Beyond - Legends Counting Stars (Post-FOTJ, K/J) Completed 8/19/16

It's my headcanon that Kyp really liked the red dress.

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--Adoration--

Jaina feels pretty in the borrowed dress and jewels, her hair done elaborately and her feet in shoes that kill her feet. But the look on Kyp's face when he sees her is worth every bit of it.

It hits her, as he offers his arm, that she's going to marry him. They're friends and lovers, but someday, he's going to be her husband. It brings a smile to her face.

When her marriage to Jag collapsed, she thought that maybe Luke had been right, that she'd be alone and lonely forever. But she'd been wrong. She has Kyp, and Force willing, she will always have him.

They enter the ballroom as part of the Queen Mother’s entourage. Her old friend Zekk is there, too, with his wife, Taryn. She's glad to see him happy. He'd been hung up on her for far too long.

She glances over as Taryn sidles up. “Hi.”

“I see you have a new bauble,” the queen’s cousin says.

Jaina grins, holding up the ring for inspection. “Kyp gave it to me earlier.”

Zekk frowns a little, but in bemusement rather than anger. “I'm still boggled at you two.”

“Why?” Taryn asks. “It's clear they adore each other.”

“It's a long story,” Jaina says before Zekk can comment. She studies the younger woman. Taryn's cheeks are practically glowing. “Do you two have any news, by chance?”

Taryn grins. “I'm sure you know. You're a Jedi.”

“And you're practically luminous,” Jaina says. She beams at her old friend. “How far are you?”

“Three months,” Zekk tells her, and looks at his wife with such love, Jaina feels mushy for a moment.

She looks for Kyp, his Force presence off to her left, somewhere near the refreshments. “Excuse me, I'm going to go track down my fiancé.”

He's just finished loading a plate with tiny, fussy finger foods when she locates him. She plucks a little pastry off the plate and pops it into her mouth.

“Oh, these are good,” she says after she swallows. “Hey, you remember those nasty things they served at the reception after the knighting ceremony Cal Omas made us have?”

Kyp grimaces. “Those were nearly the worst things I've ever eaten.”

“What could possibly be worse?” she asks, but he doesn't answer. His face has gone slack with surprise, looking at something behind her.

She turns as a tall blonde woman, probably five or ten years older than her, comes through the crowd, her stunning face alight with a brilliant smile. She's curvy in a way Jaina probably will never be, with deep blue eyes. She's trailed by a handsome man with brown hair, his temples touched with silver, his eyes a pale blue.

“Kyp!” the woman exclaims. Her accent is Hapan, which explains both presence and beauty. “Fancy seeing you here! How are you?”

Jaina suddenly finds herself holding the plate, as Kyp says, “Thelia, this is a surprise.”

She blinks at the taller woman, who is, even now, bussing a kiss to Kyp's cheek. This is Thelia Brandt, the woman Kyp might have married? She's suddenly got a cold lump in her stomach. Jaina isn't given to insecurity, but Thelia is gorgeous. And definitely the type to own a yellow speeder. Her dress is practically poured on, the frothy material clinging in all the right places, the layers shaded from nearly white to a deep red-orange, with tones of yellow in between. She looks like a pillar of fire.

Jaina looks down at her dark blue dress, the only fancy part of it being the velvet material and the gathering on the bodice. She's short, her dress is plain, and she feels suddenly like maybe she should have worn the red dress, even if it was out of style.

Thelia reaches for her companion, pulling him forward. “This is Jaster Tenaj, my husband,” she says. “Our son is with the nanny droid tonight. Jaster’s company is invested in the Hapan shipyard, with my father, so we came for an inspection.”

“Nice to meet you,” Tenaj says, offering a polite smile. It isn't warm. He clearly knows who Kyp is to Thelia and is about as thrilled as Jaina.

Kyp's arm slides around Jaina, and he curves his hand around her elbow, fingers tracing little circles over her arm. His touch is reassuring, as is the love he projects through their Force bond. Jaina forces herself to relax, but she's baffled. He chose her over this woman?!

“Thee,” he says, “this is Jedi Master Jaina Solo. Jaina is my fiancée. Jay, this is Thelia Brandt, an old friend.”

“Oh, that's wonderful news! I'm so happy for you!” Thelia offers her hand with a big smile. Jaina is surprised, when she takes it, that the other woman's sincere.

Jaster murmurs something to his wife, and moves off into the crush of people. Thelia glances after him, then turns back to Jaina.

“Really, I'm glad to hear you two are together,” she continues. “Kyp's always been crazy about you. It drove me barvy, but it sounds like things have worked out for the best all around. When are you getting married?”

Kyp replied, “We haven't set a date yet. We just got engaged a few days ago.”

“Well, congratulations! Be sure to send me an invitation! I’ll get out of your hair now. Kyp, it was good to see you. If you'll be on-planet for a bit, you should stop by, both of you. We've got rooms at the Den'tarak Lodge. I'd love for you to meet Miko.”

Then she's gone, and Jaina feels like she's just emerged from a really hairy dogfight.

“Uh. Wow.”

“She takes getting used to,” Kyp says.

“So let me get this straight. You could have married her, and you broke up with her for me.”

Kyp takes the plate of foodstuffs and sets it on the table. Then he takes her hands and pulls her close. His green eyes are full of nothing but adoration. “Like she said, I'm crazy about you. I dated her because she wasn't you.”

“She's pretty. Am I not pretty?”

He smiles. “She's pretty,” he concedes. “But Goddess, do you know just how beautiful you are to me? You don't need a bunch of jewels or a fancy dress. You're already the most gorgeous woman in this room.”

Her answering smile is wry. “I'm hardly that. There you go again, piling the flattery on. I'm already marrying you, you know.”

“I'm not flattering you, and you know it. Ta’a Chume wanted you to be Queen Mother, remember? Regardless of her other motivations, you're beautiful enough to rule the most narcissistic society in the galaxy.”

Jaina laughs then. “Okay, okay. I just feel weird knowing I was competition for her.”

“Please. You could wipe the floor with her with one arm tied behind your back.”

They finish off the plate of foodstuffs, and then he draws her out to the dance floor. Jaina's never really liked balls, but spending time with Kyp like this, when so much of their lives have been horrific, is wonderful. It's nice to laugh and joke and dance with him, even if he isn't the most skilled in that area.

The best is slow dancing to a ballad, her head resting against Kyp's chest. She could stay like this forever, she thinks, just the two of them. If only the rest of their lives could be as peaceful as this moment. It's just wishful thinking, she knows, but she doesn't want to surrender a second of this.

"Let's get out of here," he says softly.

She looks up, into his eyes full of love and wanting, and says, "Okay."

 

*purrs!!!!!!!!!!* And melts! Always. Loved the Zekk/Taryn encounter but really loved the whole situation with Thelia. She's gorgeous and probably very loving and genuine. But even she knew that when she was with Kyp his heart belonged to someone else. The warmth and the tenderness between K/J - superlicious!

 

His feelings for Jaina were the main cause of their breakup. Thelia knew he wasn't in love with her.

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--Moonlight--

After the ball, back in their borrowed quarters, Jaina changes into the red dress that Tenel Ka has kept for her, somehow, all these years. It doesn't fit quite the same way it did when she was nineteen. She's not as slender and, frankly, malnourished as she was then. The corseted bodice emphasizes this point really well, and Jaina's glad she didn't wear the dress to the gathering. That isn't the kind of attention she wants from anyone except Kyp.

Their room has an exterior door to a courtyard garden, and Kyp waits there for her. Leaving her hair down and her feet bare, Jaina pushes the doors open and steps out into the moonlight. Hapes has two moons, and both are full and high in the sky above them.

He's changed into his robes, Jaina notes with amusement, as she crosses to him over the cool stone tiles of the walkway. He in his robes, her in the dress, just like that night.

