Beyond - Legends "Countdown to - Infinity Porg!" (Legends/NEU AU with heavy Marvel; Skywalker OC, porg, silliness)

Author's note: Nothing serious, here; the prequel to my earlier 'fic, Beware - THE INFINITY PORG!!!: https://boards.theforce.net/threads...sw-marvelverse-transformers-mention.50049097/

No porgs were harmed in the making of this 'fic, and it's decidedly non-canon, even for my crazy AU - just fun.

Disclaimer: Everyone is Disney's, except for Dack, who's mine. Plus, L/M FTW.

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41 ABY: D'Qar:
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If there was one thing Dack Skywalker wished he could do, it was to be more help than just sitting down out of the way.

Momma an' Lady Betsy're busy getting ready helping Aunt Leia and the Resistance go to Earth to find Daddy, the not-quite-5-year-old thought, brushing red hair out of his blue eyes as he sat on a cargo box, watching troops load supplies onto transports.

He had his faithful stuffed bantha, Mr. Snorts, with him, and waited as Momma talked with Aunt Leia and Mr. Ackbar. BB-8 was off flying missions with Mr. Poe, and there weren't any other kids on D'Qar. Ben and Coric and Analynn were off to Earth helping Rey find Daddy and Jemma, so Dack was a little lonely.

<Hey, Dack?> he heard a growly voice call, and Dack looked up, smiling - there was Chewie!

"Hi, Chewie! Aren't you busy helping Unca Han get the Falcon ready?" Dack asked the Wookiee, who knelt down.

<We're almost ready to go. I heard how all your brothers and sisters went looking for Luke, so I thought you might want a friend to keep you company. This is an old friend of mine whom I received from Jagged Fel - he's still spry, for having joined us almost 14 years ago,> Chewie said, and Dack watched as something popped up from the Wookiee's back fur.

"Oh ... wooow," Dack said, smiling, as the bird - a porg, he remembered from reading holobooks with Momma - hopped down from Chewie and waddled over to him. He was careful to pet the porg gently, and after a moment, the bird seemed to smile.

<His name's Squawky. It's not very original, but it fits. He eats most anything, but he's housebroken and friendly. Usually, Squawky stays on Kashyyyk with Malla and Lumpy, but he stowed away on the ride back to D'Qar when Han and I gave the Falcon a shakedown cruise after Rey got it back from Jakku,> Chewie explained, and Dack nodded as Squawky fluttered a bit.

"Squawk?" the porg asked, and Dack gave him one of his animal crackers, laughing as Squawky hopped happily from foot to foot.

I think he's smarter than other birds, Dack thought, sensing real curiosity and kindness from Squawky through the Force. He waved to Lady Betsy as she walked in with some of the Galactic Anti-Decepticon Guard, and she smiled back.

Then, the air opened, and Momma, Aunt Leia, and Lady Betsy were upset, as some funny man in green and gold walked in.

He looked around, surprised, a funny spear in one hand, and a blue-glowing cube in the other - then, he looked at Lady Betsy with even more surprise and shouted in a Core accent, "PSYLOCKE!? THERE you are, Braddock! How did you end up here!?"

"LOKI!? Of all the lunatics to show up - ! We don't have time for your ridiculous games, trickster!" Lady Betsy shouted, turning on her lightsaber in one hand and her mind-sword in the other. Momma got her lightsaber, too, so Dack knew it was serious.

<Dack, we'd better get you to safety - Squawky! Get back here, you silly porg!> Chewie roared, but Squawky was too fast.

Loki looked surprised, then smiled in a mean way as Squawky flew around him. "Is this the vaunted Jedi mascot?" he asked.

"Don't hurt Squawky, Mister!" Dack yelled - he knew he really should hide, but Squawky was his friend, and needed help.

Momma and Aunt Leia felt scared, but for Dack, not because of Loki, and Dack tried to tell them it'd be OK - but he had to help. He ran toward Loki, watching as Squawky pecked at the blue cube, which broke, and Loki shouted when a blue stone fell out.

"Squawk!" Squawky said, fascinated by the stone, and he ate it - then, his eyes glowed blue, and Dack held his wing, worrying.

Squawky? Are you OK? Dack asked through the Force - he didn't really expect the porg to answer, but who knew?

Feelings and images rolled back - Squawky showed Dack five other stones, and they were really, REALLY powerful.

We can't let bad people get them. And if Loki's upset Momma, then he's gotta be bad, Dack agreed, frowning at Loki.

"You - you WRETCHED LITTLE - GIVE ME THAT PORG!" Loki yelled, aiming his spear, but Momma threw fire at him!

"Get AWAY from my child, you murglak!" Momma shouted, and Loki rolled away, dropping his spear.

We gotta get away before someone gets hurt! Dack worried, and Squawky nodded, holding out his wing, which Dack held.

