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Cloudy Symbols of High Romance (Ani/Ami)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Angel of Iego, May 29, 2000.

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  1. JediFinrod

    JediFinrod Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2000
    Yes, please post soon! It's not fair to leave us so long with a cliffhanger!

    [This message has been edited by JediFinrod (edited 06-02-2000).]
     
  2. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    I know it is extremely sadistic to leave a cliffhanger without a follow-up...but my post won't be ready til tomorrow. I'm sorry! I'm just a bit of a perfectionist and I want this post to be really, really good. I'll wake up early tomorrow and hopefully it'll be online by early afternoon. Thanks for your patience. And I'd be honored to have a place on Moons of Iego, A21 (if the story ever gets finished, that is).
     
  3. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    It's done. This is actually only Part 2 of 3 in the garden sequence. I hope you like it, because I've really been agonizing about this. Feedback,please?

    *********************************************
    Padme jumped. "Is someone there?"

    "I'm sorry. I didn't mean?um?I'll go now, if you want."

    It was a man's voice. He sounded flustered and embarrassed and very, very sweet. Despite her foul mood, Padme smiled.

    "No, no. Don't go back into that hellish place," she said. "I couldn't wish that on anyone."

    The man chuckled softly. "It's not that bad,"

    He sounded rather young, the Queen thought. Maybe her age, maybe younger.

    "Then why are you cowering behind this hedge?"

    "I'm hiding from someone."

    "Really?" Padme asked. "So am I. Are you hiding from a woman?"

    She turned and looked through the miniature leafy jungle that separated her from the mysterious young man. Padme could see nothing but the slant of his back. He appeared to be playing with buckle of one of his boots.

    He laughed, but it was a strained laugh. "No, I'm not?unfortunately. Are you hiding from a man?"

    Padme smiled. "Yes?unfortunately."

    "Why 'unfortunately'? He hasn't threatened you, has he?"

    She burst into laughter. "If he threatened me, would you do something about it?"

    "Certainly. I'd go back in there and slap him around a bit."

    "I'd pay to see that, I really would, but I don't think he plans to threaten me. He plans to marry me."

    The other side of the hedge was silent. For a moment, Padme thought he had ran away.

    Finally he spoke in such a quiet whisper that she had to strain to hear him. "?Marry you?"

    "That's right."

    "You don't want to marry him, do you?"

    Padme laughed again. She really liked this boy. There was some type of innocent sweetness radiating off of him. She couldn't really describe it. Padme felt like she had known him for a long time, and more importantly, like she could tell him anything.

    "No, I don't. But everyone I know wants me to. He's the ruler of a neighboring planet to Naboo, so our marriage would be kind of like an alliance."

    "I'm not a fan of that type of diplomacy."

    "Neither am I. But he's a handsome young prince who has everything. I should be in love with him; nearly everyone else is."

    "I'm not."

    This time, they both laughed.

    "I'm glad," Padme finally managed to say. "Have you ever heard the fairy tale about the girl who married a prince?"

    "I think so."

    "I never liked that story," the queen continued. "I always preferred the one where the girl flies away on the white draigon with the magical knight."

    A violent cough sounded from behind Padme's back.

    "Are you all right?" She turned around and tried to look at the man through the hedge. But he wasn't there.
     
  4. Alpha_Ferdante

    Alpha_Ferdante Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 28, 1999


    I love the whole dialogue.

    Hopefully, that cough belongs to Ani!
     
  5. ami-padme

    ami-padme Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 1999
    I think that was great! I agree the dialogue was good and funny, and that's an interesting (and sweet) way for them to meet.
     
  6. JediFinrod

    JediFinrod Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2000
    Cease to agonize over this section. I think it's a creative way to have Ani and Ami run into each other.

    Reading through it, it seems as if Ani at least knows with whom he is speaking. I could be wrong of course!

     
  7. jeditictac

    jeditictac Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 1999
    just caught sight of this story. it's great so far. i loved the dialog :)
     
  8. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    I agree the sequence was perfect.
     
