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Saga BROTHER, MINE - - - OT- era Vader story - - - Final Replies 8/28

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by geo3, Jul 11, 2004.

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  1. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    *unlocked and upped and by request.

    This is a new story, and my first venture into the era of the Original Trilogy. Brother, Mine is the story of a lone Jedi who survived the Purge, and his quest to find Darth Vader. I expect it to be five or six posts long.

    Those of you who know my other stories may recognize our (ex-)Jedi, but for the purposes of this particular tale, that's not too important. You may also recognize some other characters (both canon and original) along the way, but I don't want to give them away quite yet.


    As with all such tales, the usual disclaimers apply. George Lucas and Co. own everything; I'm just a storyteller.

    The first part begins with the post below. I hope you enjoy it!
     
  2. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Brother, Mine

    By Geo3


    You cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked;
    For they stand together before the face of the sun even as the black thread and the white are woven together.
    And when the black thread breaks, the weaver shall look into the whole cloth, and he shall examine the loom also.

    -----Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet



    (1)

    Finding Darth Vader is a lot harder than most people might think.

    Not that anyone in his right mind would want to attract the Dark Lord?s notice. In fact, most sentient beings in the Galaxy want to avoid it at all costs. Vader serves as the universal fiend of the Empire ? the supernatural creature that is said to be everywhere and anywhere, and from whom no one feels safe.

    His is the dark shape that people expect to see when they look over their shoulders at night.

    He is the demon that parents conjure to frighten their children into behaving.

    Throughout the Galaxy so many incidents, so many events are attributed to Vader personally that he would have to be omnipotent to be behind them all. And many believe that he is. The idea of Vader, as much as the actual man ? if he is a man ? darkens the Galaxy from one side to the other.

    But actually finding him? That?s another story entirely. He could be anywhere. He certainly doesn?t announce his itinerary; surprise visits on his unfortunate victims are a major part of the mythos that surrounds him. Even if you did happen to be in the same part of the Galaxy and wanted to seek him out, unless you were part of a very small military or ruling elite, you?d have to get through a vast army just to get close to him. And any criminal or political prisoner or informant who is noteworthy enough to attract the laser beam of Vader?s personal attention is still more likely to be dealt with by his subordinates than to fall into the hands of Vader himself.

    So no matter what the Galaxy?s populace believes, the odds are very small that someone like Vader would pay the slightest attention to any old insignificant speck of life in the Galaxy. Like me, for instance.

    But now I need to find him. The real Vader, not the myth.

    I don?t expect it to be an adventure from which I will escape alive. But since it was Vader who shattered my life in the first place, dying by his hand would at least imbue all those lost years with a kind of poetic symmetry.

    ?Hey you!? an impatient voice yells from somewhere behind me. ?Are yer boarding, or what??

    One of the consequences of spending too much time alone and silent is that your thoughts and memories tend to take over, so that separating them from reality takes a bit of effort. This time, the sharp voice together with the sting of wind-blown sand on my face brings me very quickly back to the here and now.

    I had tied a ragged strip of cloth over my eyes to protect them from the midday glare of this obscure desert planet?s twin suns. Now, in the sudden beginnings of a sandstorm, I am grateful for the makeshift protection. I can?t see much through the narrow slit I had left open, but it doesn?t really matter. There isn?t much to see. And I always can rely on the Force to guide me.

    ?Coming,? I call, into a stiff gust of wind that rips my voice into even more of a croak. I tend to use words sparingly. Only what is needed, when it is needed. It?s so much safer that way.

    I hurry. I?m fortunate to have found a way off this desolate, overheated rock at all.

    It has taken me nearly a week to find transport to the Yavin system. Almost no one is conducting business as usual. After the destruction of Alderaan, much traffic throughout the Galaxy, even the illicit traffic, has come to a standstill while its denizens pause to overcome their shock and grief and to reassess their beliefs about the state of their universe. There are few reasons why someone without official business there would be willing to give me passage anywhere near an Im
     
  3. isola

    isola Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2004
    I don't know where to begin with all the things that I think are great about this story. I think the voice you've created for the narrator is awesome. I adore Vader, but I'm actually more interested in what happens to the narrator. There were several beautiful turns of phrase as well. I think the way you intertwined what he was thinking with the rather harsh reality was masterful. So in short, I'm beggin for more!
     
  4. TheNabooSenator

    TheNabooSenator Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2004
    Poulin! He survived the Purge!

    ?You must forget that you were ever a Jedi, Poulin Brith.?

    ?But M-Master!? I?d stammered, as I tended to do in times of stress, ?what am I supposed to do now??

