1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - PT [DDC 2016] Letters Never Sent (OCs | ROTS) - COMPLETE, PARTIAL E-BOOK

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh, how I enjoyed the mix of situations and feelings! Anjie - he's so exuberant and very well written - into everything LOL with a paint bucket. ;) Yay for meeting up with Zizi again. Enjoying all the time more and more of Lil and Ranni's back story. I like that he's connecting despite himself to others and nice that he has a job - best to keep busy. Looking forward to how his time with Korgah unfolds.
    Findswoman and Ewok Poet like this.
  2. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you. :) I was looking at my friend's son, as he was growing up and he was into that kind of stuff. :D

    You'll find out...#soon. :)
  3. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 11

    <<LOCAL TIME: 21:17>>

    I may or may not have typed this one to read it out loud, like a scene from a holodrama. Is that cheating, Ranni?

    Today was Anjie’s first day of school.

    Mine, too!

    It was slightly bittersweet, Ranni. The child I should have been taking to school should have been a little dralling in a yellow collar, bearing your clan name and symbol on a brooch. You should have been standing next to me, holding his or her other hand, like every proud mother would. Instead of it, we’re light years away from each other, the only children you will ever take to school are your sister’s twins…

    …whom am I kidding? You might as well be married. It’s been nine months since I fled Sacorria. Somebody else’s drallings will be wearing those yellow collars, waiting to be evaluated and hopefully be red, just like you. And him, whoever he may be. This makes me sad. But you probably went on with your life, didn’t you?

    Oh, speaking of colours - I should not have been surprised that children on Corellia are not obliged to wear anything specific in terms of school uniforms, but I was. I just can’t stop wondering about all these things we were groomed into believing were abnormal. Anjie picked his clothes by himself. And yes, there is a Brave Banthas logo on his trousers. I thought that was stupid, but Gwynda sung a couple of lines of the theme song and kissed Anjie on the forehead.

    That said, Ranni…Gwynda has been unusually cheerful recently. I guess she’s got used to her job at last…or something? She is not complaining about Blobbo the Hutt at all. She sings while preparing caf, she sings while giving orders to the housekeeping droid. Yes, such a thing exists, they’re a special kind of mouse droids. She is not talking about Aldo like she used to, she seems to be pretty neutral about him. I hope she’s not using spice. But she sure looks pretty when she’s happy…for a Human, anyway.

    She was all dolled up when she followed me and Anjie to school this morning. He had a hard time saying goodbye to her at the playground and then separating with me, when I took the turbolift to the third floor and he proceeded to his classroom on the ground floor. This was his first lesson at independence. Ironically, the people he had to let go, even if it was just for a couple of hours per day, were those not fully independent themselves.

    My first day as a teacher went much better than the experience with the university students. Younglings don’t ask strange questions, they can’t wait to draw and paint. They see art in a non-pretentious way that adults are not capable of, most of the time. We care about how what we create is going to be perceived. They just spend time perceiving what they will later create. That’s the approach most of them will abandon once they become preoccupied with leaving their mark on the world.

    After four successful classes and a wonderful conversation with the other teachers, I took the stairs from the third floor to Anjie’s classroom. I can see some students were confused by it, but at least nobody connected my behaviour with any particular planet. That’s another thing I like about younglings of basic school age – the word Sacorria wouldn’t mean a thing to them! They didn’t ask anything about me, they were just waiting until I filled today’s lesson into the teacher’s journal, so they could draw the most memorable moment of their past vacation. That was a good day, or so it seemed.

    Anjie was not in his classroom when I went to pick him up. I went to the playground and found him crying in the corner of the limmie field, with all of his belongings scattered around him. A couple of other younglings were standing nearby, not reacting, as an older boy with unkempt hair picked an item from the ground and stepped on it.

    I ran to Anjie and hugged him. At first, the younglings warned me that the bully was dangerous, I guess they didn’t realise that I was a teacher. Once they did, they were suddenly brave and taunting the intruder.

    “Just stop! It’s not pr…it’s not okay!” I almost yelled. “What happened?”

    “He broke my toy quetarra!” Anjie pointed to the scruffy-looking youngling and I turned around to look at him. He must have been some 4-5 years older and he was definitely not going to Basic School #33. His mannerisms were different. He must have been from the Blue Sector!

    “That is because you didn’t have any money, kid.” The older boy casually kicked the largest shard of the former plastoid instrument. “Or, food, for that matter!”

    That was the kind of logic I never understood and could never subscribe to. Why beat somebody up because they had no money? What would have been the most progressive thing to do?

    As our old proverb back at home says, we should give them bread when they throw stones at us. And that is precisely what I did. I shook hand with the scruffy little bully and invited him to have a lunch with Anjie and me. Anjie was not too happy about this, but then I reminded him of everything I taught him about beings working on huge dust corn farms sharing their lunches with the wild animals of the steppe at the beginning of each harvest season. He nodded and reluctantly shook hands with the bully. Then we proceeded to the slider joint, the same one we used to eat after the summer classes.

    I commed Korgah on our way there and she joined us. She was delighted to hear from me, as if I had not seen her on the last summer class less than a week ago. Looks like inviting her to sit down with us was a good idea – she knew this bully. He’s roaming the streets of the Blue Sector and telling every person a different story about his whereabouts and origin and he seems to be working for a larger network of thieves.

    I looked at this poor soul. He was eating as if he never had any food. Sure, little Human boys are hungry. Anjie may be slightly thin, but he has a decent appetite and he knows where to stop. This boy doesn’t know when to stop and he’s taken some topato fries from my tray, too. It was only after four sliders and three large packs of fries that he looked up and graced us with something that vaguely resembled a smile.

    “What’s your name?” I asked him. He just shook his head and took a large sip of cola. What came out of his full mouth sounded like “Unf Mhhm”.

    Anjie giggled and burst into a spontaneous rendition of “Unf, unf, unf, unf, unf, unf”, clapping his hands.

    “Stop annoying me!” The boy threatened him, to which Anjie just shrugged and offered him half of his zherry pie. Another not-really-a-smile flashed on Unf-boy’s face, for about a second or two.

    Then he burped.

    Korgah told him that she could hand him over to the authorities at any given time and he stuck his tongue out at her. She then tried to take a different approach and told him pretty the same thing she told me – that his privilege is the ability to know where he came from and that we could help him find himself a warm home. He just shrugged it off, with the kind of cynicism I have never seen in a prepubescent child. He said that he does not care where he comes from, as long as he can eventually grow old enough to earn credits helping out at the spaceport and not through a network of muggers and beggars.

    I hugged the boy again. Unlike the first time at the playground, he pushed me away. He said that he was always alone and that he will always be alone. Then he asked if he could go to the refresher.

    Predictably, he didn’t come back. Korgah shook her head. She has seen it happen at least three times. The first time around, the boy was in tears and he was begging her not to take him to an orphanage; every next time he would be tougher. The only thing he was consistent about was his wish to make it to the shipyards of Saberhing someday. This is the toughest she has ever seen him. She added that those like him end up on the bottom of a fountain or under an archway. For some reason, I disagreed. Maybe it was, once again, my inability to grasp life outside of Sacorria, or maybe I just have a feeling that this little bully could make it in the world. I can never tell if I have some sort of intuition or if I’m just too idealistic sometimes.

    On our way home, as the repulsortrain swished through a former Selonian tunnel, Anjie started crying about his toy quetarra again, clutching a single piece of it in his little hands.

    “Know what, Anjie?” I tried to wink, but failed miserably. “My earnings from the summer classes are in and you have shown me you really understand all I have taught you since the day we met. I am going to buy you a new quetarra!”

    His face lit up. “A real quetarra?”

    I did not…I did not see that coming. But I could not possibly disappoint him. We went to Coronet City Conservatory of Music, looked around their handmade instruments store and came back home with a green quetarra. Now, if Anjie’s going to learn the Brave Banthas theme, I should probably jump out of the window.

    Or go back to the Gus Treta station and jump off it into the cold vacuum of space.

    So, that was my attempt to write a story for you. Except that it’s real. You can rule it out as a result of too much caf.

    <<LOCAL TIME: 22:48>>

    Blue Sector is the most dangerous area of Coronet.

    Saberhing is the shipyard planet of the Corellian Sector.

