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Saga - PT Code Breaker: The Journal of Kash Ferros (DDC 2017) concluded 12/27

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by divapilot, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Like Mira said: this is a big moment for Kash.

    There are many layers for him to unpack here. On the one hand, there's his teenage preoccupation about his friendship with Saleris, on the other hand, he's light-years ahead of himself because of his premonitions -- I loved the description of the Gathering in which he participated, it was a great way to show how those premonitions shaped his life from early on, and now he's dealing with Mirany as if she were already a reality in his life even though he hasn't met her yet. And at the same time, there's this very unpleasant aftertaste to the idea that he might become a Padawan because others have been killed in battle.

    I found it interesting that the only trial he failed at was lightsaber construction. All in all, he did pretty well, much better than he's willing to give himself credit for. Hopefully his improved self-confidence after his work at the farm will help see him through the trials this time. (On the other hand, we see him in BOHM holding on to his crystal [hl=black]without a lightsaber[/hl], so it could go both ways.)
  2. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Knowing that Kash had problems last time he took the trials, I am slightly worried at how this will end. But his visions of Mirany, at the same time, give me some hope. <3 He might not get one thing, but he will certainly get the other. And since the crystal will stay with him, he is winning more than he could imagine, though he might not be aware of that right now.

    Regarding Saleris, I too thought that they were growing apart and seeing that it's not like that was a beautiful, heartwarming thought. But just like Mira_Jade says, sending them to war at this time would be horrible.
  3. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    Thank you for your response! Kash is a very empathic guy, and he really values his friends. He makes more attachments than he really ought to be doing as a Jedi (one of his many flaws). [face_love] And he feels a bit left out, seeing how Saleris has been doing so well. But you’re right, Saleris is still a good friend to him. It’s true, as you point out, this could be big changes for Kash. Whether he succeeds or fails, either way, it will redirect his life from this point on.

    Thank you for your kind words! Yes, Kash is getting an unexpected second chance. Sometimes when you don’t get what you wanted, you learn to live with it and move on, and then the chance comes back again and you remember how badly you wanted it in the first place. That’s what Kash is facing right now. And yes, even when he was a little boy, he sensed his connection to Mirany, although it was much vaguer than it is now.

    Exactly! He has decided to make the best of his situation and find happiness in his situation in the service corps. But now he has another chance to do what he really wanted to do in the first place, and it is making him rethink what it is he really wants. He has some tough decisions to make. [face_thinking] Thank you for your reply.

    Grin away!:D Kash is getting to know the clones as people and they are more complex than he assumed. It’s making him think about justice and treating others with respect, which is what a true Jedi ought to be thinking about. In a way, the clones are making him a better Jedi.

    True. Kash has a very big heart, and he is willing to help everyone.[face_love] He doesn’t care if these guys are clones. They are people to him, and he respects them. He is honored to be respected by Bo in return.

    The Clone Wars did a number on the population of the Jedi, I think, and those who are least experienced would be the most likely to die. Jedi who were being killed would need to be replaced, and the padawans who are training in the battle would be next in line to take over. I would think the war casualties would start to add up. The council would at some point start to take another look at the padawans who didn’t quite make it just because they need people out in the field. It’s a sobering thought, indeed.:eek:
    And Mirany has always, at some level, been just in the periphery of Kash’s vision.
    Thanks so very much for your thoughtful response!

    Thank you so much for replying! Saleris and Kash had gotten very close, like brothers, but they are both at different points in their lives. Often when you are a teen you have your VERY BEST FRIEND in the whole wide world and you will be FRIENDS FOREVER, then you realize at some point that you don’t really have that much in common anymore. For a lot of kids this comes as a shock, that your best friend at 14 isn’t still your best friend at 19. That’s kind of what I was going for, the idea that it’s natural for friends, even very close ones, to dip in and out of your life. It’s part of growing up.
    Then there’s the idea that “he might become a Padawan because others have been killed in battle.” That’s kind of a startling realization for Kash. He would be advancing because someone else, someone more qualified, is dead.:eek: Kash knows he isn’t a particularly strong candidate otherwise he would have been snatched up already. He is second string. But that tells you how the war is slowly decreasing the Jedi population if the Masters are willing to put in the second string. I think this was part of Palpatine’s plan when he encouraged the war. It’s softening the Jedi’s numbers so that they can be conquered. Palpatine must have been thrilled with the numerous Jedi deaths at the battle of Geonosis. The Separatists were never the target, it was always the Jedi.[face_skull]

    Kash is a smart guy, and he has been able to accomplish the individual aspects of what a Jedi should do, although he pays a physical price for his psychic exertions. But building the lightsaber is creating your masterpiece – everything must go completely right. It could definitely go either way.[face_worried]

    And Mirany has always been like a whisper in his ear, like a shadow almost seen. As he gets older his sense of her gets sharper.[face_love]

    Thank you for your reply! I appreciate it. Kash will be okay, regardless of whatever happens. He is learning important lessons now that he doesn’t even realize. Whatever happens will affect his future from this point on.;)

    He and Saleris are like brothers and even when they are apart, they still care deeply about each other. Saleris petitioned to have Kash involved in his trials, even though he didn’t have to. But successfully completing the trials may have a devastating consequence of sending the guys off to war, and Kash is not really a fighter at heart.[:D]

    Thank you for reading and/or replying! I am slowly working on this story to bring it up to a point where I can link it back to But One Hour Mine. That story is stalled until this one catches up.
    Ewok Poet, Anedon, Chyntuck and 2 others like this.
  4. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Entry 11.
    I have spent every available moment until my lightsaber trials studying, meditating, and doing whatever it was I could do to prepare. Saleris and I have been working together, going over the schematics and practicing our levitation. We’ve both memorized the mantra since we were tiny younglings.