    ?Live, Poulin,? he had said gently. So gently. ?You are supposed to live.?


    That is so sad, so heartbreaking... The crushed hopes of the Padawans who were never knighted... :_| I can't get over how 'mature' Poulin is in this story. How old and seasoned, almost like a younger Kenobi, but he still retains the uniqueness of the young teenager that you invented in Winds of Change.

    That was then; now I am following the needle of the compass called Vader. But he doesn't need to know that.

    Why? Why is he looking for Vader now. Especially after Alderaan? To kill him? To save him? :confused: Whatever the reason, I can trust you to blow me out of the water with it. :) 5 or 6 more posts? I can't wait! :D

     
  5. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    You know, it seems that I've seen this somewhere before.... ;)

    As I said on that other site, I await this with great interest. As you know, I have great interest in Anakin Skywalker, First Lord Darth Vader of Vjun (Yes, I know that implies a second Lord Vader etc. You'll have to wait for the great game and understand that some people have a different view of that title than others), and his reactions to his 'friends'.


    I am particularly intrigued by the dichotomy of the concept of Vader opposed to the real Vader.

    As always, I can't wait for more, birthday girl(it lasts at least the weekend you know. :) ).
     
  6. tvdunlop

    tvdunlop Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 15, 2003
    very touching, i wondered at first if it was Obi Wan and then i realized it couldn't be. I like the narration and I wonder what his mission is as well...good work.
     
  7. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    ?You must forget that you were ever a Jedi, Poulin Brith.?

    Awesome! Poulin lives again!

    I loved the way you waited before mentioning his name, but you sure stunned me when I read that sentence above.

    Great beginning, geo3! I can't wait to see the next installment!

    Jazz
     
  8. Mr_Boba_Jango

    Mr_Boba_Jango Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002

    Once again Geo you lure me into your story like a seasoned fisherman. And once again, I?m hooked. ;)

    Your decision to write this in first person was a pleasant surprise and excellent choice. Considering that Poulin Brith is one of my all time favorite original characters, I can?t think of a better mind to explore in a fanfic. I always thought the relationship between Anakin and Poulin was quite special. I hope he achieves his goal of finding his long lost brother Jedi. And if he does, I can?t wait to see how Vader reacts in his presence.

    Looking forward to your next post.

    MBJ

     
  9. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    I'm new to your stories so I'm not familiar with this character but it doesn't matter - I like him. Very good beginning. Loved the background presented in the flashbacks. I hope he finds what he's looking for.
     
  10. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    :eek: Great start Geo! This is a neat idea, and made me think.... I guess Vader is one of the only Jedi left! (from a certain point of view). If its anything like your other masterpieces, we're in for quite a treat! I'm looking forward to the next post.
     
  11. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Comment from the peanut gallery:

    See? I *told you so* [face_devil]
     
  12. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Yay! It's up! :D

    Glad you decided to post this here, geo. :)

    Poor Poulin. :( I can't imagine how much survivor's guilt he must be dealing with.

    Looking forward to seeing what happens when he meets Vader.
     
  13. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Off to a great start - I'm glad to see that Poulin survived the Purges. It's hard to see that innocent teen in the weary, hardened man on the transport. It will be interesting to see how much the old Poulin comes out when he finally meets up with Vader.

    And since Tracy already told on me, yes, I'm reading A Singular Touch of Grace as well. ;)
     
  14. qingauk

    qingauk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2002
    Oh boy! another Geo3 story! How are you juggling two at the same time? Amazing girl.. this is going to be a great one by tone of the intro. Keep me posted. I love your writing .
     
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    To say this story is amazing is a vast understatement. I found myself so anxious to read the next words and then sorry when it was over. That is, for me at least, the sign of a compelling piece of work!

    But now I need to find him. The real Vader, not the myth.

    I don?t expect it to be an adventure from which I will escape alive. But since it was Vader who shattered my life in the first place, dying by his hand would at least imbue all those lost years with a kind of poetic symmetry.


    This is simply beyond words. Let me just say; Take a bow! Incredible! I can't wait for more!!!!!

     
  16. Animuse

    Animuse Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2004

    Sometimes stories cry out to be told in such loud voices that you write them just to shut them up - Stephen King
     
  17. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Oooo! The Poulin/Vader story! :D

    Great start to it. I love the idea that it's not actually that easy to find Vader if you want to - not that anyone would want to, of course, but still. It makes perfect sense.

    So Poulin got to Tatooine too late? :eek: The poor guy! :_| He must be worried sick for Obi-Wan and Luke...

