Story [Batman] The Journal of Alfred Pennyworth (Dear Diary) | Update 7/6

First, I will place a spoiler warning here as this journal has to do with the recent events in Final Crisis and Batman RIP and will span the upcoming Battle for the Cowl and other comics.

Title: The Journal of Alfred Pennyworth
Fandom: Batman
Characters: Told from the point of view of Alfred Pennyworth. Will likely include: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon and others as it progresses.
Summary:Alfred Pennyworth, Batman's loyal butler, struggles to deal with the loss of Batman and the struggle to carry on and care for his other sons.


Every night, I have that same terrible nightmare. It varies of course. Sometimes it?s that maniac The Joker. Other times, he simply falls off a building or the batmobile is in an accident. The outcome is always the same. Bruce dies. And now, my worst nightmare has become a reality.

Every night when he didn?t return on time, my heart would skip a beat. When he?d return, I?d be upset that dinner was cold and that he didn?t have the courtesy to call, but I would always thank god that he was alive.

Then there were the days he didn?t return. The terrible nights I would be kept awake, always standing by the phone waiting for that call that miraculously never came. Eventually I would decide to go out looking for him or I would be summoned to get him. And every time, I would dread what I?d see, never prepared for seeing the broken bloody mess before me, but always relieved to see he was breathing.

I can not count the number of times I have washed the blood from the cave or the amount of stitches I have sewn. No amount of scrubbing will ever remove the amount of his blood that I have had on my hands for so many years. Nor will I ever forget the sound of his cries of pain or the labored breathing. Every time, I prayed that it wouldn?t be this time.

When he returned after his dealings with the Black Hand and simply headed over to the Justice League as if nothing had happened, I didn?t worry. I rarely worry when he is with the Justice League. Just like when Richard or Timothy are with their friends, I feel they are safer. Afterall, so many have the ability to heal with magic and there are surgeons like Doctor Midnight. And many times he has protection from someone like the Green Lantern.

Perhaps that is why I can?t believe he?s really gone this time. It took all my strength to keep my composure as I saw the body. Once I was alone, I wept for several hours. It had finally happened. My son was dead.

 

Aww, poor Alfred!! That must be so terrible for him

 

may not have kept up with what's been going on the last however many years, but i still love the characters.

awesome job on this, even though i have one heck of a time believing they actually killed batman. there's just something wrong about that on soooooo many levels. but you captured alfred absolutely perfectly in the situation.

great work with the voice here, and i will definitely be following this.

:snoopy

 

NYCitygurl: I imagine it would be the same as losing a son. He did raise Bruce for all those years, so I think this is a devastating blow for him.

Trimaj: I too had trouble believing they actually did it. Thanks for the comments. Alfred is one of my favorite characters and his quiet strength is what makes him such a great character to write.


I had thought I was prepared for this. In the back of my mind, I always knew the odds would eventually catch up with Bruce. But after so many years, I never thought it would actually happen. Not to him. Not to my Bruce. My son.

I rarely called him that of course. But I raised him since the terrible night that Thomas and Martha were gunned down. I have been there for the highs and the lows in his life. I often wondered whether it was right to support the Batman. If I had stopped him, forced him to live a normal life, would he still be alive?

I know that answer. No he wouldn?t. Why? Because the Batman saved Gotham City and the World numerous times. If it had not been for him, so many of us would now be dead. If he had not pursued this quest, would I have had the joy of helping to raise the boys? Would I have been a part of this wonderful family? I?d like to hope so, but the common link between each of them makes me know otherwise.

But now, he is gone. This time, there will be no miraculous recovery. He is not captured. He is not hiding. Bruce is dead. I have to keep telling myself this.

I woke up this morning, starting to prepare his favorite breakfast. I set his place at the table. And then as I walked over with the plate, I remembered. My hands trembled and the plate fell to the floor shattering on impact.

Tim bounded down the stairs, clutching a towel around his waist. The poor boy must have thought I had fallen or that someone had broken in. His hair still had suds from the shower. I instantly felt so foolish for my mistake and for scaring him. He was suffering as well.

I need to be strong for his sake. He will need me the most now. Both of his parents met with a terrible fate. Then his friends Conner and Bartholomew were killed in the line of duty. And now Bruce, his adoptive father, has also been taken from him.

