Chieftain o' the puddin' race...

Happy Burns Day you lot

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

 

...and a translation...

Greetings, you are a superior food and are worthy of a grace as long as my arm.
You fill the plate so well and look so sturdy. Your juices are as inviting as whisky.
See the knife cut you, allowing your insides to flow. A glorious sight and aroma.
Then spoon after spoon they stretch and strain.
It is every man for himself because there will be none left for the slow ones, until all their stomachs are full and fit to burst.


Is there anybody who eats foreign food who would look down disdainfully at this dinner.
Poor souls, if they do. They will be poor thin creatures, not fit for anything.
But if you eat Haggis, you will be strong, robust and fit for battle.
God, who looks after us and feeds us, Scotland does not want food with sauce that splashes in dishes. But if you want a grateful prayer then give her a Haggis.

 

Lovely, your Minxness. Thankyou for a bit of much needed culture around here.

D'ye mind if copy the 'address' and stick it in the middle of the AOTC "get in line' thread, just to confuse the Americans?
.

 

Not at all, love.

I'll be posting it in the main JCC forums too.

 

Cool
I just stuck it into "Get in line - a social countdown' on AOTC spoilers, with your credit at the bottom.
But they'll probaby ignore it..
Betcha the next post after it is something like "gee, you guys, do any of you have problems downloading QT from the official site?"
Heathens !

 

*applauds MOTs_Minx

Very lovely, very lovely. You know I have yet to attend a Burns Dinner. They are generally a bit too steep in price for me when they come around. Maybe next year.

And I've actually eaten haggis. I'm the type of person who will try something once. Yeah...I'm not going to eaat haggis anymore. It's not that it was as repellent as I thought it would be....it's just not my cup of tea. *looks at her shirt* which, btw, I've managed to spill on my white shirt.

Anyways...the title caught my eye. Thought I'd say alo!