  9. Rabe02

    Rabe02 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 1999
    Waiitttiinnggg for more...
     
  10. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    Awwww, gee guys. You're the best! With fans like these, who needs...um...anything else? Ok, I'll finish up with this dreadful garden stuff and post it tonight. Lovely comments...ooh! I feel so warm and fuzzy!
     
  11. Jedi Master Mara Jade

    Jedi Master Mara Jade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 1999
    This is such a cute story, Angel. Great portrayals of personalities all around, nice dialouge, and I like the creative way you're having them meet. Can't wait till you get a chance to post again!

    ...another story to add to my list of favorites... ...
     
  12. Jedi Pikachu

    Jedi Pikachu Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2000
    Post more! Post more!

    I luuuuv Anakin's attitude in the beginning! It is so...different from any other I have
    read in a story!

    Continue! Please!( and hurry... )
     
  13. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    I need some advice. I'm considering ending it here, because this post is so cute. Do you think this story should be extended further or not?

    *********************************************
    Anakin Skywalker slipped off the stone bench. He plucked a red leaf from a large bush and crumpled it in his palm as he rounded the corner of the hedge.

    And there she was.

    She was frowning, slightly confused as she leaned in close to the leafy hedge. Padme was looking for him, and if she leaned forward any further, she was going to fall into the shrubbery. Anakin couldn't help but smile.

    "Hi."

    Startled, Padme turned. Her dark eyes made contact with his, and Anakin realized with disgust that he was blushing. But she smiled and suddenly he didn't care how red his face was. She was the same young handmaiden who had floated into Anakin's junk store ten years ago, and she was beautiful.

    "I thought you'd left."

    Anakin shook his head. "Mind if I sit?"

    "Not in the least." She scooted over and Anakin sat down next to her. She looked him over for a moment, her expression completely cryptic.

    "You're a Jedi," Padme said and playfully pulled the padawan braid behind Anakin's right ear.

    "Well -- ow -- I'm a padawan." Anakin reclaimed his braid and tucked it away safely behind his ear. "Hopefully, I'll be a knight soon."

    Padme grinned. "Do you have a white draigon?"

    "He's parked in the main hanger."

    "Wonderful!"

    "But I can't fly away with you. I'd have to get my master's permission first."

    "That's very obedient of you."

    "Oh, I'd probably end up going with you no matter what he says."

    "You would leave him? I thought the master-apprentice bond was sacred."

    "It's overrated. That's why I'm hiding from him now."

    "You're hiding from your master? That's inappropriate behavior for a Jedi apprentice."

    Anakin sighed. "I guess it is. I'm only doing it because I was very cruel to him earlier. Now I don't want to get in his way."

    Padme's stare became intense as she gazed into Anakin's eyes. "Do you want some advice?"

    "From you? I'd love some."

    "Be kind to your master, no matter what he says. He's the best friend you'll ever have."

    Anakin smiled. He hoped she was right. "I'll try. Would you like some advice about the situation with your prince?"

    Padme shifted on the bench and straightened her dress. "Go ahead. Give me guidance."

    "Hold out for the draigon."

    He had wanted her to laugh, but she sighed instead. "We shall see." Padme glanced at the transparisteel door. "I had better go. My security force is probably worried sick about me."

    Anakin wished with all his heart that she would change her mind and stay out on the patio with him forever. But Padme stood up and walked towards the door, her skirts shimmering as she went. Just as he was losing all hope, she turned back. She was insanely beautiful, Anakin thought. He couldn't understand how he'd managed to spend a decade so far away from her.

    Padme tilted her head towards him, making her earrings sing.

    "Thank you for the advice, Ani."

    Her laughter echoed through the service corridor as she disappeared.


    [This message has been edited by Angel of Iego (edited 06-04-2000).]
     
  14. Alpha_Ferdante

    Alpha_Ferdante Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 28, 1999
    End it? End it?!

    Nooooo!

    Yes, I do like where you paused the story, it's fantastic.

