main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Can we please stop the constant harassment?

Discussion in 'Communications' started by Princess_Tina, Jun 11, 2020.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
    Well, considering that for the good majority of us, we've been locked in our homes for the past 3 months, it's really not a surprise to see more posts leading to more conflict.
     
  2. Coruscant

    Coruscant Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 15, 2004
    Interesting—I correlate the conflict with something(one) else.
     
  3. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I think most people tend to have a good time in most of the threads, most of the time.

    A well-intended joke is always welcome. If someone makes a questionable joke, or even posts something that sounds like a personal attack disguised as a "joke", my first instinct would still be to give them the benefit of the doubt.

    But the situation with DP is different precisely because there is a history there, and I have been asking him for months if he could just be a little less clingy and leave me alone. I don't enjoy all the attention, and then there was the post that even the mod could clearly see was a personal attack.

    So, there is clearly a long-standing pattern there where I've asked DP to please leave me alone many, many times. And each time I asked, he seemed to get clinglier. It's like, I don't know, he just can't let go of me.

    And even as recently as Monday, I told him I was open to a fresh start, provided he gave me a few days and then we could give it another try. But that was contingent on him showing he was willing to leave me alone at least for a little while, just a few days, just to try to put all of his previous unpleasantness out of my mind.

    I can't seem to get rid of him whether or not I have him on ignore.

    It's like the roadrunner and Wile E Coyote. The pursuer who will absolutely never give up, never ever ever.

    I've known people in romantic relationships that had problems respecting boundaries, but this is absolutely ridiculous, he's just a stranger to me and never will be anything more.

    It's not like I would care if he posted in the same threads, as long as he didn't make it clear that he's hanging on to my every post, hanging on to my every word.

    I've known many people who were clingy with their romantic partners, but I've never seen anything like this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
    Diggy likes this.
  4. 3sm1r

    3sm1r Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 2017
    It's really, really, really difficult for me to believe that in the 2000s -nothing but the years of the PREQUELS - a SW online forum was a peaceful oasis of happy people agreeing with each other.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  5. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
  6. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I don't think I said everyone agreed with each other.

    People argued for years if Palpatine = Sidious. But I seem to remember most of the disagreement being generally polite and good-humoured. I remember C Creepio and PadmeBra being all around funny, I remember folks making fun of jasman's profile photo or something. And I remember bananapunk, I believe was his user name.

    Cool guys to hang out with.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  7. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
    There were some serious brawls not just between users but mods as well. I seem to remember some very long threads in Comms when some bannings occurred. Also, policies like harassment have come a long way from where they were then.
     
  8. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    lol in the early 2000's this place was constantly full of the most outrageous drama and bickering. maybe you just stuck to the movie forums then, tina?
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  9. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I don't remember which forums I enjoyed most, but that may be possible. I remember there were some angry discussions in the Senate with KK, but that was in the late oughts.
     
  10. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
    As I recall, there was the slogan: "TFN: We know Drama" because of the sheer amounts of drama that occurred.

    Anyway, that's not to say that things aren't also getting tense again. Because there has definitely been a new type of tension over the past few years and I do think that has impacted the boards as well. I just think it's a different type of tension without quite as much overt drama.
     
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  11. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    It wasn't. There were arguments on a regular basis and serious interpersonal clashes all the time. A lot of that was due to the more primordial nature of the community here, and the gravity well produced by the prequels. Things were a lot less worked out back then and unprecedented situations weren't unusual, whereas now moderators are able to look at a long list of precedents for guidance on what to do. There were a lot more strong personalities 15-20 years ago than there are now. If things are more laid-back now (and I think they are), it wasn't back then.

    Just look at Communications threads from 2000-2004. I'm sure a lot of posts are truncated because they were so long and didn't completely transfer over. As someone who was a moderator and then an administrator during that time, I had a good vantage point to the state of flux this place was in and it was challenging at times. I miss no small number of people from those days, but there are others who I'm glad aren't here anymore.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  12. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    The YJCC has been pretty open and friendly in the last 5 years or so. A snarky aside here and there at times and maybe a few heated remarks. I mean, yeah, we can get riled up at times, I know I have. But I have to say Punk and Watto are two of the nicest users on this forum.
     
