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Beyond - Legends Broken Promises **Dear Diary 2007 Challenge** Thanks for the nom!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jade_Pilot, Jan 3, 2007.

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  1. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Thanks for the PM!

    More insights into Luke. [face_thinking] Yeah, he certainly is one to look past first impressions and give everyone a second, and even third...chance.

    Really loved the prose piece at the end. Just beautiful--the way the winds seem to have a personality and nature is ever seeking to keep the different aspects in balance.
     
  2. Cpt_Typo

    Cpt_Typo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2006
    loved it. could you please add me to your pm list.
     
  3. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    I can relate to Tani's dilemma. My full name has been the brunt of many jokes. ;) Poor kid! And the Darklights? I get a kick out of her take on them.

    As the binary suns set over the vast horizon, the winds cool and begin their permutation into a tumultuous howl of madness.

    Tani is an aspiring writer! I wonder if there are any love letters to Luke in her future. [face_thinking] ;)

    These are great fun to read, my friend! [:D]
     
  4. verybusy

    verybusy Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2006
    I'm still in here although I have not much time... loved the update!:D

    cheers,

    VeryBusy
     
  5. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    A/N: I appreciate you all staying with me with this OC diary. :)

    Lea-El: Thank you! It's just beginning.

    WyoJedi: Thank you, dear brother. Perhaps Tani will show some of her romantic side, too. ;)

    divapilot: Thank you Sister-pilot! What I'd love to know is do any of your students know you post your wonderful ff here? Hmmmm? :)

    ginchy: There's still a lot to Luke and Tani's story. For now I'll just say more than one planet is involved. Thanks for reading, girlfriend!

    Jade eyes: Wow, girl! If I can make you like Tani than I know I've got a chance of making this Diary work. Thank you! [:D]

    Jedi Trace: Thank you. :) Our Luke always seems to bring out the best in most people, doesn't he?

    VaderLVR: Merci! And I'm loving your wonderful Diary. Will Han fall for your creative OC? [face_thinking]

    Blue milkshake: "Really loved the prose piece at the end. Just beautiful--the way the winds seem to have a personality and nature is ever seeking to keep the different aspects in balance."

    Thank you. I always think of Tatooine as a very spiritual place with a lot of mystery to it.

    Cpt Typo: Thank you for reading. :) (I've added you to the PM list)

    MirandaFair: Thank you, sweetie! I have a feeling that our Miss Tani will be fighting her attraction to Luke with everything she's got. Problem is...our farmboy is pretty irresistable!

    verybusy: Well I am very flattered that you read Broken Promises, verybusy! Thank you so much!
     
  6. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    <Journal Entry #8>


    Mr. Llewyn announced today that all 15 year students would be given a comprehensive mathematics pre-test this week. I?ve always struggled in this area. I try so hard to understand this stuff, but the highest grade I?ve ever received is a 78%. Mrs. Dason said I must receive at least an 85% to be considered for the university and a 90% if I want to qualify for the scholarship program.

    Without the scholarship, I won?t be going to Coruscant at all. It?s my only option. So, I?ll just have to spend the next few days pouring over the data. I even stooped so low as to ask Talyn for help. Of course he took the opportunity to tease me.

    ?How the mighty have fallen!? Talyn mocked. ?Imagine my brilliant sister coming to me for help in her school work.?

    ?It?s only mathematics, Talyn,? I said. ?You?ve always been better at that than I have.?

    He shook his head as he loaded the landspeeder with a shipment to take in to Anchorhead. ?I just don?t understand you, Tanea M?ai, why can?t you be happy in your life? Why do you always feel this need to be something that you?re not??

    I was shocked at his words and struggled a moment for something to say. ?Mrs. Dason believes I have talent. Mrs. Dason said I could go to a university and become a writer.?

    Talyn laughed. "Mrs. Dason means well, but she?s not from Tatooine. She doesn?t know our ways. You?re a moisture farmer?s daughter?someday you?ll be a moisture farmer?s wife. The sooner you accept this, the better off you?ll be.?