?Are you ok Alfred?? He asked, out of breath.

?Yes Master Timothy. I?m getting careless in my old age. Go back upstairs. I don?t want you stepping on glass.?

I saw his eyes fall on the place setting. He bent down, helping me gather some of the larger shards, but I eventually shooed him out of the kitchen. I had cleaned enough blood for a while. He retreated upstairs to finish his shower and I fetched the broom and dust pan, sweeping up the shattered China plate that had belonged to Martha?s mother. After depositing it in the waste bin, I paused.

I could remember how careful Bruce was as a child with the family China. He always handled the plates as if they were newborn infants. He would always attempt to help me with the chores. So, in order to give him something to do, I taught him basic house work. But after, I attempted to make him go outside and play or socialize with a friend. I insisted that he be a child as long as possible. But both he and I knew that he stopped being a child the day his parents died.
>

 

No matter how hard I tried, I could not help Bruce move on. The first few days of silence tore at my heart. He spent all his time in bed, his eyes red from crying. He barely spoke. I had to beg him to eat. The poor child?s guilt was heart breaking. No matter how hard I tried to tell him it wasn?t his fault, he would insist it was. I did what I could. I took him to doctors, but he never opened up to anyone. Leslie Thompkins was able to pry a little bit out of him, but he still walked around the manor, as if he were barely aware of his surroundings. He was so quiet; pre-occupied with thoughts that he would share with no one.

I was determined to make him feel better. I took him to the zoo, the circus, carnivals and amusement parks. His birthday party consisted of half of Gotham. But while he was always appreciative of my attempts, his spirits were never lifted.

The first Christmas without Thomas and Martha was the worst. While Bruce was at school, I went all over the Gotham area shopping. I found something that I thought might finally lift his spirits: A Grey Ghost action figure. I was so excited when I found it. I wrapped it up and placed it under the tree with the other thirty gifts Bruce had received.

On Christmas morning, I had to wake Bruce up. Unlike most children, Bruce would no longer jump out of bed for gifts. This would continue until he was older and was not a result of being the first Christmas without his parents. Reluctantly he got up and went downstairs, purely for my sake. With his parents gone, I believe Bruce tried to protect me and cling to me because I was the last of his family. And I, valuing him above all else, kept close to him.

Upon entering the room, he sat down and started opening gifts. He thanked me for each one, but his heart was not in it. I can not think of a sadder sight then a child who didn?t get what he truly wanted for Christmas: His parents.

And yet, when he opened that toy, his eyes lit up. He tore it free from its? plastic prison and started playing. For a brief moment, Bruce Wayne was happy. And so was I. And then, his eyes fell on the portrait of Thomas and Martha. And he stopped. He thanked me for the toy and then quietly went up to his room. I retreated to the kitchen and wept. If I could, I would have given my life so that Thomas and Martha could have been there to spend Christmas with him.

As time went on, I often considered removing that portrait. It was a glaring reminder to the poor boy that his parents were gone. But I didn?t. There were many reasons why I should have, but I could never bring myself to do it.

It is late. Richard will be coming home tomorrow and I need to make sure I am awake early so that everything is prepared.

 

It is nice to have Richard home. Tim needs him now. And so do I. It is entirely too lonely in this mansion without Bruce. I have learned over time that this mansion can be so cold and unfeeling. I first noticed this when Thomas and Martha were gone.

Never before had the corridors been so large. The sitting room where Martha would knit and Thomas would read the paper seemed so very empty. The Master bedroom that once smelled of Martha?s favorite perfume and Thomas? aftershave was now devoid of that aroma. I found Bruce in their room several days after the funeral. He was spraying Martha?s perfume on the bed sheets.

When I asked what he was doing, he turned to me, tears running down his face and replied ?I?m forgetting how they smell.?

I bent down and gathered the boy in my arms. For several months, I had a dish towel on my shoulder that Bruce would come to use for crying. When he had left the bedroom, I took Martha?s perfume and sprayed the entire room. I then doused the bathroom with the smell of Thomas? aftershave. I repeated this ritual once a month for the next two years. Doctor Thompkins caught me doing this one day and when I explained, her eyes brimmed with tears and she gave me a peck on the cheek. She thought it was a wonderful way to help Bruce cope.

