Saga Bad Boys, JEDI Style

too funny!

 

I read this in its entirity on ff.net months ago. *grins* Parody is not usually my kind of genre, but you did such a good job on this fic that I couldn't help but be amused by it. The situations they get them selves into...

I loved reading the last few chapters of this again. This really is such a well-written humour fic, putting the characters into scenarios that you'd never expect- and then making them so hilarious and keeping the characters in character as well. I'm glad to see you over here posting this. Excellent job.

 

Chapter 33

"Malok," Qui-Gon smiled warmly, greeting his old friend.

"Qui-Gon!" the Zabrak exclaimed, grinning with delight and embracing him enthusiastically. "And Cory!" he added, with a cheerful smile as Cory bowed politely. "Come on in! It's great to see you," he smiled, inviting them inside. "What brings you to this part of the galaxy?"

"Well, most recently we were visiting Kilaui," Qui-Gon told him, as they sat around the kitchen table. "And before that Mobus, and Csilla... We've been taking a tour of the Unknown Regions," he explained.

"Ah," Malok nodded, grinning at Cory as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of lemonade. "Kilaui... Are they having red tide this time of year?" he asked, curious.

"No," Cory grinned ruefully. "Not for another four months," he shrugged. Red tide on Kilaui was truly remarkable; the rivers became filled with iridescent plankton, and at nighttime the water actually glowed as if it were on fire. Cory had seen it once before, on a previous visit with Master Qui-Gon, but this time the water had appeared its normal blue color. "How is Tarok?" Cory asked hopefully. "Thank you," he added, smiling gratefully as Malok offered him a glass of lemonade.

"Ahh," Malok sighed. "He's grounded," the Zabrak informed him regretfully. "He's doing his math homework... At least, I hope he is," Malok laughed ruefully. "He's not to leave his room until he's finished," he apologized; then he shrugged good-naturedly. "But it's not every day that Jedi ambassadors come to visit," Malok nodded cheerfully, "so I suppose I can make an exception... Tarok!" he yelled. "Master Qui-Gon and Cory are here, come and say hello!"

Cory grinned happily as he greeted the young Zabrak. Cory and Tarok were the same age, and had been good friends these past two years since Master Qui-Gon had taken Cory as his padawan. Master Qui-Gon and Tarok's father had met filming for an episode of JEDI many years ago; Tarok had shown Cory the recording of that episode once. Malok had played the part of Darth Maul, and had killed Master Qui-Gon before being cut in half by Master Obi-Wan, who was only a padawan at the time. Cory and Tarok hoped to be on JEDI one day too; it looked like so much fun.

So how have you been?" Malok was asking Qui-Gon now.

"Very well, thank you," Qui-Gon nodded cheerfully. "And you?"

"Good," Malok grinned. "I would ask after Obi-Wan and Anakin, but I take it they're doing quite well," he added mischievously. Then, seeing Qui-Gon's puzzled look, he cocked his head, surprised. "Haven't you heard? They made the front page of the Galactic Enquirer," he laughed; then he composed himself as he caught Qui-Gon's worried glance. "Tarok, why don't you show Cory what you've been learning in martial arts class," he told his son casually.

Tarok rolled his eyes, but Cory bowed politely as they left Malok and Qui-Gon to their private discussion. They quickly forgot their annoyance at being left out of what was clearly a fascinating conversation, and were soon rolling around in the back yard, fighting each other with long sticks in Zabrak fashion. "Check this out," Tarok said enthusiastically, holding his staff up high and pointing it at Cory with one hand, while holding out two fingers of the other hand in a menacing pose.

"Cool," Cory agreed cheerfully. "What's it for?" Master Qui-Gon had always encouraged Cory to study different fighting styles, and Cory was curious to learn the purpose of this new stance.

"Um," Tarok grinned, shrugging. "It's intimidating, I guess," he told him.

"Haha!" Cory laughed; then he dutifully pretended to flee in terror. "Ahhh! Help!" he giggled, as the two of them tumbled to the ground. "So what did you get grounded for?" he asked, curious, as they got up and continued fighting with their sticks.