    ?Just because you?ve given up on your dreams and become a farmer, doesn?t mean I have to, also,? I said, drawing close to him and blocking his way.

    ?Tanea Ma?i,? he said, touching my cheek. ?I just don?t want to see you get hurt." He kissed my forehead and climbed into the vehicle. ?Besides, I didn?t give up on my dreams. I've always known I would be a moisture farmer, I just need to convince Litia that she would be happy as my wife.?

    I watched him speed away towards town, as tears blurred my vision. Could he be right? He is three years older than me and knows so much more of the world than I. Father and Talyn often talk about the market and how things are changing even here on Tatooine. For the most part the Emperor has left the outer core planets alone, but I hear that may be changing. There are whispers in town about the rebellion and the planets that may join.

    The annual farmer?s gathering at the Darklighter?s should be interesting this year. I?m sure there will be talk of the Empire and the new taxation laws.

    I wonder if Luke will be there?
     
  7. WyoJedi

    WyoJedi Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Such a sad thing that Tani's family give her the support she needs. Too many "realists" and not enough dreamers in that bunch!

    But I did like the last line where her thoughts turned back to Luke... :D Great update!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
     
  8. Lea-El

    Lea-El Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2005
    Brothers!:rolleyes: They just don't understand the need to write. I wonder how Luke does in math??

    Good work you pegged brothers.
    =D==D==D=
     
  9. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Tahni must be feeling very isolated and overpowered. Dreams as strong as hers are need to be nurtured, not dismissed.

    I hope Luke is there. He'd understand.
     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Woot! So Tania can't keep her mind off a certain somebody. :D ;) :)
    *sigh* Poor Tania, though. She's got a lot of dreams and a lot of talent. :( Be a shame to ... waste it. [face_thinking]
     
  11. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    The last line leaves me waiting on edge like Tani. I hope he's there too! He'd understand.

    Talyn laughed. "Mrs. Dason means well, but she?s not from Tatooine. She doesn?t know our ways. You?re a moisture farmer?s daughter?someday you?ll be a moisture farmer?s wife. The sooner you accept this, the better off you?ll be.?

    ?Just because you?ve given up on your dreams and become a farmer, doesn?t mean I have to, also,? I said, drawing close to him and blocking his way.


    I loved this part above because it really sets Tani's character apart from the others in her area and situation. Just having one person to support that dream burning inside is enough to help that person grow. I wonder if Luke will be that catalyst.

    Lovely and telling update. =D=
     
  12. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    Two great chapters, Jade. I like how Tani describes the Darklighters as the wealthy ones. She also seems to really dislike Biggs. He seems so much the BMOC at school, and I can see how that would turn off a girl like Tani. But Luke is mellow, and though Biggs is his best friend, he's not Biggs. Perhaps she did misjudge him.

    The most recent post has good insight into Tani's fears of faiilure. She is so excited about the potential to leave Tatooine, but also fearful of her chanced of making it happen. She also has to put up with her brother who, though trying to be protective, is really sapping her patience and confidence.

    I like your OC, Jade. She's complex. But how do we get from fearful school girl to vindictive ex wife? [face_thinking]

     
  13. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    I wonder if Luke will be there?

    Somehow, I think he might be! [face_laugh]

    Tani and Luke do have a lot in common. There are a lot of daydreamers on Tatooine, it seems, but even more people willing to knock them down!

    Great update, lady! :D
     
  14. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Poor thing! It's a terrible thing to watch your dreams die. :_|

    Talyn laughed. "Mrs. Dason means well, but she?s not from Tatooine. She doesn?t know our ways. You?re a moisture farmer?s daughter?someday you?ll be a moisture farmer?s wife. The sooner you accept this, the better off you?ll be.?

    ?Just because you?ve given up on your dreams and become a farmer, doesn?t mean I have to, also,? I said, drawing close to him and blocking his way.