In fact, it did help slightly. Bruce began to talk more and eat more. But for many months, I constantly would debate removing items from his view that would remind him of his parents. This was a dilemma that plagued me daily. If I left the room alone, he would see the items and be reminded of his parents. If I removed them, he would notice the absence and perhaps that would hurt more. I considered moving us out of the mansion for a time, but Leslie and I agreed that Bruce had already lost too much and a change as dramatic as moving would not help. He would have to come to terms with his loss.

So, that is when we began to travel. Because he was underage, Thomas left the fortune in my name until Bruce was old enough to claim it. I struggled for weeks, but eventually decided to purchase a small beach house so that Bruce would have somewhere to go that would not invoke memories of his parents. Over the summer, I would shut up the mansion and take him there, allowing him to mingle with children his own age and to try once more to allow him to be a child.

He did enjoy these excursions, but I had a new problem. Returning to the manor was always something he began to dread. On the final day of vacation, he would turn inward and shut down. Once more, I considered selling the manor and moving the boy someplace else. But that was a step I could not take. I often wonder if it was my own attachment to the manor that affected my judgment. I will never truly know whether it was the right decision to raise Bruce in the manor.

 

[face_crying] This is so sad!! Poor Alfred, and poor Bruce. I can't imagine losing parents so young, and in such a horrible way.

 

NYCitygurl: I too can't imagine what it would be like, but based on old comics and the movies, there's a pretty good indication that things were extremely tough. And Alfred is someone who will remember the good and the bad times fondly.

A small Spoiler warning regarding : [hl=black]Hush impersonating Bruce[/hl]

Today was another long day. I have been spending the past few days attending to Bruce?s will and putting affairs in order. But this Thomas Elliot trouble is starting to interfere. Those who were close to Bruce of course notice the change. But the media continues to dwell on the fact that ?Bruce? has not returned to Wayne Manor.

Today, I traveled to Dr. Thompkins? residence and told her what truly happened. If I were Bruce?s father after the death of Thomas and Martha, Leslie was his mother. When I told her, she collapsed to the floor, wailing for several minutes until I helped her up and eased her into an armchair.

I informed her about the quiet funeral that would be held courtesy of the Justice League and said my good byes. Because of how it happened, no one can know that Bruce Wayne is dead. At least not yet. This of course means that Thomas Elliot must be kept alive. So, much to their own disgust, Richard and Timothy have begun to shadow Mr. Elliot.

I am most concerned about their well being. They have been through so much and I fear losing Bruce has pushed them very close to the edge. Tim has changed his costume and frankly, it terrifies me just as much as the Batman costume.

It is starting to sink in now that Bruce is gone. He won't be walking through those doors or driving into the batcave. He won't be calling for me ever again. I have started to accept that. I need to focus on the boys and Cassandra now. There is no time to dwell on my own loss. >

 

Poor boys!! I wonder if Hush'll pull off the impersonation.

 

again, excellently written minch. all of them. this is all so alfred.

i'm... still highly irked that they did finally kill of batman. how can they still call the comic batman now, really? something's just a little wrong there...

the new cosutme robin has is indeed a bit... off. doesn't suit him so well, but given all of the changes not much else can be expected.

nice to see the JLA honoring him.

:snoopy

 

NYCitygurl: In this week's comic, that question has been answered, for now.
Trimaj: If you haven't yet, you may want to read Final Crisis 7. I agree on Robin's costume. I don't like it. Hopefully it was only temporary.

Author's Note: As I am now back to class, I will have less time to write as often. Also, given that this journal is loosely following events in the comics, most large entries will be on Thursdays, Fridays and the Weekends. I'll be updating my other story on Mondays, Wednesdays and Weekends. My goal is to get 2-3 entries for this story during the week and at least 1 large chapter for the other story.

Entry 6:[/b]

Hiding the death of Bruce Wayne has been an obstacle. Especially now that Thomas Elliot, also known as Hush, is running around as Bruce. I don?t think I?ve ever seen the boys so furious. Truthfully, if Thomas dared to come here, I?d injure him again. And this time, I would make sure to disfigure that face. That face is not his. He has no business living a life he never deserved. But, on the other hand, it keeps the trouble of hiding the death of both Bruce and the Batman at the same time.