    See, the thing is that the lightsaber construction combines everything you’ve learned. It pulls from both the Trial of the Spirit and the Trial of Insight. It requires complete command of your physical body, like in the Trial of the Flesh. If you can do this, you can do anything. It’s the culmination of everything you’ve been taught.

    Like so much, it starts with the crystal. You have to have picked the right crystal. The crystal will channel the Force for you, but some work better than others, so you have to be careful. Kyber crystals are kind of alive – you can feel them in the Force. And like anything that is alive, it takes to some people and doesn’t care so much for others. That’s the whole point of traipsing off to Ilum to find your crystal. You have to attune yourself to the Force, and the Force leads you to the one crystal that is a perfect match, not just for you but for the crystal. The right crystal will want to work with you. (It used to be that you constructed your lightsaber on Ilum, too, but for practical purposes, everything has been centralized at the Jedi Temple for years now.)

    So anyway. Saleris was nervous about following the schematics, but I had that part down cold. I’ve always been good with mechanical things. The important thing to remember with making the lightsaber is to hook the power emitter up properly. If you have a crystal that’s emitted too weakly, the blade will be unstable and it won’t respond the way you need it to. If it’s too powerful, then the whole thing will literally blow up in your face.

    (I suppose you could vent the crystal, maybe at the bottom or with side vents, so that excess energy just shoots off of it, but you could avoid the whole problem by just picking the correct crystal in the first place. (Of course I didn’t tell Sal any of this because too much mechanics will just get him nervous. He needs step one then step two and then step three. If I say “do step one, but here’s another option,” his bumpy green head would explode.))

    The hilt of the lightsaber is actually very simple to make. In fact, there is a universal template that is used to create a basic lightsaber hilt. They are forged right here in the temple. Once you have the generic hilt, you can fancy it up however you like. Some people like to extend it and put a bend into it so you hold it almost like a pistol. Lots of people like to add designs to it, to personalize it, which is understandable since so much of our day is spent in Jedi uniforms.

    As for the component parts, they are pretty much standard issue. Every lightsaber is essentially the same thing. There is the power source in the hilt, the energy gate that allows the crystal to access the power source, you have the crystal sitting near the top of the lightsaber. There are modulation units right next to the emitter so that you can control the blade, and you have to wire the mod units to the hand switch so that you can control what kind of blade you need. Naturally you have the switches and the kill switch, and you have a blade emitter shroud to protect your hand from the heat of the blade. That’s all the mechanics, pretty much. Really, the lightsaber is a big energy reflector. The power source stimulates the crystal, which amplifies and focuses the power, and then it gets bounced out of the business end as plasma energy. The modulators keep the energy at a constant level. I’ve included the schematics in this journal, in the addendum section, just for fun.

    That’s the easy stuff.

    The tricky stuff is that you have to put all that together without physically touching any of it.

    So I have to use the Force to pull the components together, to seat the crystal, to wire everything up. It’s tricky as anything. Plus since the crystal is highly receptive to whatever sense you are sending out in the Force, it can be temperamental. Moody, even. If you aren’t receptive to what the crystal is telling you, like if you’re too focused on getting the wiring done right and you aren’t allowing yourself to flow completely through the crystal, too, then the crystal can shut right down on you and that’s the end of that. So it’s a big juggling act.

    The nature of the crystal gives the blade their different colors. The color of the blade often reflects the color of the crystal, but not always. Master Windu’s blade is violet but I understand that the color of the crystal is blue. So even though my crystal is clear with green flecks, it doesn’t necessarily mean I will have a green blade. The color reflects the state of Force consciousness of the user. I once learned that Sith had red blades. They got that way because the Sith would force their feelings of rage and hate and evil into the crystal, causing it to “bleed” red. I don’t expect that to happen to me.

    But back to the lightsaber. Yeah, you have to lay the components on the floor in front of you, then you kneel in front of it and go into a deep meditation. Using only the Force, you visualize what you want the components to do. If you do it right, then the components levitate and they align just like you see them in your mind. All this time you also have to have the purest of thoughts, the clearest of visions, and the sharpest of focus. You must completely give yourself over to the Force, and go into a deep trance. You must achieve this state of being a part of the lightsaber, so that the lightsaber can be a part of you. It needs to react instantaneously to your needs. The crystal needs to be able to sense what you want it to do. I’ve heard people say that when they made their lightsaber, it was as if time became different. They were surprised at how long they took to make it because it seemed only a few minutes to them. That’s how deeply in their Force trance they were.

    If you do everything right, then the lightsaber becomes an extension of you. You bond with the crystal, and a bit of you will live in your crystal. It listens to your midi-chlorians, and communicates with them. I suppose that if for some reason you had a lightsaber that belonged to a relative, like if a brother had his sister’s lightsaber, it could still work since the midi-chlorians are close enough for the crystal’s purpose, but for most of us, it would take a hard time to be able to work successfully with someone else’s crystal. That’s why when a Jedi dies, their lightsaber is usually consumed in the fire with them.

    Tomorrow Saleris and I will go to the Master’s chambers at the temple. He will go into one room, and I will go into another. We will undertake the lightsaber trial. I hope so much that by the end of the day tomorrow, we are both wearing our very own lightsabers at our side.