    Looking forward to more. :)
     
  18. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Wow, a surviving Jedi, this connection with Vader, the seeking out on Tatooine. "I was lost..." Beautiful and I respectfully beg for more!
     
  19. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    isola I don't know where to begin with all the things that I think are great about this story. I think the voice you've created for the narrator is awesome. I adore Vader, but I'm actually more interested in what happens to the narrator. There were several beautiful turns of phrase as well. I think the way you intertwined what he was thinking with the rather harsh reality was masterful. So in short, I'm beggin? for more!

    What a great first reply to receive on a new story! I?m very glad that you like the narrator that you think he has a distinctive ?voice.? OC?s are always tricky to present to a new audience. Thank you so much!

    TheNabooSenator Poulin! He survived the Purge!

    He did. I vowed a long time ago that he would ? I needed him as an eyewitness (and actor) for later events. Besides, I?m awfully attached to him!

    That is so sad, so heartbreaking... The crushed hopes of the Padawans who were never knighted...

    If they even survived?

    I can't get over how 'mature' Poulin is in this story. How old and seasoned, almost like a younger Kenobi, but he still retains the uniqueness of the young teenager that you invented in Winds of Change.

    I guess he must be about 38 now, which is still young but he?s had a very tough two decades. I?m very glad you think he?s still Poulin, though.

    Why? Why is he looking for Vader now. Especially after Alderaan? To kill him? To save him? Whatever the reason, I can trust you to blow me out of the water with it. 5 or 6 more posts? I can't wait!

    [face_blush] Thanks so much!

    GunraysLawyer I await this with great interest. As you know, I have great interest in Anakin Skywalker, First Lord Darth Vader of Vjun (Yes, I know that implies a second Lord Vader etc. You'll have to wait for the great game and understand that some people have a different view of that title than others), and his reactions to his 'friends'.

    Anakin Skywalker, First Lord Darth Vader of Vjun? OK, THAT needs an explanation?

    I am particularly intrigued by the dichotomy of the concept of Vader opposed to the real Vader.

    So am I!

    tvdunlop very touching, i wondered at first if it was Obi Wan and then i realized it couldn't be. I like the narration and I wonder what his mission is as well...good work.

    Thanks very much!

    Jazz_Skywalker Awesome! Poulin lives again! I loved the way you waited before mentioning his name, but you sure stunned me ?

    I meant to!

    Mr_Boba_Jango Once again Geo you lure me into your story like a seasoned fisherman. And once again, I?m hooked.

    :D

    Your decision to write this in first person was a pleasant surprise and excellent choice.

    Thanks! It?s my first venture into it. [Qui-gon voice]Very dangerous![/Qui-gon voice] We?ll see how it goes.

    Considering that Poulin Brith is one of my all time favorite original characters, I can?t think of a better mind to explore in a fanfic. I always thought the relationship between Anakin and Poulin was quite special. I hope he achieves his goal of finding his long lost brother Jedi. And if he does, I can?t wait to see how Vader reacts in his presence.

    Your encouragement brings warm feelings to my heart!As I said above, I didn?t want to give him up to Vader and the Purge. So I flexed my author muscles, and saved him. But then, I couldn?t keep him away from Vader forever?

    RebelMom I'm new to your stories so I'm not familiar with this character but it doesn't matter - I like him.

    I?m glad!

    Very good beginning. Loved the background presented in the flashbacks. I hope he finds what he's looking for.

    Thanks! I guess we?ll see whether he does?

    rhonderoo Great start Geo! This is a neat idea, and made me think.... I guess Vader is one of the only Jedi left! (from a certain point of view). If its anything like your other masterpieces, we're in for quite a treat! I'm looking forward to the next post.

    Masterpieces! [
     
  20. TheNabooSenator

    TheNabooSenator Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2004
    That is so sad, so heartbreaking... The crushed hopes of the Padawans who were never knighted...

    If they even survived?


    Actually I meant that the insignificant as it would have seemed at the moment, the blow of not reaching Knigthood would have been a hard one to sustain for someone who had spent his whole life climbing towards that goal. I know from experience. When the civil war started in my country, all I could think of was that I would not be able to star in 'Swan Lake'. It's silly but human beings have rather selective focus. [face_plain]
     
  21. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    TheNabooSenator Actually I meant that the insignificant as it would have seemed at the moment, the blow of not reaching Knigthood would have been a hard one to sustain for someone who had spent his whole life climbing towards that goal. I know from experience. When the civil war started in my country, all I could think of was that I would not be able to star in 'Swan Lake'. It's silly but human beings have rather selective focus.

