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Saga Broken - songfic (Shmi, Anakin, Padme, Leia, Luke) Thanks to everyone!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by AnakinsHeir, Oct 5, 2004.

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  1. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Based on the song Broken, lately recorded by Seether, featuring Amy Lee on vocals.


    Broken
    I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
    I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome
    And I don?t feel right when you?re gone away

    You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore.



    Shmi looked down at the object on her work counter and fought back the tears. Watto had not said a word, much like every other day since Anakin had left. But she could tell the Toydarian missed the little boy. Watto had lightened her work load as well, but not a word was said about that fact. And today, waiting for her like a gift from the gods, was the holograph.

    It was old and somewhat battered; it flickered and wavered but it was unspeakably dear to her. It had been taken years ago, when she and Anakin first became the property of the little alien. It was part of her son?s ownership packet, intended to be used for identification purposes if there was ever any question of a slave?s ownership. But Anakin was free now, and this was the only image she had of her son, other than the one that burned brightly in her own mind.

    It had been turned on and spinning slowly. There he was, a solemn little three year old boy. He had an uncertain look in his eyes. Even at that young age, he had known their lives were about to change. Change was not usually a good thing for a slave, and Anakin knew that. He had always been bright.

    He was gone and she was alone. But it was better this way. Even the hard and lonely life of a Jedi Knight was far better than the degradation and thankless toil of a slave?s life. She knew she was not alone in her pain. She had seen his fear with her mother?s eyes, and felt his grief with a mother?s heart. She sent her love to her faraway son and hoped he felt it, wherever he was.

    ******************************************

    The worst is over now and we can breathe again
    I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
    There?s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open
    And I don?t feel like I am strong enough
    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome
    And I don?t feel right when you?re gone away.


    Padmé twirled the pendant that she wore so close to her heart. It was a tangible symbol of the love she kept hidden away. She hummed a little tune she remembered from her childhood, a song her mother had sung to her when she was sick. It was the sound of comfort, of warm hands and a gentle touch. She needed that comfort right now, as she spent her days in solitary fear.

    Tucked away in a small chest was another secret. It was a wedding ring, created by the finest craftsman on Naboo. He had been an old man, bent with age. But his hands were as skilled as ever and the beauty of the ring still brought tears to her eyes.

    Anakin had given her that ring, and his heart along with it. She could still feel the touch of his lips on hers, the whisper of his vow in her ears. She remembered how right it had felt to finally be in his arms.

    He was not here with her now. She didn?t even know where he was or what he was doing. He was at war, like much of the galaxy. He could be dying on a faraway battlefield and she would not know until she saw some anonymous, official government communication, not even intended for her eyes. She had no place in his life, none that could be acknowledged.

    So she passed each day in desperation and prayer, hoping that she would not see that beloved name on a casualty list. She flinched at the sound of every door chime, hoping it would not be some representative from the Jedi to let her know that her ?friend,? young Skywalker had fallen to the enemy. But they would probably not bother to inform her. She was a dangerous nuisance in their eyes, keeping Anakin from his duties as a Jedi Knight.

    Her hands dropped to her belly, where
     
  2. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    :_| That was beautiful, AnakinsHeir. Nice job!
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    What a nice vignette! I liked how you tied the same theme to the three women in Anakin's life.

    It was old and somewhat battered; it flickered and wavered but it was unspeakably dear to her. It had been taken years ago, when she and Anakin first became the property of the little alien. It was part of her son?s ownership packet, intended to be used for identification purposes if there was ever any question of a slave?s ownership. But Anakin was free now, and this was the only image she had of her son, other than the one that burned brightly in her own mind.

    I think Shmi's part was my favorite. Great work.
     
  4. flowerbee

    flowerbee Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 29, 2004
    That was lovely! :_|

    And heartbreaking!
     
  5. Odd-Thomas

    Odd-Thomas Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Nicely done.
     
  6. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    That was beautiful. Well done. =D=
     
  7. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    I loved how you tied together all those characters, without ever having Anakin actually in it. Awesome!

    JS
     
  8. BrownEyes_Blue

    BrownEyes_Blue Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 29, 2002
    :_| :_| These viggies were wonderful....sad, but great. I almost cried when I was reading Shmi's viggie :_|.
     
