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Beyond - Legends "Corellia Day" (L/M, kind of crack!fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JadeLotus, Mar 17, 2015.

  1. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2005
    Just a bit of silliness for St Paddy's Day. I wrestled with whether the SW universe would have emoticons and whether I should use them, and then I decided that yes, the Cinnamon Bun would definitely use emoticons!

    Also the formatting in the "texting" section isn't coming out how I wanted on the boards, but hopefully you get the idea and know who is saying what.


    Message sent: Primeday 2100 hrs
    Subject: Corellia Day?


    Since our last Corellian holiday was such a success, what do you say to meeting up there again on Corellia Day?


    Message sent: Primeday 2115 hrs
    Subject: Re: Corellia Day?

    Good timing - did you sense I was online?


    Message sent: Primeday 2116 hrs
    Subject: Re: Corellia Day?

    I had a feeling ;-) Want to switch to chat?

    Jadesky has joined the chat
    JediLuke has joined the chat

    Jadesky: Corellia Day, huh? And I wouldn’t call Celestial Day a success - I got completely legless!

    JediLuke: Literally - I had to carry you back to the hotel ;-)

    Jadesky: Ha ha. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, using emoticons over the Holonet.

    JediLuke: What about Luke Skywalker, Farmboy? :p

    Jadesky: Hmmm, maybe.

    JediLuke: :-D

    Jadesky: Okay, stop.

    JediLuke: <3

    Jadesky: Farmboy. Isn’t Corellia Day just an excuse to get drunk and wear green?

    JediLuke: Exactly. I thought it would be right up your alley!

    Jadesky: Aren’t we the comedian. Is Corran going to lend you his green Jedi robes?

    JediLuke: Nope - they’re too tight across the shoulders ;-)

    JediLuke: Mara? Did you faint thinking about me in tight fitting robes?

    Jadesky: You wish. I’m working as well.

    JediLuke: Oh, do you want to chat later?

    Jadesky: No, it’s alright. I can multitask.

    JediLuke: I know - to my great pleasure >:)

    Jadesky: Ha. What will the NRI security officer monitoring your communications think of you?

    JediLuke: That I have a talented wife.

    Jadesky: I’ll show you just how much next time I see you.

    JediLuke: :-D So...Corellia Day?

    Jadesky: It’s next week right? I think Karrde has me overseeing a trade deal of Rodia. I can probably swing by Corellia a few days afterwards if you’re still there?

    JediLuke: I wish I was, but I have to come straight back to the Academy - new students are starting and I need to be here to greet them. Maybe you could come here?

    Jadesky: Yavin’s too far from the Core, I wouldn’t have time to make it back to Coruscant for the trade summit in two weeks. Let Tionne deal with the new students, come and be my date!

    JediLuke: I really can’t, Mara. The Academy’s still finding it’s feet, and I need to keep a close eye on things.

    Jadesky: I know. I also know that you have a tendency to take on too much - it’s alright to ask for help, Luke.

    JediLuke: Says Mara “I play exactly as fair as my opponents” Jade?

    Jadesky: Point. But we’re talking about your shortcomings, not mine.

    JediLuke: Ah, your favourite hobby ;-)

    Jadesky: Second favourite ;-)

    Jadesky: There, I did one. Are you happy?

    JediLuke: Extremely. Except I miss you.

    Jadesky: I miss you too. I wish I could get to Corellia, but I just can’t.

    JediLuke: And you have to be the one to go to Rodia?

    Jadesky: It’s my contact - Shada will be with me, so she can meet them and hopefully take over next time.

    JediLuke: Maybe Shada can come to Yavin next time with you - I’d love the both of you to teach a hand-to-hand combat class.

    Jadesky: I’ll ask her. But it probably won’t be for a few months.

    JediLuke: Great. I should let you get some work done.

    Jadesky: Okay, maybe you can call next time, if the Academy finances will stretch that far.

    JediLuke: Very funny.

    Jadesky: I know there’s not much of a budget left after buying all those ugly bathrobes.

    Jadesky: Now, do you get a discount for them using the worst fabric possible, or is it the Jedi way to be scratched to death by coarse fibres?

    Jadesky: There is no nerf-wool, there is only roughspin.

    Jadesky: There is no comfort, there is only flagellation.

    JediLuke: Goodnight, Mara.

    JediLuke: I love you.

    Jadesky: Right back at you.

    JediLuke: Very funny. Can’t handle it?

    Jadesky: I’ve said it plenty of times.

    JediLuke: Never by comm.

    Jadesky: Goodnight Luke.

