main
side
curve

Beyond - Legends Broken Promises **Dear Diary 2007 Challenge** Thanks for the nom!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jade_Pilot, Jan 3, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    A wonderful, and unique, entry! [face_laugh]

    =D=
     
  2. verybusy

    verybusy Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2006
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Hopefully she gets it ifxed soon....:D

    cheers,

    VeryBusy
     
  3. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    brodiew: Thank you, yes...we're just beginning!

    Lea-El: Thank you for reading. Confrontation with Mara? *shudder* ;)

    frankie skywalker: :) Thanks! More soon!

    VaderLVR64: Thank you! :D

    verybusy: Yep! And who is good at fixing things???? Thanks for reading!
     
  4. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That's brilliant!

    I like this girl and I shouldn't, since she must've broken Luke's heart. I tell ya, it's those darn talented writers and their wonderful OCs.... [face_hypnotized]

    Looking forward to more!! :D


     
  5. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    <Journal Entry #2>


    Ah?it?s working fine, now. I am absolutely ecstatic that I have a datapad?a working datapad, that is. I won this beauty in the school essay contest, but was quite dismayed to find it was in need of repair. (A lot of repair) When I got to Anchorhead, I was shocked to learn it would cost 50 credits to get my prize running properly.

    Might as well be 500 credits, I had neither to my name. I decided to ask Mr. Leron, the science teacher, if he knew anyone at school that might be able to do some work for a better price. He gave me only one name: Luke Skywalker.

    He said Luke could fix anything.

    I don?t know him very well, but we have been in some of the same classes in the past. He keeps to himself a lot and I never see him in any of the extra curricular activities. Word has it that he helps his uncle on the farm before and after school. I tried to catch him several times, but he was always gone before I could. So finally two days ago, I got home early from school and took the family landspeeder over to the Lars place. Mrs. Lars answered when I knocked on the door of their entrance dome. She smiled at me and said that I would find Luke out in the garage working on something. She seemed nice, unlike Mr. Lars. He?s what my mom calls a curmudgeon.

    Sure enough, Luke was there in the garage working on a vaporator. I think I startled him ?cause he dropped his hydrospanner and then blushed to the tips of his ears.

    He?s cuter than I remembered and has the most incredible blue eyes. He also has dimples. Mom always told me to stay away from guys with dimples--they were nothing but trouble. It took him only ten minutes to get my datapad working and then he proceeded to clean it and charge it up. And get this?he didn?t charge me a thing! He?ll never make a living that way, but maybe he was just trying to be nice. He certainly has a nice smile.

    He showed me around a bit?what he was working on and some things he had made. He?s really very smart and plans to go to the Academy after graduation. Of course he wants to be a pilot just like all the other moisture farmer?s sons want to be. But there?s something about him that makes me feel like he could do whatever he put his mind to.

    He?s not what I had imagined he would be like. After his initial shyness, he really opened up and was easy to talk to. I think we could be friends?I?m just not too crazy about those buddies of his.

    After graduation I'll be applying for the author scholarship program Mrs. Dason has been schooling me for. I don?t know what I would do without her. Oh, yes I do. I?d become some poor moisture farmer?s wife just like my mom. I decided a long time ago that I would not repeat my mother?s mistakes. If I am selected for the program, I?ll move to Coruscant and take classes there for three glorious years. Mrs. Dason says I?m sure to find a position on Coruscant afterwards.

    I just have to keep working hard, stay focused on my goals and avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.

     
  6. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Mrs. Lars answered when I knocked on the door of their entrance dome. She smiled at me and said that I would find Luke out in the garage working on something. She seemed nice, unlike Mr. Lars.

    These moms of teenaged boys - they're tricky. You can bet Beru suddenly found pressing housework to do near the garage and was straining to hear what was going on, and then gently prodded him all during dinner.:p

    I love how in character Luke is already. You have that early Luke down, a little goofy but really good natured. And a dreamer like your narrator, too.

    Terrific post, sister pilot! I think Luke will find an excuse to come visit. Was she smart enough to "forget" something over at the Lars house that he would have to return?;)
     
  7. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Boys with dimples are trouble! I'm married to one and somehow he keeps getting out of trouble just by smiling and showing his dimples. :oops:

    Quite a beginning for these two here... And she's right, his friends aren't really so great, are they?

    Nice update, gal! Your OC already has quite a voice. :D
     
  8. WyoJedi

    WyoJedi Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2005
    It took him only ten minutes to get my datapad working and then he proceeded to clean it and charge it up. And get this?he didn?t charge me a thing! He?ll never make a living that way, but maybe he was just trying to be nice. He certainly has a nice smile.

    Interesting that this girl goes on about his generous nature, then throws in the remark about his smile. Pretty smooth ;)

    I just have to keep working hard, stay focused on my goals and avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.