"Eh," Tarok shook his head ruefully; then he shrugged, as Master Qui-Gon and Malok emerged from the house. "I'll tell you later," he whispered ruefully. Cory nodded; the two of them exchanged tex

 

They're both sneaking off to meet their girls!!!

What's all this?" he asked, tousling Anakin's moppy hair.

That, Qui-Gon, is a beautiful peice of art!

"And what happened to your head?" Qui-Gon added worriedly, peering at his scar with concern.

You mean what happened to your head to make it look so darn sexy?

Anakin grinned. "I'm pleased to meet you too, Cory," he said. Haha! He looks like a miniature Obi-Wan, Anakin laughed to himself. I guess Qui-Gon has a soft spot for shrimpy little redheads, he smiled in amusement.

Oh too perfect!

Loved it wawoot!

 

Hehe, they both leave Obi's place to go see their respective loves. Is Pookie going to be okay? I have grown rather fond of him and can't wait to see more! The part about Padme and Ani playing footsie under the table was hilarious!

 

Hmm I think it would have been funny if Anakin and Obi-Wan ran into each other while they were sneaking out. Still it's an interesting method of travel they have going on there. And I just knew that their little escapade on Cato Neimoidia would get out, a plague on all nosy reporters who seek out scandals like that to write about instead of finding useful news to cover. And I love it every time Anakin really starts showing affection for Padme, then pulls back when he remembers that they're being broadcast to millions of viewers. It's a pretty amusing mentality. Finally I liked Anakin's thoughts about Cory. I wonder if anyone will ever find out the truth about him being Obi-Wan's son? Great stuff as always wawoot, I hope to see more soon. This story always gives me a few laughs every time I read a new installment.

 

Well, I'm glad that Anakin and Obi-Wan finally patched it up!

I think it's funny that Anakin noticed a resemblance between Cory and Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon didn't- Qui-Gon seems more into details than Anakin does!

At least Anakin and Obi-Wan didn't end up on the same speeder when they snuck out!

 

Too funny, I loved all of the relationships and that Cato Neimoidia business. Cracks me up!

 

That was great it was nice seeing them have a family dinner and not even realizing it!

 

Chapter 34

...And in entertainment news, a stunt sequence for JEDI went disastrously wrong this morning, resulting in an emergency crash landing with Chancellor Palpatine aboard a burning, wrecked spacecraft...

Leila watched the crash footage in alarm; but then she smiled in surprised delight as she saw the Chancellor emerge safely from the cockpit, accompanied by two Jedi. Obi-Wan! And Anakin! she realized excitedly. They're back on Coruscant! And they're going to be on JEDI... Maybe, Leila frowned worriedly, listening to the rest of the news story.

...The incident is currently under investigation, and the show's producers may face serious repercussions from today's on-set disaster. Experts speculate that the matter could be in litigation for months, and that the JEDI show could potentially lose its insurance coverage, possibly facing permanent cancellation. And in sports news...

Oh dear, Leila thought sadly as she turned off the holo-monitor. JEDI had always been one of her favorite shows; it would be terrible if it were cancelled. But at least they landed safely, she smiled wistfully, grateful to hear that Obi-Wan and Anakin were back from their romantic fling on Cato Neimoidia... Or whatever the heck they were doing there, Leila laughed to herself, still amused.

Feeling a little sleepy, Leila retired to her bedroom and changed into her favorite nightgown, hoping that Obi-Wan would come home tonight. She had missed him these past two nights; it had been lonely without him sleeping beside her, not to mention cold... But most of all, Leila missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day. Raising two kids as a single mom could be very difficult at times, but knowing that Obi-Wan cared about her made the hard days a little less lonely. And today had been a hard day.

Ahh! Leila cringed as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror over her dresser. Where did those dark circles come from? Peering closer, she frowned at the faint lines around her eyes and mouth. Go away, she pouted stubbornly as she applied anti-wrinkle cream to the offending areas. No one else noticed them but Leila, and Obi-Wan said she was imagining things, but they were there.