James Gordon stopped by this morning while Timothy and Richard were out on an errand. The Commissioner was a regular attendant to Wayne functions, and he always seemed to respect Bruce. Bruce long suspected that James knew he was the Batman. But, in order to avoid having to arrest us, he turned a blind eye. James knew the real reason why ?Bruce Wayne? had been missing and he knew why the man hadn?t been back to his family home.

With no one else to tend to, I made the Commissioner a cup of tea and we sat in the den talking. We didn?t actually say Batman or Bruce of course. That would make things difficult. James used ?him?, knowing who I meant. I don?t believe I?d ever seen the Commissioner so defeated. He knows what we all have come to know these past few days: The world will soon realize the Batman is gone.

There is a question of who will take up the mantle of Batman. We know that Gotham can not survive without him. Even though the man is gone, the symbol of hope [u]must[/u] remain. Gordon mentioned that since Batman?s ?disappearance? crime has gone up. Richard and Timothy do what they can. And Cassandra has returned as well to help us. But we all know it is only a matter of time before the citizens of Gotham and, more importantly, the criminals realize that Batman is gone. For Gotham?s sake, Batman must return.

The Commissioner mentioned how he would continue to shine the signal every night. I responded that I was certain someone would always answer the call. All he could say was. ?Whoever they are, they aren?t him?

We both fell silent at that moment. He finished his tea, thanked me and left. When he was gone, I began the usual chores. I have noticed a change in my usual schedule. I no longer enter Bruce?s bedroom. The bed is made, the room is immaculate and not a hair is out of place. So I have avoided it for the past few days. Eventually, I will have to make myself go in there so it does not collect dust. I suppose? it is now Richard or Timothy?s room if they wish it. >

 

I can see why Alfred doesn't like Hush (btw, I've never read a Batman comic). I wonder if Hush or the boys will be able to pretend to be the Batman.

 

NYCitygurl: Thanks for the feedback. As far as pretending to be Batman. I'm unsure whether I'll tackle that, or wait for the upcoming story and just tell it from Alfred's POV.

Another potential spoiler warning regarding Hush.



It has been some time since I?ve last updated. All of us are starting to move on. It is a slow, painful process, but I know Bruce would want us to move on. However, Bruce?s unfinished business continues to crop up. Selena Kyle called Richard several days ago. She had tracked Dr.Elliot to Vietnam. The boys departed immediately to apprehend him.

They returned yesterday and locked Thomas in a private Wayne Tech building. Only the three of us retain access. Dr. Elliot can consider himself imprisoned. The boys seem in better spirits. As peculiar as it sounds, I believe this excursion helped them deal with their grief and preserve the memory of Bruce.

As for myself, I have not yet visited the doctor. A part of me would like to use my surgical knowledge and disfigure that face beyond repair. I truly don?t think I could look at him. Just the thought of it fills me with so many emotions. If I am to truly move on, I should visit Thomas. But for his sake and mine, I should probably have one of the boys accompany me.
>

 

Strangely violent. Is he the one who killed Bruce? But aww at Alfred being so . . . protective is the wrong word since Bruce is dead, but I can't think of a better one.


Edit - don't forget to PM the challenge sock when you update

 

NYCitygurl: No Hush didn't kill Bruce. But he did have plastic surgery to look exactly like Bruce. He tried (and failed) to replace Bruce and he also tried to attack Alfred. So there's some harsh feelings in that. Thanks for the reminder about pming the sock. Will do so now.

Slight Spoilers from last week's Batman and the Outsider's special.



Life goes on and so I seem to be writing less frequently then I would like. I finally brought myself to visit Thomas and Martha?s grave. Bruce should be with them, but of course the world can not know that he is gone. It is just one of the many tragedies that Bruce seems to suffer even after he is gone.

Bruce left me more unfinished business. Last night, a secret compartment in my room opened up and I found Bruce?s virtual last will and testament. True to form, Bruce was prepared for every eventuality. He had built this chamber to open only if he was unable to communicate within a set period of time.

I finally have closure. Before leaving me with a monumental task, Bruce took the time to say goodbye. He also left separate messages for Richard, Timothy and even Jason.