He turns, watching her approach. Though the garden is lit with tall torches and the moonlight, his face is shadowed. Only the thrum of heat through their bond tells her he likes what he sees, until she gets close enough to look up into his face.

"Still fits," she says, then adds, "Sort of. I don't remember the neckline being this low last time."

Kyp grins and holds out his hand. "I do, but I had a different vantage point."

Jaina laughs and places her hand in his. "Yeah, I'll bet you did."

He pulls her close. "I've fantasized about this dress for almost twenty years. You're even more beautiful in it now than you were then."

"You think so?"

Kyp tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear and cups her face in one hand. "Goddess," he says roughly, "I told you, I don't give you unnecessary flattery. It's the truth. You're the most beautiful woman in the galaxy to me, and I've loved you helplessly since you were nineteen. The first time I saw you in this dress . . . Force help me, I wanted to kiss you."

"You should have," she says softly. "Maybe if you had . . . Everything would have been different."

"You didn't want me then," he reminds her softly.

She shakes her head. "Not exactly true. I did, and I was scared. I ran from it. On Borleias, when we had that kriffed up picnic? When I said that we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, that that wasn't quite right to describe us . . . I'd thought about it. About us. But I was so young, Kyp. You were a man, and I was barely older than a girl. You wanted me, and I couldn't deal with it."

He smiles wryly. "When I realised you were with Jag, I thought I could wait it out, be there for you when it fell apart. Then I tried to tell myself I wasn't in love with you. I tried to convince myself for so long. I had no idea that what I told myself that day on Borleias would come true, that I'd pick up the pieces when you needed me to."

"I did need you," she whispers. "I've always needed you, even when I told myself I didn't. I walked away from you and into a really messed up marriage. I let Jag control me too much. I wasn't . . . me with him. I feel like I lost myself after the war, and I've only now really found myself again. With you."

Kyp slides his arm around her waist, tugging her against him. "If I'd kissed you that night, in the hallway . . ."

"Yeah?"

"Would you have hit me, or kissed me back?"

Jaina thinks for a long moment. "Pretty even odds on that. I don't know. But . . ."

"But what?"

"If you kiss me now . . ."

He lowers his head, covering her mouth with his. Jaina raises on her toes to return the kiss.

She squeaks in surprise when he bends to sweep her up in his arms, the crimson shimmersilk of her skirts a voluminous pouf nearly in his face. Jaina smooths them down as he carries her back into their room. She waves her hand at the doors to push them shut, and then she's entirely too distracted to worry about anything for a while.

 

Exquisite setting, and candid conversation.

This resonated:

"I did need you," she whispers. "I've always needed you, even when I told myself I didn't. Could be said of Han and Leia and Luke & Mara too. Lot of denial in the SW -'verse - which makes moments of truth even more sweet.

 

I'm convinced no one there knows what's good for them!

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Two updates today, to make up for the lack recently.


--Fly--

As an engagement present, Tenel Ka gifts them a ship. Its main body is ovoid, with sharp wings that jut down and to the fore, each bearing turbo lasers. The ship is heavily armed, with three sleep cabins--a "master" cabin and two crew cabins--and though it's designed for a pilot and co-pilot, it can be operated by just one. It's not as large as the Jade Shadow, not quite, but it still has plenty of cargo room.

Jaina runs her fingers along the hull, which is a surprising rose gold hue with silver accents, a look of absolute delight on her face. "This is amazing," she says. "Thank you so much, Tenel Ka!"

The Queen Mother smiles. "I had it commissioned when you told me that you had parted ways with Jag," she tells them. "I had an idea that you might need a ship of your own soon."

Kyp grins. "You've certainly made her day," he tells the queen.

Tenel Ka nods. "The ship needs a name, it does not bear one yet."

"We'll think of something," he says. Jaina is clearly itching to take the ship for a spin, and it amuses him.

"I am replacing Allana's tutor. And I am assigning a guard. If you would like, they can fly the ship you arrived in back to Shedu Maad, and you and Jaina can take this ship together."

His smile turns wry. "You know us well."

The queen's grey eyes shift to where Jaina examines the ship's engines from the outside. She's far enough away now to not readily hear their conversation. "You have brought my friend, my sister, back from the brink of darkness. I was leery of you before, of your reputation, but you have been nothing but good for my friend. For that, I will be eternally grateful."

He's uncomfortable with the praise and doesn't know how to respond. Tenel Ka seems to know that, and she just smiles.

With Allana on board, Jaina is all nervous, excited energy as she gets to fire up the engines on their ship. Kyp loves watching her as she runs through the startup sequence, cooing over the ship's systems. Seeing her this happy pleases him.

"What are we going to name our ship?" he asks.

Jaina tips her head, thinking. "Something 'us'," she says. Then she smiles. "Rogue's Goddess."

Kyp laughs. "I like it. Lots of meanings."

"Exactly."

"Fire her up, let's give her a run."

She shoots him a look, grins. "Yes, Master."

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--Heart--

Back on Shedu Maad, with the tutor problems sorted out, Allana is much happier. She visits Jaina one afternoon in her office, and they curl up on the sofa with mugs of hot chocolate to ward off the chill of the rain outside.

After she finishes her chocolate, Allana sets it aside carefully and then snuggles closer to Jaina. “When you and Uncle Kyp have your baby, you should name her after Ben’s mom.”

Jaina smiled and ruffles her niece’s hair. “Kyp and I aren't having a baby, not yet.”

The girl draws back, grey eyes skeptical. “Yes, you are. Can't you feel her?”

Freezing outwardly, Jaina frantically reaches out in the Force, scanning herself. Her heart leaps when she finds the tiny flutter of life nestled there, in her womb, so new it has no awareness of anything yet. It wasn't there days ago. How long as it been there? Does Kyp know yet? Only one way to find out.

“How-” Jaina begins, and stops. “Um. I need to go talk to Kyp. Don't tell anybody else, okay? Big secret.”

Allana mimes zipping her lips shut. She hops off the sofa and goes off with Anji to do something else. Jaina sits there for several moments, suddenly dizzy.

Then she’s on her feet and out the door, robes flying as she dashes down the corridor, reaching out for Kyp. She finds him talking with Kam Solusar and Corran Horn, not far from his office.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she says breathlessly. “I need to steal Master Durron for a minute.”

Without waiting for a reply, she grabs his hand and literally pulls him from the room.

“Jay?” Kyp asks with a laugh. “What's the rush?”

Jaina drags him into his office and locks the door. Pulling him over to the desk, she hops up to even the height difference a little. Then she catches his other hand and presses both of them to her lower belly.

“What?”

“Feel!” she says urgently.

Kyp extends his senses through the Force. She can feel his energy brushing through her. The moment he finds it, the microscopic heartbeat deep inside her, she knows, because he jolts with surprise.

His green eyes huge, he looks up from where their hands layer together, to her face. Jaina bites her lip.

“You're-” Kyp stops, dumbfounded.

“I'm pregnant,” she says.

His handsome face splits in a huge grin. “Pregnant,” he repeats.

Jaina nods, and she's suddenly grinning, too. And then she's crying. Kyp hugs her tightly, kissing the top of her head.

“You'd better make an honest woman out of me,” she laughs through her tears, “or Dad is gonna kill you.”

Kyp laughs, too, but distractedly. He's already reaching again for the tiny life she's carrying, and for her, marvelling at the feel of its heart.

“Our baby,” he whispers.

He slides his fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he leans in to kiss her. Jaina loops her arms around his neck and kisses him back, her heart soaring. She only has joy for the new life inside her, no apprehension at all. They've faced certain death and the Dark Side. They can do this together.

Kyp breaks the kiss, presses his forehead to hers. “We're already engaged, so I guess it's just a matter of when.”

“Soon. I don't want a big wedding.” She tips her head up, brown eyes searching his face. “Unless you want one?”