Then she smiled, despite herself. He loves me, no matter how old and wrinkly I get, Leila realized wistfully as she brushed the tangles out of her straight, almost-shoulder-length hair. He thinks I'm perfect just the way I am. Up until two years ago, Leila honestly didn't know what her natural hair color was; she had been dying it blonde for so long that she had forgotten. But Obi-Wan had been curious to see what it looked like naturally, and now it was a light golden-brown color; he said it was even prettier that way.

I look like a mom, she smiled quietly. Not some aging nightclub dancer. Still, mousy-brown hair was so common, and boring; Leila had been toying with the idea of dying it red next, but Obi-Wan had looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. Why would anyone want red hair? he had asked, completely baffled. Leila smiled at the memory; Obi-Wan was so adorable when he was confused.

Hearing a faint scrabbling sound at the window, Leila looked up, smiling excitedly. Obi-Wan! A moment later he hopped down into her bedroom, and then they were in each other's arms, embracing each other happily. "You're back!" Leila smiled in delight, kissing him as she began to unclasp his belt. It took a long time to get through Obi-Wan's endless layers of Jedi garments, and Leila had learned from experience that it was best to just get started right away. "You've been busy," she giggled mischievously, fighting her way through his second belt. "I've been hearing all sorts of fascinating things."

"Oh dear," Obi-Wan laughed ruefully. "Yes, it's been an interesting couple of days," he sighed; then he smiled tenderly. "How have you been?" he asked gently, with an apologetic look.

"All right," Leila nodde

 

LOL -- two wonderfully hilarious updates!

And you did cinnamon buns today! I love cinnamon buns, he sighed happily. They're my favorite.

Tee hee!

I like how Pookie's has to take time off... explains why we don't see Grievous for a while... lol, I'm loving this!

 

Good for Obi-Wan! It will be good for everyone that he will be able to spend some time with Leila's kids.

I'm kind of sad to see Pookie go... he was so cute!

 

"I don't care what it means," Anakin insisted stubbornly. "We're not naming our baby after your Uncle Poodu."

Oh god! Good call Anakin! Poodu Skywalker! Just brilliant!

And on top of that, now Owen needed to find a new Sith apprentice. One far younger and more powerful...

And don't forget much sexier!

Awesome update. Leila, Obi-Wan, Padme and Anakin are too cute!

 

Cough, cough, I wonder who they will pick to be Sidious's Apprentice ? Nice update.

 

"Ani, he's my favorite relative," Padme pleaded gently. "And his name means 'fearless warrior' in the ancient language of Naboo," she pointed out hopefully, stroking his chest softly as she lay beside him in bed.

"I don't care what it means," Anakin insisted stubbornly. "We're not naming our baby after your Uncle Poodu."

Good heavens! When you come right down to it, the Naboo tend to have some strange names: Ryoo, Ruwee, Dooku , Poodu...


Oooh pretty dress... And you did cinnamon buns today! I love cinnamon buns, he sighed happily. They're my favorite.

Awwww... He's so adorable. They're so adorable....


I was wrong, Anakin admitted sadly. Obi-Wan doesn't hate me. I was a jerk for not talking to him these past two years, but he's so forgiving, and kind... Anakin made a resolution to do a better job of keeping in touch with his former master once he returned to Hutt territory. Who would have thought that we could still be friends, he thought wistfully, smiling to himself.

Ani, you ninny!


People never check their rear-view mirrors, Obi-Wan sighed in annoyance as the driver of the speeder continued along as though nothing had happened, completely oblivious to the fact that there was a Jedi Master sitting in his back seat.

He would be annoyed at something like that, won't he?

 

who will owen find indeed!

 

Hmmmm... Hope Owen can come up with someone good!

I am still enjoying this story as much as ever! You have done such a fantastic job with it. I have to say though, I think the Anakin/Padme parts are just my absolute favorites. They give me a major case of the warm fuzzies.

What a wonderful story!

 

This is hilarious. I love how you've managed to merge the movie with the behind the scenes "real life" Jedi and make it work.

Loved Pookie. Now, I'll never see the General G. in the same way again.

Great job. Love it.