    I’m more ready now than I ever will be. I’ve done this trial in practice a hundred times. I’ve mastered the levitation techniques and I’ve managed not to get sick, and I know I won’t have any problems with the mechanical aspects of it. I commed Master Quinnus and he told me to trust in the Force and understand that the Force has its own plans for me, so whatever happens will be the will of the Force. Maybe, he said, the Force wants me to have this second chance! Bo said he is sure I will do great, and he is going to make me ribenes with sunspice rub as a victory dinner. Geor told me I would be fine, then he slapped me on the back and immediately got worried that he slapped my back too hard but I laughed it off. And Surrex said I was sure to hit it on target, just like the great Alderaanian limmie player Corran Irylicon did in the finals. Everyone has faith in me. I hope I don’t let them down. I don’t know what I will do if I fail again.
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Superb details about the mental and literal preparedness. You can feel Kash's readiness to take on the construction. He seems able to accept whatever the outcome is. [face_thinking]
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    I love how you detailed the art of building a lightsaber here, with the contrast between the mechanical/technical aspect and the spiritual aspect -- how the crystal bonds with a particular Force user, and how the builder must call upon all aspects of the Force to actually craft the lightsaber. You almost seem to imply that a lightsaber cannot be built by someone who would have to touch it, that the reason why it must be built using telekinesis isn't just a trial of skill but a necessity in order to complete the bonding between the crystal and the user. Nice nod to TFA too, that reference to the exhaust vents ;)

    Needless to say, I'll be rooting for Kash and Saleris tomorrow (or when the next update comes). They can do it, I know they can!
  7. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Kash has defenetly prepared himself for the test. Itresting to learn more about the construction of lightsabers and their connection to the Jedi who use them. They are defenetly more than just weapons but a symbol of the Jedi. I hope Kash and Saleris will past the test this time, they have worked long and hard for this. Hopefully their determination will be rewarded.
  8. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Catching up yet again…

    10: This entry starts out wistful and ends up joyful! I know just what Kash is talking about with that difficult feeling of things not being the same between once-best friends, and I could totally see where Saleris’s news about his own testing would bring that feeling out (not that Saleris is trying to hurt his feelings by saying that). But now I know for sure what a good friend Saleris actually is: he didn’t forget Kash and what Kash had done for him, and he mentioned as much to Master Si-Korran—which no doubt went into Si-Korran’s invitation to retest Kash. Kash has a wonderful new chance now to achieve his dreams of Jedihood, and it’s all because his "little brother” put in a good word for him. Definitely a wonderful instance of “casting one’s bread upon the waters," because Kash certainly never expected anything in return for his encouragement and mentoring of Saleris—much less this! That beautiful crystal that he’s held on to for so long is going to come out of its box and sing again. Of course it didn’t pass me by that even at that early stage he had visions of that mysterious girl and of giving her the crystal—I suspect that that still will come to pass in some form, somewhere down the line. [face_love]

    11: In the way he recounts all the painstaking details of lightsaber assembly here, I can almost hear Kash’s own nerves humming and vibrating like that kyber crystal out of sheer anticipation of the whole thing. (And what amazing, beautiful details they all are—I’m not sure how many are yours or how much of this is established, but it’s all kinds of cool.) There’s so much one has to get just right—the correct crystal, for starters, and then one has to assemble everything according to the schematics using only the Force and not one’s own hands, which in turn means one has to be temperamentally and emotionally in a state of pure balance before one even begins, and that one has to maintain that state throughout the entire process. In particular, I love what he says about having to become a part of the lightsaber in the proces of making it—what a cool inverse of the concept of the lightsaber being an extension of the Jedi’s own self.

    All the same, it’s reassuring to know that at least some parts of the process are standard and the same for pretty much everyone, like the universal hilt template and the schematics that are probably issued to everyone. (Indeed, I smiled when you mentioned those things, because it put me in mind of something similar in a recent story of mine about lightsaber repair—though you’ve done a much, much more elegant job with the technical details here than I did there).

    Fingers crossed for Kash and Saleris as they undertake this milestone task! Even though they’ll be working in different rooms, I can see already that they’ll be inspired by each other’s differing abilities and strengths. And the fact that they are surrounded by a wonderfully encouraging circle of friends will no doubt count for a whole lot, too (love that the words of encouragement all reflect the various personalities of those friends). [face_good_luck]
  9. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    Kash has indeed come very far and seems ready to accept whatever fate he is dealt. However, wherever he ends up will be lucky to have him.
  10. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Like so much, it starts with the crystal. You have to have picked the right crystal. The crystal will channel the Force for you, but some work better than others, so you have to be careful. Kyber crystals are kind of alive – you can feel them in the Force. And like anything that is alive, it takes to some people and doesn’t care so much for others. That’s the whole point of traipsing off to Ilum to find your crystal. You have to attune yourself to the Force, and the Force leads you to the one crystal that is a perfect match, not just for you but for the crystal. The right crystal will want to work with you. (It used to be that you constructed your lightsaber on Ilum, too, but for practical purposes, everything has been centralized at the Jedi Temple for years now.)

    With words on kyber crystals. No wonder the sabre blade of darksiders are red. There must be no cooperation from the crystal whatsoever until their will is broken and they cry their red tears basically.
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha likes this.
  11. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    Thank you for your comments!:) Kash is the type of guy who likes to be prepared for everything – he never just “wings it.” He’s grown a lot, and he understands that whatever happens will be up to the Force, but he really, really hopes he can be the Jedi Knight he has dreamed of becoming.

    Thank you very much for replying! I knew that the lightsaber has to be created telekinetically but I inferred that there is a deeper meaning to it rather than just being a Jedi show off. [face_thinking] If you have to touch the weapon then you aren’t using the Force to create it. And since kyber crystals are both attuned to the Force and are also “living crystals” it makes sense that the creation of the lightsaber is really a bonding process, through the Force, of the crystal and the user. The bonding started on Ilum when the user found that one particular crystal that called to them, and it is completed when the crystal and the Jedi create the lightsaber together.

    And thanks for catching the TFA reference!;)

    Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Saleris and Kash have become very close friends, and like a lot of teenaged friendships, they started growing apart when they weren’t doing the same things together anymore. And it’s true that Saleris put in a good word for Kash to Master Si-Korran, who wouldn’t have looked in Kash’s direction otherwise. [face_love] Saleris misses his Big Brother, too.