He shakes his head. “Not my style.”

“Okay. Just you and me, then. Maybe Mom and Dad- No, you know what? Let's elope. Let's run away somewhere and just spend a couple weeks lying on a beach, you and me.”

He grins. “I'm in.”

“You'd better be,” she murmurs, then adds, “Daddy.”

Kyp's grin is bright enough to light the inside of a black hole.

 

Fly -- gorgeous ship. TK really knows Jaina well & what she tells Kyp - heart-felt and true. But oh my, Heart. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Unabashedly. I love we're-having-a-baby moments. They're just about among the sweetest!!!

 

There's no way Jaina would be able to keep that from Kyp. And she wouldn't want to try. She wants to share her excitement. Plus, she's not the type to keep it secret and then do a big reveal. Neither of them are big on surprises.

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--Elope--

They don't hide that they're going away for a few weeks. Jaina tells her uncle that she and Kyp are going to Naboo to research her grandmother, Padmé Amidala, and Sheev Palpatine, the man who became the first Emperor. Research is a good excuse; they're fighting the Sith, and looking into the history of one of the most powerful would be helpful.

Not that either has much intention to do said research.

Naboo isn't far from Tatooine, out on the edges of the Galactic Alliance. The Jedi have a general position of neutrality on GA politics since they withdrew to Shedu Maad. Jaina hopes they won't draw much attention here. Just in case, they leave their robes on the Rogue's Goddess, their lightsabers hidden in their luggage.

Jaina's brought a dress she bought for some state function she never got to wear. Jag never even saw it, so she feels fine wearing it for this.

They rent a small villa outside Theed, on the shore of a beautiful lake. It's spring here, and while it isn't exactly a beach, it's warm and sunny and secluded. There are two bedrooms, one with a huge fireplace and an equally massive bed, and Jaina claims it as theirs.

As she drops her luggage by the bed, Kyp asks, “So, business or pleasure first?”

She turns, seeing him framed in the doorway, and smiles. “Let's do what we really came here to do.”

“I agree.”

Kyp closes the distance between them. He wraps an arm around her waist, reaching through the Force to check on their child.

“Seems to be healthy,” he says. “Though I wish you'd consulted Cilghal before we left.”

“I will when we get back. I want this between us for now.”

“Okay.”

Jaina changes into the dress she bought. It's a pale blue-green that drapes from her shoulders in the back and falls in a layered column to the floor. Abstract twists of embroidery and jewels circle the high waist and adorn the straps across her shoulders. She styles her hair simply, in a braid down her back, with a strand of gems across her forehead.

She sits at the mirror in the bedroom, staring at her reflection. Her pregnancy has already softened the lines of her face a little, bringing back some of the lingering baby fat she'd had as a teenager. Until that moment, she's been unaware of just how much constant war has changed her, hardened her.

Kyp's gone to hire an officiant, and she's alone at the villa. It gives her time to sort through the jumble of confused feelings that suddenly pop up. She has no hesitation at marrying Kyp. But the enormity of it still gets to her.

She'd thought Jag was The One. She's spent most of her life in love with him, to varying degrees, and though they were technically only "together" for a handful of years, the impact he's had can't be ignored. From their first kiss to their last, seventeen years passed. The death of her first marriage is still a scar that's a little tender. She'd wanted to have a family with Jag, and the realisation that they couldn't continue had hit her hard. Part of her has felt like a failure for not being able to make it work.

The contrast of the ease with which everything has happened with Kyp is not lost on her. It's part of what scared her so much the first time: loving Kyp Durron is easy. They fit like puzzle pieces, two halves of a whole, a picture incomplete without each other. Jag was her opposite, and she'd thought that would work; her parents had made it work, hadn't they? But Kyp... He's so much like her. Once the anger and fear after Anakin's death cleared, that boost out of the dark due in large part to the man himself, finding herself in sync with Kyp had been frighteningly easy.

She twists her engagement ring around her finger. On Borleias, when she'd realised that Kyp was not oblivious to her relationship with Jag, that she'd stung him and he was retreating from her, had sent her into a panic. She'd gone to Jag, intending... She wasn't sure what she'd been intending, really. To tell him she'd made a mistake? To ask him to tell her she'd made the right decision? Jaina can't remember now, isn't sure she's ever known exactly what she was thinking. She'd confessed to him that Kyp had feelings for her, that Kyp knew about them and she'd hurt him, and that he was preparing to run.

Jag had been pragmatic, she'd thought, saying they'd talk to him together, convince him to stay. She sees now that it was an excuse for him to mark her as his in front of the older man, manipulate Kyp into staying, make him feel guilty for his feelings, make him think he was being selfish for being hurt and uncertain. Jag was, if nothing else, a master manipulator. She can't look back on it without remembering the feeling of Kyp's hurt and confusion, though she hadn't been able to see his face in the near-total darkness.

Jag hadn't wanted her to talk to Kyp on her own. When she'd posed the idea, when Kyp had expressed it, Jag had shot it down. He'd been afraid she'd change her mind, she knew that even then, and he'd been right. If she had allowed Kyp that then...

Jaina shakes her head. Jag was right; she should have chosen Kyp from the beginning. She smiles wryly, placing the palm of her hand over her stomach. They're certainly making up for lost time, she thinks.

She hopes Jag can forgive her someday, that he can find someone who loves him and is better for him than she was.

There's a knock on the bedroom door. Kyp's returned from the city. She takes a breath to calm the flutter in her stomach. when she opens the door, she sees Kyp is dressed simply in a stylish tunic and black trousers, so handsome with his silver-streaked black hair arranged in dignified curls rather than the bedhead tangle she's used to. When he sees her, his eyes go wide.

“I think you're even more beautiful in that than your other dress,” he tells her.

Jaina twirls so he can see the whole thing. “You've already seen me in white. I thought I'd go a little less traditional this time.”

The man meets them outside on the broad patio overlooking the lake. He's brought an assistant to witness. Jaina can imagine no better setting, with just them and the beautiful spring lakeside, the flowers planted between the rail and the water's edge in full, glorious bloom.

The ceremony is short but sweet. The officiant pronounces them husband and wife, and they sign a piece of flimsi.

After the officiant and his assistant leave, Kyp pulls a small box out of his pocket. “This wasn't part of the ceremony. I hope you like this.”

Inside is a silver ring, curved a little so it will sit better against her engagement ring. The thin line of gems across the top is a deep purple, like their lightsabers.

Jaina snorts a laugh. “It's perfect. But I don't have one for you. I haven't had the chance.”

He plucks the ring from the box and slides it on her finger. It nestles perfectly against the Gallinore gem he gave her just days before.

“We’ll get one for me,” he says. “If you want, we can do that right now.”

Jaina admires the ring for a moment, before she flattens her hands on his chest. “Later. Right now, I want to kiss my husband.”

He smiles, lowering his head. “Your wish is my command,” he whispers. “Mrs. Durron.”

 

Now I'm a big sloppy goo puddle! Superlicious and great insights into the past, present, and future.

 

Weirdly, I kinda struggled with the wedding one. Normally those are a breeze for me.

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--Darkness--

Jaina did well choosing Kyp's wedding band, he thinks. It's rectangular stones set in a dark metal, stones that seem dark grey until the light hits them. Then they glow with brilliant blues and greens and yellows in flashes, reminding him of lightsabers in the pitch of night.

It's a reminder to himself that even when things seem their blackest, there's light to be found. It's a good metaphor for himself.

The library at Theed University is reluctant to give them any materials on Palpatine, made reticent because of his origins on Naboo. When the librarian learns they're Jedi, though, he relents and gives them access to the restricted archive.

So here they sit, going through bound books of flimsi and parchment as well as datapads as loaded with files from the central computer. Kyp doesn't think he's seen so many actual books in his life.

“This is so archaic,” he mutters, as he carefully turns a page. “Look how fragile this is.”