  9. SenatorHermione

    SenatorHermione Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 21, 2004
    That was lovely! I liked how you brought all three women into it, but Anakin himself was never there. Wonderful!
     
  10. Jedi_Chani

    Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Had he known he had children somewhere out there in the galaxy? Would he have cared if he did know? She glanced up at the sky, where the brother she loved and the father she hated would soon be locked in battle.

    Loved all three viggies, but I think I liked Leia's best. Great job.
     
  11. CapNJaxWench

    CapNJaxWench Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    What a sweet and touching vignette! Three different women and three very different sorrows as they miss someone they love. Nice work.
     
  12. Starrunner

    Starrunner Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 29, 2003
    :_|

    All 3 parts were great
    Good job
     
  13. DreamOfKenobi

    DreamOfKenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    I love this song, and to see it used in such an amazing set of vignettes was awesome. Loved it.
     
  14. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Oh, excellent piece. I loved how you explored the effect Anakin had on the lives of these women.

    But Anakin was free now, and this was the only image she had of her son, other than the one that burned brightly in her own mind.

    This broke my heart.

    She didn?t even know where he was or what he was doing. He was at war, like much of the galaxy. He could be dying on a faraway battlefield and she would not know until she saw some anonymous, official government communication, not even intended for her eyes. She had no place in his life, none that could be acknowledged.

    This also was especially poignant, the fact that Padme had to hide her worry for Anakin and knowing that if something happened to him, she would basically be the last to know.

    Leia stared at Luke as he walked away. Her brother! She had a brother. She had thought herself completely alone and now she had been given a brother. But the brother did not come alone.

    I really liked this. It shows Leia's conflicting emotions so well. She is glad to have a brother, but that also means she must admit that she is Vader's daughter.

     
  15. Handmaiden Yané

    Handmaiden Yané Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2002
    That was...so beautiful! I loved it! It was just so excellently written!! It made me cry...wonderful, wonderful stuff here.
     
  16. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Thank you to whoever nominated me! I'm shocked!

    amidalachick Thank you, I don't know what else to say.



    VaderLVR64 I've always liked Shmi very much.



    flowerbee Thank you for commenting, I appreciate it.



    Odd-Thomas Thank you.


    JediMaster_Jen You are very kind. Thank you.


    Jazz_Skywalker Anakin is there, but not there, isn't he? Thank you for reading this songfic.


    browneyesblue Shmi was my favorite as well.


    SenatorHermione Thank you very much.


    Jedi_Chani I'm very glad you liked this.


    Starrunner Thank you so much, I'm very happy you liked it.


    DreamOfKenobi Thanks! :)


    Gina I very much appreciate you reading this, I'm a great admirer of your work. Thank you.


    Handmaiden_Yane I don't know what to say, your words are very, very kind. Thank you so much.



     
  17. cleveland1000

    cleveland1000 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Very nicly done as always AH
     
  18. LaYa_

    LaYa_ Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2003
    :_| Great songfic, but so sad!
     
  19. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh that was great!!! And of course the song too! :D

    Loved the last part though with Leia's thoughts! Great job on all three! From Shmi to Padme to finally Leia! Totally chillingly and sad!
     
  20. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    I love this song! How did I miss this the first time?

    :_|


    So sad!


    :_|



     
  21. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    cleveland1000 Thank you! :p



    LaYa_ Thank you and yes, it was sad. But so is their story! :_|



    Kynstar Thank you, and congrats on your awards!



    VadersMistress I'm glad you read it now! :D




    I just wanted to thank everyone who voted for this songfic. I am honored and surprised I got nommed for anything. And the new author vote was a shock! Thank you to everyone! [:D]
     
  22. WhosScruffyLooking

    WhosScruffyLooking Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2004
    This was beautiful and sad and powerful! :_|
     
  23. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Wow, that was really good. The three people in Anakin's life . . . mother, wife, and daughter.

    You really captured the tragedy of all three very well. Many kudos!
     
  24. Alethia

    Alethia Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Very beautiful. I love how you set this up, with the three Skywalker women. It just left me with this nice feeling after reading it. Wonderful.
     
  25. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    WhosScruffyLooking Totally cool user name! And thank you.




    Maychorian Thank you, and I hope I did them all justice.



    Alethia Anakin had three strong, amazing women in his life, too bad he didn't keep them! :(
     
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