    Kash is a nerd – he loves mechanical things, so the physical construction of the lightsaber is a piece of cake for him.:-B Going over the details of the construction also gives Kash a confidence boost – he knows he’s got this part down cold.
    The chapter is a mix of my own information and established information. I went a bit deeper into the symbiotic relationship of the crystal and the Jedi. Since the kyber crystal is Force attuned, and since there is a connection or bond created between the Jedi and the crystal when the crystal is acquired, it seems logical that the creation of the lightsaber is the culmination of that bond. The crystal (and the lightsaber) work with the Jedi, not for him or her. It’s mutual. You have to have your own crystal or else you won’t be able to use it as well and as naturally as you could. I retrofitted the idea that Luke could use his father’s lightsaber since the crystal in Anakin’s saber would have recognized Luke’s midi-chlorians as being close enough to Anakin’s. So close family members could use each other’s lightsabers pretty easily but they would not be as adept with someone else’s lightsaber. The crystal and the Jedi pick each other, and they work together.

    There have got to be some parts to the lightsaber that come completed and ready to go. The physics would be the same for each, and the basic hilt design, so it seems silly to create each one completely from scratch. After all, the important part of constructing the lightsaber is the bonding with the crystal, which can only be achieved through a state of pure Force immersion.
    (I think I know which story you’re referring to, and I need to go read that one!)

    Thanks again for this generous response. Kash and Saleris are both undergoing the most important events of their lives. Whatever happens, they know for sure that they have each other’s friendship and that they have so many others who are there for them, too.[:D]

    Thank you! That’s so sweet, and Kash would be blushing to hear you say that.[face_blush] He wants so badly to be a Jedi Knight, but you’re right, he has matured enough to understand that the Force has plans for him that he may not understand right now.

    Thank you for your comments! I see the connection between the kyber crystal and a Jedi as a mutual bonding, where the crystal and the Jedi work together. The crystal calls to the particular Jedi and it wants to work with him or her. They become a team. It’s like how in Harry Potter, the wand chooses the wizard. So if you think about it, the fact that the blade of a Sith is red because the Sith imposes his or her will upon the crystal and forces it to comply, that’s pretty cruel (and creepy). The crystal becomes a prisoner of the Sith, who twists its power into something to be exploited. For Kash, the Sith are something that hasn’t been around for hundreds of years. Like the others, Kash believes them to be extinct. He is giving his best guess as to why the Sith blades are red.
  12. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Entry 12.

    It’s over. I can’t do it. I failed again.
    I’m nothing but a failure.

    Entry 13.

    I’ve had a couple of days now to meditate and reflect on my failure in assembling a lightsaber.

    At least I failed pretty spectacularly. They’ll remember this one. Sometimes I think the Force has a very cruel sense of humor.

    Everything was going right. I had a really good feeling about it when Saleris and I came to the Masters’ chambers. He was actually the one who was nervous, so I told him to just relax and let the Force guide him. He thanked me, and then he went into the room where he would undergo the test.

    I came into the room where the masters were waiting for me. Master Fisto was there, as was Master Doranni. They greeted me and I knelt before them, and they told me to proceed. I unrolled the cloth case with all the lightsaber parts, took the components out, and I laid them on the cloth in front of me. I closed my eyes and began the mantra.

    The crystal is the heart of the blade.
    The heart is the crystal of the Jedi.
    The Jedi is the crystal of the Force.
    The Force is the blade of the heart.
    All are intertwined: the crystal, the blade, the Jedi. We are one.

    Everything was going fine. I had gotten into that state where I was one with the Force, and the Force was with me. In my mind I could see the pieces levitate. I was able to manipulate them into position. I took my time and kept my thoughts pure and clear. I was ready to seat the crystal in the socket ---

    --- when it suddenly felt as if I was choking to death.

    I opened my eyes and I saw chaos. The masters were gone, and I wasn’t in the room anymore. I was in the Jedi Temple archives. The air was heavy with smoke and bitter fumes. Klaxons were blaring, there was a bright red light shining in the corridor.

    I could hear shouting and the sound of blasters. There were the occasional sounds of lightsabers humming, but then they would stop. I got up from my knees and ran to the end of the archive cabinet, and when I peeked around the corner I saw a clone trooper. I figured there must be some kind of separatist attack, so I was just about to call out to the trooper to see what I could do to help him when I saw him shoot at a youngling.

    This youngling could not have been more than ten years old. The boy had a lightsaber and was attempting to defend himself- he hadn’t raised his blade offensively at all – and the trooper shot him in the chest. The youngling stared at the burned spot on his chest in disbelief before falling forward. Then the trooper marched forward and stepped right over him.

    Horrified, I pressed myself back into the dark alcove of the archives. The archives themselves were shorting out, files and data modules sparking and burning, leaving charred metal where the records were. The smoke was getting thicker and I realized that not only were they shorting out electrically, the archives were actually on fire, and the fire was spreading. No emergency fire control system was kicking in. I was going to have to get out of there or I would suffocate. I had the distinct sense that the fire was deliberate. But who would set the archives on fire? It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I was afraid my coughing would attract the clone trooper’s attention.

    With effort, I pushed myself up from where I was crouching and I ran into the shadows of the dead archive towers. I came out by the inquiry consoles. From there I could get a good look at the central rotunda to the archives. To get out of this I would have to cross the rotunda and make it to the exit lifts, but that was where all the shooting seemed to be coming from. If I turned back, I could use the stairways, but the smoke behind me was getting worse and the fumes were brutal. I put my sleeve up to my mouth to try to filter out the dense smoke but it didn’t really help much. Breathing was getting more and more difficult, and by now my throat and lungs felt like they were on fire, too.