Next to him, Jaina looks up from her datapad. “Yeah. What if it gets wet?

“I think it has,” her husband says. “These pages are stuck together.”

Kyp gives up on trying to pry them apart. He shuts the book and leans back in his chair. “How are you doing with copying those files?”

“Almost done. Can you get scans of any of that?”

“Already done, except for this one I can't open. I'm afraid I'll destroy it.” He flexes stiff and sore fingers, rubs the scar that runs across the back of his left hand. He's had it a good fifteen years; he got it the same day Luke was severely injured by a Yuuzhan Vong amphistaff. Bacta hadn't done much against the Vong poison and subsequent infection, but he hadn't lost his hand.

Jaina reaches over, lays her hand over his. “I don't get it,” she says. “This Palpatine was one of the worst people in the galaxy, and yet, people loved him. They practically worshipped the guy ‘til he announced he was a Sith Lord. How does someone hide that much darkness for so long without it leaking out?”

He turns his hand under hers, laces their fingers together. “I have no idea. All the Sith I've ever met, it just tainted everything around them, like a spreading oil stain. Even Ben’s girlfriend.”

“Abeloth,” Jaina says, and they both shudder.

“I don't know how Palpatine hid it so well,” Kyp continues. “But it still outed in the end. It always does. I want to find who his master was, how he fell. They may have been following the rule of two, but they had to start somewhere. Trace back far enough, we may be able to find Kesh, or that Mortis Monolith, or this Darth Krayt guy.”

She nods distractedly and goes back to the stack of materials in front of her. So does he.

After a while, he glances over at Jaina, engrossed in her reading. A lock of hair has slipped free from her ponytail, falling across her forehead, and he reaches over to tuck it behind her ear. She looks up and smiles, and his breath catches. Kyp still remembers the first time he looked at her and saw her as a woman, the gut-clenching realisation that he wanted her. He still can't believe she's his wife now.

Not just his wife. The mother of his child. It's become habit the last few days to touch the tiny life through the Force, to marvel in the little thrum of its heartbeat like the wings of a tiny bird he saw on Yavin once. They're having a baby. Everything's changing so quickly, and he's never been more terrified or excited in his life. Fifty-one years old, and he feels like he did the day he set foot on Coruscant for the first time. He's had no idea where life was going to take him, but the possibilities had been endless.

“You think it's a boy or a girl?” he asks.

“Too soon to tell,” she says. “I don't mind either way.”

“Same here.”

Kyp leans over, places his hand low on her belly. They're alone in the archive, no one near to see him do it. Jaina rests her hand on top of his, briefly going back to her skimming of the text before she gives up.

Her stomach rumbles audibly. “Well, I think we're finished for today. I'm tired and the baby wants food.”

He pulls her into his lap before she can fully stand. “You're my light,” he tells her. “Against the darkness.”

Jaina runs her fingers through his hair. “And you're mine.”

Kyp kisses her tenderly.

Her stomach growls again, and she laughs.

“Okay, I really need something to eat. Let's go. I want food, some time in a deck chair, and to have my way with you at least twice. Not necessarily in that order.”

“I think I can swing those things.”

“Oh, you'd better.”

 

Wonderful reflective conversation and happy musings - that too was always a puzzle, how a Sith could dupe so many in plain sight that way.

 

Maybe everyone dismissed it because he was a politician. We all know they're evil anyway.

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--Silence--

The shudder of the ship’s reversion to real space wakes Jaina. She rises from the bed and leaves the cabin, making her way down the short corridor to the flight deck, where Kyp sits at the controls. Outside the viewport stretches a brilliant nebula, the gases bright and richly coloured. The ship’s sensors chime a warning that the area is highly radioactive, the gases “hot”.

Her husband sits staring at it, in silence, face stony.

“This isn't Shedu Maad,” she says. “It's pretty, though. I don't think I've ever seen this particular nebula. Where are we?”

“Just off the Perlemian Route,” he replies after a moment. “It was the fastest hyperspace lane back. We need to refuel at the waystation ahead, but you'll need to handle it.”

“Why? You do something to tick off the locals?”

He looks down at the controls, a muscle in his jaw jumping. “You could say that. This is the Carida Nebula.”

Jaina sits in the co-pilot’s seat with a thump, throat suddenly tight. “Oh.”

Kyp guides the ship around the edge of the nebula with deft hands, his Force presence drawn in and his whole manner quiet. Jaina has never seen him like this, that she could recall.

She can't say she’s surprised, though.

When they're hailed by the station, Jaina identifies herself, making no mention of him. She arranges for the fuel and then closes the channel.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asks softly.

“Not at the moment.”

“Okay.”

When they dock, Kyp hands her the controls and retreats to their cabin. Jaina has to go out to the station itself to handle payment. She leaves Kyp brooding on the ship, wishing she could help and knowing there's absolutely nothing she can do.

“We don't get Jedi out here much,” the station master tells her, after hooking the hose up to the transport. He's an ugly little Ugnaught, shorter than her with a squished face and a surly attitude. He's the only one she's ever met to speak Basic, and that's done through a voice modulator embedded in his chest. “Guess you lot don't like being reminded of your failures, huh?”

Jaina eyes him. “Does anyone?”

“I guess that's true. Say, aren't you the Jaina Solo who was married to the Empire’s new head honcho?”

“I was,” she admits. “I didn't like his politics.”

“Guess that's one thing we can thank Durron for,” the Ugnaught says after a moment. “Took out a big chunk of the Remnant’s forces when he blew up this system, cleared the way for the Republic to get control of this whole sector. Still think the Huttslime got off too easy, though. Twenty-five million dead, and he's a free man.”

Not as free as everyone thinks, she muses to herself.

“Yeah, well, the woman who ordered the construction of the weapon that did it got to be Chief of State, so, you know, unfairness everywhere.” Jaina hands over the credits for the fuel. It takes everything she has not to push his nose the rest of the way into his skull... with her fist.

She confines herself to using a trick Kyp taught her years ago, modifying the horrid Ugnaught’s memory--even if official records might show otherwise--to remove her visit and replace it with a vague recollection of being visited by “Zeth and Jan Fost”. An abuse of power? Definitely. Does she care? Not as much as she probably should. She's irritated and pregnant, and it saves his annoying little life.

When the refuelling’s done, Jaina boards the ship and starts it up. She realises that her hands are shaking and flexes them, trying to let go of her anger. The Ugnaught doesn't know Kyp, hadn't seen the look on her husband's face earlier, hasn't held him in the night when he wakes from nightmares about being possessed, about killing his family.

Too many share the Ugnaught's view. The "I was possessed" defense, if they're even aware, doesn't hold much water for a lot of the galaxy's citizens. You can't blame a ghost for something; you can convict the breathing. Kyp doesn't deserve to be called a monster. Not the sweet, funny, sharply intelligent man she's married.

When they're away from the station, Kyp returns. He takes the co-pilot seat without a word.

“You come out here often?” she asks, trying to keep her tone light.

He stares out the viewport. “I try to visit once a year. I try to make the anniversary. Mostly for Zeth, but also… for the others.”

She turns to look at him, searching his face. He’s still drawn in on himself, but what manages to escape makes her heart ache for him. Guilt, sadness, loneliness.

“I did this,” he whispers. “I killed twenty-five million people, including my own brother. I can never make up for it, no matter how many I save.”

She slows the ship to a stop, essentially parking it at the edge of the nebula. It’s too dangerous to actually go inside it, the supernova too recent, the gases too volatile. In the timeline of the cosmos, it happened virtually yesterday. And for Kyp, it probably feels like it did, even if over three decades have passed.

Jaina moves from her seat and into his lap, wrapping her arms around him.