  13. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    I'm sure they're both perfectly nice most of the time. All I'm asking is for them to lay off of me for a while. Just act like I don't exist. After some weeks where they ignore me completely, I'm open to starting over again, if they want to, or not, if they don't want. But clearly it would be beneficial for all if they ignore me completely for a while.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  14. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    Tina, if you post, you're opening yourself up to replies from other people. That's the nature of a community. It doesn't mean people can say anything (that's why we have rules, of course), but if the posts are appropriate, there's not much anyone can or should do. The only way to avoid this is to choose not to post.
     
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  15. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    What you're saying is true under normal circumstances, but in this instance there was something that he had previously agreed to, based on his expressed desire to put things behind us and start over, or something. And I took him at his word, guess maybe I shouldn't have.

    He has been super clingy for months and engaged in a personal attack at least once that had to be deleted. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be condoning that pattern of behavior.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  16. harpua

    harpua Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Nice drama thread, Tina.
     
    Lord Vivec and Chewgumma like this.
  17. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
    I guess the question here is what is your ask? Is there a specific policy change/clarification you are looking for?

    Otherwise, I confess to being confused at why you haven’t reached out privately with a moderator to resolve this since the ignore feature doesn’t seem to be working and it sounds like you do not feel private conversation with the parties involved has been successful.

    Others have pointed out that it is difficult to control these type of posts- especially if they are within the current rules. I saw you had viewed the part on harassment. If you feel there is something there, would it not more sense to take up privately with a moderator? I am not quite sure what the goal of this thread is right now.
     
  18. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    Im not sure of that, either. I had hoped there would be some way to move forward in a positive way, so that we could hopefully all be one happy family, or at the least a happy bunch of SW geeks.

    But you're right, maybe it's best to lock the thread.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
  19. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    Tina, it is possible that a "positive way" in practice is simply agreeing with your views on things?
     
  20. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    KW, I have never expected any such a thing in any situation. There have been some folks here making some pretty good suggestions.
     
  21. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Any issue I have with Princess_TIna comes down to this:
    - Princess_Tina posts excessively.
    - The content of the posts is shallow.

    Any issues Princess_Tina has with me simply stem from the fact that I complain about it. If Princess_Tina can freely post so much crap, surely I can complain about it now and then? Not according to Princess_Tina.

    Same goes for Diggy and Punk. And because we are critical of the quality and volume of Princess_Tina's posts, Princess_Tina now tries to drag us through the mud one by one. That's the only reason. We're only here because somebody can't take some much-deserved criticism.

    The fact that this person deems it fit to react with repeated accusations of threats of violence or sexual assault, and keeps pretending to be a hapless victim, suggests to me nothing this person says should automatically be believed. That's why I said ASG.
     
    Chewgumma likes this.
  22. Princess_Tina

    Princess_Tina Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    May 10, 2001
    @SuperWatto , nobody is trying to "drag you through the mud" in any way, shape or form. If you have any suggestions that will improve the overall quality of posts throughout the forums and enhance the forum experience for everyone, I'm sure you're quite capable of posting your recommendations in this Communications forum. And yeah, I mean, if there is a consensus about a better way to move forward for everyone concerned, I'm sure all of us will be glad to embrace it openly.

    There are quite a few people on the forums whose posts strike me as shallow, and yet in all this time, I have never seen them being subjected to any kind of corrective action. But maybe we should have a new rule in place to stop shallowness on the spot?
    If you're looking for some kind of substantive in-depth discussion on the issues of the day, I'm more than happy to oblige. Pick the topic. Let's stipulate that no reply can be less than 500 words. Does that seem like it could be a more substantive discussion? If not, we can up the ante to 1000 words per post. Just tell me what would make you happy.

    One more note: you mention something in your post about "threats of violence or sexual assault" - those are literally your words. Nobody here has said any such things have happened here or among any forum members, and the mere use of such terms substantially mischaracterizes the discussion that has taken place. Since you are such a strong believer in not posting in a shallow or rushed manner, I would appreciate it very much if you could be so kind as to refrain from mischaracterizing the nature of the grievances that have been aired.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2020
  23. Outsourced

    Outsourced Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2017
    Hmm...
     
    Chewgumma likes this.
  24. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Rangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Closed per user request - HL
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.