Beta Readers Needed for Obi-Wan Reflection

I need one more registered beta to read my story. I would be most appreciative if you would.

This is Obi-Wan's thoughts as he witnesses Qui-Gon's funeral. It's short, a page and a half long.

Here's an excerpt:


The flames devour the wood. Blackness is consuming the light.

The face of the Sith that killed him drifts across the meadows of my mind. The black and red pain, the hideous horns. And even more hideous, the sneer that crosses his face as he kills my Master. There is only darkness for this one. The Force shimmering around him is thick with sadistic pleasure and a boiling hatred for me, for the Jedi. I can feel the thickness, and in that thickness I can?t feel the Force as strongly as I am used to. How can you hate what you don?t know? I want to yell at him.

He would want me to go on. He would want me to remember the good. He would want me to forget his promises and hopes; to exchange them for my own promises and hopes with the boy standing at my side, his face tear streaked.

I don?t want to exchange anything. I want my Master back. I want him to stand at my side as I am knighted, as I am properly released from his tutelage.