, as usual.

 

The Force was laughing at us again.

I don't know about the force, but I definetly am

 

jedidas3 ? I'm back! LOL. The Force is indeed laughing. I'm glad that Obi's embarrassment came through so well. Thanks, Padawan.


Valairy_Scot ? If Obi were older, I don't think I could write this and put it on these boards! LOL Thanks.


Musing ? I think Yoda's gimer stick is pretty scary! Thanks for reading.


ratna ? I'm not sure Erelia should get a kiss, do you? LOL.


KELIA ? Yes, I'm hoping that Qui-Gon would have to go around kissing women as well. I'd be first in line!

LOL. I liked the idea that she would be willing but that Obi never thought about it. I wonder if Qui did?

Yes, the trip back might be interesting but I think Obi has a bit of a problem. Thanks.


VaderLVR64 ? Thanks. Glad you are enjoying it so much. I had fun with the upcoming post, I must admit. LOL. Thanks for reading.


Itachi-Uchiha ? I think Qui-Gon has some explaining to do. Obi-Wan is certainly into research and Qui would be willing to answer questions. LOL. Thanks.


earlybird-obi-wan ? I'm sure Obi has a lot of questions if he would just get over being embarrassed. Thanks


Veloz ? If it gets to the Temple, it might cause a few problems. LOL.

Obi loves to do research, apparently. At least about this sort of thing. LOL. Glad you are enjoying it so much.


Magier ? I'm glad you liked it so much and found it funny. I'm having a great time making Obi-Wan so embarrassed. It's really fun to do.

Yes, Qui is a bit blunt and Obi really should stop asking questions, at least if he doesn't really want the answers. LOL.

I loved making Antilles so cautious and yet interested. LOL. That was fun!


Fifilla ? Thanks. I'm glad you are enjoying it. As for the lining up, you'll have to get behind me.


DarkAnakinfan ? Thanks. I'm having a lot of fun with it. I needed a break from all the angst I was writing.


Healer_Leona ? NOOOO, you have red eyes. So much green and now red. I keep thinking there's something wrong with your colors. Enjoy the new look!

LOL. Yes, he can't handle all those women at the moment.


ardavenport ? LOL. I planned that he was following the will of the Force when he was kissing those women. I don't think he just goes around and kissing women willy-nilly. LOL.


Ara-gon ? Nope, kissing the women doesn't cure Qui-Gon. It only cures the women. He's still emitting attractants. LOL.

Glad you are finding it so amusing! As for what he whispered, he thanked her. Nothing special but anything he'd whisper to me, I'd be mighty happy. Thanks.


LuvEwan ? Thanks. It's been a lot of fun. As for my vacation, I got to have lunch with Mike Stackpole and Tim Zahn as part of a charity auction at Dragoncon. I was really happy!


Gkilkenny ? Qui-Gon may have it in hand but he's bemused about the whole thing. As for Obi, you'll have to stand in line for the lessons and wait until he's a little older. Thanks.


JazzFox ? I think Obi would be traumatized for life with this adventure. A crazy tale to tell, I think. I wonder how many people would believe him LOL. Thanks.


Kitara ? Glad you are still enjoying it.