    My eyes were stinging so badly I didn’t think I would be able to see anything for long. Then the smoke cleared for a fraction of a second and I had a clear view of the central rotunda. That’s when I saw the bodies. Mainly Jedi, younglings and adults both, and one or two clones. Most of the Jedi were shot to death but there were a few whose bodies clearly had the marks of a lightsaber attack. I wanted to throw up. Who would do this? I could hear the rapid fire of blasters coming closer. It was nearly impossible to breathe between the toxic fumes and the thick smoke. And through it all, as I reached out in the Force to try to find a way to escape, I could sense this feeling of rage and hatred. Then a thought hit me – they’re flushing you out. Something was hunting, and I was the prey.

    The next thing I knew I was waking up in a bed in the Temple infirmary. A med droid was nearby.

    I felt exhausted. Master Fisto was there next to me. He looked relieved when I turned my head and looked up at him.
    He shushed me. “Don’t try to get up, Kash,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot.”

    Then Saleris came into my line of vision. He was wearing a padawan’s brown tunic and a shiny new lightsaber hung on his belt. “Brother, we were so concerned. I’m glad you’ve come back to us.”

    “What happened?” I asked weakly.

    Saleris and Master Fisto exchanged a worried look. Then Master Fisto spoke. “We were hoping you could tell us. You suddenly went silent in the Force, as if you had left the room. Then your presence in the Force came back, and you collapsed. You’ve been unconscious for two days.” He paused for a moment. “Kash, you had damage to your lungs consistent with smoke inhalation.”

    “It was on fire,” I rasped. My throat still hurt.

    “What was?” Master Fisto asked.

    “Everything,” I said. Then I closed my eyes and felt the exhaustion cover me like water. I whispered again. “Everything.”

    The mantra is taken from Star Wars: The Jedi Path.
  13. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Fascinating =D= =D= Kash had a vision of the future, at the end of ROTS, apparently during Order 66 [face_thinking] But :eek: wow, he was not just seeing it, but living through it! [face_worried] Otherwise, he wouldn't've had smoke inhalation! Whew, that's not technically a trial failure, per se but it will definitely make him leery of another attempt.
    divapilot likes this.
  14. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Oh no, poor Kash
    He has worked so hard for this second chance and now its taken from him. The vision was pretty scary especialy as we know it is going to happen soon. The order 66 is probably the darkest moment in SW and Kashs vision of it seems so acurate that its terrifying. Especially as he seemed to have been there, instead of just watching it.
    I'm excited what Kash will do now. Will the Jedi give him another chance for his trial? Or will he retun to the agri corps?
    Findswoman and divapilot like this.
  15. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    Poor Kash! That had to be a terrifying experience and to come back with smoke inhalation damage . . . . There are going to be Jedi that want answers but he won't be able to give them.
  16. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Oh dear. On the one hand I feel terribly sorry for Kash, not only for failing his trial but also for witnessing such a scene in such a realistic, even material way... On the other hand, I'm thinking that having had this vision might turn out to be his best chance at surviving Operation Knightfall, either because he won't be there or because he'll recognise the scene and know what to expect when it finally happens. What is truly terrible is that we know that the Jedi Council won't take his vision seriously, or at least not seriously enough to prepare adequately for it. One can only hope that Kit Fisto understands how exceptional this vision was for Kash's sake, because we already know that the Jedi are doomed :(
  17. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    Entry 11: What wonderful details, expanding on what we already know about kyber crystals and lightsaber construction to such a beautiful degree! (I especially loved the jab at 'venting' the crystals. [face_mischief]) Kash certainly knows his stuff - he really does have a knack for mechanics, but it's the mental/emotional bond with the Force and crystal itself, you could say, that has him nervous - the poor dear! I loved his going over the process with Saleris, too. He really is good for his friend, and I'm interested to see where this trial goes for both young men . . .

    Entry 12: Oh, oh, oh. The brevity here was a gut-punch. Poor Kash! :(

    Entry 13: Oh, Kash. :( [face_worried] Everything seemed to be going well, but for being so engrossed in the Force, the Force showed him quite the vision. We know what he is seeing, of course, but for Kash then and there, how horrifying and bizarre that must have been. But the thing that really intrigued me is the new detail that this seems to be more than a mere vision. He had smoke and fire damage to his body; he wasn't just seeing this vision, he was there. I can completely understand Master Fisto's concern, and Kash's own sense of dread and disquiet over that revelation. That was an intense update - a turning point for Kash, I think, though I am curious as to where exactly this will turn him . . . [face_thinking]

    This was fantastic work, as always! I can't wait for more. :) =D=
  18. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh, Kash, ouch, ouch! :( Such anticipation, building up to such a moment, and then to such disappointment... that super-short entry really was a gut punch. But when Kash regains enough composure to tell us the full story (and it's completely believable that that would take him some time)... well, how could it be possible for a person not to be knocked out of commission by that kind of full sensory flashback? The excruciating, step-by-step detail in which he remembers all that happened is especially striking: it was more than a vision, for sure (and the smoke inhalation proves it). And the fact that the masters didn't sense his Force presence while it was happening makes it look very much like he had another one of those out-of-body time displacement experiences again. Thank goodness that Master Fisto seems pretty understanding and concerned about it all; it's notable that he doesn't speak about the incident in terms of failure, even though Kash does—and I sure hope Kash's other mentors will follow that example in their further investigations of the incident. And of course it's wonderful to see "little brother" Saleris checking in on him—a true friend. [face_love]

    Another obvious question that comes to mind: when Kash gets around to telling his superiors what he saw, will any of them believe him? We readers know how momentous the scene in his vision actually was; does he know, and will his superiors? Don't answer those questions yet, though—I know the story eventually will. ;)
  19. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    Thank you! Yes, it was terrifying for him. He was actually there, just as he was actually there when he transported back when he was living in Salliche. Only this time it wasn’t a peaceful vineyard he wound up in but a war zone. The problem is he never knows when it will happen and he can’t control anything when it does.

