Saga BROTHER, MINE - - - OT- era Vader story - - - Final Replies 8/28

That was so well done that I hardly have words. May I just say, impressive!

 

Very interesting what happened there. I love Poulin's description of Luke, and how he squeezed it out of his dying breath like that, very touching. To be continued, eh? Can't wait to see how this continues.

 

Once again.. once again you reduced me to tears. Why must you be so brilliant?! This waws the best Vader I've read, he is a bit different from what I've read before - much darker, maybe being Force-sensitive one'd feel his presence like that, unlike the 3 -dimensional view of normal beings. I can't think of anything coherent now (have a killer headache but that's another story), but I must say your characterisations are dead on and beyond.
(Oh and I listened to that song again, still matches it but it wasn't dark enough for this chapter.)

 

<de-lurking>

Incredible.....just incredible.

 

Here's another wow to add to your already impressive list of wows. It was a great encounter. so glad Poulin finally realized why he did what he did and accepted his fate peacefully.

Now it is just a matter of did Vader kill him or just make him unconscious.

 

Poulin was the one who told Vader about Luke??!!! [face_shocked]

Unexpected, that was!

--MissPadme

 

ZOWEE, WOWEE.. I am so blown away. I could picture this scene so perfectly. You keep outdoing yourself and I will never know how. I was so riveted to my screen for this that I did not answer the phone!
Your job with Vader and his deep feelings for his son..that little spark of light in him .. is just perfect. I do hope he spares Poulin's life. But then that would not be Vader-like ..patiently waiting for the conclusion.

 

?I never took you for a fool,? Vader says finally. If such a distorted voice could ever growl, it just has. And I am suddenly, insanely, hopeful. I never took you for a fool. To my starved heart the words are a ringing acknowledgement that we shared a past. I barely can believe it.


With these words begins perhaps the most pitch perfect piece of fan fic that I have ever read. Hell, it may be one of the most pitch perfect pieces of any fic that I have ever read.

You manage to do what I attempted in 'To Absent Friends'. You do it better and more clearly than I could hope to acheive.

Here we see that Vader and Anakin are the same man. Anakin is just trapped in a prison made of his own fear and guilt. He despairs and does evil, almost unthinkingly. He believes in his own irredeamibility.

Brith gives him a key to his prison, just as I had my OC try to do by using an offer to kill Kenobi for Vader to segue into trying to convince Vader that it was all right to both still love his wife and to forgive himself for her death. You just do is such a sublime way that I am at a loss for words.

Beautiful, simply Beautiful.

 

It is an extraordinary lesson in humility. I, who thought that I lived the humblest existence possible, actually have carried with me the arrogance ? the false pride ? of believing that I am something so special, so extraordinary, that I had to hide from him. That if Darth Vader found me, it would matter.

This passage I felt was very well written. It shows Poulin?s evolving thoughts throughout this chapter. When he first sees Vader, he believes that he cannot make a difference or turn the tide, but later on in this chapter, he comes to the realization that it was the will of the force that brought him to this point and that even if it is a small action, it will grow to be monolith to the course of the future. This meeting with Vader has now planted enough doubt in Vader?s mind to forever change the course of the future- for the better. Exceptional characterization! Can't wait to see what happens next!

 

Just now catching up, which means I guess I missed having to bite my nails over the cliffie...

Such is the power of the Dark Side, Master Yoda said, that its lightest touch, the merest brush of its presence, strangles joy and strives to imprison the soul.

Good description--I'm thinking of the Dementors in the Harry Potter series, which I always thought were a good personification of how it feels to be depressed. I imagine being in the presence of the Dark Side would be the same way--having every happy feeling sapped out of you so that you wonder if you will ever feel anything good again.

Vader?s presence on this ship is like a blight on my soul. It is taking most of my strength to battle the sense of foreboding that wants to creep through my veins, and a heavy feeling like grief weighs down my heart. I feel as though I can barely breathe. It?s hard to think clearly. The only thing that seems to be flourishing is my capacity for self-doubt. I bitterly regret the choice I?ve made to seek out this dark thing.

Again, another good description.

I also love the vision of Anakin being trapped in agony--I firmly believe that that is how he really feels inside that suit--not "twisted and evil", but screaming to get out, to not allow the Dark Side to suck out his soul.

