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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Can we bring a policy back?

Discussion in 'Communications' started by Diggy, Jun 6, 2020.

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  1. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    There's one more thing I want to add, and it's important because I just realized via a PM that not everyone in this thread knows the whole story, evidently.
    Over the last few months I have faced a constant barrage of hostility and angry stuff thrown at me in the forums that was absolutely and completely uncalled for. The most egregious examples include the person who "joked" they wanted to shoot me IRL, and the person who suggested it would be an act of charity for another human being to have sexual intercourse with me. Those two examples were particularly nasty and obviously the posts were edited by a mod.
    There were a lot of other things that weren't as clearly in violation of forum rules, and I've refrained from reporting most of them. But I'd be lying if I said some of those posts were deeply, genuinely frightening.

    Anyone here claiming that they want to make the forums better for everyone should actually try to get both sides of the story. I have no ill will towards any person, nor any reason to wish to insult any person.

    I've been a victim of violent crime IRL and still deal with the ongoing PTSD. Sensing that people have it out for you in some weird and unexplained way definitely triggers PTSD symptoms, I've mentioned this at least once in the mental health thread and for awhile there, things seemed to be getting better. I make every effort to know the forum rules and follow them. Sometimes if I'm not sure whether a specific curse word is allowed or not, I will look it up to make sure I remain compliant 100% of the time .

    I'm super sweet in most situations but this creeping feeling that there was some sort of weird clique trying to get me or play "gotcha" in some unexplained way definitely has had be a little bit on edge recently. At least now I know I definitely wasn't imagining things.
     
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  2. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    I wonder if either of those instances you described resulted in those users being banned, even just temporary, like bans typically are. Those actions should certainly warrant that.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  3. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    To the best of my knowledge, it did not. Their posts were edited, that was it.

    So, here I am, a disabled queer woman of color, trying to fend for myself pretty much,
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  4. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    This whole thread just confirms some observations I've made about how the mods here go about modding.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  5. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    And it also confirms what I long suspected, it turns out I wasn't being paranoid at all about my worst fears, the reality actually turned out to be much uglier than what I had feared.

    The things being said to me that sounded like veiled threats probably really were what I feared.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
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  6. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Keep in mind, these are just random people on the internet. It's fun to chat and debate, but that's all it is. Don't put too much emphasis on what people say.

    If you do feel the need to follow up those concerns with a moderator, you are certainly entitled to do that.
     
  7. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Yes, that's good advice, but I am also concerned about the next person they might try to do something to behind their back. It just seems like an inherently dishonest thing to do, trying to change the rules just with one person in mind because they dislike them personally.
     
  8. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Oh God now she's here.
    Can I just say that "extremely harassed" is just slightly overstated?
     
  9. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Next time you get the slightest sense of hostility from them, just tell them if they have an issue with what you post to ignore it. You have just as much of a right as anybody on here to post what you post, assuming it's within the guidelines of the forum.

    If they have an issue with how you post, tell them they are free to take it up with a mod, and that it's up to the mods to determine if how you post is acceptable or not.

    Wow, that's some Lindsay Lohan mean girls comment right there.
     
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  10. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Yeah, that comment isn't worse.
     
  11. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Sure thing bud.
     
  12. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    That's more or less what I had been doing... But they came coming at me even after I asked them to leave me alone.

    @JoinTheSchwarz , I had wondered whether to PM you tonight or not but wasn't sure if you would even be online today.

    I think keeping more open communication would help solve a lot of things that I feel didn't need to be perceived as problems, or at least not the problems some people were alleging existed.

    I only found out today you and others had been talking about me behind my back in that thread where you just replied to me. Don't understand why it is necessary to keep some of these conversations going behind people's backs, especially when some of us have been facing hostile situations like being threatened with being shot IRL and being targeted with sexually-explicit innuendo. Those behaviors seem much more serious than whether or not any of us use a Twitter link or not.
     
  13. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    I just think some people like Tina should post less. They're oversharing and bringing down the forum. Drowning out other voices. And since the content of their posts isn't anything special, and some of the voices they drown out are, they're responsible for killing the energy.

