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Can we please stop the constant harassment?

Discussion in 'Communications' started by Princess_Tina, Jun 11, 2020.

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  1. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    To the fine folks in the JCC,

    Unbeknownst to many of you, I have been subjected to constant harassment by a couple of individuals over a series of trivial matters and in one of the most recent instances, one of the people involved posted a sexually-explicit personal attack against me in the Pandemic thread.

    That particular post was appropriately dealt with by @Point Given , who deleted it and reminded the person in question that personal attacks are not allowed in the JCC.

    This also came not too long since another forum member "jokingly" said in the McClucky thread that he "wanted to shoot me".

    I am a victim of violent crime in real life and have to deal with PTSD on an ongoing basis as a result of a severe beating. The constant micro-agressions by the persons I have just indirectly mentioned have been very derimental to me and have triggered PTSD symptoms.

    I definitely don't think that all men are bad, but it so happens that each and every of the forum members who have engaged in this months-long campaign of rampant harassment are guys, and unfortunately they do not know how to take "no" or "stop" from a woman.

    "No" as in I don't want to play your silly games and put up with constant passive-aggressive innuendo and other stuff like that.

    The overwhelming majority of the hostility being aimed at me is carefully calculated to fall just short of posting things that are against forum rules, but the pattern is very clear, and it is definitely designed to make fun of, ridicule, and otherwise harass me personally.

    These forums can be a great place when everyone is polite to each other and I don't think I'm asking for too much in expecting a modicum of politness.

    Thanks and if the mods want to move this thread to the Communications forum, please feel free to do so.

    Thanks everyone.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
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  2. vin

    vin Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 1999
    Wrong place to post something like this. Take it to Comms unless pointy deleted it already.
     
  3. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 I Am Speaking in Four Realms star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Correct. Since this is a site-use issue, it’s not a YJCC topic.

    Moving.
     
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  4. Coruscant

    Coruscant Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 15, 2004
    We have a harassment policy; have you read it, Tina?
     
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  5. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I will read it, up to now I hoped it wasn't necessary.

    Look most people here are super nice, the thing involving @Darth Punk and @SuperWatto seems to be a bit much considering I'm only asking they leave me alone and I think for the most part SW has since a few days ago.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
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  6. Jedi Knight Fett

    Jedi Knight Fett PT Interview Host/All-Around Good Guy star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2014
    If you have a problem report it to the mods. It might not help it might depending on how much it violates TOS
     
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  7. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    people give each other a hard time in the jcc. that has been part of the culture of the forum since before you signed up, tina. 99% of the time people are just trying to be funny. if people are intentionally trying to injure or provoke, or if you feel that people have crossed a line that you don't feel comfortable with, even if the party in question didn't do so with malicious intent, then the moderators should be notified and those instances can be dealt with on a case by case basis.

    in general though, i would suggest trying to see if you can adapt to the flow and tone of the forum. i mean now we know that you have issues in your past that have made you easily triggered, and i for one will certainly keep that in mind when interacting with you in the future, but what we can't do is force the culture of the forum to change completely or mute the personalities of the people from all over the world who have come to call the jcc home.

    a lot of us can be snarky at times. that's just us. i think it's really hard to find a foothold in the jcc if you don't at least to some extent just try to go with it. learning to laugh at yourself can help a lot.

    i don't want anyone to feel like they can't fit in at the jcc and i don't want anyone to have a bad time, but the forum is what it is and if the only way you you're going to be able to enjoy posting there is for fundamental aspects of its culture to change then it could be that it's not for you.
     
  8. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    JKF - I'm well aware of forum board dynamics, and it isn't something that only happens in the JCC. Sometimes a group of people doesn't like a particular poster and they go about trying to make that one person feel uncomfortable in a variety of ways, but being careful not to break forum rules.

    I would agree that it's not easy for a mod to break that dynamic, usually.