    Sent: Centaxday, 1301 hrs
    Subject: The Kid

    Hey Jade,

    I hear you’re leaving Luke to my devices for Corellia Day. I’ll try to keep him in one piece.


    Sent: Centaxday, 2300 hrs
    Subject: Re: The Kid

    You better, Solo. Remember, I have eyes and ears everywhere.

    Have a drink on me.

    Sent: Centaxday, 2348 hrs
    Subject: Re:ReThe Kid

    I’ll have several ;-)

    Message sent: Taungday 1907 hrs
    Subject: Thinking of you

    Dear Mara,

    This is probably a pointless message, but classes have finished for the day and I’m sitting here in my quarters missing you. You wouldn’t think that there was much around here to remind me of you, but that is where my mind dwells.

    When I wake up to an empty bed all I can think of is those blissful days over Midwinter on Coruscant, when you were in my arms every morning. When I’m eating breakfast I remember all of those times we ate bland ration bars and you shared half of yours with me because one never seems quite enough for me. When a student gets mouthy I think of all the times you never let me get away with anything, but most of the time you were right and I’d see it in the end. And now, in my quarters, all I can think of is how much brighter it would be with you here.

    Go on, call me a sap if you like.


    Message sent: Taungday 2035 hrs
    Subject: Re:Thinking of you

    Dear Luke,

    Maybe I like you being a sap. I miss you too - on some level I don’t enjoy my work here as much as a I used to, because I’m thinking about you, wondering how your classes are going, wishing I was there with you. I fit in at least an hour’s lightsaber practice every day, and I promise I’m trying to meditate. That’s...not going as well. I keep falling asleep.

    Shada needs more instruction than I first thought - she’s perfectly capable, but I underestimated the amount of knowledge about the organisation I’ve accumulated over the years. I’ve been trying to write notes for her, but most of the work is introducing her to my contacts and getting them to trust her. I haven’t officially resigned as Smuggler’s Alliance liaison yet since they’ve yet to find a replacement, and I received three more meeting requests for the trade summit on Coruscant. It’s probably a good thing you couldn’t make it, I will barely have time to sleep as it is.

    Other than your wandering thoughts, how are things at the Academy?


    Message sent: Taungday 2252 hrs
    Subject: Re:Re: Thinking of you

    You seem to be taking on more work, Mara, not reducing it. I know you have responsibilities, but if you’re not enjoying it as much as you used to, isn’t that more incentive to pass more on to Shada? I’m sure she can handle it.

    The Academy is running well. By the by, have you given any more thought to when I could schedule you in to give classes?


    Message sent Zhellday 0100 hrs
    Subject: Re:Re:Re Thinking of you

    Hardly subtle, Luke.

    Message sent: Zhellday 0130 hrs
    Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re Thinking of you

    It wasn’t meant to be.

    Message Sent: Benduday, 1135 hrs
    Subject: In the interests of sisterly affection

    Dear Mara,

    Please comm your husband, if only to spare me his despondent messages. I don’t know what you two are arguing about, or not arguing about as the case may be, but I have a very low tolerance for Skywalker whining. And yes I know the hypocrisy of that sentence so you needn’t point that out - I’m all Organa when it comes to that.

    Leia xo

    Message Sent: Benduday 1445 hrs
    Subject: Re: In the interests of sisterly affection


    He’s overthinking things again, I just needed some time to cool off. Perhaps I overreacted.

    But you’ll be happy to know I’m dialing his comm code now…


    Message Sent: Benduday, 1530 hrs
    Subject: Re:Re In the interests of sisterly affection

    Dear Mara,

    I hope you two sorted it out - get used to Luke overthinking things, though. Either he jumps in headfirst without thinking at all, or he’ll dissect and analyse something until all meaning is gone. There is no inbetween.

    Comm me later if you want to talk.

    Leia xo

    Textcommo, Centaxday Week 3, Month 3, 20 ABY
    Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

    1900 hrs
    Happy Corellia Day, Luke. Don’t let Solo
    embarrass himself.

    So I should take that as permission to embarrass myself?

    After all I’ve see you drink and somehow
    remain functioning, I don’t see how that’s

    Challenge accepted :-D

    1907 hrs

    You should see this Mara, it’s beautiful. If red was the colour for Celestial Day, then green is certainly the colour for Corellia Day.

    I’m sure. In a few hours the streets will be coloured a nice green shade of vomit.

    Ha ha.

    Did you end up wearing green robes?

    No, I’m wearing the green shirt you bought me for Midwinter, and I bought some dark green pants and boots today.