 

Heheheh! I think it's so funny that Anakin has no idea how he got the scar! Too bad we don't get to see the apprenticeship of Darth Pookie!

 

Chapter 35

Jon looked up apprehensively as the door to the hair salon opened. Is it him? he wondered anxiously. No... Just another customer, he decided with relief, as the woman came inside and took a seat.

"Good morning," his mother greeted the newcomer with a friendly smile. "I'll be with you in a few minutes! Help yourself to some coffee or tea if you'd like," she added cheerfully, before resuming her chat with her current customer. They were talking about some holo-drama, but Jon hadn't been paying attention; he and Kyra had been playing a game together in the corner.

"Oh!" Kyra said brightly, at the mention of coffee and tea. "I'll get it! What would you like?" she asked the newcomer hopefully. Kyra loved to play the hostess.

The woman smiled endearingly at the little blonde girl. "I'd love some coffee," she said gratefully.

"OK!" Kyra smiled happily, as Jon good-naturely poured a cup of coffee for her. Kyra was only five, and couldn't pour yet, but she was already an excellent little waitress, like their mom used to be before she opened her hair salon three years ago. "Here you go," Kyra said cheerfully, bringing the woman her coffee.

"Thank you," the woman said, with an appreciative smile. Kyra beamed delightedly, then returned to her game with Jon.

It was just a silly children's game, where you try to collect different kinds of aliens; the rules were ridiculously simple, but still Jon had trouble focusing. "Heehee!" Kyra laughed, taking away one of Jon's aliens. "It's mine now!"

Jon grinned ruefully, letting his little sister win. There had been a lot on his mind lately; since his fight at school three days ago, he had been lectured by his teacher, the principal, and his mom. Hitting people is wrong. I get it, he sighed ruefully. I won't do it again. But today he was about to get yelled at all over again, this time by his new "Big Brother" from the stupid mentoring program.

I don't need a Big Brother, Jon sulked resentfully. I am a big brother. Ever since Kyra's father left, Jon had been the man of the house; their mother worked so hard to provide for them, and Jon did what he could to help her out, and take care of his little sister. He was an incredibly responsible nine-year-old, not the wayward troublemaker that everybody seemed to think he was these days.

I shouldn't have hit him, he admitted regretfully, wishing he could take back his actions on the playground. But the kid had been making fun of him, telling the entire school that Jon was gay because his mom was a hairdresser and he didn't have a father. I should have just ignored him, he realized sadly. But what was done was done, and he was paying for his mistake now.

The door opened again, and this time Jon's heart sank as he saw that it was a man. But not just a normal man... Holy crap, Jon blinked anxiously, his heart racing as he eyed the lightsaber hanging from the man's belt. I must really be in trouble if they sent a Jedi.

"Hello there," the Jedi said politely. "My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi; I'm looking for Jon," he added hopefully. No, Jon trembled, panicking. No no no... Mom, please... He has a lightsaber! I'll be good, I promise... I'll never hit anyone, ever again, I swear...

"Oh my goodness!" the woman in the waiting area exclaimed, nearly spilling her coffee. "Master Kenobi! I saw you on the news the other day; that was amazing how you saved the Chancellor from that terrible crash! Oh, it's so exciting to meet you!" she babbled.

The Jedi looked a bit disconcerted for a moment, but he smiled warmly, with a little humble bow. "Thank you; it's a pleasure to meet you as well," he assured the woman. Then he glanced around the room curiously, smiling politely at Jon and Kyra, and finally their mother. Jon stared intently at his game, avoiding the man's gaze and hoping maybe he wouldn't notice him; but he knew it was useless. I'm the only nine-year-old boy in this room, he sighed ruefully. [

 

Sorry I haven't been able to reply for so long. I had alot of things to do in real life and I had finals and everything.

Aww... Obi-Wan is so sweet to the children! It's too bad they don't know he is their father. It's funny that Jon wants Obi-Wan to be their father when he already is! I'm sure Anakin will love his new role as a sith lord!

Update soon!

 

Awwwww, that was so adorable!!

Great update, I loved seeing Obi-Wan interact with the children!