    As far as I’m concerned, there is cola in the GFFA. I DON’T WANT AN UNIVERSE WITHOUT COLA.
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    I feel immensely sheepish about having fallen behind on this ( [face_blush] )—going to do my best to remedy that right now. I'm first going to write down my review of no. 10, and once that's done I'll read and comment on no. 11 so as to be maximally surprised and amazed at the special cameo you mention. Of course, there hasn't been a chapter of this so far that didn't amaze me. :cool:

    10: Again, that mysterious namecode that's manifestly not "Lil" or even "Lidgrain"... [face_thinking]

    I can't blame Lil for taking such a long hiatus in recording his letters to Ranni, given how things have been going for him and how much he has to get used to. And just when he thinks he's finally gotten used to things (at least sort of), along comes yet another great big adjustment: Anjie's start of school! That will be as much a new era for Lil as for Anjie: the li'l (!) fellow has been his constant companion and his friend. In the meantime, this summer gig at the university looks... well, really something, is the best way I can put it. One of the most interesting things here is the students' reactions to the things about his homeworld that he so enthusiastically shares with them. I really kind of feel sorry for him for being mocked, and I wonder if it any way it will contribute to second thoughts on Lil's part about his own world and culture.

    (Incidentally, I'm so glad you and Pandora posted your DDC entries around the same time, because her most recent DDC entry treats some of the very same themes—first-time meeting between students and a teacher from a vastly different world. And you both take such different but equally effective approaches with those themes.)

    And we get more potentially prophetic art by Anjie, this time in a collaborative effort. The place (and the celestial bodies in the sky) seem familiar somehow. ;) Which shouldn't surprise me, given one of the collaborators...

    ...which brings me to the very fascinating Korgah, who—as we discussed elsewhere—shows every sign of being...

    a Dulok—and thus the painting is showing none other than her own lost homeworld, of which perhaps she has some very faint, subconscious memory. Just "images," as Leia said of her own memories of her mom. Is Korgah Force-attuned, too? I wonder what her name means in her language and why she was saying it just then.

    Her mysterious origins of course invite much speculation; I won't even try, but I imagine there is a whole fascinating story there. I love her advice to Lil to never forget that he has known origins, a known birthday, known parentage, a known homeworld—those are definitely not things to take for granted, however much one's attitude to them might change along the way (is that happening even with the Corell-vs.-Sacor slip? Are Lil and Korgah inverses that way?). Much [face_thinking] here, which is always good by me.

    11: And it begins! Another first day of school—and one of a very different kind, as Lil notes. But even if these younglings don't have preconceived notions that lead them to mock their teacher, it's not as though there won't be challenges of other kinds. Lil soon finds this out in the altercation between the older boy and Anjie, and interestingly enough it ends up being just as much a culture clash as anything he experienced with the college students, since he's still filtering everything through his Sacorrian-tinted glasses ("Why beat somebody up because they had no money? What would have been the most progressive thing to do?"—love it!). And poor fellow, I rather feel for him when his attempts to "give bread for stones" go almost hilariously awry; Korgah takes a somewhat more levelheaded and realistic approach, but even there one just has to acknowledge that there are some people in this Galaxy that one can't really do much for, or who have to take the plunge to do things for themselves.

    And yet... I'm guessing maybe Lil is on to something about this kid after all, because between the yearning for the Saberhing spaceyards and the generally scoundrelly behavior, I have a feeling I know who this "special cameo" is and what he will later amount to. [face_batting]

    And finally, I am almost certain we are witnessing a new and pivotal moment in Anjie's life with the gift of his first real quetarra. Here's to the beginning of great things! =D=
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_dancing] A special cameo indeed! Woohoo! Yay for Anji's first quetarra. :D
    Ewok Poet and Findswoman like this.
  6. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Thanks for reading! :)

    Well, shucks. Thank you. [face_blush] I'm doing my best...sort of. And I love it that you're adopting my how-to-review-when-not-up-to-date "system". :) It just guarantees more surprises!


    It does take a certain amount of time to process so.many.changes in one's life and Lil is adopting pretty fast, come to think of it.

    We'll see...

    I'm about three chapters behind on that, so I have not seen it yet, but I'll take a look soon.

    You're absolutely right about everything here, other than Korgah being Force-attuned. I didn't even think about that, but - most likely - she just has some vivid memories of her homeworld. :)

    I can only say "yes", because you're right. :)


    Anjie was, simply, born to be a quetarra player. ;)

    I guess this means you got it. ;) And yay, indeed. :)
    Findswoman likes this.
  7. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 12

    <<LOCAL TIME: 02:24>>

    Ranni, I’m concerned! Or maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion. Maybe all of that. Maybe nothing. Something else. I might as well just be stupid! I was stupid so many times before, and you know it…

    Gwynda has a boyfriend. His name is Lor Becq and he’s big on discipline. That’s what he said. That is how he introduced himself to me when he came to visit us today. He’s into Teras Kasi and some wacky non-violent take on lightsaber choreography that he calls “Jedi Training”. He’s released half a dozen of holovids which are mostly him and another Human Jedi fanatic fighting the air with imaginary lightsabers. They have their own dojo, sort of – it’s an abandoned dance hall in the Blue Sector, which is apparently one level upwards from Blobbo the Hutt’s cantina and the nightclub.

    That’s right, Lor met Gwynda at work. She brought him a drink and that’s how it started. He confided in her, told her about his failed marriage and two children and she used the opportunity to tell him pretty much everything about herself. See where I’m going with this? Get the holo? Misery loves company and this man can only make Gwyn more miserable. They are bonding over their past mistakes, over their joint hate of former spouses. I am not sure if I approve of this. It’s not like I had a relationship with anybody other than you – we are talking only about relationships I entered willingly here – but had there been somebody in my life before you, another muse, another lifeline, I would’ve most certainly not referred to her as scum, a lunatic or a phantom limb. That last one is really creative and it would have made me laugh hadn’t it been the word Lor used to describe his former wife. Is he grooming Gwyn into remarrying?

    The first time Lor visited us, he joined Gwynda and they came to pick Anjie and me from school. His speeder hovered close to the playground and Gwyn waved to us. He appeared to have asked her something – perhaps a question about my being Drall – but by the time Anjie and I approached the vehicle, he was sporting a mouthful of blindingly white teeth, grinning at the two of us. He patted the boy on the head and then remarked that his angleberry-blonde hair was probably going to darken by the time he hit puberty. He basically used the son to compliment the mother and bash the father and I thought it was in poor taste. The poor child just grinned and added that he is going to be like daddy. He is no longer referring to Aldo as daddy scum.

    For some reason, that whole discourse reminded me of the system back home. And I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Another thing I don't like is how dismissive Lor was of Anjie's quetarra playing. I am proud that the boy managed so much without a tutor and Lor claimed that he's not fast enough and that he needs to improve. He sees playing a musical instrument as a mean of becoming more disciplined and I see it as a form of art. He just does not understand what it means to live under constant, relentless oppression.

    It was only after this encounter that Gwynda confided in me and told me about her and Lor. And it took her about four more days to tell that to Anjie. Needless to say that the little one was terrified. His first reaction was flattering as much as it was frightening – he asked me if I could be his new daddy instead.

    The next thing I knew, Lor was everywhere. As if he…as if he feared that Gwyn would cheat on him. With me! A tiny furry youngling-minder. I thought about the irony of this all: I don’t understand why Gwyn is pretty, yet somebody is stalking me around Coronet, assuming I’m fatally attracted to her. How does Lor’s mind even work? Gwyn and I don’t sleep in the same room – mine is windowless, with only a vent on the ceiling, cave-like and very small. She’s in the large, luminous master bedroom, with Anjie…

    …I mean, she was. Anjie has been sleeping on the sofa in the den about every second night now. There were a couple of times he had nightmares, and each of those times I took him to my room and left the door open, so he would not be scared of such a dark place with no moonlight. I told him stories about Brave Banthas meeting his imaginary future girlfriend. Not sure how I even thought of something like that, but he loved it. He would often add his own characters to these stories and fall asleep babbling about the worlds that don’t exist and things that never happened. One of those stories scared me, though - a man with a mask was chasing him “through a maze of colours” and he “couldn’t fight back, because he had no proper arms”. That was frightening!

    Sometimes I truly wonder if our viewscreen content back on Sacorria was better for younglings. You know, the reruns of Karlina Yaihe shows…before she was mistress Trindello and had all those things done to her face and body.