    Thanks for your reply. We know what he is seeing, but for Kash, the idea isn’t even conceivable. The idea that someone would launch an attack on the Jedi Temple is something he just can’t even process. So not only is he trying to keep alive, he doesn’t know what he is even fighting. Of course, Kash has no idea that the masters are beginning to sense a Sith threat, which makes this experience even more confusing for him.

    Thank you for your reply! Kash has had a wild experience, and he bears the physical damage from it. There's no denying that he was there. Unknown to Kash, the Jedi masters are already suspecting treachery, and this is a clue from a very unexpected place. But like you said, Kash has no idea what the heck just happened.

    Thank you, Chyn, for your reply. One thing that has been going on with Kash, and that you make a reference to here, is the fact that the Force speaks to him differently. You’re right in that Kash is getting information on Order 66 that others can’t possibly know. Right now he is completely confused as to what he is seeing, but when the time comes, this will be familiar to him. He won’t be in that paralyzed state where he’s trying to comprehend the unimaginable. And as for the Jedi Council, who’s going to listen to this agricorp two-time trials failure?

    Thank you! It seems to me that if the crystal is attuned to the user, then the user is attuned to the crystal, too. There should be a symbiotic relationship between the Jedi and the kyber crystal. Kash and Saleris are truly like brothers, and they hope for the best for each other.

    Kash is pretty hard on himself. He can’t believe he blew it again.

    I can only imagine how inconceivable the attack on the Jedi Temple must have been. The students there had absolutely no inkling that anything was going to happen, and they were the least prepared to deal with the carnage. Kash has been given a very visceral experience, and he doesn’t know what to make of it. Unfortunately, there aren’t many others who can help him to figure it out. This is a turning point for Kash – this experience (both failing the trial again and his vision) will impact what happens to him from now on. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

    Thank you! Yes, he had been so hopeful that this time it would work. He is heartbroken. He had acclimated himself to the idea of giving up his dream, then his dream was offered to him again and then taken away again. It’s a real gut punch.
    The last time he experienced this event, he was all by himself. This time he had an audience. In one way, he has more information – the idea that his Force presence was suddenly, abruptly removed from the room, as if his very spirit had left. And the evidence for Kit and the others – the physical harm to Kash’s body – tells the masters that Kash did more than just pass out or have some kind of vision. This was a transportation to a different space or time.
    Kash is hard on himself, and he blames himself for the failure. But like you point out, neither Saleris nor Kit Fisto sees it as a failure. They are concerned for Kash and want to help him, regardless of whether or not he actually makes a lightsaber.

    The next couple of posts will deal with the fallout of this event. This time, though, there were witnesses to the experience, so they will have to at least acknowledge that something bizarre happened during Kash’s trial. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments.
  20. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Entry 13
    I went back to work today. I had been discharged from the infirmary yesterday afternoon, and I didn’t want to talk with anyone or see anyone so I just went back to my quarters and stayed there, by myself. I’m not ashamed to say that I spent some time crying. But it’s the will of the Force that I failed again. I don’t have to like it, but I do have to accept that. I figured I might as well get the sadness over so that I can carry on.

    So I carried on. I got out of bed at my usual time. When I came back to my room yesterday I didn’t bother to look around at anything, seeing how eager I was to take part in my allocated appointment with self-pity. Today, I glanced over at my desk, and I noticed that on it was the carrier for my lightsaber components: someone had taken the time to collect all the pieces of my lightsaber and put them neatly back in their cloth, then roll up the cloth and tie it shut. I took down the small box from the shelf over the comm unit and opened the lid. My kyber crystal was back inside it.

    I put the box back on the shelf. Then I used the fresher, washed up, shaved my face, cleaned my teeth, and neatened my hair.

    Then I got dressed. I put on my light brown pants and my dark brown boots. My green Agricorps tunic was in the closet, right where I had put it before I had attempted the trial again. No brown Padawan tunic for me. I put the green tunic on and straightened it.

    I was an Agricorp Jedi. That’s all I will ever be now. I need to accept it, and I might as well start now.

    So I went to work today. I just wanted to sit down and be left alone to catch up on all the work I had missed over the past few days. I could sense people walking around me cautiously, as if not sure what to say to me. I hated the rancid smell of pity. It’s one thing to feel sorry for yourself; I think in some ways I have a right to wallow in my disappointment as long as I get out of the wallowing pool and move on, but when others feel pity for me it makes me feel powerless. I put my shields up and blocked out their thoughts.

    Here’s the thing about blocking out other people’s emotions, though. It leaves you with only your own. (How do people who aren’t attuned to the Force do it? All the time, all alone in their thoughts? It must get so lonely.) I tried to focus on the mathematics of the algorithm I had been working on and it helped for a little while, but the memory of the vision kept intruding. Soon I was less interested in self-pity and more and more consumed with going over the vision in my head.

    It had been real. I had really been there. It was the same exact sensation as that time when I had distance projected back on Salliche and I had talked with that guy in the fields. Only this time I was in the temple. Since I hadn’t gone some place different, it had to be that I had gone some time different.

    Eventually I couldn’t focus on my work at all. I was of no use to anyone here, so I got up, left my station, and told my coworkers that I needed to take a walk. I made my way to the archives. I had to see this for myself.