They heard more shouting, but then, Squawky glowed blue.

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And they were somewhere else - with lots of rocks, and wrecked buildings.

"Squawky? Where are we?" Dack asked, surprised - he tried to be brave, holding onto Mr. Snorts and Squawky.

The porg nodded ahead, where Dack saw a tall man with blue skin yelling at a man with a jacket like Uncle Han's -

and a furry person putting two wires together so a man with green skin could shoot a gun at the blue man's hammer.

There was a purple stone in the hammer, and Dack nodded at Squawky - it was another stone!

The green man shot the gun, and the hammer blew apart - and Squawky flew SUPER-fast, and swallowed the purple stone.

"WHAT!?" the blue man shouted, REALLY angry, but Squawky flew fast back to Dack, and his eyes glowed purple now!

"Squawky, are you gonna be OK?" Dack asked - he didn't want his friend to get sick, but the porg seemed to smile.

"Kid! Hey, kid! We're gonna need that stone back, OK?" the man in the jacket called, but Dack looked as Squawky glowed again.

Dack just shrugged and waved, yelling, "Sorry, Mister! Squawky knows where more stones are!"

"MORE Stones!?" some of the people yelled - but then, Dack and Squawky were gone.

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This time, they were in a room full of glass boxes.

Uh-oh, Dack thought - this looked like pictures he'd seen of a museum, and he didn't think they should be there ... but Squawky was his friend, and the stones were really important to keep safe ...

"Squawk? Wak-Squawk!" the porg said, leaping up to one of the boxes and pecking at it - there was a smaller, black box inside.

"Squawky! We can't just take stuff! That's stealing!" Dack whispered, looking around - then, he sensed someone get closer.

He turned around and looked up at a man with white hair and a cape kind of like Mr. Lando's, who looked at him, surprised. "And just how, young man, did you and this - rare bird get into my offices without being detected?" the man asked.

"I'm really sorry, sir, but Squawky swallowed a blue stone, an' we went to a whole other planet - maybe through hyperspace - then he ate a purple stone there, an' then we came here. We didn't mean to tres-pass," Dack said, trying to pronounce the difficult words.

The man's eyes got big, but he didn't yell. He nodded, and said, "I am Taneleer Tivan - the Collector. From what you've told me, your - porg, if I am not mistaken - has eaten two of the Infinity Stones. They're VERY powerful relics, giving whoever holds them total control over space, power, reality, souls, time, and minds. Collecting even one of them is dangerous; more than one - well, now that's a feat few can claim. Your feathered friend is - NO!!!"

Dack spun around, groaning when Squawky glowed blue again and walked through the glass, then pecked the black box apart. A red stone was inside it, and Squawky ate that one, too.

Then, it started raining fish, and the Collector ran, hollering, while Squawky ate fish from the air and chirped happily!

"SQUAWKY! Really, you can't just eat stuff! It's not right, OK?" Dack asked; at least the fish stopped, and Squawky landed.

"Squawk," the porg said, sounding sorry, and Dack nodded; maybe if they paid for the red stone, it'd be OK.

"Mr. Collector? I've got some old coins, from the Rakata. You can have'em for the stone, OK?" Dack asked, setting the coins beside one of the boxes. (They were a gift from Uncle Han, but Momma didn't like Rakatan stuff, so Dack though it'd be OK.)

"All right! All RIGHT! Just - just get that GHASTLY PORG OUT of my collection! PLEASE!" the Collector yelled.

Dack felt bad, but held onto Squawky - they were going again.

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This time, they were in a dark, scary place, with rocks and clouds.

"Squawk ..." Squawky said, shivering, and Dack held onto him; this place was scary - but he was a Skywalker. He had to be brave.

"And just how did you two come to be here?" a voice asked, and Dack looked up, trying not to be scared at who floated there.

It was a man in a hooded black cape, but with a red face and no nose, and he felt - lonely, more'n anything else.

"Uhm - hello, sir. Squawky an' I've been collecting Infinity Stones. We're tryin' to keep a bad man from getting them," Dack explained, and the man nodded, laughing a little.

"Ah, mein freunden - you have come to the right place. But I doubt you can give up what the Soul Stone demands," the man said, floating up a stairway toward two BIG rocks, and a funny circle looking out over the ocean.

The man looked back at Dack, real serious now, and said, "The Soul Stone demands a soul ... for a soul."

Oh, don't EVEN be trying to mess with my grandson's head, Schmidt. I might not've fought you, but I know your treachery.

Dack looked at the edge of the cliff, his eyes getting wide as he saw a man glowing blue - and he asked, "Grandpa Anakin?"

The man just smiled and tip-saluted Dack, then frowned at the red-faced man and thought through the Force, I got this, Dack.

"Vas - NEIN!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS, SKYWALKER!?" the man yelled, as Grandpa stepped off the cliff.

