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Saga - Legends Chyntuck's ramblings | "Fermu Soldatu Tin" (OTP Fairy Tale Challenge) | Replies 03 Dec 2017

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Chyntuck, Oct 2, 2014.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    For some reason, my initial thought upon reading this was "Ha! This is going to be like the Bugs Bunny short with that opera singer." And while it does not have that bizarre plot, it's pretty close with some of the madness. Given that Ephant Mon's Force-sensitivity is mild, of course his visions would not make sense all along, things would be interspersed, tangled and at some points, resembling actual dreams. Nice character study there.

    The idea with everybody thinking droids were a Trojan horse, a disguise like Leia's, is both right and wrong, knowing what Artoo had with him. Schrödinger's reasoning, anybody?

    Salacious Crumb mumbling Lapti Nek in his sleep is a great, great reference to the Mad Hatter's tea party and that little bat/doormouse. :D.

    P.S. Always nice to see Malakili namedropped. Because Malakili...*swoon* <3
     
  2. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Ephant Mon hated jizz-wail.

    That is a fantastic way to start this story :D Love it!!
     
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  3. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Thanks for reading and reviewing!
    Actually, what I had in mind when writing the Gamorrean opera bit was this:



    [face_laugh]

    My idea for Ephant Mon was that, while his own dream turns into a Force vision at some point, he pushes himself unknowingly in the Gamorrean's dream and pushes him in turn into Salacious Crumb's mind, and then things stop making sense altogether -- I mean, seriously, does anyone want to see the inside of Salacious Crumb's mind?
    It's a good job that the bad guys are not very clever, because the good guys would never win. If I were Jabba, I would have dismembered those two droids to figure out what the trick was!
    ;)
    Oh, I absolutely ADORE Malakili. Have you read the Tales from Jabba's Palace? There's a wonderful (and sad) story about him in there.
    Thanks! There's a whole debate going on about jizz in the OC Revolution thread right now, and everyone seems to hate the very word jizz... except you and me :)

    Thanks again to everyone who dropped by to read!
     
  4. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2018
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    This is so cute! I love the personality you've given the little guy. His game is terrific (and frankly it reminds me of the rolly chair races in the computer lab in college).

    He has given up on obtaining equal rights for droids a long time ago – the Galaxy is just too cruel a place for that to ever happen – but he is adamant that he will go down in history as the fastest droid on record.
    There's something bittersweet here; he knows what he has achieved is unique. He is sentient enough to understand that the galaxy doesn't consider him sentient enough to matter.
     
  6. Viridian-Maiden

    Viridian-Maiden Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2013
  7. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    One sentence in and I'm already feeling for the poor droid.

    And that's why. I also loved the droid's confusion on the ever-evolving gender identities of Hutts, that was very nice touch.

    I also found the history of the droid itself to be fascinating: a champion for droid rights that's been pretty much resigned to the fact that he'll never get where he wants to go with it, but still dreams about it.

    His little passtime is amusing as well, and well written. The sense of joy and accomplishment at beating his personal best is described wonderfully and really helped me connect with Mousey. Great work as always, Chyntuck!
     
  8. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I can just picture that Chyntuck ! =D= These droid-POV fics are just too much! fun! [face_mischief]
     
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  9. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Interference was very, very good!

    Splendid insights into the mind and thoughts of Ephant Mon, but that was not all, the story went from strength to strength from an insight into Leia's clothing change process, to that awesome dream sequence describing Jabba's Gamorreans (don't they have a night and day shift?), the less dumb one that I could start to empathise with, and all the jumping around antics of the protagonist, aww, tying lekku into a bow, bless.

    Great stuff!

    Chyntuck

    Edit 30/06/16: Feline Interference was a cleverly written and enjoyable romp that expanded well on an iconic ESB scene.

    A bit of a shock to realise what Piett was covered in from the exploding droid, and both he and the poor crewman were well written. I liked his scream just from seeing which way the cat went.