    Now, the archives are huge. There are rows and rows of data storage units, where the files for all the Jedi knowledge EVER are stored along with the essential knowledge of nearly every system in the republic. You could spend hours there looking things up. Days, even. They have literally everything. It’s like a museum. I think they even have an original copy of The Book of the Whills there, made of paper and not flimsiplast. Some things, like the holocron vault and the artifacts like The Book of the Whills, are off limits, but I still had a lot of area to cover.

    I wandered around until I found the particular place where I had been in my vision, in the north wing from the rotunda. I traced my hand along the access panels of the data cabinets. In my vision, these were all sparking and smoking, and flames shot out where circuits were melting. The heat from them would burn you to touch them. But here, now, they were cool to the touch and the only thing that came from them was a quiet hum. I placed the palm of my hand on the file, then closed my eyes and tried to place myself back there.

    “Can I help you?” A woman’s voice shocked me out of my focus.

    I turned around and saw Master Nu. (I tell you, that woman is scary. She snuck right up on me like a ghost.)

    “Master Nu,” I stammered. “I – I don’t know…”

    She tilted her head and frowned slightly. “Are you all right, young man?” she asked.

    Do I tell her? She’ll think I’m crazy. But maybe she knows of an attack that happened here centuries ago. (Not that I’m saying she was there personally. She’s old, but come on.) I decided to trust her.

    I took a deep breath and let it out. “Master Nu, I had a vision. In my vision, all of this was on fire.”

    Her eyes widened. “On fire?” Then she composed herself. “Young man, the archives are highly protected. Any event that would endanger these records would be addressed immediately. And fire is highly unlikely. In order for a fire to occur, the emergency systems would have to be turned off or overridden. And the temperature for the circuitry to melt – “

    “Would have to be so large as to have been artificially induced.” I finished for her. “I know electronics. The only way for the kind of fire that I saw in my vision to happen is that someone would have had to deliberately surge the system.”

    She stared at me for a moment, her eyes narrowed. “Come with me,” she commanded. Then she turned, her brown skirt and beige tabard swinging with her brisk motion. I ran after her. That old lady can move fast when she wants to. We went to her office, and she gestured for me to sit.

    “Tell me your name, young man,” she said as she sat behind her own desk. She placed her elbows on her immaculately clean desk and folded her hands primly. Her cold blue eyes seemed to pin me to my chair.

    “Kash Ferros, sir.”

    “’Master Nu’ will do quite nicely. Tell me about this nightmare you had.”

    I swallowed hard. The memory of what I saw surged up and made me shiver. “It wasn’t a nightmare, Master Nu. And to be honest, it wasn’t actually a vision. I didn’t just see it in my mind. I was here. I was right over there, where you found me. And the data units were on fire.”

    She pulled her lips together thinly and frowned at me. “Who would have done that? For what reason?”

    “I have no idea. I thought maybe I was seeing something from the deep past, maybe even the Old Republic.” Then I realized that how could it have been the Old Republic if there had been clone troopers? The words started to come out quickly now. “The archives were burning. There was shooting and I saw people dead and dying, and I knew whoever was attacking was going to find me and they would kill me too. I just wanted to try to find a way out of there but I had murderers in front of me and deadly smoke behind me, and I had no weapon to defend myself with.”

    Her expression had turned from irritation to concern. “How did you get away, then, if you were trapped?”

    I sighed. “I didn’t get away. The vision ended. I was back in the room, but I was unconscious. I guess Master Fisto and Master Doranni took me to the infirmary. I was there for two days before I woke up.”

    “What did Master Doranni and Master Fisto make of your vision?” she asked.

    I shrugged. “I didn’t tell them about it. I came here to try to figure it out on my own.”

    Master Nu looked at me as if trying to decide what to make of my story. I could sense her gently probing me, trying to get a feel for whether or not I was telling the truth. I let her. I was telling the truth. Finally, she spoke. “Jedi Ferros, I believe you when you say you had this vision. But I assure you, I will take renewed steps to ensure that the archives are protected, now that you have warned me about this.”

    She rose from her seat, and I took the cue and stood up too. “Thank you for believing me,” I said. “Master Nu, I know what I saw. It was awful. The archives were burning, and people were dying.”

    She came around her desk and placed her hand on my shoulder, guiding me out of her office. “It’s clear that this experience has taken a lot from you. Try to get some rest. I’ll take care of this.”

    I thanked her and left her office. As I walked I looked around at the archives. I had never really paid this place much attention before. The place is really magnificent. So much knowledge, all in one place. Who would want to destroy knowledge? What good would it do to literally burn up all the history and culture of the Jedi order? How can you teach the next generation of Jedi without the knowledge of the past generations? It just didn’t make any sense. I went back to work, more confused than before.

    Later that day, towards the end of my shift, I heard a rap on the wall behind my station. I recoiled at the sudden noise – it reminded me of the blaster shots from my vision – then I realized I was just in our workspace. I dropped my shield a fraction and recognized the familiar signature of Saleris.

    I turned around. “Congratulations, Padawan,” I said to him.

    He smiled, but he looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Kash. I really am. I wanted us to both make it.”

    I sighed. I wasn’t mad at him, and just talking with him was actually kind of making my disappointment better. “I’m glad for you, Little Brother,” I said. “You deserve it. You worked really hard for this.”

    Saleris pulled up a chair next to me. “I’ve been reassigned. I’m staying in the Temple now. Master Si-Korran is going to train me to be a Temple guardian.”

    I smiled, and it was sincere. “That’s terrific, Sal. You’ll do great.”

    “Are you okay, Big Brother?” he asked me. “You were really out of it for a while there.” Saleris moved closer and spoke in a low voice. “What happened? Was it the same thing as when you were out in the fields that one time, and you thought you went to some other place?”

    “I didn’t think I went there. I did go there. I remember it all,” I said. “I think it happened again. I can’t control it.” I shook my head and snorted a laugh. “Great timing, huh. Of all the times to yank me out of the present and shove me who knows when.”

