Saga Day to day: Qui-Gon's journal just after Naboo/ updated 07/23

I can also keep breathing while I write. When I?m talking that?s still kind of an issue.

Wonderful entries!

 

Aww, glad Obi-Wan doesn't blame him anymore!! Though he needs to settle down a little bit and talk to Qui-Gon.

Great post!! My favorite so far Sorry I was so late. I hope you update soon!!

 

Jinngerbread: Yes, hugs would be good and who better to give them then all of us? Glad you liked!

Valairy_Scot: Thank you, characterization is important to me so I'm glad to hear I have it right. Yup, Obi-Wan is feeling guilty. And maybe not just about... oops, that would be telling

GeneralKenobi7: Gruel can be good As for sorting things out

p_stotts: Oh, yes, that gimmer stick is one big help to get things straight, isn't it? And thanks, I'm glad you like.

VaderLVR64: Thank you very much

NYCitygurl: Wow, thanks! And no apology needed for being late, I'm just happy you like enough to read. Besides, I'm late myself these days, very...


And finally, here's the next part.

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[i]//Entry posted 01/21/ 969 RR
//Entry time 8:26//[/i]

Couldn?t find the strength to make an entry yesterday, after the physical. Force, I had expected it to hurt, but not that much! It?s more than the reattached and healing muscles protesting, it?s the implants, I?m sure of it. My whole body seems to resist them. It feels so heavy to have them inside me and breathing with the artificial lung is still a chore. N?oab says I?ll get used to it and it will become a natural process again. I hope so. In the mean time I guess I should be thankful I?m breathing at all.

In about an hour the therapy droid they programmed for me yesterday will come for the next session and they?ve scheduled him for this afternoon as well. My whole body still screams at me from yesterday, but I have to do it. I want out of here.

Obi-Wan and Anakin came by yesterday, as I had hoped, and looked more relaxed together. I wanted to ask so much, but the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to the soft glow of the nightlights and they were gone. Salina told me they were also here this morning. It?s frustrating to realize I have slept through another of their visits. I hope things go better this afternoon, I want to talk to them. I want to know how they are doing.



[i]//Entry posted 01/21/ 969 RR
//Entry time 15.58// [/i]

Haven?t seen Obi-Wan and Anakin yet, instead Yoda came. He has visited me before, but this time it wasn?t a social call, he came to lecture me. Not that that?s anything new. Apparently Obi-Wan has confronted him about my suspicions on his knighting. And I wasn?t there to witness it!

?Your defiance Obi-Wan does not need?, Yoda told me. Maybe not, but the Council sure does. I can just picture how some of them will react when they hear about this. Especially Mace.

Thinking about that actually hurts. I miss the friend he used to be, now more than ever.

When I finally could get a word in, I asked Yoda why I?m still alive. We may not agree on a lot of things, but we do love and respect each other and when he came into my room I realized I wanted to discuss this with him. Unfortunately he was too piqued about the confrontation with Obi-Wan. All he said was, ?Stubborn you are, but even more stubborn your padawan can be, more stubborn than the force. Accept your dead he did not.? And then he left.

Was he telling me that yes, I had died, just like I seem to remember? And if Obi-Wan managed to save me, why don?t they just say so? Maybe Obi-Wan hasn?t told anybody what happened? After all, he was the only one there. I have to try and get an answer out of him. I sense it is important.

Have to stop. My chest muscles are cramping up and my arms feel as heavy as duracrete. The sharp pain I feel when I take a breath is getting worse as well, so I better try and go to sl- oh crap, some alarm just went off. I think I overdid things. Better hide this pad fast.

 

Poor Qui-Gon!! I want answers too

 

Wow, that's fast, Nat!

And I'm sure that answers will come, eventually, somewhere along the line

 

Haven?t seen Obi-Wan and Anakin yet, instead Yoda came. He has visited me before, but this time it wasn?t a social call, he came to lecture me. Not that that?s anything new. Apparently Obi-Wan has confronted him about my suspicions on his knighting. And I wasn?t there to witness it!