    I talked to Borgiska about this – she told me that I should pack up and come live with her. She’s lonely. She does not want to die and not be found for days, weeks, months.

    I talked to Zizi about this, too. He suggested that we all go to a dinner together, so he could take a good look at Lor. I told him that I would not do this in a million years and he…he just went and booked us an eight-being table at NovaNova, out of all places! I don’t even want to think of how much this cost and how he paid for it.

    Korgah was stoked when I commed her to join us. She was slightly less enthusiastic when I told her that she was Zizi’s date, and not mine. Me, I went with Borgiska. She claimed that she had not left her apartment for about two years and suddenly, her fear of dying alone, made so much more sense.

    Lor snickered the moment he saw me, and asked me if I could have found myself a date that was not twice my age. Borgiska kept her head high, but I could hear poor Korgah sigh.

    The waiter, some kind of a near-Human, liked us a lot. She brought us six servings of cosmic rose shooters and said that it was on the house. By Sarcophagus, that thing was sweet! Borgiska refused to drink it, fearing that it would be too much for her old age. We got Anjie a non-alcoholic variant of the same drink, but, to my surprise, he ended up licking the remains of the original from his mother’s glass in the end. Should I be worried about this?

    Borgiska eventually fell asleep, which prompted Lor to make even more jokes about my choice in dates. In the end, when I was completely sure that there was no line for him to cross left, he asked how it feels like to kiss somebody with no teeth and if all of her was saggy. Zizi subtly grabbed my hand, in that “don’t do anything stupid” manner. But that Lor, how could he say something like that about a wise old woman? I…sure as Cor…Sac…whatever hope that Borgiska didn’t hear him! What a strange, rude being he is!

    If nothing else, he didn’t come home with us tonight. But this was not the end of my troubles. As Gwyn and I were having some ryoo tea, she said that Lor complained about me. I am not nice when he spots me at random places across the city. I was not nice tonight either, he said. He does not want to give me chances because I deserve none, he said. I’m just a loud-mouthed dissident from “wherever”. I’m apparently rude, too; because I don’t smile at his jokes.

    Can you even imagine this Ranni? You probably can, this was happening back at home and you know where it took us? Right, to our separation.

    And then, there is Korgah. She’s in love with me and I can see that. I don’t know what she is, but she gets upset even about Borgiska. Borgiska, out of all beings.

    I don’t want to do this to her.

    This business of unrequited love is getting to me, Ranni. I could not be with you in the limelight, for reasons that you thought were “right”. And now that somebody wants to be with me and I can see that from the edge of the Outer Rim…should I be pretending not to see it?

    Ranni, I if you were here, I would not have a problem saying this to your face: I don’t want her. The only one I have ever wanted is you. But she has never seen anybody who looked like her. She does not know what she is. She does not know where she is from. Her whole life is about hanging by an invisible thread, why should I keep her hanging on, too? If I give her a try, am I doing anything more than wish fulfilment and shedding the last bit of rebellion against Sacorria that I have in me?

    I’m going to regret this, most likely. Both the thing with Korgah and the thing with the…is there a nice word for him at this point?

    I must be very angry. I can see it by how fast I’m talking.

    <<LOCAL TIME: 02:40>>

    Karlina Trindello, formerly Karlina Yaihe is a former child star, now a cheesy actress and the wife of Yvar Trindello. Fanon.

    NovaNova is Legends-canon, I only thought this was a more hip way to spell it.
    Kahara, leiamoody and Findswoman like this.
  8. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh, oh, I'm worried about this... between this new beau (!) of Gwynda's and an apparent... crush developing on Korgah's part, I have a feeling that things are going to get VERY tense for Lil VERY soon. This Lor fellow (I sure hope that first name is only a coincidence...!) seems like distinctly bad news, with his possessive attitude toward Gwynda and his groundless suspicions of Lil. I know just what Lil means about people rushing into new relationships just to spite their previous spouses—and, like him, I don't get it at all!

    It's plain that these things are having an effect on Anjie, too... poor kid, this can't be easy on him, and on top of the general uncomfortableness of it all, the fact that he's also getting regularly booted from his usual sleeping space just adds insult to injury. :( I don't blame him for having those bad dreams—which, again, seem more than a little prophetic. [face_thinking] Good thing he has a comforting, friendly presence in his furry youngling-minder.

    Korgah's growing interest in Lil also seems like something he should be wary of, for some reason. I guess it's because she seems SO insistent and desperate about it, with the desperation born of her own lack of knowledge about her past and identity. Of course, the desperate search for identity is a major theme for Lil as well, albeit in a different form—but even so, it's very much the kind of desperation that can lead to people being—to quote a different story of yours—reckless. [face_nail_biting] Keep a cool head on your shoulders, Lil!
    leiamoody and Ewok Poet like this.
  9. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    100% correct.

    Yup, a complete coincidence. I like to assume it's one of the more common names.

    Anjie is a sensitive little boy. He's already been taken from one place to another, then he started school and got bullied and now everybody around him has bedfellows...:(

    Desperate is a perfect word to use here.

    And yes, THIS is reckless. Luke in that other story of mine isn't. Then again, he was trained not to be. He was not an implied spice abuser on a downwards spiral...
  10. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 13

    WARNING: Interspecies relationship involving only aliens. No Humans or near-Humans!

    <<LOCAL TIME: 11:40>>

    Waking up in Korgah’s bed in the Blue Sector was the strangest experience I have had on Corellia so far. There was a holo of her and her adoptive parents on the wall and I could see Treasure Ship Row through the window.

    And then, she came back to bed with a hovertray, wearing nothing but a skimpy petticoat. To be honest, as ugly as it may be to admit this, I noticed only the hovertray at first. This species of Korgah’s is sort of…androgynous. If this is how their females look like, their males can’t be much different. How do they know which is which?

    The hovertray almost brought me to tears. While I was thinking about not liking her body, not feeling anything after our night together and wondering what a male like her would look like, Korgah was in the kitchen, putting the elusive Sacorrian grey bear sausage on a piece of genuine, day-fresh bread from DustCornFarms Inc. She apologised for the bantha butter actually not being Sacorrian, because she couldn’t have made it through her connection in NovaNova, who would’ve been likely to have some. And then, she looked at me, her eyes full of love, while I ate all this. Nobody has ever served me a breakfast, apart from you, Ranni. Not even my own family. I’m not counting cantina lunches during that tedious and exhausting process of fitting into the Sacorrian machine…I mean, schooling.

    Once I was done, Korgah had her centuries-old housekeeping droid that had no single shiny spot on his body left direct the tray back to her kitchenette. She dropped the petticoat and snuggled up against me again. Then she asked me how it was.

    I…I didn’t know what to say.

    One thing I did not want to admit to myself at first is that I had not been missing the sensation. Not at all. All these days, I dreamed about spice and alcohol, much more than intercourse…because, being in bed with somebody other than you was an abstract thought that didn’t even occur to me. But Korgah, she loved every single second of it. She was…I can’t believe I’m telling you this, Ranni…she was kissing me as if her entire life depended on it. I was horrible, I just wanted it to be over. There was something awfully non-sentient about the way she behaved, something more similar to an animal mating than a sentient making love to another sentient. Awful, absolutely awful.

    I told her that I liked it. And then she compared me with six other men she slept with. Three of them were Human, one was Selonian, one Bimm and one Bothan. She believes that the last one must have been a security agent of some sorts. I don’t know that species, but she claims they look very suspicious. And they all liked her feistiness, she said.

    Then she asked me to spit it out and confess how many lovers I had. Took me a while to answer. And then, I felt like a typical male for the first time in many years. I could not have possibly revealed my number of partners to her and I’m not even sure why. I said that I was quite popular with women and that I never bothered to remember their names. She asked me about interspecies relationships on Sacorria being frowned upon and I responded that all my one-night-stands and girlfriends were Drall. Now, that one wasn’t a lie, right, Ranni?

    Korgah was impressed and, deep inside, what I wanted was for her to hate me and think I’m nothing but a nerf herder. She said that she would jealously keep me away from those who want me and that, the first time she saw me, she knew I was the one. I asked her how does she know and her tiny bird skull bracelet kept on jiggling, as she cackled on and on. She claims this is written in the stars, though she has no idea where her own reasoning came from.

