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Coming Home (Luke, Anakin AU)--UPDATED 2/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by JediGaladriel, Jul 20, 2002.

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  1. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 1999
    I'm removing the original vignette to put it in order in the story (it has been very slightly altered to work in later plot elements).

    Click [link=http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1080417]here[/link] for the original vignette.
     
  2. shinjo_jedi

    shinjo_jedi Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 21, 2002
    Very nice :) Great story. Keep up the good work!

    Cheers,
    Shinjo
     
  3. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    Thanks, shinjo!
     
  4. ami-padme

    ami-padme Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 1999
    Wow...a really interesting idea (makes mental note to visit SOTJ's writing boards). I enjoyed the way Luke and Anakin related to one another, especially Luke forgetting about everything else besides their conversation. And the story about Amidala and Leia was very sad. :_|

    I know it's a one-post deal, but I can't get over the fact that Anakin went to have his normal family life...but left Luke behind at the Temple? Even if you don't have a background, care to make one up? I'll believe it. ;)

    Again, very interesting...
     
  5. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    Yeah, that's a weakness in the story, isn't it? Anyway, Sreya asked the same over there, so here's what I made up for it:

    [blockquote]Okay. If I ever expanded, I think it would work out that Kashi the Mon Cal gossip is actually right: Sometime between episodes 2 and 3, this branches off, because Anakin figures out what Palpatine is up to. He goes with Padme to the Senate and Padme confronts Palpatine with evidence. Palpatine reacts defensively. Anakin has previously gotten word to Obi-Wan, and when it begins, the Jedi start herding the Senators out. Palpy grabs Amidala and Anakin follows. There is a duel. Anakin ends up throwing him from the Chancellor's podium.

    After all this, the Jedi announce that he has to choose between his marriage and the Order (he had to tell Obi-Wan how he found out, and it involves Padme), and that's pretty much a no-brainer for him. His Jedi job is done. The twins are born. Obi-Wan comes to visit. There are arguments about this--Anakin doesn't want his children taken, obviously, nor does Padme. Leia, for her part, wants nothing to do with it. She spits up on Obi-Wan is is generally an uncooperative baby. Amidala rather triumphantly takes her back. But Luke is clinging to Obi-Wan's robes, and cries when he tries to leave. Both Anakin and Amidala understand that Luke is meant to be a Jedi. They all agree that when the twins are older--sixteen, perhaps, they will meet. Anakin doesn't exactly reconcile himself to being uninvolved, and constantly badgers Obi-Wan for information, which is why Obi-Wan is so adamantly interested--he's afraid all along that if he doesn't keep Anakin apprised, Anakin will revolt against the whole thing anyway. So the tenuous connection remains. [/blockquote]
     
  6. wstraka5

    wstraka5 Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Apr 22, 2002
    Wow, that was a good story. I assume that Luke is the same Luke that we are all familar with?
     
  7. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Sep 4, 2001
    That was fantastic, JG!

    Don't suppose I could talk you into writing the backstory as a complete fic, could I? ;)
     
  8. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    wstraka5, yup, that's him. Naberrie is Padme's last name.

    Lothi... Lord help me. I'm thinking about it.
     
  9. wstraka5

    wstraka5 Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Apr 22, 2002
    that's him. Naberrie is Padme's last name.

    JediGaladriel, that is what I suspected, but I wasn't to sure. I guess I am just confused how Luke got seperated from Anakin.

    Anyway, it was wierd to read this since I was looking at the script to ESB where Vader (Anakin) says that Luke should join him and be trained. I like the parallel.
     
  10. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Sep 4, 2001
    *offers JG flower and candy* Please?

    I'm even willing to wait until you finish Ascension of the Queen. ;)
     
  11. Darth_Silenous

    Darth_Silenous Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Mar 21, 2002
    JG--wonderful work here, as usual, with a very intriguing plot-bunny. I hope you continue along with this; it would be rather interesting to see Luke interact with a light-side Anakin. By the way: your writing never fails to impress me.
     
  12. KnightWriter

    KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2001
    Simply superb. Excellent dialogue and characterization.

    I noticed a steady undercurrent of loss inside Anakin as well, and Obi-Wan was right on target, I thought.
     
  13. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    You have another classic on your hands, JG. :)

    Great job! That was very touching and I enjoyed the interaction between Luke and Anakin. The backstory explains things very well.
     
  14. Daath666

    Daath666 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2001
    that was great, too bad there's not more :_|
     
  15. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Up with you!
     
  16. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Very very nicely done. I always find it hard to be sympathetic to Anakin, even in AU stories - but you set this up very well, and it gives a tug to the old heartstrings.

    Bravo.
     
  17. Darth_Silenous

    Darth_Silenous Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2002
    *goes on knees and begs*

    JG--please don't forget about this one. It's far too intriguing an idea to let go... (I guess this is just my way of saying I'm completely hooked) :)
     
  18. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    Oh, shoot. I know how the whole story starts now.

    It's a dream sequence.


    It was a matter of chance.

    No more and no less, no matter how often the Temple Masters tried to attribute it to the murmurings of the Force.

    Simply chance, an air taxi arriving at the Senate offices too early, an unlocked door, a young wife looking for a secret place to meet her husband.

    And finding the truth behind all of it...
     