Dack felt awful - but then, he felt a rock in his hand, and opened it to see an orange stone there ... with Grandpa looking back.

"GAAH! Verdammt 'Chosen One' - dead people shouldn't be able to serve as a sacrifice! Take the cursed stone!" the man yelled.

Grandpa ... I hope you'll be OK, Dack thought, and Grandpa seemed to wink. Dack let Squawky eat the stone, and they left.

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The next place was a lot nicer - it looked like someone's house, and Dack bowed as a man with a funny red cape waved to them.

"Well, hello there, young man. And just how did you and your friend get past all my mystic wards?" the man asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but my friend - Squawky, he's a porg - he's eaten four of the Infinity Stones, and there must be another one here," Dack said, looking at Squawky and worrying. Four of the stones were a lot, and sometimes Squawky glowed a little.

Still, he seemed OK, and hopped from foot to foot, looking at the man with the cape, who looked scared all of a sudden.

"FOUR INFINITY STONES!? No wonder - look, kid, you and that bird HAVE to cooperate, OK? The Stones aren't -" the man said.

He looked over his shoulder as a bald man came out of a side door and asked, "Stephen? Who's this?"

"I'm Dack Skywalker, sir, an' this is Squawky. He's a porg," Dack introduced, and the bald man nodded back, smiling a little.

He looked at Mr. Stephen, who looked at Dack with big eyes and asked, "Skywalker? But that's - those are movies -!"

"Lady Betsy said people on Earth think my family's story is all made-up - is this Earth, please?!" Dack asked, hoping - maybe he could find Daddy, and take him to Rey and everybody else!

Mr. Stephen just nodded, kind of surprised still, until Squawky looked at the funny necklace Mr. Stephen wore - and it opened.

"STEPHEN!? The Eye of Agamotto - it never opens by itself, unless - !" the bald man yelled, while a green stone floated out.

Mr. Stephen held up his hand to the bald man, and the green stone floated to Squawky, who ate it, and glowed a little more.

"Dack ... I'm going to trust you with the Stones, just for right now, until your find your dad, OK?" Mr. Stephen said.

"Thanks! We'll be careful, Mr. Stephen - thanks 'gain!" Dack said, taking Squawky's wing.

They started to vanish, but Dack thought he heard Mr. Stephen say, "Wong, call the X-Men RIGHT NOW! We have to tell them -"

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Didn't Lady Betsy say the X-Men were her friends, and Momma's relatives live with them? Dack wondered, looking around.

He and Squawky were on a big lawn, with lots of grass, and all kinds of different people around, looking surprised.

"Squawky, I think we gotta - uh-oh," Dack said, turning around when Loki appeared - kind of scorched, and REALLY angry.

"- wretched Phoenix Host, and Braddock, and LEIA ORGANA - all resistant to the Stone's power - THERE YOU ARE!" Loki yelled.

"You better not've hurt my mommy or Aunt Leia or Lady Betsy, Loki! You're A BAD MAN!" Dack yelled, and Squawky did, too.

Loki gritted his teeth, and aimed his spear at Dack, but it fell apart when Squawky flashed red - and a yellow stone fell out!

"No - no no NO NO - !" Loki yelled, but Squawky flew SUPER-fast again, and ate the yellow stone - and he glowed like a rainbow!

"SQUAWK!!!" Squawky - well, squawked, and Loki went flying back, while Dack tried not to laugh - he didn't want to hurt Loki.

"Squawky, we better find my Daddy, please? He'll know how to help you," Dack asked, and Squawky nodded.

They looked up as the air opened again, and an even BIGGER man, with purple skin and blue and gold armor, walked out.

Loki stammered a little, but the man just frowned at him and said, "You are pathetic, Laufeyson. Beaten by a child and a bird."

"Thanos - you don't understand - the porg! IT'S EATEN ALL OF THE STONES! You HAVE to flee, before Skywalker gets -" Loki cried.

Dack looked at Squawky, who looked kind of sick, and he said, "I'm sorry, Squawky! I didn't want you to get hurt."

Thanos looked at them, scared TOO, now, but Dack held Squawky's wing and wished, really hard, Please take me to my daddy.

He and Squawky vanished, and Dack trusted in the Force to help.

Well, and Squawky, too. Having a kind-of-magic porg for a friend was really astral, and Daddy'd help make Squawky better.

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The Infinity Porg returns!

 

Read this one on a public bus today, when I had an appointment in town. Laughed out loud several times, but in Berlin nobody looks at mad people or wonders about them.

I did not answer before, because I went straight to bed when I came home, being worn out from that appointment. Still not 100% better.

But very much smiley due to your porg story. Thank you!

 

Thanks, everyone. There may - at some point - be a conclusion to this (trilogies and SW go together, it seems), but we'll see.

 

That was LOADS, LOADS of fun! Dack is a darling & Squawky is a very interesting! repository for the Infinity Stones