1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Before - Legends Cupcakes for a Cupcake (KOTOR AU | Mission Vao & OC | Fluff ) - B'day fic for Raissa Baiard!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Title: Cupcakes for a Cupcake
    Authors: Ewok Poet and Findswoman
    Canonicity: Legends AU
    Genre: Fluff
    Characters: Mission Vao, Stannislauf "Stann" Rzewanczkowski, with references to Katts Rzewanczkowski (OC, female Revan) and references to KOTOR characters - Carth Onasi, Canderous Ordo, Zaalbar, T3-M4, HK-47, as well as a couple other of Finds' OCs...
    Timeframe: 3956 BBY
    Rating: PG
    Length: Short

    Happiest of birthdays to a wonderful writer and friend, the one and only Raissa Baiard, from your very own Goats! [face_party] Wishing you many cupcakes on this day, none of them tragic, all of them delectable. @};-
    - @Findswoman

    I had an idea and we went with it, utilising the chat format from our mashup. And since no cheeka can resist Carth Onasi and both Mission and Stann were awarded as characters in the past...why not pair them and make it super-fun? MOTHER GOAT IN THE HEART, ANGRY MACE FOR THE WIN!
    - @Ewok Poet

    Stann, Katts and the whole concept of a female Revan having a quirky father was established by Finds in Just Ask Dad; or, Talking Things Through on Taris and then further explored in The Prodigal Knight and the Tragic Cupcake, which was a prize for Raissa. EP wrote Mission Vao, curiously, as a fic-gift for Finds in Family is What You Make It.


    Mission Vao: “Good..whatever time it may be on your planet. Like...hellooooo? Where are you, fuzzy beard pateesa?” (taps her feet)

    Stann: “G’dafternoon. Stanislauff Rzewanczkowski here. Who’m I speakin’ to?” (squints at the holographic figure atop the comm unit) “Hey, you’re that young slicer pal o’ Kattsie’s, aren’tcha? Mishi Vowel, is it?”

    Mission Vao: “Mishi Vowel? Okay, have it your way...though you’re ticking me off.” (the Twi’lek twirls the very end of her left lekku). “Need something sliced, don’t you?”

    Stann: “Aw, I apologize, Mistress Vowel, I meant no harm. Now what can I do for ya?”

    Mission Vao: “ know Master Tragic Cupcake? He apparently goes by Carth Onasi as well. We’re gonna throw him a birthday party. I sliced some...stuff and got a hold of his holo-ID…”

    Stann (guffaws): “Well, well now, that’s really somethin’! Didn’t know it was his birthday. Don’t know if Kattsie does either. Better tell her, too, or she might do like she did to that school friend of hers that one time… think it involved a clavi-pian an’ a whole bunch o’ broken bottles… anyhow, there somethin’ you’d like me to do with his holo-ID?”

    Mission Vao: “I’ve got Katts covered. She keeps on saying that we should not be doing this, but OF COURSE that we’re going to have it our way. Big Z agrees, right? (Wookiee howls in the background) So does T3…”

    Stann: “Good, good. ’Cause she don’t like surprises. There was this time she was in summer camp… but I’ll tell you that story another time. But what’s up with Master Tragic Cupcake? You need some happy cupcakes for his party? I can recommend a swell li’l bake shop, but it’s down by the Aratech plant on Carida, an’ your signal’s comin’ in as Tatooine, so that probably ain’t gonna do you much good.”

    Mission Vao: “I think we will try something locally made.” (T3 interjects) “Neeeeeever mind, I am not sure if anybody in their sane mind would eat that. Not that he’s sane, but yeah…”

    Stann: “Awright, well, another thing you’re gonna need is somethin’ to drink. What’s Commander Cupcake Onassis’ favorite thing to drink? Me, I’m just fine with a hearty Trandoshan ale, myself, but Commander Cupcake looks like he might go in for the froufrou schmancy stuff like Whyren’s Reserve.”

    Mission Vao: “I am not legally allowed to drink on almost any planet, don’t you know? How about I..I just believe you?”