    I keep on wondering what this is for. She cannot start a family with me. I’m twice her age. But she adores me and says that, once she’s done with her studies for this semestre, she will take me to Nubia, to meet her family. And then, the next school year, we can rent an apartment in the Orange Sector, so I could visit Borgiska and the Mencuris as often as I want to. She thinks Lor owns a better one and that, who knows, I may be able to keep the one we currently live in, should he choose to take Gwyn and Anjie in.

    Planning ahead. A 20-year-old girl is planning ahead. I’m a 40-year-old man and I never planned a thing in my entire life.

    I walked back home. Took me about an hour, which seemed too long and not long enough. The blue sector just transitioned into the orange somehow, as I was walking. Run down old buildings gave way to the new, planned housing. And I realised that I don’t feel like I belong in either of these two places. The blue looks more like home, the Orange feels more like home. And the downtown skyline is so strange. But that has nothing to do with anything other than my personal defeats, my inability to adopt to the Corellian kind of common, Corellian kind of…normal.

    Anjie was waiting for me in front of the building, with a new friend he made. They wanted to show me this tree in the nearby park, they were absolutely sure that it was “haunted”. These days, he’s playing outside a lot and I’m glad that he’s making friends. I wouldn’t want him to be like I was at his age, he’s a fragile youngling and he needs love.

    The tree, it was just like any other tree. Apparently, an apex, and those tend to grow in all directions at once. I could only smile broadly at Anjie and his friend’s imagination. This is why I always loved younglings. They both hugged me and then asked for angleberry ice cream. I had them buy three from the Muun seller hovering on what seemed to have been a modified swoop bike.

    And that taste, brings back so many memories. I’m pretty sure I had these berries at some point in my life, even though the Book of Law’s article on forbidden foodstuffs had them listed and claimed that they had never found their way to Sacorria. They’re sweet and intoxicating, but not in the way spice and alcohol would be, rather in an innocent, younglingish way.

    We ended up playing limmie in the street for a while, with four other younglings. An older boy from the neighbourhood, a sturdy Selonian, said that I’m a pretty good forward. Me? I felt like there was a small victory to this day, after all. I never scored a goal as a child, nobody ever wanted to assist me, they all wanted to be heroes themselves, or whatever. This was exciting, Ranni. Far more exciting than giving Korgah a try and I guess I should be ashamed to admit that, but I’m not. I’d rather be a part of younglings’ limmie squad, than a lover-man.

    At some point, Gwyn leaned on the bedroom window and I could swear that she wore a petticoat very similar to Korgah’s. Did they go shopping together or something? And is Lor into those things? Because I’m most certainly not. I don’t even know how to ask any of them if they just had a thought about buying expensive lingerie together! Remember that one time I asked you about…wait, what was it called?

    The trouble with days like this is that I’m not sure if I’m redeemable or not. I don’t know if I’m a success or a failure. I hate hanging out in the middle, in the mist of uncertainty, under the cloak of things that are not easily-defined.

    I hope I get some answers and I hope I get them soon.

    <<LOCAL TIME: 12:27>>

    You have a really, really odd concept of romantic love going on...Lil. You love to suffer, don't you? I make bizarre decisions every day and every night...yes, even in my sleep, but this just...this just makes no sense. If your heart is broken, why would you go out of your way to break somebody else's heart? Moreover, can't you draw the line at going to bed with somebody whose species you're certain about? She could have actually been violent, feeding on you like those, whatever they're called...

    Yes, everything is fine! I am just not sleepy, yet. I will keep it quiet.

    Kriffin' corridor ghoul, that blonde...

    Sacorrian grey bear sausage is entirely made-up. And yeah, it's meant to sound nasty.

    DustCornFarms Inc. are one of the state-owned Sacorrian corporations. Made-up, of course.

    Apex trees are from Ska Gora

    Book of Law stands for the Sacorrian Book of Law, which I need to elaborate in my fanon entry. And yes, the pun is one of my rare attempts of sarcasm.
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    WHOA. I don't often say "O_O," but I do now... in fact, I say "O_____O."

    Looks very much like Lil did not keep a cool head on his shoulders after all. :oops: So many questions here: what in the Galaxy possessed him to have this one-night stand—especially given (a) the discomfort he expressed about Korgah's attentions in the previous entry, and (b) all his blather about how he'll never love anyone but Ranni and doesn't want anyone else but her? (Which didn't seem like blather before, but does now.) I could understand it better if he had started out all hot to trot and then was disappointed, but Lil went into this not feeling right about it, so how can he be totally surprised at how awful he felt afterward? And what to make of the fact that by telling all about it here he's essentially confessing it all to Ranni? Kind of brazen, in a way, but also, does he think he's somehow doing that sort of thing out of love for her? If so, he really does have a bizarre idea of what love is, as the mysterious commenter at the end notes.

    Korgah's idea of love is pretty darn messed up, too. She clearly wants a nerf-herder type, and that's where Lil's lie backfires: he's telling that lie because he thinks it will turn her off to him (because the idea of it clearly turns him off), but it has the exact opposite effect. And just the whole approach of jumping into bed with someone on such short acquaintance seems like not a very wise plan, but maybe that's just me being a mother avian or a prude or something. :p

    It's nice that he gets some quality time with Anjie and his friends after that... intensely uncomfortable experience. Woot on food and tastes bringing back memories—and the berry ice cream sounds much tastier than Proust's famous madeleine, too! (I'm imagining a sort of açaí berry flavor for some reason.) There has got to be some kind of story behind why that "forbidden" food tastes so familiar. Ditto between why Gwynda and Korgah are wearing the same lingerie, though that might just be down to local fashion. Though you got me curious about what "that one time I asked you about…wait, what was it called?" might mean. [face_thinking]

    And speaking of points of curiosity, there's that anonymous, mysterious voice commenting at the end again. Making good points, I might add. And this seems to be one of the more revealing instances of this happening, because the person is talking to someone else, too, and mentions "that blonde" (presumably meaning the person he talked to)... So we now know that it's someone associated with, well, a blonde. That really narrows it down! :p

    (Just as an aside: I think I know which "violent" alien he's referring to: the H'nemthe. You know you're a SW aliens geek when... :-B )
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  12. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    I am absolutely sorry that I freaked you out here. But I warned you beforehand. This said, if I freaked out anybody else, I'm sorry, too!

    Regarding the last sentence - he might or might not be thinking in some weird, bizarre logic...such as, that if he gets together with Korgah, Ranni, whom he hasn't seen in such a long time, can go on with her life? And given his somewhat insulting approach to Korgah as a person, maybe he thinks he doesn't deserve better?

    Either way, his thought patterns are abnormal.

    He isn't able to understand love the way most others would. But sure, for the mysterious commenter, who probably IS able to figure out how things work, it's a surprise.

    She did it with five other individuals of various species, so...seems like she would shy your concerns away. And yeah, writing that was bizarre enough to begin with, but I pushed myself, it worked and I guess...I'm proud?!

    From absolute adultery to absolute innocence!

    I never tried those, now I have to.

    And that madeleine didn't come to mind, either - GREAT point. :)

    That's another thing I was going ewww, ewww, ewww at while writing it. O_O

    As for the latter, it could be anything from how breasts work to birth control. :p

    Wise, that random stranger is.

    That would also imply that maybe, maybe, the other people present wherever-that-person-is are not blonde and that the blonde is rare for some reason. :p

    I actually had nothing in mind while writing this, but that! Preying mantis species with religious reasons. Thanks for teaching me something new. If I ever need to dispose of nerf herders, I know where they're going.
    Findswoman likes this.
  13. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 14

    <<<NAMECODE: *****>>>
    <<LOCAL TIME: 24:26>>

    This time next week, I will have been here for a year, Ranni. And for some reason, I have a bad feeling about this. A bad feeling that keeps me awake and away from the place I call home, away from the two people whom I have been sharing my troubles with.

    I’m sitting at the teachers’ lounge at work in the middle of the night, wondering why on Sacorria, Corellia or whatever other planet did I ask for answers. Did I really want any? The amount of answers I got is frightening, hard to swallow at once and the worst thing about it…err…it opens the blast door to more questions and requires searching for even more answers. I hate this, Ranni!

