Saga Austin Powers meets Star Wars

I've been wondering the past few days whether or not post this, but I've decided 'What the heck?' Welcome everyone to my new comedy[i/] fic!

Basically, this is crossover between Austin Powers and the Star Wars Original Trilogy. There won't be any prequel stuff because, oh the shame of it, I've never seen The Phantom Menace. There, just had to say that.

All right, all the Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas. All the Austin Powers people belong to Mike Myers.

Enjoy!

PROLOGUE

If you just happened to be walking down 32nd London street 11:30 a.m. a certain Saturday night, you would have immediately been knocked off your platforms by the swooping of an electric-red Cadillac swerving down the road blaring "Hey, baby!" You would have been compelled to give the looser a one-fingered tribute, but you wouldn't have dared to when you saw that irresistible smile, the one that lighted up his face now.

"I take it you are enjoying your new automobile," a white-haired British man said, his face on a computer screen near the steering wheel.

"Absolutely! This baby's got a crankin horsepower!"

"Indeed, Mr. Powers. We have also added a time machine and transporter. However, during testing they were displaying some complications. It would be wise if... Mr. Powers? Mr. Powers? Hello? Are you there?"


CHAPTER 1


"We have to get out!"

Leia rushed down the shaking halls ignoring Han Solo's desperate calls. The bitter cold winds were howling through the cracks of the damaged station, whirling about countless documents. Leia was searching for one.

"Wait, wait, I found it!" the princess shouted.

The two Rebels struggled through the collecting debris to the hangar. Han Solo looked back to Leia, who was falling behind.

"If your Worship wouldn't mind."

The black-armored menace, a tower of terror in his own right, Darth Vader and a band of stormtroopers marched suddenly through the entrance and were 20 ft from her. No. Not now. Not after that. Please, not now, not ever.

"Leia!"

Before anyone could pull a trigger, an amazing bright flash exploded with a mechanical growling and a red vehicle.

All time stood still as a head with funky glasses and a toothy smile cautiously emerged from below the steering wheel, followed by another with chocolate brown braids.

"Wow, what a ride!"

Austin Powers glanced around, then saw the tall, weird guy in black.

"Groovy crib you got here! Kinda chilly, though."

Darth Vader could take no more of this.

"After them!"

Leia stared at the weird yet strangely good-looking man beside her.

"On to the ship!"

Austin saw the chick next to him.

"Anything for you, love!" he grinned.

The Cadillac burst from it's spot up the Millennium Falcon's ramp with a very surprised Han lying across the wind shield. When it screeched to a stop in the living quarters, Han practically leaped to the cockpit and lifted the ship off the frosty planet of Hoth, which was a little difficult with the strange, loud music shaking the cockpit walls. When all was clear, he went back towards the red thing to see if he could start to make sense of the incredible chaos he couldn't begin to comprehend.


CHAPTER 2

Leia examined the interesting male specimen sitting comfortably beside her. He had a strange way about him that left her almost breathless. No, Leia thought. Don't be ridiculous. You don't even know him!

"I'd like to thank you for rescuing me," Leia finally managed," sir. You know, I didn't catch your name."

"Austin Powers. And what is yours, love?"

"Princess Leia Organa, but you can call me Leia."

"Delighted!"

Leia suddenly realized that there was a strange music that was almost deafening her.

"And what kind of music is this?"

"Oh, you've never heard this? Would you care to dance, Leia?"

Leia shot up, grabbed his hands and couldn't help her dreamy, smoky look.

"I'd love to, Mr. Powers."


CHAPTER 3


Darth Vader waited patiently for the transmission with the Emperor to connect. It had been an hour since. since the in