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Before there were Lightsabers: The Beginning. Updated 10-27!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by ArnaKyle, Jan 16, 2002.

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  1. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Before there were Lightsabers: The Beginning
    Rated PG-13
    No Spoilers
    A story on how the Force is first recognized, used, and misused.


    There once was a time.
    There once was a place.
    In the valleys of darkness
    Or the skies of hope
    That it was born.
    Like a child it grew
    Like an adult it lusted for glory
    It was used and misused
    In this time and place.
    The Force.




    Jara Ducali jumped across the open plain of grassland on Coruscant, rolling forward from the strongly propelled leap. She braced herself as she gracefully bounded back into standing position, raising her staff with eager determination. Raising her long and supple arms above her, the light piece of willow flashed and danced in her hands, singing whistles in the stillness.

    Each stroke looked elegant against the wide barren sky, so blue with a trickle of sunlight melting through the clouds. The movements circled one after another, swinging to the right and left. Every parry and block was measured perfectly, and the entire performance looked much like a dance, only missing the music.

    But the music was in her eyes, they glowed a passionate shade of blue, and her blonde hair swung about her free-flowing and soft. Her lovely pale skin shined with a thin coating of sweat, but as she leaped on her toes, thrusting the staff in all directions at invisible opponents, it was a beautiful picture indeed.

    Her mind was clear and empty as she danced wildly, practicing strike after strike. She shut her eyes and immersed herself into the void of tranquility. There, safe inside her own mind, free from clutter or thought, Jara felt at ease. The calm was a beautiful tranquil sea, and she was free to enter it as she pleased. It beckoned for her, called for her to dip in to it.

    There was a surge around her as she stepped into the water, her loose fitting dress still swirling around her ankles. With that, she laid the staff aside, and began a new exercise. Circling her arms in wide and generous motions, she put her mind to rest again, allowing for the energy to only move through her body.

    Kicks shot through the air, and she jumped gracefully as she squeezed her eyes shut. She could feel herself rise high into the air and the distance that she sailed seemed far. As she landed softly, she struck twice hard with her palms, but contact was made. Jara opened her eyes.

    Mencar grinned at his younger sister, though she too was old enough to be alone. In fact, Jara was orphaned at birth, and Mencar was alone since he was four. Neither of them had any recollection of their parents, but the practitioners of the Aven-dare gods had raised them in charity. Mencar wore a plain brown field-uniform, and Jara was clothed in a simple cotton dress.

    "Sister Sovenyü will be furious with you," he remarked stoically to his sister, and she looked down. The hem of her dress was soiled in mud. "You didn't happen to fall into the stream, did you?" he asked curiously, though Jara took the comment as an offense.

    "Oh Mencar," she hissed, sending her golden hair into a ripple of rage, "please don't tell her. I had no intentions of?touching it again." Mencar quirked his head towards Jara and bit his lip. "If you do," she threatened angrily, "I'll tell her that you have it too!"

    Jara's voice grew raw and wild. "I swear by it Mencar, tell Sister Sovenyü anything and she'll have us both hanged and dissected, you know it." She pulled at the soiled trail of the dress, and whirled around hotly, tossing the staff aside. "I can't explain it, Mencar, but it's so much more different than the Aven-dare. They have done nothing for them. This, the power I feel?"

    Mencar placed a steady hand on his sister's shoulder. "Be at peace, Jara! Do not talk of this nonsense again. You know they preach against false magics. Hush, if Sister Sovenyü would hear you speak of that, we'd both be back on the wilderness." Her blue eyes glared at him, and Mencar forced his gaze away.

    He could still feel her angry accusing glare upon him. "You know just as well as
     
  2. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2001
    WOW! That is one of the best, if not THE best start to a story I have ever read! That was incredible! I'm definitely going to need to read more of this, which means you have to make room to juggle it!
     
  3. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    There will be more tomorrow I think...

    Thanks Peter!
     
  4. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Mencar only nodded numbly. Jara was so young, and had seen so little of Coruscant. The farms that peppered the rolling countryside were even hidden from her. She had been restricted to remaining within the immediate area of the darten, the worship house. Needless to say, Mencar had faced similar rules, but he took them far better than his sister.