    Send me a holo please.

    2152 hrs

    How much have you had to drink now?

    Erm...I don’t know. A lot I guess.

    How do you feel?

    Alright. They’re singing Corellian folk songs.

    Sounds like a real party.

    It’s better than it sounds.

    Do they know the Virtues of King Han Solo?

    Ha! I’ll check.

    2210 hrs

    They did! I got the whole bar singing it. Han says he hates you.

    Then my work here is done.

    They’ve got this beer called Ginuhss, it’s really nice.

    It’s a stout - I would’ve thought it might be a bit heavy for you.

    You don’t know me as well as you think Mara! I like it.

    I’ll stick some in with the Academy’s next supply run.

    The bartender said you can make nerf-steak pie with this stuff! We’ll have to try it.
    I’m having another.

    Easy, Farmboy, that stuff it strong.

    I can hold my liquor, remember?

    2345 hrs

    They gave me a green tiara to wear. I think I look pretty.

    Ah, so you’re starting to feel the booze, huh?

    Nope, I feel fine. Hey, my lightsaber’s green…

    2350 hrs

    We got kicked out of the bar.

    0015 hrs

    There’s a parade going on!


    I’m going to dance.

    0032 hrs

    Hey wife, you’re missing out.

    There certainly are a lot of pretty Twi’leks here.

    Oh, they’ve asked for a Jedi demonstration, you don’t
    mind, do you Mara?

    Nice try, Han. Give Luke back his comlink.

    He’s indisposed.

    Still dancing?

    Yeah. I wasn’t lying about the Twi’leks.

    Take holofootage I can use for blackmail purposes later.

    Heh. I knew there was a reason I liked you, Jade.

    0058 hrs


    I still know it’s you, Han.

    Pretty good impression though huh?

    Give Luke back his comlink.

    Okay, we’re going to find another bar.

    0116 hrs

    I’ve lost my shirt.


    I thinks it stolen. Twi’leks. They gave me their dress.

    I’m sure you look lovely.

    It’s really comfy.

    0134 hrs



    Why haven you answer me?


    I talking to you.

    I can’t hear you, Luke, you have to type into the comlink.


    Still having fun?

    Bestest time. Wish you here.

    Me too.

    0209 hrs

    Wonats are cute we should get wonat

    0213 hrs

    I have wonat, I have to hide in my skirt. Shhhhhhh.

    0220 hrs

    I think I got away with it.

    0222 hrs

    It so cute I just want to feel toepads.

    0223 hrs

    He doesn’t like that.

    0224 hrs

    I still think he loves me.

    0246 hrs


    I’m going to bed now, Luke.

    Okay. GREEN.

    0301 hrs

    I feel sick.

    0310 hrs

    Room for more beer now.

    0315 hrs

    Just one more beer.

    0423 hrs

    I had more than one.

    Textcommo, Taungsday Week 3, Month 3, 20 ABY
    Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

    1132 hrs

    Awake yet, Luke?


    Sounds like it was some night.

    From what I can remember. I don’t know why, but I’m wearing a green dress and a tiara.

    I know. I have evidence - Han was wearing one too.

    For some reason it’s covered in frosting though.

    A drunken cake binge will do that to you,

    Why is there a wonat asleep on my legs?!?

    I think you adopted him during the night. NO YOU CAN’T KEEP HIM.

    He is pretty cute…. he has teeny little toepads! They look so soft.

    Go back to sleep Luke, You’re still drunk.
  2. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh, this is absolutely adorable! Just priceless! =D= I love the way you've translated some of our familiar modern-day modes of electronic communication into the GFFA, and I particularly love the different communications styles you've given each of our heroes and heroines. For some reason "Leia xo" had me particularly LOLing, I think because my doctoral advisor always used to sign her e-mails with "xo" (sometimes adding extra x's and o's if she was really happy). What fun too to experience a reprise of "The Virtues of King Han Solo," and to enjoy "this beer called Ginuhss"—many piled-up tee-hees. :D
  3. taramidala

    taramidala Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 1999
    BWAH!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!! :D
  4. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 5, 2004
    I saw "JadeLotus" and crack!fic" and my ears perked up. :D

    I LOVE these types of fics. So much fun.

    The chat between Luke and Mara was so cute.


    Their emails back and forth were really sad and reminded me about being in a long distance relationship. :( Karrde is lucky Mara likes him so much and didn't just say screw it, I'm out of here!

    I don’t know what you two are arguing about, or not arguing about as the case may be, but I have a very low tolerance for Skywalker whining. And yes I know the hypocrisy of that sentence so you needn’t point that out - I’m all Organa when it comes to that.