  19. Darth_Silenous

    Darth_Silenous Jedi Padawan star 4

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    Mar 21, 2002
    OOhhh...the intrigue. Does this mean we'll be seeing more? :D :D
     
  20. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    Most likely. Darn little plot bunnies... they just keep kicking at the inside of my skull! :D

    Right now, kicking around, I have
    *This one
    *The sequel to "Family Portrait"
    *The continuation of Vertash's backstory, which is sort of a sequel to "The Flight to Rison's Deep" and sort of a prequel to "The Penitent"
    *A short story about Padme between Ep 1 and Ep 2 (details when I post it)
    *A possible expansion of "Father's Heart," giving more interaction between Vader and Leia, and possibly looking more deeply at the situation as others see it (including Obi-Wan)
    *Vertash and Kerea's wedding, for the "Acts of Atonement" thread
    *I do mean to get back to "The True Order," as well.

    And none of them can really be mixed with any of the others! Help! I'm drowning in stories!
     
  21. Darth_Silenous

    Darth_Silenous Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2002
    EXPANSION OF FATHER'S HEART??????

    Did I just see that?

    *cheers loudly in anticipation*

    Oh yes, please do! And a sequel to Family Portrait??
    My goodness, I'm hooked just waiting for this all to come about...
     
  22. jendiggity

    jendiggity Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    *echos sil's enthusiasm* :D :D
     
  23. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 3, 1999
    I still haven't got, like, a whole story to go with this. But I'm most of the way through the prologue. Here's the first half.

    ----------------

    Coming Home

    Prologue: Naboo

    "It was Palpatine."

    Over and over, he hears it in his dreams. She comes to him unexpected, having decided abruptly to send a decoy on her scheduled flight back to Naboo. His own flight had also been delayed by a minor malfunction in the thrusters of his starfighter. A matter of pure chance.

    Or of pure destiny.

    He doesn't know, and it doesn't matter. The why never matters in the end, only the what. And the what is that she comes to him, her face as pale as it ever was under her ritual makeup. She is trembling, partly with fear, but as much with rage and shame. He leaves his starfighter and runs across the hangar to her, to the devil with secrets. She is his wife, and something has upset her badly. His place is at her side.

    "It was Palpatine," she says, and it may as well be a language even Threepio is unfamiliar with. "It was Palpatine all along."

    The rest of the memory is a sharp and jangled mix of broken chords and cloudy images. The small holoprojector she had found, the one with Geonosian lettering. The flight to the Palpatine's office, the chase that ended in the great dome of the Senate. Lightning.

    The lightning most of all.

    Flashing in the vast darkness, sending up a great cloud of acrid smoke as it burned the engines of the mobile Senate boxes... yes, the lightning was the clearest memory of all. Being struck by it.

    Striking with it.

    That, most clearly. The power flowing through him, the horrible, fascinating, terrifying, addictive power...


    "Ani?"

    Her voice in the dark, calling him back from the rage.

    "Ani, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

    And the man he'd called a friend, the man who had mocked the very idea of friendship, falls before him, robes smoking, lightsaber wound through his chest, and still it isn't enough. The power is flowing as it did during the long bloody night on Tatooine, the night his mother died, and if he doesn't push it out, it will drive him insane...

    "Ani."

    ...but she is there and she touches him gently and holds him, and the power retreats, and they weep together in the smoky darkness...

    "Ani, open your eyes."

    Anakin struggled up from sleep. Far from the days when fear of his dreams had kept him awake, now the dreams seemed to take him down further into his memories, not wanting to let him up, trying to find some clue, some handle on why he couldn't let go of the humiliation of having been manipulated by Palpatine for so long, and the fear of what might have been, if Padmé had not, by chance, stumbled over the truth.

    He opened his eyes.

    Padmé was sitting up in bed beside him, her hand resting gently on his shoulder. The sun was starting to come up outside, and a lovely, silvery light cast her features into sharp relief. She bent to kiss his cheek, then smiled at him. "Welcome back."

    "Nice welcome." He raised his arm, and she snuggled comfortably under it, dispelling all the shadowy images of the dream. The battle was over and life was sweet. He kissed the top of her head and ran his mechanical hand up and down her spine, which always... delighted her. "How early is it?"

    "Early."

    "How long before you have to leave for your meeting?"

    He felt her smile against his side. "Five hours at least. And if you fly me into Theed at your usual pace, considerably more."

    "Hmmm. What could we do with all that time?"

    She stretched up, her spine making comfortable little noises, and kissed his neck. "I'm sure we can think of something..."

    A high-pitched wail broke the silence in the villa just Anakin was leaning down to kiss her.

    Padmé laughed softly. "Or they'll think of something for us. Which one is it?"

    Anakin felt for the twins' presences in the Force, found one agitated--probably wet--and the other starting to stir. "It's Luke," he said. "But it
     
  24. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    JG's incredible writing skills drag Jane kicking and screaming into the thread. She is determined not to like Anakin, until she sees that this isn't the Anakin she loves to hate. Feeling her heart start to melt, wondering why she put up such a fuss, Jane picks herself up, dusts herself off in an attempt to regain her dignity, and casually moves to block the view of the marks on the floor left by her fingernails

    Words fail me. Excellent start, excellent continuation. I especially liked the way that Anakin both loved and dreaded Obi-Wan's familiar presence.
     
  25. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    I love your stuff! Father's Heart is one of my favorite's. I love Leia/Vader stories. This one is great too! The scenes with Anakin/Padme and the twins are so sweet... :_|
     
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