    Stann: “Fair ’nuff, fair ’nuff. Just grab some sparklewater an’ some fizzyglug an’ you’re probably fine. Cupcakes… drinkables… now, what else d’we need… Oh ho. Music. No party’s complete without music. Somethin’ upbeat an’ good to dance to. Now I dunno if you know, but Katts used to be the all-sector dance champion back when she was in school… made Florissa Spevverley-Antilles so jealous… but never mind that. Now, music… how d’you think Master Cupcake’d like ‘The Noogachatta Repulsorchoo’? Or ‘The Blue Solleu Waltz’?”

    Mission Vao: “I think he prefers ‘In the Maw’. But...just HOW did you know that he’s the type to be into this music from the Tython era? Is that because he uses BarbaShave? Is that because you can read people’s thoughts, much like I thiiiink your daughter can? I have a bad feeling about this. But also a good feeling. I dunno.”

    Stann: “Aw, well, BarbaShave is BarbaShave, y’know. Classic stuff. Nothin’ like it. I’ll take it over that highfalutin shave soap poodoo anyday. Now, as to readin’ thoughts… interestin’ you should mention that... lemme tell you ’bout the time Katts—”

    Mission Vao: “No, let ME tell you ‘bout the time when I was trying to get an advice from Stann the Mann and he kept on talking about completely unrelated things. Focus, Master BarbaShave, FOCUS. If HK can, so can you! And that droid’s daaaarn sure got the hyperspace activity disorder of some wacky non-organic variant. So, other than non-alcoholic drinks and music, we need to think about a gift. The thing is, we cannot find BarbaShave on this backwater world, but given just HOW backwater they are, there might be Old Kessel deodorant available. Another Tython era thingy…”

    Stann: “Now just hold on a moment there, Missy Vowel. Don’t getcher micros in a muddle. Old Kessel, now, that gives me an idea… back when Nolene and I—(he pauses a minute to sniff and sob loudly) Nolene, darlin’! You left me too soon! (he sniffs and sobs some more, then collects himself and continues)—that was my wife, Katts’ mom, y’know—anyway, back when Nolene and I were first goin’ out, she got me one of those Old Kessel Male Sentients’ Bathe+Shave gift kits for my birthday, an’ I was jus’ so tickled I could barely—anyway, they still got those? I could see Master Onassis goin’ for somethin’ classy an’ stylish like that.”

    Mission Vao: “I am sorry for your loss. I lost my parents and my brother is dead to me after what happ—”

    Stann: “Say no more, Miss Vowel, say no more. I completely understand. It’s a hard thing, losin’ someone you love. Does things to ya, y’know. (pauses and heaves a deep sigh) “Anyway, guess we gotta get back on track. See if you can find one o’ the Old Kessel kits, that’s a good idea. That or maybe some o’ that high-end Vev-Osk-Five Hair an’ Fur Stylin’ Gel. Bet he’d like that, heh heh. But wait a minute, where are you gonna go get all this stuff, anyway? You’re in, like, the far back corner o’ the Outer Rim! Not like you can just hop down the street to the local Seven-Hundred-Twenty-Three-Hundred or head downtown to Herf & Mern…”

    Mission Vao: “Ooooh, boooooy. You are not street-smart, arentcha? Do you really, really think that somebody like me would not be able to figure that out herself? Helloo, I was ALMOST a member of the Hidden Beks back on Taris. And-and-and I almost romanced that Zayne when I was really young, it’s just that I EVENTUALLY decided that love sucks and I still stand by it. I have seen more at fourteen that some folks have seen at fifty. Just take a typical Czerka Corporation worker, born and raised to work in one of their shady operations, like the one here. Oh, that reminds me - I am somewhat surprised that somebody like you didn’t suggest getting weapons for the cupcake soldier. Phew!” (catches a breath)

    Stann: “Now wait just a minute, young lady. You’re wrong about one thing. I never worked for those sleemos at Czerka. It was Aratech all the way for me. Foreman of the Portable Munitions Division for near on 40 years, I’ll have you know. But anyhow. If ya really know where to get cupcakes an’ fizzyglug and Old Kessel gift kits an’ Vev-Osk-Five on backrocket ’Rim outposts, then more power to ya. If you don’t, well, then, I guess we can always get him one of those boxes that you open an’ an oven mitt pops out an’ bops you in the face. Every planet’s in the Galaxy’s got a joke shop, heh heh.”