[i]I always thought you were like a father to me but I was wrong. You?re not like a father. You [b]are[/b] my father Alfred. And the fact that I?ve been lucky enough to have two amazing ones in this life of mine?well it only makes it harder to say? Goodbye Dad.[/i]

This was the closure I so desperately needed these past few weeks. I feel as if I can finally begin to move on. I truly wish that both Bruce and I had had more time together and that we had acknowledged this relationship before his passing, but it is a great comfort to know he felt the same way.

I write this entry from the batwing. I have set it on autopilot so that I might collect my thoughts. I am about to embark on a journey. Bruce has left me with the task of reforming the Outsiders and leading them against a great threat. It is not a matter of being up for the task. I am prepared for this. Rather, I question whether they will follow me willingly. They did not know that Bruce was Batman. And for now they still can not know. This will complicate matters.

Richard had offered to escort me, but I asked him to remain in Gotham. I had asked Tim to accompany me but he declined. I fear he feels obligated to protect Gotham City. I am not sure what Bruce said in his farewell to Tim, but I sincerely hope it wasn?t to encourage the lad to become the Batman in his stead.

Tim has had more tragedy in his life then Bruce and Richard combined. In the course of several years, he has lost his parents, his best friends and his girlfriend. It is a miracle that Ms. Brown did return from the dead, but still these deaths have changed Tim. Gone is the happy young man who used to enjoy patrolling with Bruce. Now, a young man on the edge of being an a man who has become obsessed with saving those he loves has taken his place. I fear that these many deaths have driven him to sever the relationships he still has in some misguided way to protect them. He has left the Teen Titans in order to focus his time on Gotham City. He?s forbidden Stephanie Brown from becoming the Spoiler and his methods have grown disturbingly violent. I fear he is heading for a fall.

I hope Richard can help. He has nearly finished moving back home. Hopefully he will be able to raise Tim?s spirits and watch out for the boy in my absence.
>

 

Glad Alfred got some closure That letter from Bruce was so sweet, but heatbreaking at the same time. And poor Tim

 

NYCitygurl: I thought the writer for Outsiders perfectly captured Alfred in that moment and it is just as I imagined Alfred would feel. And I agree. Poor Tim. I really hope the DC writers start treating him better this year.

Slight Battle for the Cowl spoiler. But not really a big one if you've seen any of the covers. This also uses the mini challenge of storms.

A storm is brewing in Gotham City. It has now been several weeks since the last sighting of Batman. The media is proclaiming that Batman is dead or missing or retired. Obviously they have no idea. Unfortunately, their interference has made the citizens aware that their protector is gone. And in doing so, those who fear the Batman are no longer hiding in the shadows. They openly walk the streets at night, terrorizing the inhabitants of this city.

I myself am preparing for war along with the Outsiders. Their mission will be top secret and extremely dangerous. Should this journal ever be intercepted by enemy hands, I will not risk any further elaboration. I am concerned for their safety and have begun to have second thoughts for accepting this mission from Bruce. But honestly, I don?t regret it. I would never turn down his last request.

Tim?s behavior continues to worry me. There is a darkness in that young man?s heart due to the losses he has suffered. But the grief has turned to anger and revenge and he is not Bruce. I do not truly know where he will land when he does fall. I pray that we will be able to help him. But try as I might, I can not help him out of this. Thankfully, Richard is watching over him and keeping him on the right path. Bruce would be proud. Richard and Oracle have begun to assemble a team of local heroes to keep watch over Gotham. Black Canary, Huntress and several other heroes have answered this call. Everyone knows how much Bruce loved this city. They will not let all of his work crumble now that he is gone.
>

 

It's good that some other heroes will help protect Gotham so the city doesn't fall into chaos I'm really curious about the mission. Great entry!

 

Whoa, just read this- it's really good! I haven't kept up with Batman lately, but I kinda remember Hush - he was the one who [hl=black]tried to kill his parents, but Bruce's mom saved his mom? Or something?[/hl]

Anyways, I really love your diary and I can't wait for more! If you have a PM list, I would love to be on it!

Keep up the great work!

 

snowspeeder_gunner:Bruce's dad actually. Not his mom. I'll be sure to send you a pm from now on when updating. I appreciate your interest.

