Before - Legends Aubade - Poem - Ulic Qel-Droma, Vima Sunrider (Based on Redemption) WFFA Best Poem - Thanks guys!

Kia Ora and thanks for clicking.

Title: Aubade
Author: Tahi
Genre: Poem
Characters: Ulic Qel Droma, Vima Sunrider
Setting: The poem is about the events in Redemption

Notes: I've been wanting to sit down and write this for a while and finally made myself do it. It still needs a bit of adjustment, so critique is very welcome. There are a few bits I'm not happy with, but sometimes I find that posting helps the process of editing. LOL

So here it is.

*********

Aubade

I never thought I could fall this far,
never guessed how cold it would be
when I hit rock bottom, how the dark
could smother with such intensity
that to pry away each blanket thread
would sap me, bleed me wan,
leech what little energy remains
in this hollow shell I have become.
Once ignited by the living spark
that fuses all within the Force,
I am the outcast, the blind man,
stripped and stumbling the frozen wastes
of Rhen Var, blighted by ambition,
tormented by memories of the dead
their fire stilled by my own hand.

In this land of light
I am the paradox
living in the shades.
Cheerless, friendless,
there is no respite
for me, except to say
I understand the frigid horizon
slashed and tortured by pinnacles
and gleaming crystal towers of ice
that can only reflect the warmth.
The planet turns, ticking time
through endless day and night,
blazing its silent circuit
around a lonely star.

Then she came riding the sun
like the dawn, painting the sky pink
and purple in profusion, a palette
familiar but forgotten to me,
forsaken by my fall from grace.
Shameless she came, unrepentant,
provocative, but with a heart so pure,
to cleanse the scales from my eyes.
And suddenly I saw it all, remembered
everything, and for one brief glorious moment
I touched infinity and lived again. I was . . .
I am . . . redeemed.

~Tahi~

 

Quite an appropriate poem to read aloud when Ulic's body vanished after dying at the end of the comic.

 

Wow that was indeed very good it was as if I was right there with him.

 

Tahi: That was something unexpected... but rather beautiful, as well...

My thoughts still aren't sorted out in order yet - I suspect there's a lot more to enjoy, but I liked the especially contrast you drew between Irek's bleakness, and the very different bleakness of his world of exile - dark and light, I suppose, or at least bright and shadow, with no companionship in either. I guess you could say something about exile, or the Jedi in general, here...

The sketch of Vima was great as well, in terms of the structure of the poem, the meaning it conveys, and in itself - you captured her perfectly with the provocative-but-pure bit!

Humanity overcomes philosophy?

Great poem!

- The Imperial Ewok

 

JA
Fancy meeting you here. LOL You're right about the timing of the poem. I was trying to capture the mood at the end of that book - one of my favourite graphic novels actually.

Thanks for reading.

Ceethreepio
Hi - lovely to meet a new reader.  Thnaks for the feedback. It's good to know the poe had that sense of immediacy.

Thrawn
Tahi: That was something unexpected...
LOL I love the story of Ulic - but yes I guess it is a slight change from the NJO.

but rather beautiful, as well...
Thanks.

My thoughts still aren't sorted out in order yet - I suspect there's a lot more to enjoy
Dunno - it's a bit briefer than most of my poems, and as I said, it's still a bit rough in places.

I'm glad you liked the contrasts as that was what I wanted to come through. The intense light accentuated the shades, but the world was kind of numb like Ulic.

The sketch of Vima was great as well, in terms of the structure of the poem, the meaning it conveys, and in itself - you captured her perfectly with the provocative-but-pure bit!
Yep - one of the things I like about that book is Vima's cheek and recklessness. She reminds me a bit of young Anakin (both Skywalker and Solo). Or maybe she's just a typical teen.

Humanity overcomes philosophy?
That's it in a nutshell.

Merci beaucoup.

 

Beautiful, Tahi! Such great writing and I loved the way the whole thing flowed. You have a knack for being able to tell stories with your poetry and still communicate the deep feelings in it all. This was a great way to tell the story of Ulic's redemption I particularly liked the descriptions of Vima coming to help him, and "cleansing the scales from his eyes."

Absolutely wonderful And a surprising and original subject matter

 

Beautiful! Your use of words was astouding and powerful. Haunting, provacative, and...beautiful!

I especially liked this part:

The planet turns, ticking time
through endless day and night,
blazing its silent circuit
around a lonely star.

Very vivid imagery there. And the end made me want to cry! Excellent work!

 

Thanks so much, guys. It's a bit late here, so I'll post a proper reply tomorrow. But thanks so much for R&Ring.

 

Yoda
Thanks.

I knew when I first started to think about the poem that I wanted to use some kind of dawn metaphor to show that Ulic's redemption is the beginning of a "new dawn/new phase" for him, and gradually the poem grew from that. The cleansing of the "scales from the eyes" just seemed to relate somehow - there are always lots of parallels to be made with Christian doctrine in SW.

And a surprising and original subject matter
I wish I had more time to read sme of the earlier material actually. The Sith Wars period is great.

Healer_Leona 

Thanks.

And it is beautifully written as well.
Thanks again - much appreciated.

Nienna_Narmolanya
Hi It's always lovely to meet a new TFNer.  
Thanks so much for the feedback - really appreciate your comments.

And the end made me want to cry!
Well - it's a moving story. I have to admit that the book always raises a tear for me. Some of those trade paperbacks are very well done.

It's nice to hear that the poem did have a strong emotional effect though, as that's what it was meant to do. However, one never knows if a poem will work or not until people react to it.

Thanks again for reading.

 

Poor Ulic - so sad. But good that he had a good end.

 

Yep. Glad he did get a chance to redeem himself.

Happy New Year everyone.

 

One of my friends has done some cover-art for this poem. It's rather beautiful as she has captured the sadness in Ulic's face so well. It's here.

 

Thanks so much or the nominations, guys. Much appreciated.

 

i clicked on this after you won best poem for it and am quite impressed! very nice work!

 

Thanks, obi-webb. Very kind of you - and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Poetry should be enjoyed methinks.

 

yowza, this was good! I'm a great fan of the Qel-Droma drama (hmmmm) and you convey it nicely.

Super job

 

[bows appropriately]
Hi there True_Emperor. Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I really love Ulic's story, too. It's been a favourite for a long time. I appreciate you reading and dropping in.