    Gwyn changed jobs. She is now the chief of staff at NovaNova, out of all places. And by what she told me, this happened between our lunch there and my night at Korgah’s. The explanation she served to me first – pun perfectly intended, thank you very much – was that the waiter who liked us a lot talked to her about it and that she had an interview. Sure I would have known about this interview? She still tells me everything whenever Lor is not sleeping at our home. This is just too important to miss. I am pretty sure that she lied to me and that no interview took place.

    For the first two weeks or so, I was trying to convince myself that everything was like normal. I wake up in the morning. I take Anjie to school. I teach my classes and feel progressive about it. I join Zizi for lunch at the school caf’terie. I attend whatever teacher meetings there are and an occasional parent may or may not drop by to ask me about their youngling’s grades. They mostly don’t, nobody seems to be caring about art these days. I pick Anjie up and we either head home or meet up with Korgah at the slider joint. Sometimes, Lor picks Anjie up, which I hate because I don’t know what he’s like with the youngling, and because Korgah then takes me home and I have to pretend I’m delighted to make love to her. She always surprises me with something genuinely Sacorrian. She is even starting all her messages and comm calls with “prog” now. I am not sure if she’s trying to impress me, if it’s visible that I’m not really there when I’m next to her, or that she has the kind of an identity that can further be bent, shaped, precast into whatever she wants to be.

    Wait, I was talking about the routine? I may sleep at Korgah’s for the night if I’m sure that Anjie will be fine without me, but most of the times, I go back home because more than one lovemaking session with Korgah within 25 hours is a torture and her idealistic views of me are just not the way I see myself and not the way I see my idealism.

    But the routines don’t sit well with me. I started avoiding Korgah, with an excuse that I’m playing dejarik with Borgiska. I shall not go in the details of dejarik being so much different from what we’re used to and that I had to learn it all over again, but in reality, I spent most of the time with Anjie, listening to him play Kriff Blasters on quetarra. I am confused by that wailer-group, but Anjie adores them. They have this song titled Force Save the Chancellor and it’s sort of funny, but abrasive at the same time. The album is called Ignore the Spuds. And, what impresses me most is that my little boy can play the whole thing, straight to finish! All eleven songs on the original edition…plus the twelfth song from the Core Worlds special edition! Just how intuitive is he? Brilliant! I thought he had a talent for painting, but that may have been a bias on my behalf, he’s born to be a wailer!

    Sure, that sounded okay? But I messed it up. Again!

    You would probably hate me, Ranni.

    So, yes, yesterday morning…I had another slip and from that point on, I started fearing everybody. This time, I just stopped a slythmonger on my way home from Korgah’s, desperate about not having any answers and this time, I picked something called rokna blue. It just reminded me of the word Korgah was repeating in her sleep. I was instructed not to take too much of it and I am pretty sure that I didn’t…

    …but nevertheless, whatever effect is this supposed to have on other species, it creates nothing but pure depression in us Drall. I ended up calling in sick and waking up when it was already dark. I got out of my windowless room, sat down next to Gwynda and Anjie, who both wondered if I had caught some sort of a virus from my students and just stared at the viewscreen for a while. And then I got even more depressed. For some reason, only a single bulletin was aired today and I am not sure how this will be presented at home, but I see it as grim beyond belief. They said that the Jedi have betrayed the Republic and attempted to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine. Somebody called ‘Maise Windy’ is presumed dead, while Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar and Saesee Tiin were killed by the Chancellor himself in an act of self-defence. Anakin Skywalker – that’s a nice name – is missing. Coruscant…I cannot believe I’m even saying this, it sounds so surreal…is under martial law and the Jedi Temple is burning, under a military lockdown. Jedi are now the enemy of the Republic.

    A part of me is frightened. Sure, Corellia is far away from Coruscant, relatively speaking, and we’re under that “meditative silence”, but still, I wouldn’t want a war here. Wasn’t there a temple somewhere in the city, in the past? Or is Lor making things up again?

    The other part of me, however, is wondering how Lor is feeling right now. If Jedi are frowned upon now, then his little obsession is surely not a good idea?!

    Anjie seemed to be upset with this news. This may have been the effect of Lor brainwashing him, or maybe he just idolised Jedi more than, say, limmie stars. Gwynda swallowed a lump as well. Why are they so worried about Lor, all of the sudden? Lor is just a wannabe, it’s not like he’s capable of anything. Something strange is going on here and I don’t get it.

    Following all of this, earlier today – whoops, it’s yesterday already - at school, I wasn’t my usual self. The rokna did wear out, but…I remained unnaturally worried and depressed. I checked my eyes in the ‘fresher mirror. I tried to walk on the line on the corridor floor. I am definitely sober. I just couldn’t stop thinking about what could have got Gwynda to change her job and I guess my preoccupation with that is the way to deal with this relationship that isn’t going anywhere and the fact that martial law may arrive to the Sector any given day now.

    Zizi helped me put the holocubes together during the lunch break. Or at least I think so. We searched HoloNet to see who actually owns NovaNova and…guess what, it was Blobbo the Hutt! The one who hired Gwyn in the first place!

    I hope Blobbo and Lor don’t have…plans for Gwynda. And…I can’t even say what I mean by “plans”, the sole thought of it scares me.

    Are Human women ever sold into this kind of…service?

    Should I be looking out for the likes of Tiodre Geelmen?

    Instead of going home, I stayed here, to do some supposed research for history of art classes. But instead of it, I locked myself here in the office and I commed Jax Pavan. He wasn’t returning my calls. Then I commed Dale and he said that I’m being paranoid. According to him, Blobbo probably wanted a beautiful woman as a chief of staff because NovaNova’s been suffering some losses without its rich clientele from outside the Corellian Sector. That would sound like a logical explanation, but still, how would hiring a beautiful woman break all these boundaries set by Garm Bel Iblis’ response to the Clone Wars? Should I take a teenager seriously on this matter? He probably wants every single woman he sees at this point in his life and sees everything through the lens of physical attraction.

    Perhaps I should just stop thinking and go home. Or take a sonic here and sleep on the futon in the parents’ waiting room. I suddenly don’t feel safe and I don’t even know why. Does that make me a coward or is it all the spice I used over the years?

    Ugh. I so hope the surveillance droids did not hear the last sentence!

    <<LOCAL TIME: 01:50>>

    Caf'terie is a last-minute fanon word, because a school can't have a tapcaf or whatever.

    Kriff Blasters, their album Ignore the Spuds and their song Force Save the Chancellor should be very lame and very obvious RL-references. :p
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  14. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    At this point, I almost don't blame Lil for regretting that he found the answers to his questions, because look where they're leading! If Blobbo the Hutt owns NovaNova (which I know as the title of a medieval Christmas song...), then Gwynda's new job there can't be good news—of course, the fact that she was obviously fibbing about interviews, etc. already raises no small red flag. Like Lil, I wonder if the timing was totally coincidental, and I sure hope she'll be OK. [face_nail_biting]

    Add to that this breaking news of the Jedi situation. Of course we Earth readers know the true nature of who's running the Republic at this point—but I could see where many citizens of the Galaxy would be just as confused and nonplussed as Lil is right now; Contemplanys hermi isn't going to stop a certain species of Sithy, sheevy politician for long. :s And I want to say that Lil (and Lor) are not mistaken about the sometime existence of a Corellian Jedi temple... I'm not sure whether there's anything in official sources covered the fate of that temple during the prequel era, but the prospect does seem pretty darn grim.

    And on top of all this, Lil's still entangled with this Korgah person. Ugh, the way she's putting on this Sacorrian act sounds just insufferable—and I can only imagine it would be more so to Lil, given how he's been gradually finding out about his homeworld's flaws. Part of me says that the sooner Lil can get up the guts to break it off with her, the better. Part of me, though, feels kind of sorry for her—her clingy attitude no doubt stems from insecurity and from her own lifelong lack of belonging. So I guess we shall see. Perhaps she still has some important role to play. [face_thinking]

    Yep, Anjie is born to be a wailer, all right. Pretty amazing talent there—what a kid! =D= And I'm sure later he'll look back with pride and joy on the combination nanny, mentor, and friend long ago who started him down that path. :D

    (By the way: I'm guessing it's only a coincidence that Lor shares a first name with Mr. L. S. T. of TFA fame? That's something I've been meaning to ask since he was introduced.)