    ?Tanea Ma?i,? he said, touching my cheek. ?I just don?t want to see you get hurt." He kissed my forehead and climbed into the vehicle. ?Besides, I didn?t give up on my dreams. I've always known I would be a moisture farmer, I just need to convince Litia that she would be happy as my wife.?


    =D=
     
  15. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    I wonder if Luke will be there?

    Maybe he could help you with that math? *hint, hint* [face_whistling]
     
  16. Cpt_Typo

    Cpt_Typo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2006
    loved it. can not wait for the next chapter.
     
  17. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    A/N: I swear some of y'all are looking over my shoulder as I write! ;)

    WyoJedi: I think it's the culture actually. There is such poverty there, that it takes the "salt of the earth" type of people to survive in it. They just don't understand Tani's dreams. Thank you for reading, lil brother!

    Lea-El: Well, of course Luke does very well in math! ;) Thanks for reading!

    divapilot: I think Tani feels very isolated. She could surely use a friend! ;) Thank you, Sister-pilot

    Jade eyes: "So Tani can't keep her mind off a certain somebody?"

    Who Can???! ;) Thank you for stopping by!

    MirandaFair: Good insights! I think he will understand her like no other! Thank you!

    brodiew: I don't think we'll see Tani become vindictive, but there are forces that endeavor to keep them apart. Thank you for reading.

    ginchy: Thank you! They will have to overcome a lot to fulfill their dreams.

    VaderLVR: Thanks, Vadey! Sometimes dreams are the only thing that keeps you going!

    Blue milkshake: You're just too astute! ;) Thank you!

    Cpt Typo: Thank you. New chapter every Monday!

     
  18. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    <Journal entry #11>

    MY LIFE IS OVER?IT?S JUST NOT FAIR! I WANT TO RUN OUT TO THE DUNE SEA AND THROW MYSELF ONTO THE SCORCHING SANDS UNTIL THERE?S NOTHING LEFT BUT MY DRIED OUT CARCASS OF WORTHLESS AMBITIONS!


    <Journal entry #12>

    I failed the mathematics pre-test.

    Mrs. Dason drew me aside before science class and showed me my flimsy. A 59%! She kept going on about how she?d had such faith in me and how I would have to hire a tutor. A tutor! My mother would never agree to that. She left saying she had to get my test back to Mr. Llewyn?s desk before he found it missing. I?ve never done so poorly on a test in my entire life!

    I thought school would never end. I couldn?t concentrate on anything, just tried to keep from breaking down in front of everyone. When I got to mathematics class, I could barely look anyone in the eye. When Mr. Llewyn handed out the tests, I took mine and jammed it into my pack. He told me I would have to do better. Stars man! Do you think so? Did you go to teacher?s college just to learn THAT?

    After my last class I bounded out of the building only to run right into Windy Starkiller. He grabbed me by the shoulders as I began to fall.

    ?Where are you going in such a hurry, [i]tiny doll??[/i]

    The rest of the kids started to laugh?but I couldn?t take it. The tears burst from my eyes. I turned and ran towards the [i]Weary Traveler [/i] cantina, running around back to hide. I fell against the building feeling the pourstone wall support me as I crumbled into a pile of worthless bantha fodder.

    Why do I have to be so different? Why do I feel things so deeply? I sat down on the ground, sobbing the essence of my soul out onto the barren sands around me. All the hurts and disappointments of my life spilled from my heart to be absorbed by this desolate land that would not let go. It whispered, taunting me?[i]you will never leave here Tania M?ai. Your dreams are the foolish idles of a child who refuses to accept her destiny. [/i]

    I sat inconsolable for several minutes until at last my cries were spent. I looked up and realized I was no longer alone. There a few meters away from me stood a man in a dark robe and hood. I must have looked startled because he extended his hand as if to calm me.

    ?There now, little one, I meant no harm.? He had an unusual voice and sounded much like Mrs. Dason with her inner core inflections.

    ?I?m not afraid,? I answered. ?And I am not little.?