?Your defiance Obi-Wan does not need?, Yoda told me.

Eh - what's up with that? Qui's suspicions? What would Qui suspect? Why would Obi confront Yoda over it?

 

Was he telling me that yes, I had died, just like I seem to remember? And if Obi-Wan managed to save me, why don?t they just say so? Maybe Obi-Wan hasn?t told anybody what happened? After all, he was the only one there. I have to try and get an answer out of him. I sense it is important.

Have to stop. My chest muscles are cramping up and my arms feel as heavy as duracrete. The sharp pain I feel when I take a breath is getting worse as well, so I better try and go to sl- oh crap, some alarm just went off. I think I overdid things. Better hide this pad fast.

Another superb update!

 

*snort* Well at least he's feeling good enough to be piqued about things. Here's hoping he actually gets to carry on a lucid conversation with Obi and Ani, or Obi at the very least. Great update, Seremela. I hope to read more from you soon.

 

Stubborn you are, but even more stubborn your padawan can be, more stubborn than the force.
That's a good description for them both.

Really good update!

 

Hello: Super idea for a diary. I was fascinated by Obi-Wan's continued resentment ... I'd have figured it'd be swallowed up by his intense relief to still have Qui. Your detailing of the uncomfortable nature of things between Anakin and Obi-wan seems very true to their characters. It was a wonderful idea to send the pad to Obi-wan... he should have taken that as an explanation and apology instead of becoming all defensive although it's good he apologized for being so angry. Things do seem to be smoothing out between he and Anakin for which I'm glad.

It was fun to discover this diary and have all these entries to read at once LOL Could I have PMs for updates?

 

NYCitygurl: Maybe there are some answers in this post, Nat. Maybe....

Valairy_Scot: Sorry that was unclear. I meant Qui-Gon's suspicions that the Council had delayed Obi-Wan's knighting so he could stay with Qui-Gon longer to keep him from too drastic - ahem - sidetracks Obi-Wan read that in the pad and he went to Yoda about it. I'll have to make that clearer

VaderLVR64: Thank you very much, glad you liked

p_stotts: Thank you! And I *am* a bit slow... sorry for that Here's to bettering my life

GeneralKenobi7: Thanks! And aren't they great when they're stubborn

Jade_eyes: Wow, thank you very much! I'm glad you like the diary sofar and I'll be honored to put you on the pm list!

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[i]//Entry posted 01/23/ 969 RR
//Entry time 11.09// [/i]


I finally know what happened on Naboo after the Sith struck me down. Sort of. Obi-Wan spilled it out. He?s mad at me, again. It starts to get a pattern with my former apprentice and it worries me deeply, because he was always a very levelheaded boy and young man. Too level-headed, I might add. Luckily he has a wry sense of humor or he would have been way too solemn. I always tried to get him to loosen up more, but this isn?t exactly what I had in mind.

When the alarms went off a few days ago, things were more serious than I thought. It wasn?t that I was overdoing things, not exactly anyway, but my body is as unhappy with these transplants as I am. I now know that it was one of the reasons my healing took so long, my body keeps rejecting the mechanical replacements of some fairly necessary organs, including a little electrical wiring through my spine.

When I woke up from the sedatives the next day, it was to a conversation between healers N?oab and Salina and I overheard their concerns about the repeated rejections by my body, although thankfully they could stop it this time with the right kind of drugs. My main concern however is my connection with the Force. I told them that and well, one thing led to another and I finally told them I rather wanted the implants out if they are the reason my connection to the Force is so fragile right now that I can?t even get into a healing trance.

All right, yelled at them might have been a better way to put it.

They?ve convinced me by now that my concerns are nonsense, there are enough Jedi around with mechanical replacements for lost body parts, which I might have remembered first before my forceful statements, but it turned out that Obi-Wan had heard. He came to my room later on, rather upset, and told me that he had had enough, that he couldn?t go through it again, couldn?t feel me die again. He asked me if I even knew how much it had cost him, how horrible it had been, to sit there in the cooling pit at Theed, waiting for someone, anyone to come and help me, all the while fighting with every Force power he had to keep me alive.