    Once again I'm going to advise Lil to keep a cool head on his shoulders and keep his wits about him, though in a much different way than before. He might want to take Obi-Wan's advice to Elan S. concerning those drugs, too—that kind of thing + the Galaxy's current political situation has got to = a dangerous combination. Simultaneously [face_nail_biting] and :cool: !
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  15. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Another thing I had no idea of. Then again, I don't think there was a chance of my researching medieval Christmas songs to begin with! XD

    Absolutely. :(

    This was not mentioned. I hope I didn't lead you on or anything. Lor is a wannabe Jedi, which implies that the said temple is long, long gone and that there are hipster types who think Jedi training would be some sort of a martial arts thingy.

    I bolded what's 100% important for her, and pretty much Lil himself.

    I'll be shallow here.

    Anjie! [face_love][face_love][face_love]

    You actually asked already and the answer was that yes, it's a coincidence. :) I was going for odd spellings of actual RL names, or whatever was similar to them.

    If only Elan S. hadn't relapsed. :( I was not surprised to read that he did, in what I believe was his Legends bio. Drugs are a powerful enemy of everybody and everything. :(
    Findswoman likes this.
  16. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 15


    Remember how I had a bad feeling about this, Ranni? Well, I was right - it all came crashing to the ground, pretty much like it always does. It’s me after all. There is one difference from the usual, though: somebody, most likely Them - the Sacorrian Triad themselves - have put a pretty bounty on my head.

    I did actually spend the night on that futon, showered at school’s gymnasium and checked on Anjie right before the classes started. He asked me if I was at Korgah’s and I said yes. Then he accused me of lying to him. He almost cried. Apparently, Korgah was looking for me and, on top of it, she spent the night sleeping at Borgiska’s, refusing to leave. I managed to convince him that everything’s fine and that I got carried away reading on all the things that were not readily available to read back at home and I promised that I would take him for sliders, play limmie with him and get us angleberry ice cream. And I did. We had a wonderful day together and Gwynda and Korgah recorded Anjie and me singing Force Save the Chancellor - he and I were wearing their stupid petticoats and Lor’s pseudo-Jedi robes.


    I woke up in my room next to Korgah, on a school holiday. We turned on the small viewscreen and there was no normal programme once again. Instead of it, they aired a broadcast from the Senate. Thousands of senators were applauding Chancellor Palpatine as he declared himself the Emperor. The news anchor – I could swear she was a Zeltron yesterday, today it was a baseline Human – she ended the report by saying “Long live the Galactic Empire”.

    Korgah noticed the same thing I did – that Palpatine looked different. Sure, he wasn’t that Count Dooku that Gwyn admitted swooning over, but now he looks like he’s over 200 years old and I wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley. Just what could have happened to him?

    Speaking of the said Dooku, he’s dead. So are all of the Separatists. They were found dead on a volcanic planet close to the edge of the known Galaxy.

    How come that everybody other than Palpatine himself didn’t live?

    If I was the Force, I would not be saving this man. There is something strange about him. Not that politicians were ever likeable to begin with – except you, Ranni – but he is scarier than Roula of Pelayn herself. And yes, I have weird criteria for what a politician is. And, just like Roula herself, he seems to be eager to get rid of anybody who disagrees with him. For real. All Force-sensitives…in my understanding, those are Jedi-like beings who did not become Jedi, they will be prosecuted, for their ties with the Jedi. Or so the rumour goes, according to this blabber-show that aired after the bulletin.

    I sat down to eat with Anjie, Gwyn and Korgah. I suggested that we invite Borgiska to join us and she accepted it. We tried to discuss what was going on, but she advised us not to. I didn’t understand why and she shook her head, saying that there are only so many things that a Sacorrian could understand about politics. I am not sure what she was getting at.

    Anjie wanted to take a bath. I promised to take care of that, as Borgiska’s remark made me feel unwanted. I didn’t even want to have a caf with them.

    Just as the women were about to have caf, somebody buzzed at the door. A Theelin woman with orange hair. She was looking for me. I heard Gwyn say that “my ex was looking for me” and, while Korgah was throwing some sort of a jealous fit, I hugged Anjie one last time, told him to just sit there and pretend nothing has happened…then-then I jumped through the bathroom window, then climbed the nearby tree.

    Regardless of what I have said about Gwyn previously, she’s incredible. She knew what to say in order to let me know that I was in danger and use Korgah, whom I lied about those numerous girlfriends, as a distraction.

    For, you see…the Theelin woman was a bounty hunter. Looking for me!

    What happened next was a blur – I hid in dumps near Korgah’s home and ended up sharing a hole I dug for myself with the boy who once bullied Anjie. I gave him some credits to find Korgah and have her bring me at least some of my belongings. That was risky, he could’ve just run away with it. But somehow, he didn’t. I ended up having a shower at Korgah’s, as she had the boy sneak into Gwyn’s home and fill a backpack with everything he could find in my room. Apparently, Gwyn saw him get out, or so she thinks, as she was calming down Anjie, who was crying. If nothing else, the Theelin woman left them alone. And nothing, I repeat nothing was missing from my backpack. In fact, there was an extra: Borgiska’s caf table book about arts. I was close to asking the boy, who still uses a different name each time he speaks to me, to return it, but Korgah ensured me that she’ll buy Borgiska a new one.

    The boy had a stolen comm and he managed to get Zizi at school for me. Zizi had an answer to this, which explained a lot, among other things, how he paid that expensive dinner at NovaNova.

    This will be heavy, Ranni.

    Before we even knew who owned NovaNova, Zizi applied to entertain the guests there. He never told me about his mandoviol for some reason, but he has one and he calls it Midnight Princess. I guess I won’t get to hear him sing in this life, but still, I wish he would have told me about it before, he could have practiced with Anjie. Either way, he entertained Blobbo the Hutt and his henchmen, as well as many important guests, night after night and it was after that waiter, the same Theelin woman who ended up being the bounty hunter looking for me, brought us drink after drink that he got suspicious. Sure, he is not alcohol-sensitive, so I guess he may have seen something that made him cautious. Maybe I mentioned you? By your full name? Either way, despite my disguise, somebody figured me out.

    The next thing that happens, Blobbo offers Gwyn a promotion. Initially, she refused and she was, according to Zizi’s source, a NovaNova employee, reluctant to accept it and said that she would like to go back to singing someday, or even something that resembled her job as a young woman on Hapes. But Blobbo presented her with what was essentially a blackmail – he said that something extreme was in the works and that he knew about Anjie. I’m not sure what was there to know about Anjie, other than that his parents are divorced, but I doubt that Blobbo had a connection with Aldo Mencuri and that he was to take Anjie back to Naboo. There had got to have been something far, far worse. This source then told Zizi that Gwynda was suspicious about trading what was apparently her child’s safety for a new job, as the set-up seemed quite bizarre.

    The next thing everybody at NovaNova knew, Blobbo the Hutt's henchmen were searching Coronet high and low for a Drall male with Sacorrian accent. Bribing people. This one Selonian sent Zizi a comm message to tell me that they offered him credits in exchange for information and gave a description that matched the one of me. Zizi, bless his heart, offered him more credits not to tell anybody anything. This is where he should have told me about it, but he thought it was a random occurrence, something irrelevant to anybody outside of Corellia.

    But he couldn’t have stopped it. Nobody has more credits than Blobbo the Hutt and, whoever offered him an enormous amount of credits to send bounty hunters after me, eventually located me, even with my name and my disguise. And then, Blobbo decided that the best possible moment to catch me was this new, uncertain situation, where everybody was encouraged to report everybody else, for alleged connections with the Jedi. He apparently invited Gwynda to his throne room and told her that he would tick on Lor, regardless of how harmless his Jedi obsession was. She objected and she was told that both Anjie and Lor would be “taken care of” unless she assists in handing me over to the Sacorrian Triad.

    Following this, Blobbo…he sent this woman, her name is Latts Razzi, after me. This is where Gwynda reacted the way she did. Sure, she never knew more about me than the story I shared with her on Gus Treta, but she knew that I had nobody other than you before Korgah. Therefore, an “ex” was a clear sign and, thank Sacor, I understood it.