    As he looked at her, so young and pretty, he realized that the anger she felt was enormous. It was without a doubt that Jara would be placed into the ritual of becoming a Sister, and Mencar would be cast off when Jara finally reached of age. The Aven-dare was a strong and chaste religion, and there was no place for Mencar within it's stately walls.

    Jara, however, was supposedly a proper young woman in the eyes of the Sisters. If only they might have seen her now, white garments streaked with mud, and hair flying everywhere, their choices may have been different. But around the Sisters, her demeanor was far different.

    "You'd never defy them," Mencar taunted, his sister trying to wash the mud from her clothes in vain. She stood from the grassy bed of the stream and turned to face him. For once, her eyes seemed to be a placid blue, but Mencar realized it as the infamous calm before the storm. He knew that he shouldn't provoke Jara, a hurricane waiting to happen, but with his four year advantage to her, this was an opportunity to install harassment.

    She pushed back some of her hair, fastening it loosely into a makeshift knot, and took her staff in hand. "That sounds a bit like a challenge, Mencar dear." Her voice had grown low, but coming from his sister, Mencar tried to resist a laugh. Her seventeen years of wisdom and her small frame were no match for him. Mencar smirked at her, but soon found he had only provoked her more.

    Her bright eyes flashed into a shade of clouded blue, and she jumped into the air, focusing her attention on the energy around her and within her. Jara could feel the ground slip from beneath her, and she landed gracefully on the sharp hill above the stream, balancing only for a moment.

    Mencar was prepared for this attack and leapt out of the way, boots dancing lightly across the stream. He did not fall in, and only the stones beneath the crystal water seemed to noticed the rippling of the brook. Jara bent her knees deeply and fell next to her brother, but the impact had caught her off-balance. Clods of dirt flew into the air, and Jara twisted on her side, snapping her leg out to sweep Mencar.

    He fell over with a surprised sound and tumbled down the hill. Jara stood, smoothing her now badly soiled dress and walked towards him. He looked at her, and rubbed his finger against his bleeding lip. His gray eyes never changed towards her, but as she stepped towards him, staff in hand pointed at him.

    At once, Mencar's legs snapped out against hers, the one catching the inside right of hers, the other hooking around the back. He thrust them both in opposite directions, and Jara fell, crying out from the sudden shock to the bone. With that, she slid into the muddy bank of the stream and screamed.

    "Mencar! I hate you!" He laughed jovially, and offered her a hand up, which she swatted away angrily. The white layers of her dress were beyond cleaning now, and a patch of moss was strewn into her blonde hair. With the air of an angry princess she pushed herself up, trying to maintain the last drops of pride and dignity left in her.

    "Don't you see?" she said, cooling her emotions. "This is a new level. This is the Force."

    Mencar nodded, surprised to see the sudden change in his sister. One moment she had cursed angrily at him, and the next she was preaching her philosophy. "I see," he said, staring at her hard. His voice was soft and serious, and his gray eyes seemed like a distant fog. At once, he blinked and smiled. "I brought you a change of clothes, I figured you would need it anyway," he said, grinning.

    ***

    Mencar bowed before statue of Aven-Dawn, the idol of morning prayer. He knelt down, feeling t
     
  5. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2001
    OO... I like it! The beginnings of the Force, and training already... I love the way you describe the two siblings and how they play off the other...

    But I sense a definitive brewing in Jara... ;)

    More please!
     
  6. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Thanks! Maybe more tomorrow, depends if I choose to acknowledge my geekdom on a Friday night or not. ;)

    And wait and see about Jara. Wait and see.
     
  7. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Upping this. More tomorrow, I hope.
     
  8. Cheveyo

    Cheveyo Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2001
    Hey, I like this! Just found it this morning... sorry I'm late.

    I'm curious to see why Jara so despises the Sisterhood, and where she's prepared to take her anger!

    I especially like the revalation that Mencar could hear Jara's thoughts.

    For some reason, the first post reminded me of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", though there were no actual similiarities in the stories. Maybe just because of the verbal banter between the two characters. This is very well written tale! I can't wait to read more.
     
  9. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    I loved Crouching Tiger. Yeah, the fighting is a bit, CTHD based. Thanks!!!!
     