Poulin's desire to protect Luke--again, I love it.

And boy, was that a bad time for the guards to come get Poulin to see Vader. I suspect Vader knew it was a bad time, as well.

There is nothing familiar about him. Nothing.

Sounds like how Obi-Wan felt.

And the confrontation...



I said, "Oh, God," loud enough that my husband came in to see what was going on. I could almost physically feel Poulin's pain when Vader knocked him down--that was how well you described it.

And I could definitely feel his fear--his fear of dying, and his fear that he had basically signed Luke's death warrant by going to his father.

This made me cry: ?You not understand whom you are dealing with. I am no longer who I was!? Same reason the "It's too late for me, son," always brings me to tears.

?I know what you are.?

He hits me across the face so hard that I think I pass out for a few moments.

The truth hurts, doesn't it, Anakin?

Or is he turning away from my unexpected faith in him? Is that the greatest threat of all?

Love and faith are the enemies of hatred and fear--I wonder if this isn't a major theme of the Star Wars saga. And you've demonstrated that here. I wouldn't have been able to go nearly as far as Poulin went in the past few scenes--but then again, I'm no Jedi.

?I serve the Force.?

And herein lies Poulin's strength.

At last, at last, I give myself over entirely to the patient and radiant light of the Force, and I let Vader be.

He raises his hand in an unfamiliar gesture, and my awareness begins to dim. From a great distance I think I hear him say, ?Your light shines too brightly.? After that there is ?nothing?



Poor, poor Poulin. I hope he finds his peace--he certainly deserves it.

Excellent posts my friend.

 

That was amazing! Easily the best out of a wonderful collection of posts. I'm speechless and breathlessly awaiting your next post!

 

Well I had the best of intentions to keep up on everything during this last couple months, but alas I stumbled. I kept printing out your posts and storing them in the to-be-read folder. And finally I have managed to catch up!

So here is the best thing about reading posts 1 thru 6 in one sitting - I didn't have to suffer the evil post 5 cliffie

And here is the worst thing about reading posts 1 thru 6 in one sitting - It ended with an even worse cliffie in post 6!

With that said, it's been an enjoyable read. Your mastery of introspection and character insight have shown through. Poulin was and is one of my favorite all-time OCs so it was nice to see him with a starring role!

Without reposting them, there were some parts that were just brilliant: Poulin's encounter with Luke, the time spent with Obi-Wan, Vader's rage during the interview with Poulin. And that is just to name a few.

Well done! I guess this tale is not far from over so I am glad to have caught up with the pack.

 

It seems DRL's strangehold on me is annoyingly persistent... So I wanted to be sure to let you know I read the latest post - and I loved it.

The Poulin/Vader showdown - albeit a spiritual and emotional one, rather than a duel - was all I expected and more! If Poulin did not think of himself as a Jedi Knight before now, he has certainly earned that title with his deeds now. (May cost him his life, but...) And your characterization of Vader... Wow. So chillingly believable - very dark, and unrepentantly so (it seems), and yet with a core of Anakin's personality still apparent. Very well done, my friend.

I'll try to return soon with a few comments on my very favorite parts.

 

Many thanks to all of you for your kind and supportive responses. This was the first time I've tackled Vader, and I was amazed at how much I sweated it. There's something about him that demands to be done just right. I'm gratified that you think I was in the ballpark.

DarthIshtar Holy cheese...so that's how it all came together. So believable, so hold-my-breath-worthy.

Why, thank you! *holy cheese* LOL!

rhonderoo Wow. *Is speechless* Wow. *Can't help hoping that the little, tiny bit of Anakin lets Poulin live*...but I guess not. That was amazing, geo.

Thanks so much!

VaderLVR64 WOW! Okay, once more for emphasis. WOW! That last chapter was the best yet, the meeting between these two, Jedi and Sith, was simply amazing!

Thank you!

Poulin's description of Luke actually brought tears to my eyes. Incredible work...simply incredible.

Wow! I?m so glad!

Mr_Boba_Jango Beautiful! What a brilliant idea for a story Geo3. And you wrote it so believably. Even though we really want them to hug and cry in each other?s arms, we all know how the saga goes. Your Vader was pure Vader. Still? Poulin did reach him through the armor. And that?s all he set out to do?to plant the seed that Luke could later nurture. Anakin has no idea that his path has just been quietly rerouted toward the road to redemption.