I?ve seen him agitated before, I?ve trained him for years after all, but never, ever like this. His emotions? they poured right out of him together with the words, as if he had forgotten all about shielding. I asked Salina later on and she finally admitted that the wound should have killed me and Obi-Wan must have put a lot of Force healing into me simply to keep me breathing and my heart beating.

It humbles me that he thought me worth the effort. It is also upsetting. Because using so much Force power for healing drains a person and when done too long kills them. If he had killed himself to save me, I don?t know what I had done. The thought is simply too awful to think about.

So now I know why I?m still alive. But now I?m left with another burning question, how did Obi-Wan survive what he did for me? And I think I also need to find out what is troubling him so much that he let go of his emotions the way he does lately.

 

All right, yelled at them might have been a better way to put it.
Classic Qui-Gon

I want answers as much as Qui-Gon does by now...

 

Looking forward to more answers. I'm glad Obi was able to vent a bit.

 

So now I know why I?m still alive. But now I?m left with another burning question, how did Obi-Wan survive what he did for me? And I think I also need to find out what is troubling him so much that he let go of his emotions the way he does lately.

Great update!

 

Awww, poor Obi-Wan!! He loves Qui-Gon so much. I'll bet what's troubling him is that Qui-Gon almost died and isn't getting much better and he doesn't know what to do.

 

Nods head in agreement. Obi probably poured so much Force into Qui that he has trouble connecting or releasing his own emotions into it. Maybe the healers should check Obi out.

Great to see both our Jedi "speaking" even if "not gently."

 

Qui-Gon yelled at the healers? Well, at least we know his core personality is still intact. I think Yoda definitely needs to set down with both Qui and Obi and get things settled between them. Or both need to have a few joint sessions with a soul healer. Don't they realize that all this strife is no good for Anakin, let alone themselves, and that Anakin is going to need them both in the future... althought they're both probably too humble to realize how true that is. Great update! Sorry it took me so long to get to it. Busy, busy, busy....

 

GeneralKenobi7, Jade_eyes , VaderLVR64 , NYCitygurl , Valairy_Scot , p_stotts: thank you all so very much for reading this and commenting!

I only have a short time, trying to update before I go on holiday, and this diary expires for the challenge. So I'm very sorry that I can't react individually to everyone. And that it's a short update.

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[i]//Entry posted 01/23/ 969 RR
//Entry time 16:02//[/i]

I can?t do much these days but survive my physical therapy. So when Obi-Wan and Anakin visit, I can hardly talk with them, let alone start questioning Obi-Wan. That boy is way too stubborn!

Anakin seems happier though and they even laugh with each other now. Good.



[i]//Entry posted 01/24/ 969 RR
//Entry time 11:49//[/i]


I?m going to kill that therapy robot. No, can?t kill a robot, but I sure can harm it. If only I had my lightsaber?.



[i]//Entry posted 01/24/ 969 RR
//Entry time 16:21//[/i]

Wait until I can use the Force again, then that robot will find himself in too many pieces to ever be assembled back.



[i]//Entry posted 01/25/ 969 RR
//Entry time 20.56//[/i]

Finally have some strength back. Obi-Wan didn?t visit me today, but my old master, Dooku. Came in right in the middle of my afternoon session. Afterwards he had the gall to tell me I had better be grateful I could do this, and if that robot wanted me to train one hour, I should give it three. I don?t care that he?s right, I hurt too much after those sessions to appreciate crap like that.

He went on one of his diatribes against the Council afterwards. Afraid I dozed right through most of it. But I?m glad he?s going to stay for a while in the temple.



[i]//Entry posted 01/27/ 969 RR
//Entry time 16:09//[/i]

Still haven?t talked to Obi-Wan. Things go way better though, and I?m walking around now. Time to go corner him. I?m sure Anakin will want to help.

 

Pot calling kettle black. Yeah, Qui, like you're not stubborn, too.

So glad to hear Obi & Ani are laughing together.

Qui's desire to disassemble the therapy droid are funny!