    Yeah right... like that's really going to happen :p

    Wonderful job with this entry JP. Loved it!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
     
  9. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    After graduation I'll be applying for the author scholarship program Mrs. Dason has been schooling me for. I don?t know what I would do without her. Oh, yes I do. I?d become some poor moisture farmer?s wife just like my mom. I decided a long time ago that I would not repeat my mother?s mistakes

    Hmmm... Famous last words, methinks. ;)


    I just have to keep working hard, stay focused on my goals and avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.

    LOL!! That's probably what the second Mrs. Skywalker said, too.

    :D


     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha WIP Month Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Hee!!!! Loved this entry!!! Glad the data pad works again. :) Not surprised at all Luke could fix it. :)

    Fave part:
    I just have to keep working hard, stay focused on my goals and avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.

    Ho lands!!!! When Mara met him, eventually, she had to tell herself the same thing! [face_laugh] [face_love] Good thing she didn't stick to it! :) ;)
     
  11. G__Anakin

    G__Anakin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Great Chapter Jade_Pilot
     
  12. Feng_Huang

    Feng_Huang Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 17, 2005
    avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes. :p I don't think many inmune systems can fight that bug. Great work.
     
  13. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Thank you for the birthday wishes, JP!! [:D]

    Onto the chapter. :D I've always thought Luke might have been home-schooled, but I love all the possibilities you have putting him in a mainstream school environment. Your OC brings up a lot of interesting observations about young Luke. Even then, he was good with "fixing things" and while shy he had a kind heart, too. The part where she goes on about how she feels Luke could accomplish anything he put his mind to was such a dear moment. The girl has got to admit: she's got feelings for the farmboy. ;)

    I love the innocent voice your OC has. I can't wait to find out more about her.

    She seemed nice, unlike Mr. Lars. He?s what my mom calls a curmudgeon.

    Haha! [face_laugh] I could imagine Luke's friends being scared of Owen Lars.

    Lovely chapter! =D= Dimples, blue eyes, and all!
     
  14. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    I have no problem seeing Luke as introverted. When we first met him in ANH, he was discontent to be a moisture farmer and already looking to the stars.

    I liked the tone(voice)of this character. I can already sense that she has the fire the draw Luke out. We know that Luke is drawn to spirited women(Ahem...Leia...Callista...Mara). But there is a voice of determination and assuredness. She, like Luke, does not want to be stuck on Tatooine, but she seemed harsh on her mother's decision to be a moistrure farmer's wife.

    Of course, I know little of this girl. She is a teenager and most teenagers are hard on their moms, right? ;)

    Does this girl have a name? Did I miss it.
     
  15. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Very intriguing! [face_thinking] I wonder if she ever gets off Tatooine...

    Can I hop on the PM train, please?
     
  16. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    He?s cuter than I remembered and has the most incredible blue eyes. He also has dimples. Mom always told me to stay away from guys with dimples--they were nothing but trouble. It took him only ten minutes to get my datapad working and then he proceeded to clean it and charge it up. And get this?he didn?t charge me a thing! He?ll never make a living that way, but maybe he was just trying to be nice. He certainly has a nice smile.

    Loved it! =D=
     
  17. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Divapilot: "These moms of teenaged boys - they're tricky. You can bet Beru suddenly found pressing housework to do near the garage and was straining to hear what was going on, and then gently prodded him all during dinner."

    You're darn tootin' she did! ;) Moms with boys know all about these new-fangled girls with ideas!! [face_devil] Thank you for reading, Sister pilot! [:D]


    ginchy: Boys with dimples are trouble! I'm married to one and somehow he keeps getting out of trouble just by smiling and showing his dimples.

    So THAT'S what you like so much about Luke!! ;) Thanks ginchy-girl! :) (Love the siggy)


    WyoJedi : Thank you, lil' brother! [:D] Well you know you guys have a way of distracting us at times!


    JediTrace: I just have to keep working hard, stay focused on my goals and avoid cute farmboys with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.LOL!! That's probably what the second Mrs. Skywalker said, too.

    [face_laugh] Really! Can ANYONE resist our farmboy's charms? Thank you for stopping by!

    Jade eyes: Thank you! [:D] I imagine Mara thinking EXACTLY the same thing! [face_laugh]


    G Anakin: Thank you! :)

    Feng_Huang : I don't think many inmune systems can fight that bug. [face_laugh] I know I can't! Thank you for reading!


    MirandaFair: I've always thought Luke might have been home-schooled,

    Very interesting! I'd never thought of that. I always imagined him being the geeky kid in the background who is smart, but not the star of the class. Thank you for reading, sweetie!

    brodiew: Congrats on the new 'puter! And of course for reading! :) Her name got a little lost in the warped datapad. I'll remedy that in the next post.