    Oh, you mean that almost 20 years hasn't been long enough to adapt? :p

    (See what I did there? Tried to be a little bit snarky! I'm not always dead serious)
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
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  9. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    lol, progress!

    but i know that you took like 10 years away from the boards and you seem very taken aback by the culture of the jcc, and you're apparently having a row with two of its friendliest members, so i'm genuinely trying to be helpful here.
     
  10. 3sm1r

    3sm1r Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 2017
    @Princess_Tina
    I'd have thought that simply ignoring them would solve the problem
     
  11. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Yes, initially that was my hope as well. DP asked me through a third person to talk things out and make up (I think this was Sunday or Monday) and I was totally willing to call it all water under the bridge, if he could just give me some space for a few days. I had really hoped for for a reconciliation.

    That's actually not at all true, for the most part the culture is much the same as it ever was, there are some serious discussions and then there are some humorous chats. I absolutely do not have a serious problem with anyone except 2-3 very specific people, which I think you'll agree is a small percentage of all users.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  12. 3sm1r

    3sm1r Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 2017
    @Princess_Tina
    I really hope you work things out with them. They happen to be virtually my two favorite posters, but of course every person react to external inputs in a different way depending on their personality.
     
  13. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    You know, I would actually hope that, as well. All I'm asking them is to just leave me alone for a week or two, and after that if they want to start over again I'd be willing to give it a try, I really don't enjoy holding a grudge or anything like that.

    I'm usually one of the mellowest people under most circumstances, though a feeling of guys not wanting to leave me alone for a long while and being very domineering is definitely triggering due to PTSD, there are many instances where something starts out with verbal exchanges and you sense a little hostility and sometimes (I'm talking about IRL here) it escalares into physical aggression, and they take advantage that there's many of them and you're all alone... It just brings back painful flashbacks, so I'll just stop,
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  14. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    I’m reposting this from other Comms thread regarding this matter.
     
  15. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    And this is my reply to that post

     
  16. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
  17. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I want to say I appreciate very much the input from the person who pointed me to the harassment policy.

    This point in particular seems appropriate to the situation

    • It can even be as simple as someone making comments about your appearance or personal life that you feel are inappropriate or make you feel uncomfortable.
     
  18. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Hi, I’m that poster Tina is accusing of saying they would shoot her. My post was along the following lines:

    if you were locked in a room with Tina and Wockey, had a gun with one bullet, who would you shoot?

    the answer clearly being “yourself”.

    glad to have cleared that up, Tina stopping lying about me, please. And in general.
     
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  19. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    That door swings both ways.
     
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  20. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    @Diggy : my recollection is, your post was deemed inappropriate by the mods.
     
  21. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    - woosh -
     
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  22. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Do you recall why?
     
  23. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Diggy, honestly, at this point I don't have a quarrel with you. I did take that one post pretty seriously because I'm a victim of violent crime, and I'm still dealing with PTSD issues. And yes, your post was genuinely frightening, and others expressed their concern over this in the mental health thread. If you've never been a victim of violent crime, then I guess you can't understand what it's like.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  24. Dandelo

    Dandelo Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2014

    this bit resonates with me as I have had discussions about this kind of thing in the past with mods.

    First I would like to say I am very sorry you were the victim of violent crime and that you now have PTSD because of this, it sounds awful and cannot imagine being in your shoes.

    However, people cannot just not post things in case it triggers some kind of stress response from you. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect that of people.

    I suffer from scrupulosity and some of the things people post can cause triggers for me, however, it's MY issue and how I deal with it depends on me.

    If people continue to post things that cause you triggers and that do not violate TOS the only thing you can do is put them on ignore.
     
  25. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    No, there were a couple of posts at least that clearly crossed the line and were deleted by the mods. Some of the other stuff has to do with one poster in particular who I'd already asked to please leave me alone, and he kept tagging me constantly and trying to be "humorous" even after I tried to explain I didn't want to interact with him because his "humor" was very annoying.
     
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