  10. TwilightKat

    TwilightKat Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2001
    I agree with Peter; one of the best starts to a fic I've ever seen!
    The way you describe things is so vivid. I'm hooked.
    [bookmarks this]
     
  11. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Jara? he thought back to her, wanting to see if she too could hear him. Her sudden gasp confirmed that thought. She turned her eyes onto Mencar, lip trembling slightly. Mencar was in awe, barely aware of Sister Calksinways's presence.

    He stood, and Jara joined him after a moment, her golden hair pulled into a plain roll that fell at the base of her neck. Sister Calksinway smiled at them softly, and walked away. Jara scowled, but the Sister turned around hesitantly. "Oh, Jara? Mencar? Hurry along to breakfast, Sister Sovenyü wishes to have a word with you."

    Mencar felt a chill run down his spine and nodded momentarily. "We'll be there in a moment." His gray eyes flickered in the dim light of the hallway, turning to his sister as Sister Calksinway left. "I heard you," he said lowly. "I heard you curse her."

    Jara took a shaky breath. "You called me." For a single moment, her confidence seemed drained, and she didn't seem sure of herself. "Let me try again." Jara closed her eyes, as if concentrating carefully, and called out to Mencar. He responded likewise mentally and opened his eyes.

    "What is this Jara?" Mencar's voice faded in the drafty hall.

    Her voice was soft as she replied. "Can it be? This is the Force Mencar. It has evolved to a new level." The Force, as Jara called it, had surprises past any of her expectations. Already she could feel it alive within her. Mencar and Jara had reached communication, and it had enhanced her physical ability more than she could possibly imagine.

    This morning in the field. Jara had fought with unmatchable dexterity and skill, limbs flying at great speed and heights, but Mencar had proved to be a worthy opponent. She seemed contemplative for a moment, but she shook the thought away.

    Now it was Jara's turn to be the submissive one. "Let's see what Sister Sovenyü has to say," she muttered, and took to her heels, walking slowly to the mess.

    ***

    "Good morning, children," Sister Sovenyü said in her patient and gravelly voice. Mencar frowned, he towered over her thin and small frame, but said nothing. Jara did not either, and he did not pick up any angry thoughts from her either. Mencar kneeled and kissed her hand before rising, and Jara did the same.

    "Good morning, Sister Sovenyü," they dictated in perfect unison, same as they had for years on end. It had become one of the primary things Jara despised about the Sisterhood, the ritual order and display of every day. Time was inconsistent and ambiguous here, nothing measured the days nor hours, save for the sunlight.

    "Today," Sister Sovenyü announced slowly, "is your twenty-first birthday, Mencar." He stood up a trifle straighter, and stiffened. It would be his final day at the convent. The Sisterhood had agreed to host Mencar until he was twenty-one, considering Jara sufficient by then.

    All he had in the world was Jara. She was his only relation, his only friend. Their newfound connection in the Force was just beginning, but it would have to end so soon. His grip tightened on the chair he stood behind; his knuckles turned a ghastly shade of white, and shook violently.

    She put her deathly cold hand on his. "You remember the agreement we have made with you, Mencar. But we shall give you today, and to Novice Ducali also, to make your good-byes."

    Jara's eyes flashed anger in them. "I am not a novice of your ways yet," she snapped, "and you shall let Mencar and I have the day freely."

    She thought she could see a flicker of confusement in Sister Sovenyü's eyes. "Very well," she said flatly, "you and Mencar may go out amongst the people today, Jara." The confusion transferred over, and Jara looked at her brother cautiously. What happened? she thought to him, and he returned the feeling.

    "Thank you, Sister," Jara said blankly, bowing slightly.
     
  12. Cheveyo

    Cheveyo Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2001
    Ha! Another new Force power?? ;) <mimicking Obi Wan>"You don't need to see his identification"</mimicking Obi Wan>

    So this "Force" concept (Later to be known as just "the Force"), is it Jara's naming?? You weren't kidding when you said The Beginning, were you?! :D
     
  13. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    Oh.... This is so good! Do I sense that Jara will be the first sith and that Mencar will be the first Jedi?
     
  14. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Yay! New readers!!!!!

    Chevyo: Yep, this is THE Beginning. Well... ;) There's a lot of stuff I'm still working out, I'm toying with quite a few ideas right now, so I'm not sure what direction it's going to go yet...

