TITLE: Just for Laughs--The Joker's Diary AUTHOR: Volund Statfire GENRE: Batman: Arkham Asylum/City CHARACTERS: Joker, Harley Quinn, Batman, and other of Gotham City's notable heroes and villains. SUMMARY: A year in the life of the Joker as he plans a great prank! DISCLAIMER: DC owns Joker, Batman, and pretty much everything else I am writing about here. 08 January, 2013 Dear Diary, I ran into an old friend on my way to the store today for some grocery shopping. Through his blood-curdling screams and begging me to stop the car and let him out from under it, I was reminded that it has been a while since I had a good laugh. I drove around for most of the morning to think up something really funny to do, but the screams were kind of distracting, so I turned on the radio. That was when I heard the commercial for a new cartoon on one of the thousand channels of Gotham Cable. And that commercial gave me an idea. So, I drove over to the Gothan Cable building and asked if I could have copies of the show. Well, I guess the people were surprised to see me show up in their lobby, because they wouldn’t stop screaming and cowering. It’s either that or the dead body that was have dragged apart on the front bumper as I drove through the lobby window. But, I wasn’t getting anywhere with them, so I went in search of the DVDs myself. It took me about fifteen minutes and three reloads before I finally found someone who would cooperate with my request. Once he gave me the disks, I asked if there was a suggestion box because these were really hard to find. He said something about a wife and kids, so I shot him and took his license. I guess I could mail the suggestion to them. lol I got back to my car just in time to hear the first sirens of Gotham’s finest coming into earshot. I thanked the secretary, took a mint out of her bowl (they are free, right), and dropped a small bundle of dynamite on her desk for her troubles. You know, I need a tune up. My car was drowning out the sound of them screaming. I saw in my rearview that the cops showed up just as I turned the corner. The first officers ran into the building as the dynamite went off. There wasn’t an explosion, though. Wait… Was that the confetti filled dynamite that I was supposed to use for Danny’s Happy Parole party? Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it? HA! Got back home and put the cartoons on. Harley made some popcorn and laid down in front of the TV to watch them with me. After five or six episodes, we got into a playful popcorn fight that ended with me hitting her in the head with the bowl. She must have been tired because she fell fast asleep. She’s missing the best parts, though! Well, I watched them all. Harley woke up and doesn’t seem to remember watching them with me, or her entire freshman year of high school, but who cares! I have my idea for the best joke that will really kill people. They might even laugh if they get the joke! Well, good night for now, diary. J P.S.: Have Harley go to the store to pick up a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk, two loaves of bread, a carpet cleaner for Danny’s room, and to run the car through the car wash… it’s starting to get a little gamey.