I couldn?t have said it better myself! Bravo to you, and thanks so much!

AnakinsHeir That was so well done that I hardly have words. May I just say, impressive!

Thank you!

bobilll Very interesting what happened there. I love Poulin's description of Luke, and how he squeezed it out of his dying breath like that, very touching. To be continued, eh? Can't wait to see how this continues.

Thanks! Yes, there is one more part to go.

Ana_Labris Once again.. once again you reduced me to tears. Why must you be so brilliant?! This was the best Vader I've read, he is a bit different from what I've read before - much darker, maybe being Force-sensitive one'd feel his presence like that, unlike the 3 -dimensional view of normal beings. I can't think of anything coherent now (have a killer headache but that's another story), but I must say your characterizations are dead on and beyond. (Oh and I listened to that song again, still matches it but it wasn't dark enough for this chapter.)

It?s amazing to hear this, because it took me along time to work up the courage to write Vader. He?s just so hard to get? right. I?m really glad you think I got close. As for the more-that-3-D-view; it just seemed to me that when a Jedi encounters a Sith there has to be WAY more going on than meets the eye.

Jedi Trace <de-lurking> Incredible....just incredible.

Thanks so much for de-lurking! I?m glad you think the story is worthwhile.

RebelMom Here's another wow to add to your already impressive list of wows. It was a great encounter. So glad Poulin finally realized why he did what he did and accepted his fate peacefully. Now it is just a matter of did Vader kill him or just make him unconscious.

Thanks! Wows are good, and much appreciated!

MissPadme Poulin was the one who told Vader about Luke??!!! [face_shocked] Unexpected, that was!

Well, I?ve always wondered exactly how Vader found out who that pesky rebel pilot was at the end of ANH: ?the Force is strong with this one?. Suddenly, at the beginning of ESB, he knows the pilot?s name and he?s tearing up the Galaxy, obsessed with finding his son...

I just imagined ?what if??

qingauk ZOWEE, WOWEE.. I am so blown away. I could picture this scene so perfectly. You keep outdoing yourself and I will never know how. I was so riveted to my screen for this that I did not answer the phone! Your job with Vader and his deep feelings for his son?that little spark of light in him .. is just perfect. I do hope he spares Poulin's life. But then that would not be Vader-like...p

 

I'm giving this a little *bump* because I know there are more people out there waiting to see what happens next!

 

At last! At last! Here is the final part of my dark summer's tale. I hope you enjoy it! I'd be grateful to know what you think.


Brother, Mine (7)


?Well, Polem?? Lila askes. ?What are you going to do now??

She always calls me ?Polem.? In her language, which I was slowly mastering at the time she first decided to name me, it means ?wanderer.? It is a play on the sound of my name.

?Why not just call me ?Lonehm?? I?d retorted. ?Lonehm? means ?lost one?.

?No,? she?d said firmly. ?You are ?Polem?.?

?How about ?Sarjan??? I?d persisted, partly showing off my newfound language skills, and partly, I have to admit, playfully trying to find out what she thought of me. ?Sarjan? meant ?deep thinker? or ?thoughtful one.?

?Kati sarja, you mean,? she?d countered, making me blush a little. ?Kati sarja,? I knew, meant something like ?lacking wisdom?. In other words, ?clueless?.

?Touché,? I?d muttered in my own language, lacking the word for it in hers. ?How about ?Lambaki??? It was a word that referred to a disorderly pile of clothes.

She had laughed at that one, and I had glowed from the pleasure of having made her laugh. ?No,? Lila had said with finality. ?You are Polem.? And Polem I became on her world, ever after. It?s a nice name. I like the way it tickles when she murmurs it in my ear.

What are you going to do now, Polem?

?What do you mean, what am I going to do now?? I?m a little confused. Apparently I haven?t been paying full attention to the conversation. I?ve been gazing at her, simply and purely happy to be sitting next to her in this green clearing, watching the sun create art with the highlights in her hair. I?ve never been so happy to see anyone. It?s odd; it?s as though I had lost her and now I am seeing her again for the first time. And yet everything around me seems normal. We are in a familiar place ? the small clearing in the woods that begin just beyond the bottom of the garden ? and I know that we have been sitting here talking for a long time.