“I know you,” she tells him softly. “And you are a good person. You did a horrible thing while under the control of a very bad person. But you would never have chosen to do this on your own, Kyp. That's not who you are. I know you. And I know a thing or two about having someone else in your head, making you do things. You are not a bad person. I don't care what anyone else says. If they knew you like I do, they wouldn't think it, either.”

Kyp hugs her tightly, burying his face in her hair. “I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anything that I have. By rights, they should have executed me for it.”

She shakes her head, makes him look at her, palms gentle on his stubbled cheeks. “If they had, Kyp, I wouldn't be here. A lot of people wouldn't. Our baby wouldn't. I can only be grateful they granted you clemency. Even if I'd somehow survived without you, I don't know who I'd be.”

Jaina leans her forehead against his. “I'm sorry about Zeth.”

He heaves a sigh, but doesn't speak.

She turns in his arms and for several minutes, neither of them say anything, just looking out at the remains of Carida, lost in their own thoughts. At least, she thinks, it's pretty. Alderaan’s an asteroid belt now.

Finally, he says, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Coming with me. I know I didn't give you a choice, but…”

Jaina kisses him lovingly. “Thank you for bringing me.”

She runs her fingers through his hair. “Let's go home now.”

 

Breathtakingly realistic and poignant. A moment where you're glad you have someone who truly knows you and can give meaningful consolation.

 

Jaina briefly talked to Kyp about Carida when she was eighteen, but I don't think it was more than an abstract idea to her, even though she threw it in his face while they were arguing. But now, after her own slide to the Dark Side and having to kill Jacen, she understands better. And it matters more to her, because he's not just her father's old friend, a Jedi Master who defies her uncle. He's her husband and the father of her unborn child.

----------------------------------------------------

--Vow--

They tell no one on their return that they've married. Kyp wears their wedding bands on a chain around his neck, under his shirt. But during a family dinner, they tell her parents that Jaina is pregnant. Han is pleased beyond words. Leia is a little more reserved, Kyp being the baby's father tempering her joy a bit. Kyp doesn't mind, though. She'll get used to him, because he's not going anywhere.

"So when are you two getting married?" Han asks. He and Leia have known for weeks that they're engaged; the ring Kyp gave her would have been a pretty big clue, even if they hadn't already been told.

"As soon as I talk to Luke about it," Kyp says. He looks to Jaina and she beams, nodding, unable to speak because she's got food in her mouth.

"Good," is all Han says.

-----

Word quickly gets out that Jaina is pregnant, because hiding a life form from the Jedi is a little difficult, compounded with the sudden, severe bouts of morning sickness Jaina is afflicted with. When Master “Solo” misses a council meeting, Kyp approaches Luke to ask him a question. Jaina's uncle has some of his own.

“How is Jaina?”

“Miserable and somehow elated at the same time,” Kyp tells him. “Cilghal is working on a treatment for her nausea. She should be better soon.”

Luke’s blue eyes study him. “Han told me he's a little unhappy you're having a baby before getting married. He said he and Leia had enough of that with Jacen and Tenel Ka.”

The younger man snorts. “We're working on the marriage part. We're engaged, this just took us by surprise. Which is what I want to talk to you about. I know you're thinking about stepping down as Grand Master soon. Jaina and I would like you to marry us before you do.”

Luke smiles. “Kam is leaving the Council first. And I'm not leaving anytime soon. But I would be honoured. When were you thinking?”

“Soon. We don't want anything fancy. Jaina says she did that already. Something with just the Jedi, maybe next week?”

Nodding, the Grand Master smiles. “Tell Leia your plan. We'll keep her reined in this time.”

Kyp feels his eyelid twitch, and Luke bursts out laughing.

-----

True to Luke's word, Leia keeps things simple. The ceremony is held a week later, in the new Temple’s audience chamber. The only non-Jedi in attendance are Han, Zekk's wife Taryn, and Queen Mother Tenel Ka, who technically left the order shortly after Allana's birth.

Han doesn't walk Jaina down the aisle for this one. The bride and groom, dressed in matching sandy brown robes, walk together to meet Luke. He hands them each half of a larger crystal, which Jaina remembers vaguely from Luke’s own wedding nearly thirty years before. Has it really been that long? she wonders.

Kyp gazes at her with love in his eyes as they make their vows for a second time. No one else knows that they're already married. This is the important one, anyway, the one Jaina wanted but couldn't have because she'd been marrying Jag.

It hits her, as she holds the crystal, that this is the third time she's vowed "'til death do us part" with Kyp. The first was on Borleias, during that damned picnic. Funny how Jag had tried so hard to keep them apart, and here they are. She said it on Naboo, and she says it again now.

They join the crystal halves together. Then they exchange rings, properly this time, and Luke pronounces them united.

Kyp pulls her into his arms to kiss her, and Jaina feels as if she could fly.

Later, she changes into the blue wedding dress for the after party. As Leia is styling her hair, her mother says, “I've never seen this dress before.”

“I bought it while I was married to Jag. Just before we separated, actually.”

“And you're wearing it for Kyp?” Leia is skeptical.

“He's seen it. He likes it.”

Her mother finishes with her hair. “And when did he see this dress?”

Jaina chews on her lip for a moment, then says, “When we eloped on Naboo.”

She meets Leia's eyes in the mirror. Leia sighs, rolling her eyes, and says, “I owe your father twenty credits.”

“What?!”

“When you suddenly rushed off to Naboo, with that poodoo excuse about research, your father bet me twenty credits you'd come back married. I said you'd never do that to your mother.” Leia gave her a look, but then smiled.

“We wanted it to be just the two of us,” Jaina said. “A bigger thing later, but… When we learned about the baby, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

Her mother sits down beside her on the bench. "We're not angry, if you're wondering. I'm not really surprised you two chose to elope. A big ceremony like you had with Jag isn't really you or Kyp."

Jaina nods. "Kyp and I haven't really had much time to just... be me and him. So we took a few weeks off."

"You should go have a proper honeymoon now," Leia says. "I'm sure you enjoyed Naboo, but you combined business with it. Go do something with just the two of you that doesn't involve Jedi anything."

"That'll never happen," Jaina laughs. "There's not escaping that for us."

"Try."

"There is no try," she retorts with a grin.

Jaina twists her wedding ring around her finger. "Kyp says Dad was annoyed about the baby."

Leia shakes her head. "No. Not annoyed. Han's just protective. He had to know the two of you are intimate; you moved in together, after all. But with the baby, he had to confront the idea head-on. Fathers don't like that."

"I was married to Jag."

Her mother's smile is wry. "You should have seen his reaction, back when you were twenty and we vacationed with Jag, when you two were sharing a cabin. He was really not happy about that. Han just sometimes still sees you as a little girl. I'm not sure he's ready for you to have one of your own. Or boy."

"I'm going to be thirty-seven, Mom, in just a couple months."

"I know. It's also Kyp, you realise. I know I haven't been pleased with him in the past, but Han sees Kyp like a ... wayward younger brother. I think Han still sees Kyp as the kid he rescued from Kessel sometimes."

Jaina rubs a hand over her stomach. "Kyp pretends that it drives him nuts when Dad calls him 'kid', but he secretly loves it."

Leia reaches up, tucks a few strands that have come loose from Jaina's hair back in place. "I don't think I've actually said it, but I'm happy for you two. I didn't want you to marry Jag. I didn't like who you were with him. Kyp, on the other hand, brings out the best in you."

"Well," Jaina says slowly, "there have been a few times we've brought out the homicidal in each other, but..."

Leia arches a brow, and Jaina shakes her head. "Long story. Old stuff. Part of him bringing me back from the dark was dealing with my rages. He gave as good as he got. Let's just say there's never been a lack of passion between us, no matter the direction it goes, and leave it at that."

Her mother gives an unladylike snort. "Come on. I'm sure our husbands are waiting for us."

Jaina hugs her mother. "Thank you," she whispers. "I love you, Mom."