    He drew back his hood and I could see he was an older man with a kind face and laughing blue eyes, but there was a sadness to them as well. ?Good, then we are sure to get on.? He paused as if taking my character. ?I believe you have missed your transport.?

    I stood up quickly, brushing the sand from my clothes and pulling my pack to me. ?My mother is sure to whip the skin off me when she sees I am not on it.?

    He frowned and I wondered if he thought me lacking. ?Then perhaps we can remedy the situation.? He gestured back towards school and I fell into step with him. His presence was soothing and I felt I could trust him even though he was a stranger. He was tall--I did not even meet his shoulder. He glanced down at me and smiled, almost as if?

    ?Well, I suppose I am little,? I admitted, feeling foolish for having been caught in my self pity.

    He turned and looked me full in the face. ?It has been my observation that size is usually not a true indication of one?s mettle.?

    I wondered at first if he meant to mock me, but then realized he did not. ?I have always thought so, yet have struggled with the perceptions of others who believe to the contrary.?

    He laughed and nodded. ?We have all had to deal with the prejudices of small minded individuals, have we not??

    I smiled and then lowered my head. ?Some more than others??

    We paused outside the school building as he looked around a bit. ?And may I ask if you do not think me impertinent, what has unsettled you so??

    My lower lip trembled as I sighed. ?I have lost the means to escape the impending darkness that casts its wretched shadow >
     
  19. WyoJedi

    WyoJedi Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Woohoo! Old Ben always knows the right things to say. It was nice to see him help her out of her slump.

    And she's getting a ride from Luke :D

    Great update! =D= More please.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
     
  20. Lea-El

    Lea-El Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2005
    Aaah!She got to meet Ben good! [face_dancing]

    Poor thing math is such an irritating subject. :mad: I hope she finds a tutor????

    Thanks for the PM@};-
     
  21. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    :cool: =D= :cool:
    Aha!!! So Luke's gonna drive her home, huh? :) ;)
    Loved her and Ben's conversation.
    Your dialogue just sparkles. :) [:D]
     
  22. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Uh oh! Riding in cars with BOYS?!?!?:eek:

    Tani! You wild thing. [face_worried]

    Love the teenage angst. Are you peeking into my classrooms? Sounds jsut like the dramas that go on between classes.[face_talk_hand]

    and this had me laughing out loud.

    He told me I would have to do better. Stars man! Do you think so? Did you go to teacher?s college just to learn THAT?

    Yup, that's what they teach ya. It's right there in the mandatory "Unneccesarily Obvious Comments" course. :p

    Sister Pilot, you've really caught the teenager voice here. And I loved Obi-Wan. I wonder if he was there to get Tani out of her shadows and into Luke's car. [face_thinking]

    Great post!=D=
     
  23. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    We paused outside the school building as he looked around a bit. ?And may I ask if you do not think me impertinent, what has unsettled you so??
    My lower lip trembled as I sighed. ?I have lost the means to escape the impending darkness that casts its wretched shadow before me.?


    Oh, that was so dramatic! Maybe Tani really should go into acting...

    ?Ah,? he said, nodding. We stood a moment longer until I saw a speeder headed our way. ?And how will you remedy your current dilemma??

    And the knight calls a cab for the damsel in distress. Obi-Wan, you sly old Jedi you! :cool:

    I love Ben's reactions throughout this post. You've got him spot on!
     
  24. Cpt_Typo

    Cpt_Typo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2006
    loved it. It was beautiful. can not wait for the next chapter.
     
  25. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Luke paused looking a bit puzzled. ?I?don?t know really. Just a feeling I had.?

    I turned back to say goodbye, but the old man was already walking back towards the market place.

    ?Ready to go?? Luke asked.

    ?Yes?funny, I didn?t even get his name.?

    ?Him?? Luke turned the speeder around and headed away from Anchorhead. ?That?s Ben Kenobi.?


    Interesting! [face_thinking]

    Looking forward to more! =D=
     
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