    Your tale made Ozzel much more relatable.

    Good build up to what was going on, as was the Admiral's concern being purely for his kitty when Piett reported its escape.
     
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  10. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Golly, I got myself under the impression that I had commented on "Champion" already, but I didn't—d'oh! This is probably the first time I've seen a mouse droid as a protagonist of a story, and I enjoyed Mousey in Seven, so it's fun to see him getting his time in the spotlight. It can't be easy doing the job he has in a place like the Simplon, which is a hectic and motley enough place even without [hl=black]a recent murder[/hl], so I don't blame him for giving himself a little recreation and fun once his cleaning shift is done! And from what you've described of the Simplon, its circular layout is just perfect for the recreation he had in mind. I hope he will get to go public with his hobby someday and perhaps even advance to the galactic level! :D

    I have to say I'm a touch puzzled by Mousey's comment on Eliskandro's gender change. Is he just unaware of Hutts' hermaphroditic nature, or does he somehow disagree with it? I guess a mouse droid, unlike, say, a protocol droid, isn't keyed in to these cultural and biological distinctions so much? Just curious mostly on what Mousey's thought process is there.

    The "secret life of droids" dynamic here is a lot of fun, both from Mousey's secret enjoyment (!) of the spilled massage oils to his Droid Liberation Front career to the teasing of that yappy Arthree "who can't keep his vocabulator switched off." [face_laugh] Fun stuff here!
     
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  11. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    ^ This. Nothing to add. Nice to see a non-organic point of a view amidst the chaos. Great challenge response!

    Sent from my SM-T310 using Tapatalk
     
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  12. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
  13. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Very much enjoyed the mouse droid story.

    Seemed very sentient, and have a lot of views about the world and galaxy beyond his POV of the floor. I did like that he liked a character who accidentally or on purpose, caused the chef and masseur to spill the oils that he liked.

    Some great insights.

    Nice race technicalities, such as jacking himself up to give his wheels time to speed up.

    Good stuff.
     
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  14. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    This is hilarious!

    I thought Hutts were asexual or hermaphrodites but I guess that doesn't truly matter.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
     
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  15. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    The Mouse droid reminds me a little of MOE from WALL-E. Love it. Will have to read the rest of the thread, now...
     
    Chyntuck likes this.
  16. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Yikes! I haven't replied to reviews on this thread since... February last year? I'm going to blame it (lamely) on 2016, and not on my own negligence [face_blush]

    Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! Here goes...

    Feline Trouble
    Thank you :) I still remember how much I loved Satine Naberrie's dare when I received it (gosh, was that already two years ago?) because I have this love-hate relationship with Ozzel. I think he's one of the best-written characters in TESB. I mean, he gets all of two-and-a-half lines of dialogue, and it's enough to display in full the combination of condescension and obsequiousness that's so typical of him :p Piett on the other hand comes across as an okay guy -- not particularly brilliant, but honest and competent, and I always felt for him in that scene with Ozzel when he gets told off for doing his job.

    I still need to write the sequel to this. I had plans for a fic called Canine Adventures, but it fell through the cracks of 2016.

    The Hairdo
    Thanks! Hutts were indeed hermaphrodites in Legends, but they still identified with one gender or the other (e.g. Jabba identified as male). In New Canon it's a bit more confusing, because Pablo Hidalgo said they have separate sexes now, but somehow Jabba still has a son in TCW -- although there might be a mother somewhere that we haven't heard of. And there goes a plot bunny in the making, about Jabba's love life...

    Interference
    Thanks again! This story was also a joy to write (did you guess that I love dare challenges by now?) because being given an opportunity to explore what's going on in the mind of all these aliens we see at Jabba's was just too good an opportunity to miss, especially Salacious Crumb, who must really have the weirdest dreams in the world :p TBH, I haven't though too much of the logistics and the labour rights situation in Jabba's palace, but I'm pretty sure that the Gamorreans don't get paid overtime and don't have health insurance.

