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Saga Behold (Poem. Obi/Ani. ROTS-angst)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Alley_Skywalker, Oct 3, 2008.

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  1. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Title: Behold
    Author: Alley_Skywalker
    Genre: Poetry, angst
    Timeframe: ROTS, post-ROTS
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin (in mention)
    Summary: Over the years Anakin had become a much larger part of Obi-Wan?s life than the Jedi Master had ever thought possible. They had become, if not everything than, a lot to each other. Yet the Dark Side has interfered. Throughout the end of ROTS and beyond Obi-Wan has to deal with a new reality ? one without Anakin in it?
    Notes: The word ?love? here is used in a very TOS-compliant, platonic/familial sort of way.





    Behold


    Behold the falling of the water,
    The bitter tears of fragile hopes,
    The rain of shards that once made up a lifetime,
    The brawling waves like tortured souls?
    Behold

    Behold the birthing of the darkness,
    The clash of chaos that replaced our harmony?s song,
    A ball of yellow light falls to the floor and shatters,
    The feasting flames feed on the eternal void?
    Behold

    Behold the death of my salvation,
    The shipwrecked cries of my broken heart,
    The fatal sinking downward towards coral
    To the pitch black depths where all dreams end?
    Behold

    Behold the stifling emptiness with which you left me.
    I lean back against the wicker couch, surrendering
    To the memories that shadow and roam the empty rooms,
    Taunting me and waking memories of you?
    Behold

    Behold the salty taste of sweet forgiveness.
    My love withstands the pummeling of misery?s waves,
    No flame, no shadow, and no chasm, can take away the dearest desire of a heart
    So, when the storm subsides my love will still be here?
    Behold
     
  2. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    That was very lovely. =D= I thought that spoke a lot about what both characters could have been feeling, especially towards the end.
     
  3. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    I am afraid to talk.
    That was SO good!
    Sad, synonym for sad, synonym for amazing, stunning, you name it.

    tapping fish
    go Master!
     
  4. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Wow... picturing Anakin as an Ocean in there... wow. Well done. :)
     
  5. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Sara_Kenobi: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it :)

    mujapple-juicey: Thanks, Padawan. Your excitement is always appriciated ;)

    DaenaBenjen42: Hmmm...I never particularly thought of it as Anakin being descriped as an Ocean rather the whole situation personofied in that sense but, hmm...that's an interesting thought right there it[face_thinking]
     
  6. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Gorgeous poem, Alley. @};- The last verse was especially touching.
     
  7. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    amidalachick: OMG, Kim, I'm didn't even notice you reviewed. I feel stupid now [face_blush] lol. I'm glad you liked it. I still have waves of SW longing, even though I know i'm not as heavily into the fandom as i use to be :(
     
  8. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Master, you talk like a poet.
     
  9. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Simply beautiful! :_| =D=
     
  10. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
  11. Ganki

    Ganki Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 27, 2002
    Beautiful poem!
     
  12. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    "An articuate masterpiece that will remain without a rival for eternity."
    I read that phrase out of a textbook and I thought it fits this poem perfectly.
     
  13. Takianna

    Takianna Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2005
    This poem deserves alot of credit. It is really wonderful! =D=

    I love it!
     
  14. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Here's my thought: THIS POEM DESERVES ALL SORTS OF AWARDS IF IT HASN"T GOTTEN AT LEAST 100 BY NOW.
     
  15. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    =D=
    you should profit off of this, Master! [face_money_eyes] oh the cash!
     
  16. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Congrats, Master, on the award! see? I told you this has got to win somethin'

    =D= =D=
     
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