This was supposed to have been posted two days ago, but I forgot.




Word has now reached the criminal underworld and Gotham City as a whole. Batman is dead. Gordon continues to shine the signal, but no one believes that the Batman responds. Richard?s team of heroes is barely holding the crime wave at bay. To make matters worse, Black Mask has apparently abducted several Arkham inmates including Scarecrow and Poison Ivy. Victor Fries was recently apprehended by Comissioner Gordon after attempting to subject Gotham to another ice age.

Barbara has moved back to Gotham, yet she remains out of touch. Richard has attempted to contact her, but she has yet to respond. I am concerned for the Outsiders. They have not yet checked in from their mission.

My new responsibilities keep me motivated. But I have encountered an unexpected obstacle. While Tim, Gordon, myself and others believe that Gotham needs the Batman, Richard refuses to let anyone assume the role. Despite my attempts to reason with him, he is adamant.. There are rumors that a Batman is out on the streets and this one is killing. It appears that Gotham will have a Batman. But not the Batman they deserve.


I?ve spoken too soon. I have just seen footage of Tim from the Batcave security cameras. He did not leave the cave in his costume but rather in one of Bruce?s old costumes. Perhaps Batman?s legacy will live on after all. I hope Richard won?t be too cross with Tim. His heart is in the right place.

Oh dear. Upon further viewing of the footage, it appears Master Damian has appropriated the batmobile. Richard will not be pleased.
>

 

I hope Tim can pull it off!!

 

Wooohooo go Tim! Hope he doesn't run into too much trouble.

And I can't wait to see Scarecrow and Poison Ivy!

Keep up the great work!

 

Finals are over and I have a few more days before my next class begins. Let's see if I can't write a few more before then.

I have just finished removing a bullet from Bruce?s son. Damian is the only child that, according to his mother, is the biological son of Bruce Wayne. And while the boy is by far the worst behaved young man I have ever encountered in all my years of service, he is still the son of Bruce Wayne. But Damian is not the heir. Oh money of course he would inherit if he were to need it. However, his mother Talia Al?Ghul and his grandfather R?as have their own family fortune.

No, Damian will never take the mantle of Batman. I am certain of that. Nor is it Tim?s mantle. Perhaps in several years, but not now. Tim means well, but he is not Batman. But nor is he Robin. Gone is that youthful exuberance that once motivated him. He is a young adult now and it is time for a change. I'm sure he knows it as well. He doesn't really want to be Batman. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

That mantle is Richard?s. This was never in doubt for anyone. It is his birthright should choose it. He is the Batman that Gotham needs right now. He seems to have finally accepted that after seeing Damian lying on the table as I worked. He's gone off to confront Jason and find Tim.

I have grown so very tired of bullet wounds. As I looked at Damien's sleeping form, I could tell that he was destined to be shot at often. I therefore began work on a more bullet resistant attire. It is time that Damien proved that he deserved to be a part of this family that Bruce has created. Soon we will have a new Batman. It is only fitting that he have a new Robin by his side.>

 

Oh wow, Batman has a kid! {oor guy, left without a dad. I wonder how he's taking it.

 

NYCitygurl: Damien is apparently Bruce's son. I'm not sure if they ever did a DNA test to confirm that though


Timothy has gone missing. It?s the nightmare all over again. I wondered if I should have put an end to this insanity after Bruce passed. I can recall the day Superman and Wonder Woman brought us Bruce?s cowl. The one he wore when he died. It was a terrible day. Normally I maintain a strict composure. But that day, I let my tears fall in front of superheroes. ? My son has died? I told then when they asked if I was alright.

I have shed enough tears for a lifetime. I can not think of a family that has been more blessed and more cursed then this one.

More than anything, the death of Bruce has driven Tim. But it is the wrong motivation. It is vengeance and grief. I wonder whether he will one day end up like Jason. I pray he does not.

Richard has gone after him. As Nightwing. I had truly hoped that I had reached him and convinced him it was time to accept the mantle of Batman. But no, he is not yet ready. I can tell the day will come, but it is not today. I will continue to support him no matter what, but I fear that Gotham can not wait forever. Batman must return soon or all Bruce fought for will be lost.
>