    Champion
    Thank you! I was wondering if someone would think of the chair races (no, I didn't stop after college, and UNESCO has perfect hallways for this :D)
    That's a great way of describing how I think of Mousey. In a way he's a bit of an over-achiever; he didn't succeed as a senior commander in the Droid Liberation Front, but he firmly intends to be successful at something else!
    Awww thanks [face_love]

    [face_laugh]
    [face_rofl]
    I should have credited you on this fic, because your battle droid fic is what gave me the idea. I loved how you wrote them as not-quite-sentient, and I wanted to try that on one of my OCs -- admittedly, mine are less disciplined droids, so it made things much easier. Thanks for reading!

    Thanks :)

    Actually, he will go public sooner than you think. But that's a story for another time and another thread [face_whistling]
    I think the answer to that would be in the next sentence in the story:
    Mousey doesn't get that sentients aren't "programmed" in the first place -- so gender and gender change... that just doesn't compute. How could it?
    Thanks!

    Thank you.

    Thank you! You had me laughing out loud at the idea of Artoo's cyberbiography [face_laugh] and you and Finds make me want to start a story thread called "the secret life of droids" now, but I won't give in to the temptation. Although the idea of writing a whole series of ficlets about the galaxy seen from down below is indeed very, very tempting. There would be wooden floors, carpets, tiles, linoleum... okay, I'll stop now :D

    Thanks again-again! I feel particularly embarrassed about being so late in replying to you, seeing as you reviewed three fics on this thread. Yes, I think of Mousey as a droid who has opinions on pretty much everything, Threepio-style, even on things that he just doesn't get :p But he's also very attached to his friends and crew, and he's very grateful for the attention he gets from Celano -- especially the oil spills. Oops, that didn't come out quite right ;)
    Thanks and welcome to my little corner of the boards! I had completely forgotten about WALL-E, but now that you mention it, it must have been lurking in the back of my mind. There were some fantastic robot characters in there and it was a really smart take on the mechanical/sentient dichotomy. You just gave me something to do with my nephews and nieces this week!
     
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  17. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2018
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  18. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Oh. My. Gawd. !!! [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    This is priceless. I love that he puts his mother on the same level as the Empire and Jabba. And TOTALLY blundering in to the Rebellion. I wonder how long it will be before someone clues him in. I do hope he learns some of the ACTUAL signals for fighter marshalling; I foresee a lot of puzzled pilots in the immediate future.
     
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  19. BookExogorth

    BookExogorth Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2017
    [face_laugh] I love this!

    I really wonder what Life is a Tapcafe sounds like now.
     
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  20. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    What an interesting collection of stories I had no idea about! You really have a talent at writing these--they have the perfect balance of humour while still maintaining a serious tone and that's hard to do. You really made Zane quite likeable and his backstory is fabulous--poor guy wanted to leave the desert planet and ended up on an ice planet--the irony :p
     
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  21. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Severe computer problems needed a smile-evoking story and this fit the fill. I really enjoyed how Zane thought fast and made a new life for himself, almost with a shrug as he settles into his job to provide a new way to bring home the bacon. :D
     
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  22. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    Bring home the bacon? Isn't Zane a Gammorrean? When Gammoreans bring home the bacon, don't they just get fat? Or do they get married?

    I know, I know. Speciesist pig jokes. Shame on me.
     
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  23. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
  24. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Well, the title evokes Cabaret, and that's lovely. Your stories always have their own unique quality which provides interesting little peeks into the GFFA universe. Zane has sort of a tragicomic quality to his existence, like the universe enjoys playing practical jokes on him (which provides the Pierrot sort of irony of playing a clown in a traveling circus).

    These are uneducated random opinions...so take them with a large margarita rimmed with sea salt...or ouzo...or something. :p
     
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  25. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Zane is very resourceful & I feel a sense of relief that he evaded all the kerfuffle that he generated. [face_laugh] [face_mischief] =D=
     
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