    Oh, Heavens, yes. I can only imagine being thwarted in that way by outside events that are entirely beyond one's control. It's not silly at all. We are part of a much larger world, but the only lives we can live are our own.

    * * *


    Here is the next part of the story:



    (2)

    I know that I am dreaming again, but there is not much I can do about it.

    Predictably, in my dream I am back on Tatooine. It irritates me. Haven?t I finally found passage off this Force-forsaken planet?

    I thrash around, and whack one elbow painfully on the sloping wall that forms the back of the narrow slab of a bunk that I seem to be lying on. I rouse just enough to confirm that I am, indeed, in the tiny sleeping cabin of the PellMell. I am alone, for the moment ? the other bunk is unoccupied. Cradling my throbbing elbow with my hand, I drift back into semi-sleep. The same dream is still there, where it has been lying in wait for me.

    (Jedi don?t dream)

    I have long dreamed extensively and vividly, but since the Force-disruption brought about by Alderaan?s screaming death, this one recurring dream has taken on such urgency, such? dimension? for lack of a better word, that it even tries to follow me into wakeful states. There, I usually can ignore it. In sleep, there is no escaping from it.

    I?ve tried to tell myself that it?s not a dream; it is merely a persistent memory. Yet each time it returns, I re-live it with the same freshness, and the same power. And each time it changes slightly. Images are added. The shadows grow longer. My sense of urgency increases.

    The dream always begins the same way. I?m back in the hot, dusty, crowded main street of that run-down town on that insignificant desert planet so far away in the Outer Rim that it barely even attracts an Imperial presence. It is market day in Mos Eisley, and I am there because I am desperate for some diversion after nearly three weeks spent in for what is, for all intents and purposes, indentured labor for the Hutt.

    I have some small reputation as a healer. I suppose it?s not surprising that I fell into that profession as a way of finding a place for myself in the Galaxy ? such as it is. To a well-trained Force-adept, many of the illnesses and injuries that plague beings of all kinds and origins are fairly easily dealt with. I learned early on that the trick lay not in the healing itself, but in how successfully I disguised the ease with which I do it. In those terrible early years I learned, through the pain of persecution and several near-captures as a rogue Jedi, that open, honest use of the Force in the ways I had been trained was a death sentence. I learned to stay on the less-developed fringes of the Galaxy. And little by little, I taught myself the lore of local medicines in the cultures I travel through, hiding my too-efficient ministrations behind the plant extracts and potions and incantations that my patients understand and trust.

    Somehow, this skill brought me to the notice of the famed gangster clan of the Outer Rim. Three years ago they sent one of their agents to find me and bring me back to their base of operations on Tatooine. Apparently, their too eager toying with and testing of some new weapons had damaged an unacceptable number of their ranks, and they wanted the problem fixed. Although they paid me a substantial fee for my services, it was clear that I wasn?t being given a choice about whether to take up their offer. So I went, expecting nothing.

    (A calm mind holds no expectations.)

    They worked me hard, and then finally, when the suffering minions of the
     
  22. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Love his background on Tatooine, the mysterious or maybe not so mysterious rescuer, the cliffhanger.
     
  23. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Another amazing chapter! Loved the rescue by the blue eyed boy on Tatooine. You've done a wonderful job with this character, he's very real and complex. Nice work!
     
  24. Mr_Boba_Jango

    Mr_Boba_Jango Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002

    But it?s not his features that mesmerize me, it?s light that surrounds him. The pure, shining light of the Force, which clearly loves him as I have only ever seen it love one other.

    I love this description of ?the blue eyed boy?, that the son of Skywalker would cause an unprepared Force sensitive being to stagger in his presence. Beautiful imaging.

    Can?t wait for more.

    MBJ

     
  25. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Very, very good. [face_love]

    I love the descriptions of Tatooine--you showed the reader that the setting was far too vivid to just be a dream, you made us feel, as Poulin did, that we were living it.

    Poulin's fear of using the Force because Jedi are hunted, his unexpected encounter with Luke, which staggers him, his desire to focus only on Luke, who is of the Light Side of the Force, and to block out Vader...very well done.

    His memories of "Anakin's screaming death" and his survivor's guilt are enough to break our hearts.

    How is it possible that he could have destroyed us so completely? How is it possible that I am the only survivor? Me, of all people? Why was I still alive when all the others had died? I was the least of them all.

    :_| :_| I've never experienced survivor's guilt and I certainly hope I never have to, but this is how I always imagined it to be.
     
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