    But you still have plenty of opportunity to build the romance before we'll try to talk you into a sequel where the "symbols of romance" are so cloudy.

     
  15. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    I did a bit of brainstorming last night and I came up with a few interesting situations for our two heroes. So you win, Alpha_Ferdante. The show will go on. As for the sequels...we shall see. I thought I was a fanfic author, not an indentured servant. But if I get enough demand, I guess I'll be forced to supply
     
  16. JediFinrod

    JediFinrod Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2000
    I'm glad you decided not to end it! I would have gotten really, really mad!

    I love the way that post ended! Very cute!
     
  17. jeditictac

    jeditictac Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 1999
    in three words:
    * i want more! *

    :-D please? :)
     
  18. Anakin's Angel

    Anakin's Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2000


    Awwww~~! This is wonderful! Keep going!
    That was really sweet!

    aa
    ps: we 'angels' need to stick together!
     
  19. Jedi Pikachu

    Jedi Pikachu Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2000
    If you end, this I will be forced to force-choke you!
     
  20. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    The update: I'm continuing, or, at least, I plan to. I've got finals tomorrow, so it's doubtful that I'll have pieced something together by tonight. But I will try. Come back later.
     
  21. Alpha_Ferdante

    Alpha_Ferdante Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 28, 1999
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I thought I was a fanfic author, not an indentured servant

    Hey, thought you wanted to know whether to continue.

    I'm just bringing this back up to the top, not pushing you.

    I know what it's like (like other do) to have a life outside of this place.
     
  22. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    An outside life, yes, but also an extremely fussy computer. At this time, my laptop appears to be more sedated, so I've managed to compose a short little number which I actually find rather amusing. Now that I finally feel mentally prepared to finish this sucker off, I realize that I have to go to Ireland later today. Hmmm... I'm going to try to find a connection to the internet over there (fussy laptop refuses to cooperate on that front)and post more. If I can't, I think I will, at least, have plenty of time to write more, though you guys won't be able to see the fruits of my labor for a full two weeks. Don't give up on me. Oh, and Alpha_Ferdante, I appreciate the encouragement.

    *********************************************
    Inhale.

    Obi-Wan shut his eyes and marveled at the colorful speckles floating about in the darkness behind his eyelids.

    Exhale.

    He had a headache. He always had headaches after being around so many people.

    Inhale.

    He liked people, even the headache-inducing ones. Being in one room stuffed with so many though was impossible. All the needless talking irked him. He had spent a dozen years in the safety of the Jedi Temple, where there were hardly ever more than three people together in a room. No one ever made small talk in the Temple; those who had telepathic connections just didn't need it.

    Exhale.

    It was hard to meditate with a headache. He couldn't stop thinking about drums. Obi-Wan was not sure whether other people had this problem, but, whenever he had a headache, he couldn't stop visualizing drums. Huge drums, children's drums, handheld drums?ear drums. His ear drums were pulsating in rhythm with his heartbeat. Maybe that was what was giving him the killer headache.

    Inhale.

    Stupid headache.

    Exhale.

    Concentrating on his breathing helped. He was beginning to recede from the real world. From the bright sunlight. And the headache.

    Inhale.

    Stupid headache.

    Exhale.

    This wasn't working.

    Inhale.

    He wondered if anyone had tried to kill Bail yet.

    Exhale.

    There wasn't anyone around who could kill Bail. Except Anakin. Obi-Wan's apprentice certainly hadn't warmed to the prince earlier. The kid was such a menace. If ever there was a headache-inducer?

    Inhale.

    Where was Anakin?

    "Master?"

    Speak of the devil.
     
  23. Angel of Iego

    Angel of Iego Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2000
    Rise, my friend.
     
  24. JediFinrod

    JediFinrod Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2000
    hehehe! Poor Obi-wan. I can sympathize. I have three younger sisters. They always give me headaches. rolleyes.gif
     
  25. Alpha_Ferdante

    Alpha_Ferdante Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 28, 1999
    LOL, I love the scene!

    You can feel every breath and thought along with Obi-Wan.
     
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