    Blue_Milkshake : I've added you to the PM train. She's pretty determined to get
    off Tatooine, but does she have the resources to do so? Thank you for reading.

    VaderLVR64 : Thank you Vadey! [:D]
     
  18. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    <Journal entry #7>

    You have to wonder at a set of parents that would name their only daughter Tani. The name itself is not unusual?I?m named after my maternal grandmother. But did they consider that when it?s paired with our last name of Dahl, that some kids would have so much fun twisting it around to taunt me?

    ?Tiny doll?tiny doll??

    Of course it doesn?t help that I?m just over a meter and a half. I also got that from my mom?s side of the family, along with my blonde hair and hazel eyes. What nobody can figure out is where I got my passion for writing. As far back as I can remember I?ve been writing stories. Momma says I?m her ?dreamer child.? She?d like nothing better than for me to marry a moisture farmer and remain here on Tatooine for the rest of my life. But not just any moisture farmer, oh no?only Biggs Darklighter will do.

    ?It?s just as easy to fall in love with a rich moisture farmer, as it is a poor one, Tani.?

    I think I?ve heard that sage piece of motherly advice everyday since I was in the 11 year academic cycle. Did I mention that I can?t stomach the sight of the Darklighters? Or how the rest of the farming community genuflects in their presence? And as for Biggs himself, there is not a more obnoxious boy on the planet. He was the one to originally come up with the nefarious sobriquet of ?Tiny Doll.? I loath the guy. As apparently do many others in school. Oh, they put up with him, but nobody really likes him?except Luke Skywalker.

    But Luke likes everyone. Even those degenerates he hangs out with sometimes. I hate how Fixer and Camie treat him. At first I thought he was weak, taking the abuse they heap on him, but now?now I think he?s just one of those people who try to get along with everyone. Apparently he sees something in Biggs that the rest of us have missed. There seems to be a lot more to Luke than I first thought there was.


    Prose piece for Mrs. Dason?s writing class:

    Tatooine Dichotomy

    The heated winds of daylight dance across the rugged precipices, softly caressing and burnishing the foundations in order to eradicate that which would impede their gentle flow. Warming?stroking?smoothing, these breezes waft against the slowly diminishing edifices that mark the existence of life.

    As the binary suns set over the vast horizon, the winds cool and begin their permutation into a tumultuous howl of madness. Whipping?scratching?screaming, these gusts claw their way through rock or palisade without care. For they know they have little time in which to rage against the obstacles that taunt them in the darkness.

     
  19. Lea-El

    Lea-El Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2005
    Names can be so annoying. I thought I reviewed on the previous post guess I got interrupted. Liked the meeting with Luke such a gentleman fixing her datapad.

    Look forward to more.
     
  20. WyoJedi

    WyoJedi Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2005
    I love this! Poor girl, getting picked on like that about her name... and shame on Biggs for instigating it all!

    You are really giving us a good impression of her personality and outlook on life. I love that she is not concerned about what someone is worth but what is inside. And how she sees Luke for the kindhearted person he is. Now you really have me cheering for these two to get together! Darn me and my romantic side :oops:

    And I really liked the assignment at the end. Such beautiful and thorough descriptions of Tatooine. Wonderfully done!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
     
  21. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Great post! Loved the little Marilyn Monroe paraphrase. [face_dancing]

    I like Tahni. And I feel sorry for her being picked on. She really wants more from life, more than what her world can offer. I can see how she and Luke would be kindred spirits in that regard. O:)

    (Interesting little bit there at the end. I was tempted to take out my red pen and start commenting but I'll leave that for DRL! [face_laugh] )

    =D= =D=
     
  22. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Seems there's not much to do on Tatooine but daydream while you work. I just wonder if Tani, like Luke, ever gets off-planet.

    Great update, as usual, gal! :D
     
  23. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha WIP Month Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    I also think Luke put up with a lot from his so-called friends just to get along. Glad Tani sees it that way too. :)
    Surprised that Biggs instigated the teasing though. o_O

    The prose piece/assignment at the end was lovely and vivid. :)

    Foot, JP! ;) Don't make me like this OC too much! [face_laugh] =D=
     
  24. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    I like this girl! :D Gotta admire someone who looks past the public image and money to what is really there.

    I think he?s just one of those people who try to get along with everyone. Apparently he sees something in Biggs that the rest of us have missed.

    Ah yes, that's our Luke. [face_love]

    Another wonderful entry!!


     
  25. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wonderful! =D=

    But Luke likes everyone. Even those degenerates he hangs out with sometimes. I hate how Fixer and Camie treat him. At first I thought he was weak, taking the abuse they heap on him, but now?now I think he?s just one of those people who try to get along with everyone. Apparently he sees something in Biggs that the rest of us have missed. There seems to be a lot more to Luke than I first thought there was.

    Loved this observation of Luke! It's really a joy to read this.

    =D=
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.