Leia returns the embrace. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

-----

When Jaina emerges finally, in her sea-coloured gown, Kyp can't help but stare. He's already seen her in it, but she still takes his breath away. She has since at least Hapes, when he saw her in the red dress. Before that, even. When she stepped down from her X-Wing, having tracked him to a nameless ball of ice in the Outer Rim, and took her helmet off, sweaty and rumpled from days in the cockpit, part of him fell for her then and there.

Han grins and elbows him. "That look on your face is why I've always rooted for you, ya know," he says. "She deserves to be looked at like that."

"I've always loved her," Kyp murmurs. "I just couldn't say it."

His father-in-law smirks. "Shoulda said it years ago," he says. "Water. Bridge. Go say it now."

Kyp smiles slowly, as Jaina comes closer. "I think I will," he agrees, and goes to his bride.

 

Yup, melted! Delightful and heart-touching mom/daughter talk and Han is just himself The inimitable one. LOL

Yes, it is a true gift and blessing to marry the one who will always "look at you like that." H/L and L/M did.

 

I have trouble writing Leia. Han, however, I don't.

--------------------------------------------

Sorry this update took so long to post. I was going to update Friday but had to help my 83yo grandparents move house, and time got away from me.


--Blankets--

Jaina wakes in the predawn, feeling warm and cozy in the cocoon of blankets, her back to Kyp's chest. He sleeps with his face pressed to her shoulder, his hand low on her belly as if protecting the child she carries.

She smiles, covering his hand with her own, absentmindedly toying with his wedding ring. She doesn't think she's ever felt as content as she does right then. She and the little life inside her, both safe in Kyp’s arms, their small family wrapped in blankets against the winter chill outside.

He wakes slowly, nuzzling her neck with a small disgruntled noise that makes her grin.

"Don't want to be awake, huh?" she asks in a laughing whisper.

"No. I was having a good dream. We were on a beach, you were in a bikini..."

Jaina snickers. "Not happening for a while, honey."

Kyp splays his hand over the small bump. It's too soon to feel the baby move, but they know now that Allana was correct and they're having a girl. How she knew is still a mystery.

“I don't want to name her after anyone,” Jaina murmurs. “At least not for a first name. I mean, how do we possibly choose?”

He absently, lightly drums his fingers on her belly, and Jaina grins at the answering flutter only she can feel. “I agree,” he says. “Something new. We'll think of something.”

His lips brush against the nape of her neck, and Jaina's breath catches. Kyp hears it, makes an amused sound, and shifts to kiss just under her ear.

"Kyp," she breathes.

"All the years wasted," he mumbles against her jaw. "All the times I could have kissed you and didn't. I'm not going to let another get away from me."

Jaina rolls over, catches his face in her hands. "Don't," she says fervently. "I won't, either. I love you so much, I can't stand it sometimes. I just feel like I'm going to burst."

Kyp threads his fingers in the tangle of her hair. "I know. Force, I know."

Then he kisses her, his mouth a slow but passionate pull on hers.

Much later, Jaina lies on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The blankets are now twisted around them. She could easily stay like this forever, she thinks. Kyp's hands are warm on her back, fingers stroking her spine.

"I've been thinking," she says.

"About what?"

"Carida."

His hand stills. "Why?"

"Because it's never mattered to me. I've always known about it, but... It's always been kind of abstract. I wasn't even three yet." She raises her head, folds her hands on his chest and props her chin on them so she can look at him. "I don't remember you before it. I've always known the you that's existed since. But when we were there... It became more real. And still, I don't care. I understand you so much better since Anakin's death, since my time in the Nest."

Kyp weaves his fingers into her hair. His dark green eyes are serious. "No one knows me like you do," he tells her softly. "I mean... I've told Luke and Han things, and they knew me in the days after, but I've never taken them to Carida."

"I should never have taken you for granted like I did. When I was nineteen, I was so sure I knew everything. But I really knew nothing. I had no idea what it cost you to help me, to stay with me through that. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "No. Don't. I'd do it all over again if I had to."

It's her turn to ask. "Why?"

"Because you needed me. I needed you."

She sighs and turns her head, pressing her ear once more to his chest. The strong, steady thump of his heart is reassuring. Kyp strokes his fingers through her hair and she sighs again.

"Most importantly," he says softly, after a while, "I love you. The only thing I'd do differently is that I'd chase Jag off."

Jaina laughs. She shifts to curl against his side, using his shoulder as a pillow. "We need a name for the baby."

"We have time. We'll think of one."

She nods, closes her eyes. Kyp tightens his grip on her and she falls asleep, secure in the safety of his arms.

 

Absolutely lovely and supportive and happy feels.

 

I like mush.

Okay, finished the bits that were giving me trouble, so updates should be faster now. But we're almost done with this 'fic.
------------------------------------------------------------------


--Control--

She isn't expecting him to step out of nowhere and seize her. One moment she's walking in the early spring garden, the next Jag is suddenly there, fingers tight on her arm. Jaina is too shocked by his abrupt appearance to fight back. Why is he here? How did he get here?

“Hello, Master Durron,” he says coldly.

She tries to pull her hand from his grip, but it's like iron around her wrist. It isn't painful, just unyielding. She can't fight him in her condition, regrets leaving her lightsaber in her bedroom. Hates that she has the thought about a man she once adored. “Let me go, Jag. Please.”

“It's Emperor Fel now,” he reminds her, and it unfreezes her. She doesn't need her lightsaber. She's a Jedi Master.

Jaina takes a breath, pulling on the Force-

“I don't care if you're the living avatar of the Force. Unhand my wife before I unhand you.”

That makes Jag let go. He whirls on Kyp, face hard and angry, mouth curled in a snarl. But he falters at the expression on Kyp's own features. Jaina steps around him and goes to her husband. It hurts to see Jag this way, but even if he were to renounce his empire this very moment, she could not go back. Would not go back even if it were an option.

She rubs her wrist. “I'm fine,” she tells Kyp. “I know you'd dearly love to punch his face in. He's not worth it.”

Jag's pale green gaze sweeps over her, taking in her hand on Kyp's arm, the swell of her stomach. “I thought you'd get him out of your system and come back to me,” he says. “Then I heard you married him, and I had to see for myself. I didn't expect…”

He looks at her wrist. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“You didn't mean a lot of things,” she reminds him quietly.

Kyp steps between them. He hasn't reached for his lightsaber, but he doesn't need it. They all know that if necessary, Jag would be dead before he hit the ground and Kyp wouldn't even need to move.

Jag is apparently truly realising this for the first time. How he managed to escape the knowledge all these years mystifies Jaina. He straightens, but doesn't take the step back he so clearly wants. “I was hoping to speak to Jaina alone.”

“I'm his wife, Jag. Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him. I'd just tell him anyway.”

“You always did,” he sneers.

“Not everything. I didn't tell him about how you assaulted me on the Ralroost. I didn't tell him about how you said I had no concept of honour and then begged me to take you back. I didn't tell him about how you manipulated me into keeping secrets that got a Jedi apprentice killed by telling me I would be a bad fiancée for warning the Masters. Not when those things happened, anyway.”

Jaina is amazed that, angry as she is, her voice doesn't shake in listing just a few of his sins. She crosses her arms above her stomach. “I gave you years of my life. I don't need to give you any more of my time. Get off this planet now, or never leave it.”

She feels a thrum of amusement from Kyp, but his face is still set in anger.

Jag looks between them. Very quietly, he asks, “Did you ever love me, or was I just the less scary option?”

The answer is “both”, but she says, “I loved you. But you didn't love me. You loved the idea of me. The Jaina Solo you thought you were with never existed, Jag. All your attempts to make me fit her killed our marriage.”

He clenches black-gloved hands, then clasps them behind his back, his posture ramrod straight. “And I suppose Kyp here loves the real you? Knows the real you?”