    And she somehow got away with it. And got this Latts Razzi in trouble. While she had to explain herself to Blobbo, I had just enough time to have the scoundrel boy pick some of my belongings, this conversation with Zizi and some thirty minutes after I told him goodbye, Korgah made me some food. I managed to evade her animal-like kiss and we just shook hands. I asked her to tell Gwynda to take good care of little Anjie, he’s a fragile, sweet youngling who may be too good for this cruel world. And I asked her, no, I begged her to make sure that she visits Borgiska at least once per week. I wanted to tell her to tell Zizi to leave Corellia, as Blobbo would figure him out sooner or later, but Dale Pavan was waiting in his speeder. I said one last goodbye to Korgah and the boy-of-many-names and hopped in.

    Jax waited for us at the spaceport. He arranged himself a trip to Talfaglio and then, on his return, he’s going to drop me at whatever planet he thinks I’ll be safe at. The route to Talfaglio is surprisingly slow, for some reason, makes me wonder if this is some barely known smugglers’ lane. What is Jax doing for life, anyway?

    And where am I going, Ranni?

    Is there any question that won’t lead me to a whole starfield of new questions?

    Is there any being whose life I won’t change for worse?

    Is there a place for me in the world of the living?


    That was such a lucky escape. And I know something about lucky escapes! And I can see how Mencuri ended up as messed up as he is. This Drall was almost like a foreshadowing, next to pointing the Man-Cure to his future profession.

    Now, if General Han Solo makes it, it would be funny if somebody ever asked him about helping this li'l Lil. It can't be anybody other than him! The street kid screams "I'm Han Solo!"

    Latts Razzi previously appeared in The Clone Wars. She indeed is Theelin and a bounty hunter.

    Talfaglio is a planet in the Corellian Sector.
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  17. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    OK, as soon as I saw the datapad's "ARE YOU IN SPACE?" query, I developed a bad feeling about this, too! But I see Anjie himself anticipated that feeling in that very Anjie way of his. He's a perceptive little fellow; it's no surprise Lil's white lie about where he spent the night backfired, given how closely he's latched onto him. But it says much for Anjie's all-around good nature that the next thing that happens is a humorous costume-plus-singing session! This development with the bounty on our hero's head is exceedingly distressing. Kudos to both Gwyn, Zizi, and Lil on their quick thinking and decisive behavior too—and kudos too to the street boy for aiding Lil and not just taking those credits—he was a real angel there (in the sense of a messenger who's there at the exact right time and place). I am guessing the unexpectedly thrown-in art book will end up having some significance later.

    So now Lil is off to Talfaglio, which I am guessing was Jax's choice of planet. And from what I read about its being the least-populated planet in the Corellian system, it seems like a good choice. I feel so sorry for him, having so suddenly to run off into this unknown "starfield of questions," away from his friends and this newfound family of his, who will no doubt remember him fondly. Though I'm sure he'll see them again, and I'll hold out hope that someday he'll get to hear Zizi sing and play. @};-

    Now this Blobbo blackmail business... I won't lie, this fills me with dread and hints at something very sinister at work here. Given the state of Galactic politics at the moment, I have a guess about what it is he knows about Anjie; how he could have figured that out if he never knew Aldo, now, that's something I'm less sure of; ditto how that would lead to a bounty on Lil's head. Could Lil himself be somehow unwittingly responsible for revealing... something... to the wrong people? [face_nail_biting]

    I have a few slightly more solid guesses now about the second voice at the end; in any case, I think he's guessed right about the identity of the street boy. ;) It's cool too to see the person imputing a prophetic role to Lil himself in foreshadowing Anjie's future profession, much in the same way I've been imputing a certain gift of prophecy to Anjie himself! Well, who says that kind of foreshadowing can't be mutual, both-at-once instead of either-or? :D
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  18. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    He's a sweet child, the world did not get to corrupt his sensitive soul yet. We'll see what happens. I'm pretty sure he will be a confusing adult, but there are a couple of folk who can help him out. ;)

    Dyeke is a character from my other story...I'm pretty sure you meant Zizi. :) And yes, Zizi is a champion! Imagine being twenty-five, pretty balanced to begin with despite own heartbreak (that Lil could've paid more attention to, really...) and dealing with a fifteen years older repulsortrain wreck waiting to happen.

    The boy has this talent for being in the right place at the right time.

    Actually, no.

    He arranged himself a trip to Talfaglio and then, on his return, he’s going to drop me at whatever planet he thinks I’ll be safe at.

    But what you just pointed out sure spawns some three-eared plot bunnies, OMG. Thanks. :)

    Starfield of that! :)

    As for hearing Zizi play, we'll see.

    He likely gave himself out, but as far as the rest is concerned, I doubt it.

    And your guess is probably correct and it's perfectly OK to say it. :)

    This should be clear VERY soon. As for the latter, it's a chain of foreshadowings and it's fun to guess who may have actual abilities and who was just guessing and assuming things. :)
    Findswoman likes this.
  19. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 16

    <<LOCAL TIME: 20:20>>

    Ranni, I’m safe. Lost, but safe. I think! One planet further from home, one thousand more dreams shattered and, once again, a handful of pieces lost. Once again, I have to rebuild my life, just after I started enjoying what I had. I should have appreciated it more. I had a family, sort of. I had a new girlfriend, sort of. I had a job! And I most certainly had friends. Now I have nothing.

    If nothing else, I am on our homeworld. The place we originated from. Drall. Jax determined that Razzi, or whomever else Blobbo sends after me, won’t be looking for me here. The clans are strong, the climate is arid…his explanations are so bizarre to me. Is he just trying to comfort me, or what?

    After all these stories we were told about it in Drall History classes, I’m here to see if for myself. Sure, you’ve been here a couple of times, you’re a major grain fly and all, but there is no others’ experience that could be comparable to our own. Right?

    I feel like I…I feel like I cannot breathe. The first impression of the almost-legendary homeworld that we were never allowed to talk about, is nowhere near stellar. At this point, I don’t know if it was our families’ occasional yearning to live in a place where they’re not controlled and therefore assuming that Drall was heaven, or if it’s the fact that we were so indoctrinated that everything we were told about other planets was a fairy-tale? You know, like that thing with Naboo not existing, while it...most certainly exists?

    The first thing that hit me like a tidal wave was the soaring heat. I’m used to wearing some clothes, as most of us Sacorrian Dralls are. But this place…one just cannot wear more than a waistbag, like younglings in the summer. And for some reason, I felt bashful. It’s not like anybody is going to see anything – we’re a species with prominent gender dimorphism: female Drall like you are beautiful, male Drall like me, especially when this short, are laughable. It’s just that I feel like I was sent into some sort of a giant orgy type of a thing. First, Corellia took my beliefs for a spin and they were shattered in a vortex of complete confusion, and now I’m supposed to streak, like a pre-school dralling?

    When I landed at the spaceport close to Mastigophorous – just how pretentious of a name is that, really – I noticed that the said city in the distance was housed in a transparisteel dome. Apparently, it’s one of the rare locations on the planet commonly visited by foreigners, you know, like Dorthus Tal and the duty-free area of Saccorata back at home, and therefore, they had to make it more likeable to an offworlder. Now, the only thing we need is somebody to commence orbital bombardment inside of the dome and everybody’s dead! R-right? How come that we’re the only planet in the sector aware of safety setbacks like this? Why is everybody else so ridiculous?

    I was asked if I would take a repulsortrain to Mastigophorous. The city seemed, like, less than 10 km away. Do these beings care about their weight? Do they ever think about saving some credits? I muttered that I would walk. The repulstortrain pilot looked at me with this strange facial expression. A couple of locals laughed. The first being to approach me introduced herself as Marcha and asked me if I was from Sacorria, Corellia or one of the twin worlds. I told her to make a rough guess. She couldn’t! Is that a plus, or a minus, Ranni? Am I now a credible citizen of the Galaxy?

    I guess not. Especially because of what I did next. I was so proud of my own immersion or whatever you could call it, so I ended up completely ignoring her advice to take the kriffin’ repulsortrain.

    Once out of the domed space, I realised just how hot it was. There was something resembling smoke evaporating from the ground, I swear! Worse than Saccorata that other summer, yuck! And no water anywhere. If I didn’t die this time, I am going to be immortal, or something. Not a bad idea, Ranni, I could hunt down Roula and the other two self-proclaimed puppets.

    Mastigophorous seemed further and further the more I walked. Not that this doesn’t normally happen with everything in my life…but I guess I underestimated the distance once again. Familiar from somewhere, Ranni?