    Mission Vao: “Heey...I kind of like the idea of that. For some reason, this mess of a snafu that they call a city has a shop that sells that kind of stuff. I’d rather not talk to you about, err, what kind of things I have seen. I shouldn’t have been looking at them, technically…”

    Stann: “Aw, now, that reminds me of the time—”

    Mission Vao: “I DON’T THINK I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.” (puts both palms on her ears) “Pateesa, I’m underage on most planets!”

    Stann: “Whaddidja think I was talkin’ about? Naw, it was one of those oven mitt things. One o’ Katts’s early boyfriends, his little sis got her one of ’em as a graduation gift. BIIIIIG mistake!... But never mind that. Go getcher cupcakes an’ fizzyglug an’ Tython-era tunes an’ the oven mitt thingamajig, an’ you should be all set to go.”

    Mission Vao: “Whew, I was worried there for a second...and oh my Force, they are coming! Not the two lovebirds that should get a room, but the rest of our group of oddlings! They are supposed to think that this was my idea...for now.” (makes a sneaky facial expression and winks)

    Stann (winks back): “Good on ya, Mishi Vowel, good on ya. Katts an’ her cupcake are mighty lucky to have you an’ your posse as friends. I know they’re all gonna have a grand ol’ time. Now go out there an’ do your thing. You’re a woman on a mission. Hah! Made a pun… Mishi… Mission… get it? HAHAHAHA!” (dissolves in guffaws as his holographic image fades out)

    Mission Vao (to herself): “Didn’t even get to tell him thanks. Oh well, he always has it his way, okay…there will be other opportunities to…” (spot Canderous Ordo and HK) “So, yeah, helloooo there, where have you been while I was on my own, planning all this?”
    Last edited: May 3, 2018
  2. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Nov 22, 1999
    Aww, thank you so much @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman! [:D] [:D] [:D] What a sweet birthday cupcake this is! It’s always a joy to see everyone’s favorite rambling Space!Dad, Stann the man, and pairing him up with Miss Independent Mission Vao (or should I say Mishi Vowel? [face_laugh]) is perfect. I’m not sure anything Mission’s been through traversing Taris’s lower city has prepared her for an extended bout of Stann’s patented brand of advice! You can see how she goes from mostly amused at him wandering off-topic to will-this-geezer-ever-get-to-the-point? Hey, respect your elders, you snarky teen! They know stuff, y’know? Even when they’re going off on multiple tangents. (And, wow, Katts must have had some very troubled teen years, judging from the number of anecdotes Stann has! I bet when Florissa Spevverly-Antilles found out Katts had gone to the Dark Side, she was like “yep, saw that coming.”)

    You've got a whole post worth of fanon products here, and I just love them! Old Kessel (the predecessor to VibroAxe, obviously :D) tickles me, as does the idea that it's old school even before the Jedi Civil War, and such a Dad Thing, though of course
    Just ask a Certain Young Rebel getting ready to see his sweetheart :ezra: I love the GFFA Big Band titles, too, and yup, of course Commander Snazzy would enjoy it!

    All the KOTOR references, from Mission's trademark "have it your way!" to Czerka and Aratech and cameos by Big Z, Canderous and HK are just the icing on the cupcake. I also caught that sly reference to the oven mitt--that a certain Revan-esque jizz-wailer once wore, well, never mind, I wouldn't want to offend Mission's delicate sensibilities again.

    So does this mean Carth and I share a birthday? I'd invite the Tragic Cupcake over for a party, but I have a feeling Katts would object :D Thanks so much for this birthday treat. The sweetest part is having great friends like the two of you! [face_love] @};-
    Findswoman and Ewok Poet like this.
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh FUN! I could so picture this. Stann just going on and on. Talk both ears off he would. :p

    Miss Vowel indeed. 8-}