“Hard not to when we're in each other's heads,” Kyp tells him. “But yes. Which is why I backed off. I respected her to make her own choices.”

“I see. Of course, you couldn't wait to swoop in and make your move as soon as I was gone.”

“I made the move,” Jaina tells him. “Kyp would have waited until we were both old and grey. He doesn't try to live my life for me and never has. Jag, you never even let me order my own food when we went out to eat! I had to trick you on our honeymoon into looking for something important because you whined about helping the Jedi. You only stopped when I promised you sex. Not because it was something I was interested in and would help our family, but because you'd get personal gratification out of it. And you just decided, without consulting me, that we were going to move to Bastion. I didn't have a voice. So I gave myself one. I left.”

He looks stricken, as if just now realising how tightly he'd tried to hold her. “I…”

Kyp isn't bothered by the relative intimacy of the argument. She's already told him everything by now. Through their bond, she can tell he's proud of her.

“I'm not blameless,” she admits. “I let you because I was afraid to be alone and you were familiar. I let you think things that were wrong, and I lied about my feelings for someone else. And I'm sorry for that. But we were toxic, Jag. The first time we were together, we couldn't stay together more than six months without a huge blow out, and that was when we barely even saw each other. We were engaged six weeks when I had to call it off. Are you really surprised we only lasted eighteen months after we got engaged the second time? Thirteen months of marriage was a kriffing all-time record for us.”

Kyp thinks, Our last real argument involved lightsabers when you were nineteen.

She sends back, Hush, you.

Oblivious to their mental conversation, Jag says, “I had no idea you were so unhappy with me.”

“For a large part, I wasn't,” Jaina tells him quietly. “But I couldn't keep doing it. I left for me, not for Kyp. Kyp came after.”

Her ex-husband nods. “Which you told me before. I didn't want to believe it. I still love you.”

“Part of me will always love you. Kyp knows that. But I can't be with you. I can't be what you need.”

“I understand that now. I'll… Take my leave. You don't need to fear repercussions, Jaina. I'm not that petty.”

As he turns, Jaina says, “Wait.”

Jag stops, his back to her. “Yes?”

“How is Tahiri? Is she still there with you?”

“The Emperor’s Hand is just fine. She's here with me. I'll tell her you asked about her, see if she'll come speak with you.”

He strides off, and this time she lets him go.

Kyp takes her hand. Her wrist is a little red, but not bruised. “How many times are you going to have to explain to him why you divorced him?”

“I think it finally got through.” She leans into him. “I'm sorry you had to hear all that.”

“Jaina, you were married to him. I know that I'm not the first man to have your heart. You have a right to your feelings, whatever they might be. I may not like all of them, but they're still yours.” He wraps a lock of her hair around his finger. “I just hate that you keep having to explain yourself to him. First when you broke up, then when Tahiri went to tattle on us, and now.”

“He's never learned quite as fast as you. Neither did Zekk.”

"I've always been a fast learner."

He pulls her close, and she leans into him. She wishes fervently that the confrontation hadn't happened, hadn't shattered what she'd been hoping would be an idyllic afternoon with Kyp.

Her husband kisses the top of her head. "Don't," he says softly, and she realises she's been projecting her distress. "Don't let him win, Goddess."

She huffs in annoyance. "I'm not. I'm just irritated and ... The weather is finally warm enough we can be outside again and I'm not stuck inside, and this happens."

He guides her to what she's come to think of as "their" bench. "Sit. Enjoy the sun."

Jaina looks at the red mark on her wrist. "Yelling at him felt better than it should have. And it brought back so many bad things. I know he didn't *mean* to do them, but..."

"I know." He wraps his arm around her shoulders, resting his chin on the top of her head as she leans into him. "Maybe this will be a wakeup call for him. Maybe not. But you don't have to worry about him anymore."

He splays his hand over the bump of their child. The baby kicks and wiggles, strong enough now for him to feel it. Kyp grins. "She's a strong one, like her mother."

Jaina places her hand over his, stroking her fingers over the scar on the back. "So, I have a short list of names."

"Let's hear them."

 

I loved that! Every word. The oomphy tell it like it is of Jaina. She is forceful like Leia knows how to be and take it as you see it like her dad. And I adore that Kyp is supportive without crowding, always has been. And his certainty that it's a girl. Daddies always know or wish.

 

They can feel it's a girl. I also mentioned last chapter that they know the gender.

 

This chapter was giving me fits. But now that it's done, I can finish up the last couple chapters and get to work on the sequel!

-----------------------------------------------

--Moment--

Jaina is back in their apartment, as Kyp's been called to speak to Luke about something, when the door chime sounds. Reaching out, she senses Tahiri on the other side.

It's been a long time since she's seen her friend. She's still a touch irritated that Tahiri took off for the Unknown Regions without attempting to speak to Jaina about anything.

She opens the door and lets the blonde woman in. Tahiri's dressed in an Imperial uniform, her usually bare feet clad in shiny black knee boots. Her blonde curls are the only unrestrained thing about her, tumbling over her shoulders with abandon.

Silently, Jaina gestures to the sofa.

As they sit, Tahiri says, "So the rumours are true. You and Kyp really are married and..."

Jaina places a hand protectively over her belly. "Yes. It happened a bit suddenly, but we're happy."

"Jag isn't."

"I know. But that's not my fault."

Tahiri says, "I guess not. But he loves you."

"In a way, he does," Jaina tells her quietly, "but not the way I need."

"And Kyp Durron does?" Tahiri demands incredulously. "I thought you guys were acting funny, but when I realised you were sleeping with him..."

"I actually hadn't been," Jaina snaps. "It was so nice of you to make rash judgements and run off to tattle to my ex about my new relationship. If it was any of his business, I would have let him know myself!"

Tahiri's green eyes go wide. Jaina has never, in the years they've been friends, yelled at her before.

They're both quiet for several minutes. Tahiri fidgets; she's never been good at sitting still, and it gets worse when she's agitated. Finally, she says, "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought..."

"That I left Jag for Kyp?"

"... Yeah. Kinda."

"No. I tried to make it work, but when I realised he was slowly making me give up everything that I am, I had to end it." Jaina sighs. "I'm tired of having to defend my choices."

"Maybe you should stop making bad ones, then."

Jaina narrows her eyes at Tahiri. "Jag was a bad choice. Kyp is not. Kyp..."

"Adores you," Tahiri says softly. "Everyone knows that.

"Yeah."

"Are you happy?"

She nods. "More than I've ever been."

"Okay," Tahiri sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Just... Stay out of my relationships in the future."

"Will do." The younger woman stretches her legs out before her.

Jaina says, "You're wearing shoes."

"Star Destroyer floors are cold," Tahiri says. "I keep trying to get Jag to install heated floors, but he just gives
me that look. I'm sure you know it."

"The 'That's a ridiculous waste of resources and you're an idiot for suggesting it' one?" Jaina asks dryly.

"That's it exactly. It's just easier to put the boots on."

They lapse back into silence. Jaina leans back, feeling for the baby's kicks. But her daughter seems to be napping at the moment.

Tahiri chews on her lip. "Hey, uh... I have a question."

"Shoot."
"Since you're clearly not getting back together with Jag, how do you feel about him dating?"

Jaina lifts a brow. "He's welcome to do whatever he wishes. Why?"

"Just... wondering."

Something in the way Tahiri avoids her gaze clicks in Jaina's brain, and she sits up as much as she's able. The idea is absurd, and yet...

"You love him," she says.

Tahiri is aghast. "What? No!"

"You do," Jaina insists. "You're in love with Jag."

"I-" The blonde stops, looks stricken. "No. I- I love Anakin."

Jaina reaches over, places her hand on Tahiri's arm. "Tahiri. Anakin's been gone almost twenty years. You need to let him go. For your sake."

It's clear that she's tempted to pull away, but Tahiri stays where she is. She finally looks up at Jaina. "You wouldn't be mad?"