    Miana: Thanks for reading!!!!! Wait and see. :D

     
  15. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
  16. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Jara and Mencar left the heavy gates of the Aven-dare convent for the first time in their lives. The cobbled pavement was slicked with morning dew, and at last, the sound of rusted iron closing echoed like music in their ears.

    "You're lucky, Mencar," Jara said after a long pause, both standing in front of the gate. "You'll not have to return to these anymore." There was a deafening silence between the two siblings, both staring at the thick walls of the Aven-dare convent from a distance they had never seen before. Jara's eyes moved past the building, looking at the world she felt as though she'd just been born into.

    "Where do we go from here, Jara?" Mencar asked, his voice suddenly hard. "Neither of us remember what life is outside of there." He threw an angry look at the walls of Aven-dare. "This is new to us, I don't know what other people are like, I don't know what the world is like. We've been prisoners for years, and you're a prisoner for life."

    Jara scowled menacingly, and ripped her eyes from the convent, stepping out on the pavement. "This is it, Mencar, this is the only chance we might get. I won't be a prisoner of them!" But this time, her words, though seemingly bitter, were betrayed by her choked voice. "I won't be a prisoner," she repeated softly.

    Mencar only put his arm around her shoulders, the only thing he could possibly do. Jara had gone training that he was unaware of, and that she never spoke about either. He only knew that she detested the Sisters, and for a reason locked away inside of her, she wanted to betray them.

    An elderly man passed the siblings, still in front of the convent. Mencar stopped him with a question. "Excuse me, sir, might you tell my sister and I the way into the market?" The market was the only place Mencar could recall. The Sisters sent for goods there every week, but Coruscant was an unfamiliar place still.

    The man looked at them, adjusting his spectacles on his bumpy nose. "Are you from the Sisterhood?" he asked hoarsely, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes darted to the convent, and back to Jara and Mencar. "Are you a Sister, girl? Are you one of them?"

    "We are from-" Mencar began, but was interrupted by Jara.

    "We are not. We are not of this part of Coruscant, and we do not know our way around," she lied, keeping a composed gaze focused on the man. He squinted at her clear blue eyes and nodded at last. "Won't you tell us the way, good sir?"

    He nodded at last, rubbing his sore back. "You wish to see the Market? It's a lovely site for you to see," he said, keeping his eyes on Jara. "There are many things for you to enjoy, I own a table myself, would the miss like to purchase a new dress?"

    Jara's eyes glimmered in hope. The wish to be free from the white garments of the Sisterhood shone in her face. She sighed. "I have no money," she said at last, trying to maintain her haughty air.

    The old man laughed, which turned into a strained cough. "Well then, miss, what is the purpose of you going to Market? You certainly can only wish for things, but that shan't get you anywhere," he cackled. He looked up at the sun, still rising in the sky, and adjusted his wide-brimmed hat. "Of course, the miss can make the bets if she should like, my son is in the fights."

    A strange look passed over the old mans face. "Though I don't suppose a girl like you would be able to fight. It's not proper, they say. But you," he said, pointing a bony finger at Mencar, "perhaps you might fight my son, he'll be pleased to pay whatever you wish if you can defeat him."

    Mencar's gray eyes blinked. "No sir, but if you should just show us the way into town, we'd still appreciate seeing Market."

    Jara stepped in front of Mencar. "I shall fight him," she said, smiling widely.
     
  17. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2001
    TWO POSTS! I MISSED TWO POSTS!!!

    OO.. Both were good, and I just somehow had a feeling that Jara would say that... I LOVE IT!

     
  18. Cheveyo

    Cheveyo Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2001
    Uh-ohhh... Jara's gonna do some whoopin'!!

    Will we get to see the beginnings of the Jedi martial arts? This going great, Arna! :D
     
  19. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    A good old fashion butt whipping? This i gotta see (read, whatever)

    UP!!!!!
     
  20. JadeSaber

    JadeSaber Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Hey Arna, I really like this story! It's very interesting to think of a time before the Force. I guess I've always just thought of it as being there from the beginning.

    I also like your depiction of Coruscant before it turned into the mega-city.

    Can't wait to see what happens!