    Saleris put his hand on my sleeve and patted my arm. “If you want to talk with me, you know I will always be there for you,” he said.

    “Thank you,” I replied. It was a really kind thing for Saleris to say, but we both knew that wasn’t true. Saleris was Master Si-Korran’s Padawan learner now. He had to answer to Master Si-Korran. His time was no longer his own.

    Which made me think a bit. I raised an eyebrow. “So if you aren’t working on the food supply project, what brings you here?”

    “To see you, of course,” he said. He hesitated, then he held out a datacard. “And to bring you this.”

    I took it from him and stared at the datacard for a moment. Then I inserted it into my datapad. An image flickered, then a bluish holo of the stern and intimidating Master Windu appeared. The audio began and the holo image began to speak: “Jedi initiate Kash Ferros. You are ordered to appear before the Jedi High Council at 13 hours tomorrow. Be prompt.” The image flickered and disappeared.

    I kept staring at the space where Master Windu’s image had been. I couldn’t move. My heart was pounding. I was in serious trouble if Master Windu was involved.

    Saleris stood up. He put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. “It will be all right, Big Brother. Trust in the Force, and all will be as the Force wills it.” He sighed, then he turned and left. Thankfully he shut the door behind him.

    I raised my hands to my face and put my head in my hands. There can be only one reason that I’ve been summoned to the High Council. They can’t ignore how outrageous my failure was, how little control over it I had, and they see me as a liability.

    They are going to dismiss me from the Order.
    Ewok Poet, Findswoman and Chyntuck like this.
  21. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Love how candid Kash is about momentarily wallowing. Very natural. But then he becomes proactive, tries to absorb himself in work duties and then actually does some investigating and confiding in Master Nu. I am so happy she took his account seriously. Doranni and Fisto have to, at the very least. He definitely went some-when and had the physical effects to prove it. [face_thinking] In temporal displacement fics, it's interesting to see if foreknowing what will occur will actually keep it from happening. [face_laugh] Back to the Future SW style. [face_mischief] It would be terrific if Kash's experience led to greater vigilance and an actual derailment of Order 66. [face_thinking]

    I can totally understand Kash's apprehension about the upcoming debriefing. Mace can be intimidating, but LOL I know Yoda will have the bigger picture. :)
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  22. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Kash is such a brave young man in this difficult time. He doesn't deny his own grief and disappointment, he tries to deal with it as best he can and he still wants to understand what happened to him. I also found it very telling that he decided to talk about it to Jocasta Nu – he realises that this is something bigger than him and that he can't ignore it or deal with it on his own.

    I wonder what Jocasta Nu has in mind when she says she'll take all necessary measures to improve security in the archives. I'm also curious to know if he mentioned the clones to her at all – did his comment about how clones couldn't be in a vision of the past make it past his lips at all? Because she doesn't have much to go on if it didn't.

    Saleris is a true friend (I imagine he was the one who brought back the package with Kash's lightsaber components?) At this stage I feel terribly bad for him, because his success in the trials spells his doom, even though he doesn't know it yet.

    And that message from Mace Windu... Yikes! He's not very good at interpersonal relations, is he? :p I can't wait to read what will happen in that council meeting and how much the council members will say of their doubts about the situation in front of Kash. Because I've read BOHM I don't expect that he'll be expelled altogether, but in any case it's going to be an unpleasant moment.

    There's something about the Mace Windu's choice of Saleris to carry the message that makes things even scarier for Kash here. It's a bit as if he's made to face the fact that his friend succeeded where he failed. (Although chances are the reason Saleris is bringing the message just because you wanted to show how much he cares for Kash, not Mace Windu's intentions ;) )
  23. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Intresting chapter
    Its hard to see Kash this depressed over his failure. It defenetly must be hard for him, though its good to see that he told Master Nu about his vision and that she believes him. Its sad that it won't be enough when the order 66 is executed.
    I really liked the partwhere Kash wonders how non force users see the world and if they are lonley in their thoughts, it made me think about how different a Jedis view might be from our own.
    And now Kash is summoned by the council, I hope they don't dismiss him from the order. Maybe he is reasigned to Marfa.
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha likes this.
  24. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    All I can think of is that Madame Jocasta Nu spoke to the Jedi Council about what Kash said to her. At the very least she would have to explain why she wants to add precautions to the Archives and why.
  25. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004

    Once again, my heart is just twisted up in knots and aching for Kash. He is totally warranted his wallowing - but I adore how he doesn't give into his disappointment. He's trying to accept it, and move past it - just like a true Jedi, really. Of course, it's not just his own disappointment and sense of failure he's combatting, but the downright terrifying suggestion of his visions. Nevertheless, I think he is handling things remarkably well, and I'm proud of him for not burying what he saw - he shows great maturity in confiding in Master Nu, and I'm glad that she, at least, is posed to take him seriously. I have to think that she is the one who notified the Council to know something more was going on. [face_thinking]

    But the real treat of this update was Kash's relationship with Saleris, once again. I have to echo Chyntuck above - my first thought was that his Little Brother was the one who brought his lightsaber pieces back for him, and I am worried for his fate as well for him to go on and train as a Padawan now. But a Temple guardian completely fits his character! I can only imagine how happy he would be in another time, another place if the saga hadn't gone the way it did . . . Anyway, their affection is heartening, and just what Kash needed before receiving Master Windu's message. Yikes! Even though I want to believe that the Council is truly concerned, the tone of the message didn't do much to ally Kash's concerns. His own self-image is not helping that perception at all, either, I'd imagine. The poor thing! - worrying about being kicked out of the Order is all his over-stresses psyche needs right now. :( [face_worried]

    But this was a fantastic update, as always! I'm truly looking forward to more. =D=