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BERTI'S CUT-OUT AND KEEP GUIDE TO SCOTS FOOTIE

Discussion in 'Scotland' started by MOTs_Minx, Jan 29, 2002.

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  1. MOTs_Minx

    MOTs_Minx Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 26, 2000
    Thank you to PadawanSDM for sending this to me...and its ALL TRUE!!!

    BERTI'S CUT-OUT AND KEEP GUIDE TO SCOTS FOOTIE
    > > > >
    > > > > THE last time Berti Vogts played in Scotland, Celtic were top
    > > > > of the league and it was raining. So when he takes over as
    > > > > national team coach next month, he'll feel familiar. But
    > > > > there's a lot he'll have to learn about his new home - and
    > > > > its football. To help him hit the ground running, BOB SHIELDS
    > > > > has prepared a dossier which covers everything Berti needs to
    > > > > know
    > > > >
    > > > > HAMPDEN PARK
    > > > >
    > > > > THIS is your new HQ and Scotland's showpiece national
    > > > > stadium. If you want to know how much it cost, just think of
    > > > > the biggest number you can and double it. That's how your new
    > > > > employers, the SFA, costed it.
    > > > >
    > > > > Don't worry if there is no grass on the pitch, this is quite
    > > > > common at Hampden. And if you look out and see the home team
    > > > > are winning 12-0, you will be watching the Scottish
    > > > > Claymores.
    > > > >
    > > > > If the phone rings and a voice says, "Hi cutie, it's Candice,
    > > > > remember me . . ?", you may respond by saying Craig Brown has
    > > > > been transferred within the company.
    > > > >
    > > > > THE SFA
    > > > >
    > > > > THE initials S.F.A stand for two things in Scotland. The
    > > > > second meaning is often used to describe what the first
    > > > > meaning do for a living.
    > > > >
    > > > > Your first impression will be of a lot of well-intentioned
    > > > > people who know little about football itself. Don't be
    > > > > fooled - you'll be absolutely correct.
    > > > >
    > > > > The chief executive is a Mr David Taylor who is known
    > > > > as "himself". That's why you will often hear the
    > > > > phrase, "everyone at the SFA is looking after himself".
    > > > >
    > > > > The SFA have a tendency to do controversial things - like
    > > > > having a match clash with Princess Diana's funeral or
    > > > > insisting Rangers play in a war zone.
    > > > >
    > > > > However, things have improved since the days of "The
    > > > > Ayatollah" - a legendary period when a Mr Farry was in
    > > > > control.
    > > > >
    > > > > Shortly after your arrival, a sub-committee will be formed to
    > > > > discuss which committee you should be allowed to attend. The
    > > > > SFA will "fast track" this decision, so you should find out
    > > > > about 2007.
    > > > >
    > > > > THE SPL
    > > > >
    > > > > IN Germany, you had the Bundesliga. Other countries have La
    > > > > Liga and Serie 'A', where teams battle it out for the
    > > > > championship title.
    > > > >
    > > > > In Scotland, the teams that fight out the championship are
    > > > > called "The Old Firm". But because a league of two sides is
    > > > > unacceptable to UEFA, it has been extended to include "the
    > > > > diddy" teams.
    > > > >
    > > > > For example, if you switch on Sky TV at 5.35pm on any
    > > > > Saturday, the team playing against Rangers or Celtic are
    > > > > the "diddy team".
    > > > >
    > > > > Occasionally, The Old Firm will buy a player from one of
    > > > > these clubs. This explains the common expression: "I see
    > > > > Rangers have signed another diddy from Hibs."
    > > > >
    > > > > In recent years, we have also welcomed the "foreign diddy" to
    > > > > our game. However, these "foreign diddies" are not eligible
    > > > > for Scotland.
    > > > >
    > > > > To help sort out which is which, take a telephone book to
    > > > > games and look up the players' surnames.
    > > > >
    > > > > If there are not at least another dozen "Tabilys"
    > > > > or "Kontermans" listed, you may assume they are "foreign
    > > > > diddies". But anyone whose name is "Law", "Baxter", "McGrain"
    > > > > or "Dalglish" is Scottish and well worth looking out for.
    > > > >
    > > > > THE SCOTTISH LEAGUE
    > > > >
    > > > > THE lowest and poorest ranks of the domestic game, but the
    > > > > source of many great players.
    > > > >
    > > > > Some play every Saturday, year after year, for little reward.
    > > > > They are strangely known as "stalwarts", a word so old tha
     
  2. Obi_one_and_only

    Obi_one_and_only Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2001
    Thanks MOTs1
    Very enlighting!!
    :D
     
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