    Keep up the good work! :)
     
  21. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Shadowan Pete: Thank you ;) :D

    Cheveyo: Thanks! Yes, Jedi martial arts...sorry it took so long, I had to find some "inspiration" (aka getting the crap beaten out of me by blackbelts)

    Miana: Ask and ye shall recieve! :)

    JadeSaber: Thanks for reading!!!! So glad you like it! I liked the idea of Coruscant not being a big city...after all, Los Angeles started as a religious camp!










    The old man pointed to a young man. "That is my son," he said. The son was of slim build but had good height. He kept a quiet smile on his face, and two dark eyes peered from underneath a tangle of brown hair. "Tarus Carvin," the old man said with a toothy smile, "my son."

    The man he had identified as Tarus smiled. "You've brought more victims for me, Father?" he said, wearing an amused look on his face. He tilted his head towards Mencar. "You look like a strong fellow, but we shall see," he laughed.

    The old man grinned. "You're not going to fight this young man," he said, and Jara stepped out from behind Mencar. "You're going to fight her." Tarus laughed heartily.

    "Father, you really wish for me to fight a girl? That doesn't seem very right at all!" His lips drawn back, displayed a full set of strong white teeth, and he smiled at Jara. "How old are you, girl?"

    Jara glared defiantly at Tarus. "Eighteen," she lied, and Mencar did nothing to stop her. He'd learned that when Jara had her mind set on something, it was best to let her go. "I'll give you a fight, Carvin, and I hope you won't forget it. May we settle the financial business now?"

    Tarus laughed. "So Father told you I'd pay for a good fight. If I'd see a girl like you give me a smile, I'd be glad enough to settle your financial business." He raked a hand through his thick brown hair and grinned at last. "Very well, if you wish to fight me and succeed, I shall offer you anything you'd like. I've never been defeated before."

    Jara nodded with contemplation, though her eyes sparkled eagerly. "Jara Ducali. Know who it is that shall defeat you."

    ***

    She was still dressed in the repressive garments of the Sisterhood, but Tarus and his father didn't seem to notice. Her blonde hair was fastened back with a strip of cloth she had ripped from her dress, and her eyes seemed lit from within, a fire that couldn't be quenched.

    It became obvious to Tarus also that Jara Ducali meant business when the first blow was given. She was light on her toes and jumped towards him, striking quickly to Tarus's unsuspecting temple. Though the Force was on Jara's side, Tarus seemed to be an apt opponent.

    He blocked the fist harshly, but Jara rolled his wrist inward, causing him to wrench away in pain. He threw a kick at her side, blocked swiftly by Jara. She spun inwards, forcing a cascade of golden hair to fall upon her shoulders, twirling wildly from her movements.

    The punch was thrown hard, but Tarus blocked softly this time, throwing Jara off balance, then countering with a back thrust in her stomach. Jara flew backwards, airborne, but landed on her feet, only groaning for a moment. Focus she thought to herself, and released herself to the Force.

    It washed around her, gently at first, controlling her mind with ease. Jara could feel Tarus's presence around her, and his quick thoughts betrayed his actions, allowing her to easily dodge and counter strike his attacks. There was now sufficient proof that Tarus had no idea as to what hit him, and his father seemed puzzled as well. Mencar hid a smile and slipped away into the confines of the gathering crowd.

    Jara didn't notice the sudden absence of her brother's presence; her attention was directed only on Tarus, launching attack after attack. The Force was swelling inside her, and Tarus hadn't gotten one clean hit in yet. She, on the other hand, had managed to get him in the gut numerous times.

    Her confidence building, she released the Force for a heartbeat, anxious to see how she might do without it. Tarus whirled towards her, thrusting her into the air w
     
  22. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2001
    Ooo.. Nice! I loved the line-

    <Know who it is that shall defeat you.>

    AWESOME! And Jara didn't rely on the force! A worthy opponent indeed..
     
  23. JadeSaber

    JadeSaber Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Whoo-hoo! Go Jara!! :D

    I always like reading about strong women...

    Oooo, a bit of a cliff hanger... where did Mencar go???

    Post again soon so that we can find out! :)
     
  24. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Thanks Pete and Jadesaber, I might not be able to update tonight, but I'll try!
     
  25. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Really sorry about the lack of updates, but I've been REALLY busy!

    My grandpa is in the hospital for heart surgery and I have a lot of hw, thanks for understanding, there WILL be an update soon.
     
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