Sighing, Jaina shakes her head. "I want Jag to be happy. I want *you* to be happy. It's weird, but if it works, go for it. Just... Go into things knowing that he's an utter control freak and grew up learning twisted mind games from both the Chiss and the Imperials."

"Nothing is more twisted than the Yuuzhan Vong," Tahiri tells her wryly.

"He's critical," Jaina continues. "You screw up even slightly, he lets you know."

Tahiri nods. "I'm his Hand. I'm aware."

"No, I mean..."

Haltingly, Jaina tells her of the breakdown of her first marriage. She keeps some things back, such as Jag's assault on the Ralroost when she was twenty. Tahiri listens in silence, face solemn. Somehow, it's harder to tell Tahiri than it was to tell Kyp.

When she finishes, Tahiri shrugs. "Sounds mild compared to Caedus, but duly noted. I'm sorry you went through that."

"I'm sorry that Jacen-" Jaina stops.

"Yeah. No need. You weren't responsible for him, and as much as I hate to say it, you did everyone a favour. I'm sorry that I helped him."

They both smile weakly.

Tahiri looks to Jaina's stomach. "So what are you having?"

"A girl."

"Do you have a name picked?"

Jaina shakes her head. "Not yet. We have a short list, but nothing definite."

"I'm happy for you. On all counts."

"Thanks."

Then Tahiri stands. "Tell your parents I said hello. And Kyp, I guess."

"I will."

Jaina moves to get up, but Tahiri motions her to stay.

"Stay put. I'll see myself out."

Jaina watches her leave, wondering if it's the last time she'll see her friend. She hopes not. Hopes, too, that Tahiri can find peace. Maybe with Jag, maybe not.

Kyp enters not long after Tahiri's exit. He drops onto the sofa beside his wife. "So. How'd the visit go?"

"Good, overall. Kinda awkward." Jaina reaches for his hand. "She's in love with Jag."

Her husband blinks rapidly for several moments, mouth hanging open. "... What?"

"I don't know how he feels, but Tahiri loves him."

"Uh."

"Yeah."

"She knows he's a steaming pile of poodoo, right?"

She shrugs. "I told her. She said he can't be worse than Caedus."

Kyp shudders. Privately, Jaina agrees. But the choice isn't up to her.

"I think I picked a name off the short list," she tells him.

"Yeah? Which one?"

"Kyrie."

He beams. "That was my favourite, too."

"We think alike so much, it's scary."

He splays his hand over her stomach. As if sensing him there, the baby wakes and kicks.

"Hi, Kyrie," he says. "Mommy and I can't wait to meet you."

Jaina shifts to lean against him, and for a little, despite arguments with exes and awkwardness with old friends, all is right in the world.

 

Very realistic scene there with Tahiri with the shifting and tangled emotions. Kyrie is a lovely name.

 

--Gentle--

Jaina is no longer graceful, Kyp observes as they leave the medical ward. She moves slowly, gait ungainly as she waddles. She's eight months pregnant and though he'd never say it aloud--he's not suicidal, after all--she looks like a ball with legs.

After a moment of watching her walk, he sweeps her up in his arms. Even so very pregnant, she doesn't weigh enough to be a burden.

“I can walk!” she protests.

“Cilghal said bed rest,” Kyp reminds her. “This will get you there faster. I'm worried you'll take so long, you'll finish this pregnancy before we get to our quarters.”

She frowns and half-heartedly thumps his shoulder. But the way she relaxes against him, looping an arm around his neck, tells him the protest is entirely for show. He knows how tired she is, true rest being difficult with only a few sleep positions available and the baby kicking. Their daughter's kicked a few times hard enough to wake him; he can't imagine how battered Jaina is inside with that going on.

Back in their quarters, Kyp carries Jaina into the bedroom and sets her on the bed. He pulls her shoes off and helps her get under the covers. She leans back against the pillows and sighs.

“Two months of this,” she mutters. “I'm going to lose my mind.”

“Don't worry, I'll be here to keep you company, when I'm not otherwise occupied.”

“... I'll lose my mind even faster.”

He sticks his tongue out at her and she grins wearily.

“Lie with me?” she asks plaintively.

“Of course.”

Kyp slides into bed behind her, wrapping an arm around her expansive middle. He presses a kiss to her hair. “Just a few more weeks and Kyrie will be here.”

Jaina wiggles until she's comfortable and heaves a sigh. “I'm so tired of being pregnant.”

“I know. But we'll have a baby soon. And then you'll just be tired.” He grins and Jaina turns her head to stick her tongue out at him.

She catches his hand, holds it in her own. “Part of me is still trying to adjust to the idea we're even together, let alone married and about to be parents. You know?”

“Yeah. It's all happened so fast. But it's a good fast, if that makes sense.”

“Mm. Yeah. We've been best friends for so long, we just moved right into family.” She huffs a laugh. “A little more time with just you and me and all the sex we want would have been nice, but this happened with me on birth control, so I guess Kyrie is meant to be here now.”

"I don't view that as a problem at all. I'm excited. There was a time I wasn't sure I'd get to be a father, so this is... Beyond good." He doesn't say that it was only a year or so ago that he had basically resigned himself to being alone forever.

"Since you're so thrilled, you get diaper duty."

He laughs and kisses her shoulder. "Okay, I'll agree to that."

"Really?"

"You'll be feeding her. I should be prepared to handle something. I'm her father."

That's a heady thing to say. He's going to be a father in just a few weeks. He can't put into words how that makes him feel.

And at the moment, he doesn't have to, because Jaina has fallen asleep. He sighs, brushes a kiss against her hair, and does the same.

 

Oh scrumptious happy basking.

 

I don't know what's up with the formatting now. Since I switched to Chrome, it always goes wonky.

 

WarmNyota_SweetAyesha , here's another update for you!

----------------------------------

--Happiness--

As Jaina sleeps soundly beside him, Kyp lies awake, one hand resting on the swell of her stomach. He doesn't know how she can sleep through their daughter’s kicks and squirming. Her stomach shifts as Kyrie stretches. It looks uncomfortable to him.

Through the Force, Kyp reaches out, brushing against Kyrie’s presence. She stills, a bright spot of what he'd call joy as she recognises him.

Hi, little one.

She doesn't know words yet, not properly, but Kyrie can tell him apart from Jaina, from Leia and Allana and the others who have made themselves known. To her, he is emotions of safety, love, and happiness, because that's what Jaina feels for him. Jaina is the same, but slightly different. Jaina is always present, Kyp is a frequent and welcome visitor.

He smiles, running his hand over Jaina's belly. They have just a few weeks left, if that, until he gets to hold his daughter and meet her properly.

Kyrie reaches out faintly, touching her mind against his and Jaina's, and his wife wakes. Her hand moves to cover his, and she murmurs sleepily, “Hi, baby.”

Kyp kisses her shoulder and laces his fingers through hers. “Go back to sleep, Goddess,” he whispers.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Jaina rolls over, snuggling against him, and is soon deeply asleep once more. Kyp lifts a lock of hair out of her face, studying her features in the faint light through the window.

He knows just how lucky he is to have her, is still amazed that she would want him, for all those years of wanting and dreaming. He doesn't deserve her, or the life they're building together. He knows this and is grateful for every moment they have together.

Kyp used to think he knew what happiness was. It wasn't something he had a lot of, but he was content enough. This, though, this feeling he has holding Jaina, watching her stomach shift as Kyrie stretches, knowing that soon he'll be able to hold his daughter, this is nothing like he's ever expected to feel.

The prospect of fatherhood is scary and exhilarating at the same time. He knows Jaina feels the same; she just doesn't show it because she's physically exhausted most of the time.

He drums his fingers on Jaina's stomach, and Kyrie kicks in response. Kyp grins.

Soon, he thinks.

Meeting Kyrie can't come fast enough for him.