Buff, NY Corrupted Wish Thread

On the free money tree, of course...

But... where is the free money tree???

 

On Grand Island, and you are able to find it, but...

The money is all radioactive from the Manhattan Project work done there.

 

Genie says, "No wishy, no fishy!"

I wish I could have a hot chef to cook me my dinner every night! Sigh!

 

Granted, but he prefers playing on the same team as himself.

I wish I had a brand new car without the payments!

 

Granted. Anything for you, Gil.

Now I wish for one of those myself.

 

Granted but then Xzibit and Mad Mike trick it out in the middle of the night with pink
smok'in tires, a 42 disk changer and a boom box that blows peoples clothes off!


Wish my children did what I asked them to do without arguing!

 

Granted, but then they find something else to argue about..

I wish my siblings would stop touching my stuff without my permission and my brother didn't break my $40 Wii, Wiimote... -_-

 

Granted, but then your parents have triplets, who will be worse than the current batch of siblings.

I wish I could have just one more day of summer.

 

Granted, but it's 95 degrees, raining, and you're in a convertible stuck in traffic with a broken roof.

I wish my lawn would mow itself.

 

Granted, your lawn mows itself in February when there is 47" on snow on top of it...the snow and grass clippings make a big mess on your lawn and you have to reseed in the spring.

I wish I didn't have to do so much work on the house.

 

Granted. You know live in a sod house and have flowers growing on your roof.

I wish I had a solar panel so I didn't have to pay big heating bills.

 

Granted, but it overheats your house and your air conditioning bills are astronomical...plus your AC smells like farts for some reason

I wish I was happy

 

Granted, but you perpetually have a Joker-esque grin plastered on your
face which freaks out drunk and easy chicks, nose picking children, and
annoyed hot dog vendors!

Wish I could move to Vegas and become a showgirl!

 

Granted, but when you arrive there, they reject you because you don't have enough tattoos and piercings in multiple places - you have to send for Jay to come and replace you.

I wish I could be 20 years younger... or maybe 25... or maybe 30.... 35?

 

Granted, but your physique doesn't change at all, You just feel 35 years younger.

I wish Thanksgiving would hurry up and come... (I's luffs the food <3 ).

 

Granted, Canadian Thanksgiving was last week! Too bad you missed it...

I wish my wife Ann would make pecan pie for Thanksgiving...

 

Granted, but she dumps you the day before thanksgiving and now Leroy is enjoying your wife`s pie.

I wish Leroy would stay away from my house.

 

Granted, but he's been replaced by The Guy.

I wish we could get him out of our collective consiousness.

 

Granted, but now he's been replaced by....The Girl!

I wish I could get this Seperation/Divorce thingy over already! Blah!

 

Granted, but Leroy and The guy are knocking at your door.

I wish this day would move faster.

 

Granted, but tomorrow Leroy and the Guy arrive at your house with a pie.

I hope I don't meet up with Leroy or the Guy.

 

Granted. Apparently, Leroy and The Guy are off looking for a con somewhere.

I wish we could send Leroy and The Guy to some neighboring planet, or perhaps just somewhere out of town.

 

Granted, but there`s no pie there so they come back.

I wish I could smell what the Rock is cooking. (it`s probably pie)

 

Turns out the Rock is cooking Liver and Onions.

I wish I could go on break and visit the 10 massage people outside my store... and wish I could spell massues...

 

Granted. Massagers, massagists, masseuses....

I wish I could get a massage.