She looks very serious. She isn?t teasing at all. ?Now that your quest has ended. What now??

?My quest?? I?m still confused, and I don?t like the feeling of apprehension that is gathering around the edges of my consciousness. I?m beginning to feel worried and I don?t know why.

?Yes, Polem. You always have lived in the past, or the future. Never here, now. Never with me. Not really.?

Her voice sounds so sad. I am so sad. She?s right, of course. I have lingered here for more than two standard years ? longer than I have lived anywhere since the beginning of the dark times. And yet, as much as I love this place, this forgotten little world of hers, and yes, her, I have never allowed myself to really settle here and to become a part of it. I?m always poised for flight; ready to move on at a moment?s notice. Ready to run.

The dark times?.

The anxious feeling grows stronger. Why is she so serious? Why are we both so sad? I feel there?s something that I ought to remember, but I don?t know what it is.

Well, I don?t want to know what it is. I want desperately to be with Lila. I turn my attention back to her and look straight into her far-seeing eyes, but to my dismay they seem to be fading. She seems to be disappearing.

?What are you going to do now, Polem??

?Lila!? I gasp. ?Don?t go!? I reach out to grasp her hand, to hold onto her, and a searing pain in my shoulder and arm yanks me back to a place that is as unexpected as it is dismaying. It is dim, the walls are a dull metallic grey, and I seem to be lying on a hard slab of some kind. My shoulder is throbbing with pain. I am momentarily completely at a loss.

?If it hurts you?re not dead, Poulin. Now get up,? my old Master?s voice says distinctly in my head, and all at once I wake up and remember.

Vader.

I was the one who left her. I left Lila. For this.

It hurts. So I?m not dead. I take stock. Having gotten something from me, it appears that Vader couldn?t even be bothered to kill me himself, which could only mean that he?s left the job to his minions to carry

 

Love the flashback with Lila, the stark contrast to his imprisonment. I would love a sequel to see what happens, what might have been. Pell was great.

 

He got to live??? He got to live!


Wow, so there's something that doesn't happen every day. He should count himself very, very lucky. I had a feeling "Vader" couldn't kill him.

Brilliant way to end the story. For a minute I thought he was in Jedi heaven. Just out of curiousity, is this right before the DS I destruction?

Okay I must be dumb, but what happened to the stone? Did Vader crack it?

 

WOW! The ending was even better than I anticipated, and I had high expectations. That was absolutely incredible! I can see something like this happening, if the Jedi who finds Vader happens to catch him in the right, introspective mood. Nicely done!

?You know him?? I?m scrambling to make sense of it. ?You work for Vader??

My pilot grins at the console. ?I stay outta his way. I do what he asks. I make sure I don?t irritate him. An? he lets me be.? He glances at me sideways. ?I knew him when, yer see.?

The glance is just a flicker out of the corner of his eyes, but I feel the intention behind it like a ripple of wind in the Force. It is a question.

?So did I,? I admit.

He turns to study me openly, his pale eyes searching my face and my shabby clothes and, presumably, my injuries. I sit quietly, allowing his scrutiny, while I wait for my reeling thoughts to settle.

I?ve been paid well to take you wherever you want to go.

It appears that I am to remain alive a little longer.

?Didn?t know he had any friends,? the little man says dryly.


Really loved this exchange. WOW! I had to say it again.

 

Oh, awesome end! I love how you showed the little bit of good in Vader by letting Poulin live, as well as the addition of Lila!

JS

 

I knew it!! I knew it!!
Poulin lives.. I am so glad my suspicions were correct..
Amazing ending for the amazing story. Very glad you also added his thoughts about why 'Vader' left him live. And Lila, very sweet.

 

Lucky guy, gets to live. Nice ending. I enjoyed the whole story.

 

I'm also glad that Poulin lived.

Very typical on Anakin/Vader's part--shove out of his way what is painful or what threatens his new identity.

I liked the flashback as well, and poor Poulin--once again, I could almost literally feel the physical pain.

Good posts and great story.

 

A perfect ending to an impressive story.

 

Although unfamiliar with the OCs, I really enjoyed this story!