    HA! Point, Leia.

    Do they know the Virtues of King Han Solo?

    Ha! I’ll check.

    2210 hrs

    They did! I got the whole bar singing it. Han says he hates you.

    Aw man, why wasn't this a fan film?

    We got kicked out of the bar.

    0015 hrs

    There’s a parade going on!


    I’m going to dance.

    [face_rofl] Drunk Luke is adorable. And Han's impression was spot on! LOL.

    Please say this is going to be a holiday series ending with Mara leaving the organization for good? [face_whistling]
  5. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Ha! Love it! Farmboy is going to have the hangover of a lifetime.
  6. Revanfan1

    Revanfan1 Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 3, 2013

    Oh. My. Goodness. This is the funniest thing ever. I almost felt like I was intruding at first, reading somebody else's emails and texts! [face_laugh]

    The rest was gold, but from the time Luke started getting drunk, oh my goodness, I just kind of fell apart. This may be one of the funniest things I've read this year. This was just the best ever! So funny! [face_rofl]
  7. Briannakin

    Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 25, 2010
    OH GOODNESS. I was literally on the floor, laughing.

    Oh Han's email and this!
    That was amazing!
  8. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014


    Especially the Twi'lek dress part.

    From: stripes@trading-post.fe
    Subject: Busted!

    Niw you cannoy harm me if I keep on poking ypu.

    P.S. Sorry dwfotr errors, it-s hard to atzpe with six fingers. :(

  9. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] [face_rofl] This maxes out on the fun! cute! limit! [:D] [:D] Thanks for the hilarity! [face_love]
  10. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 18, 2008
    jadelotus - Oh. My. [face_laugh]

    This was ... so very much of what was missing from post-ROTJ EU. Just hliarious, and fun. :D

    (I did have to Wookie the wonat, though. Sounds like the kind of critter that might hang out around a party for the food. :p

    Thanks for sharing. =D=
  11. Irish_Jedi_Jade

    Irish_Jedi_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 19, 2007
    BWAHAHHAHAHHA!!! I love this!!!!!!!! So funny!!!!! Luke in a tiara + dress = priceless. [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    [face_good_luck] Irish
  12. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 22, 2013


  13. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005

    [face_rofl] This is hysterical. And so completely plausible!! Loved it!
  14. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 22, 2013
    Because it had to be done:


    It just had to be. [face_laugh]
  15. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    *in the voice of a gender-bender Ralph Wiggum kind of a character*

  16. taramidala

    taramidala Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 1999
    Aw, he looks pretty in green. A wee bit young, but still pretty.
  17. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 22, 2013
    It was the first photo I found on my hard drive that I knew I could easily Photoshop on the fly. :p
  18. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] Great post!! Loved it!
  19. Annia Piet

    Annia Piet Jedi Knight star 2

    Feb 7, 2015
    This made me giggle a lot, great stuff!
  20. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2005
    As I think we've discussed before, Luke is the ultimate Disney princess!
  21. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 22, 2013
    His full title is His Royal Highness Prince Luke Purest Cinnamon Roll Skywalker of Love. [face_laugh]
  22. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Apr 18, 2000
    Love it! This had me laughing loud enough that I thought I might wake my youngest. [face_laugh] I'm with Findswoman that you did a great job of porting modern communication modes into SW. It was a perfect way to showcase the multi-dimensional nature of the relationship Luke and Mara have.
    Gemma, Chyntuck, JadeLotus and 3 others like this.
  23. aleja2

    aleja2 Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 4, 2005
    Don't mind me, I'm over here on the ground laughing.

    This was really really fun! Loved it!
    Gemma, Kahara and JadeLotus like this.

    JEDIFLYSWATTER Jedi Master star 3

    Dec 10, 2004
    Boy this reminds me of to many Mardi Gras, Halloweens, New Years, St Patrick Day,or just because it is tomorrow! When in doubt ...throw a party. That is the way we roll down here in New Orleans.:) What fun they were having. Just have the IV fluids ready for the morning, Great job and thank you.
    Kahara and JadeLotus like this.
  25. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Oh this is just totally hysterical! I'm trying to figure out some favourite moments to quote but I may end up quoting the whole story. Other than Han's pri-ce-less email address I think I'll go for "In the interests of sisterly affection" [face_laugh] (so Leia...) But then there's "MARA I LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE MY X-WING" [face_rofl]

    Anyway. You get my point. I loved it all [:D]
    Gemma, Nyota's Heart and Findswoman like this.