    On top of that, why Tina gets singled out - as Philosopher said, she reacts dishonestly to criticism time and time again. It's annoying to see her do it to different people all the time.

    When you post walls of text in double and triple posts and can't take criticism, you're not contributing in a healthy manner.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  14. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Please point me to the section in the rules that addresses those points. I have gone over the rules for the JCC at least 3 times today. I've always gone above and beyond in following the rules to the best of my ability.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  15. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Well, there you go
    That was a nice thought that won't work.
     
  16. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    If somebody is blatantly trolling, that's one thing. But other than that, as long as somebody is posting within the guidelines of the forum, it shouldn't matter to anybody else. If you don't like it, ignore it. If it's happening to somebody else, let them handle it. It's really not that big of a deal. It's not that important.
     
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  17. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I agree with this completely. And whenever I've asked DP or SW to just ignore me and leave me alone, they just keep looking for ways to keep coming at me, yesterday DP posted something at me that the mod at the time rightly deemed a personal attack. (It was also a sexually explicit attack)

    Why do DP and SW keep giving me a hard time when they could have taken this up with a mod months ago? The mod could have said something to me if they thought I'd been in violation of the TOS.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
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  18. MotivateR5D4

    MotivateR5D4 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Yea, I mean I know there's some mods here who might especially take issue with a female member of these boards being taunted in a sexually explicit manner like that. I actually happened to see myself what was written by that member before it got edited, I even commented in that discussion shortly after that. So I'm not sure why it was taken so lightly. Again, take it up with a mod, nobody should have to feel unsafe posting here. Disagreements are one thing. What was said to you should not be tolerated.
     
    Princess_Tina likes this.
  19. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    You obviously either don't get the nuance or don't mind mindless pap and dishonest ducking. Either way, since you're not a mod or a JCC regular, I don't really see the need of discussing this with you in particular any further.
     
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  20. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Exactly, there seems to be a blatant double standard at work here.
    I always play by the rules and ask the people who are being openly hostile to me, or at least strongly passive-aggressive, to leave me alone, I have no quarrel with them personally... And even after months of asking them nicely to leave me alone, I am still putting up with their barely-concealed hostility and even some sexually-explicit personal insults.
     
  21. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    I’ll say one last thing— suggesting or asking people to ignore you isn’t the panacea you may think it is. As I said before, everyone’s posts move a thread along and affect ongoing discussion. You can’t throw something into a pond without making a ripple. Throw enough stones in or a boulder and you’re affecting everyone around, even if it’s not your intent to do so.

    Ignoring you doesn’t change the impact your posts have on a thread, and the same goes for everyone else. That’s why this isn’t just about you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  22. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    @KnightWriter, I've always been told that if someone's posts are annoying to me personally, even though they don't break the rules, I shouldn't try to get into it by telling them not to do whatever I think it's annoying - I've been told repeatedly to just tell a mod and/or put them on ignore and not continue engage to with them directly.

    I mean, that seems like very sensible advice. And in all the months that this whole thing has been going on, it has always been about people who aren't mods giving me a hard time or telling me they don't like something or other... Not because it's against forum rules, but just because they don't like it.

    If we're going to change the forum rules over seemingly trivial issues, fine, but let's not do things covertly or talking about people behind their backs, let's open up comments to all the forum members and ask everyone to participate in an open and transparent way, and then hopefully we can reach a consensus that works for all JCC members. Or at least one we can all agree with.

    That seems a lot more honest and straightforward than having cliques working behind the scenes and people who aren't mods trying to moderate anybody they personally don't like.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2020
  23. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Just help me understand how this is not the cool kids asking the school to institute a rule forbidding the nerd from sitting at their table.

    Because I don't see it, and it's not the first time something like this comes up: the identity of "the nerd" varies, but it's always the same sentiment, and every time I get confused and irritated over why a bunch of adults with jobs and families are apparently unable to coexist with one or two people who might not be in the same wave as them.

    So I'm sure there has to be an angle I'm not seeing, so please, help me see it.
     
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  24. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    Please re-read my post, Tina. I don’t see any sign that you understood what I wrote.

    Thank you, and good night.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2020
  25. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I admit, maybe I'm a bit of a nerd. Not that there's anything wrong with that! :p
     
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