    Somehow, I got into a village called Meccha and sat down in the first tapcaf I found. It was about time - I was close to passing out from the heat! I have been sitting there since, trying to process everything that has happened. No idea when they close. Maybe they will let me fall asleep here or something.

    Maybe they will, I don’t know, accept me?! I’m yearning for acceptance, Ranni. Gwynda’s new boyfriend caught me by surprise and she was about to accept me. Zizi accepted me for the second time, regardless of everything I have ever done. And Anjie…don’t get me started about that wonderful child. I see a bit of my younger self in me – shy, in love with the world but poodoo-scared of it at the same time. He’s creative, too. He can learn any music on that quetarra effortlessly. Hope they send him to the conservatory. Or the art studies. Or both. And keep him away from the typical artists, their parties, alcohol and spice. He has an addictive personality, but he’s too gentle. I would not want him to end up like me. In fact, whatever powers may be at works in the universe, I would appeal to them to spare that child from any kind of addiction.

    Staff at the school, Borgiska, workers at the slider joint…I miss them all. I even miss Lor and that little street pronk who never told me his name.

    At least I’m away from Korgah. That was scary. I have no idea what I have done and why I did it in the first place. But this is not comforting enough.

    It’s almost midnight. Four hour less in a day than on Corellia. I’d better get used to this.

    I make no sense, Ranni. Why are my words so bland, all of the sudden?

    <<LOCAL TIME: 20:50>>

    Mastigophorous is indeed a city on Drall.

    Meccha is a village on Drall.

    Did you spot a reference to a famous film based on a famous TV series? If you didn’t, read again!
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  20. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    This is one of those cases where I thought I had commented but actually hadn't yet, so I'll quickly try to get something intelligent "under the wire" before you post the next installment:

    Forever Away from Home is the title of your newest series of stories, and gosh, it could be Lil's personal motto too—because his first contact with his "almost-legendary homeworld" is a case study in "forever away from home." He never thought he would see the place, and now that he's there, his feeling is one not of elation but of suffocation and discomfort, both of the psychological variety and the literal variety. Drall's hot, arid climate and wasteland terrain sound downright conditions sound downright unpleasant, and I totally hear him on the discomfort brought on by a different culture's approach to nudity. (Remind me someday to tell you about the friend of mine who was touring with a mixed-sex choir in Germany and they all took a sauna together in the nude afterward—fifty-something male director and all! :eek: ) An all of this is intensified up to 11 by the fact that it takes place so soon after the Corellian sojourn that "took [his] beliefs for a spin." (Which seems to happen to our poor hero just about wherever he goes—though in an off way that may speak just as much to his own sensitivity and willingness to learn!)

    Yep, who does come up with names like Mastigophorous, anyway? :p But in a way it's not an unfitting name, either, because I get the feeling that the Drall of Drall—despite (or perhaps because of) their small stature—have a taste for the grandiose. Which stands in direct opposition to the progressive values of parsimonious simplicity with which our hero has been raised—and which in this case almost get him scorched to death in the desert heat! Bless his heart. :p But he's a trooper, our Lil. The way I read the last few paragraphs of this it's the thoughts of his old friends and dear Anjie that sustain him during that arduous trek—it's as though he carries on for their sakes, and especially for Anjie's sake. His wish that Anjie never be corrupted by "typical artists, their parties, alcohol and spice" choked me up a little inside—so many adults wish that and similar things for the children they know, and then end up having little to no control over it. I have a sneaking suspicion that Anjie will have his share of sorrows later, and that neither Lil himself nor any other trusted adult will be able to do anything about it. Loving a child is tough! :( And yet I know that love will sustain both Lil and Anjie even beyond their moment of parting.

    Can't wait to see what wonders await our protagonist in the Domed City with the Phunny Name. :D
    Kahara, leiamoody and Ewok Poet like this.
  21. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    I shamelessly stole that title, yeah. But it's a wonderful title and I simply can't believe that it took so many years until somebody actually used it for something, given how perfect it is for works with themes of (not) belonging.

    There are gardens and such nice places, but definitely not in this area.


    As I said before, he struggles to belong, just like many characters of actual Saga - including Han Solo, Anakin Skywalker and Finn. But being an artist on the run, he has a very, very specific kind of a struggle.

    I didn't even think about this. Great, great point! Thank you. ^:)^

    And this is where I realise what should've been obvious, especially given what I wrote, like, minutes ago. WOW. You see things I don't see and this is one of the reasons you're the best reader one could ever hope for!

    Lil struggles with control either way, so it's odd that he, in his mind, basically manages Anjie's future. Control is, next to belonging, his main struggle, so...

    And the last sentence is so true! @};-

    [face_whistling] <---- which makes no sense, because I'm adding a late comment. :p
    Findswoman likes this.
  22. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 17

    <<<NAMECODE: *****>>>
    <<LOCAL TIME: 01:23>>

    Ranni, here I am! I didn’t get carried away by some gigantic ibbots and they didn’t devour me. Not that you would know anyway…but it’s not like I didn’t want to record my nonsensical ramblings to you, it’s just that I was so broke that I couldn’t even get enough credits for my third pico-datacard. On top of it, seeing all three of them stuck in the storage space you access by unscrewing the bottom of this ancient thing…it reminds me of sliders. And that reminds me of the comfort of the home I had on Corellia. And I miss it. But I also don’t. It’s hard to explain. Somehow, I think they’re all better without me – I was a burden.

    So, what was going on? Oh yes, the tapcaf, a couple of months ago. It turned out they were closing at three in the morning. And that was when I realised the obvious – that I had no idea where I was and that I had nowhere to go. The name of the place, Meccha, and the name of the tapcaf, Halin’s, didn’t mean anything to me. On top of it, Halin, the first obese Drall I have seen in my entire life – and you know I’ve seen it all – she kept on comming somebody and arguing with him out loud. At least I think it was a he.

    Once her comm calls stopped, a tan-furred Drall about ten years my junior, sneaked into the tapcaf. He asked me if I needed a place to stay and the next thing I knew, I was flying on the back of an actual ibbot. I was mortified, Ranni, that thing is huge. Nasty-looking, too! And, to my surprise, we landed in front of a cave close to the top of a mountain on an island in the middle of the Boiling Sea, where the tan-furred man spoke what was only his third or fourth sentence for the night. He introduced himself and said that his mother made many efforts to have him meet people and socialise in the past, but that this has been the most bizarre setup, by far.

    I didn’t want to be referred to as a setup, so I introduced myself. I almost forgot that I’m Lidgrain now. He sort of smiled and sort of shook my hand. I said I was Sacorrian, he didn’t snicker, he didn’t appear fearful. He just didn’t care. Then he didn’t speak until the next afternoon and, in the meantime, I must have slept a lot. I don’t know. It was only then that he told me his name.

    And that is how I met Elamm. He is a wingrider. They are real! As much as I am disgusted with the elitism of the world we once came from, I can't help being amazed by some of its beautiful traditions. This childish excitement is, no doubt, foolish of me as you most likely saw one already, but wow, despite all the progress and devices such as probe droids, the wingriders of Drall still patrol the reddish skies on their ibbots. They even act as messengers sometimes, though Elamm himself is not in charge of that. He’s not much of a people person, he says.

    I was right about Elamm’s age – he is thirty and the reason he was not responding to his mother comms was because it was his 30th life day and there was this one time when the family threw him a party. He dislikes parties, as much as he dislikes ta’sharra. He never told stories as a youngling. He asked me what my ta’sharra were like and if we have them on Sacorria at all. I wanted to tell him to appreciate the fact that he has a normal family, but with his level of introversion and his mother being, apparently, the exact opposite, I didn’t want to start any thunderwars, if you know what I mean. That’s not progressive in any way. I said that I am a storyteller by nature.

    To my surprise, Elamm then asked me to tell him stories every evening. While he doesn’t talk much, he is willing to listen and I was wrong in my initial assumption that he didn’t care.

    So…I spent the next month or so telling him stories every evening. Once I ran out of stories, I started sharing my whole life so far with him. It was a cathartic experience…and I still have to tell him about why and how I ended up here…the good thing is that he’s not hurrying me. But reliving through everything, Ranni, it makes me so tired that I’m sleeping in most of the days and then waking up to make dinner for my kind host. He comes back from the patrol and tells me about these smugglers he caught, this youngling that got lost, this little riot and this foreigner who almost drowned. On most days, nothing is going on and he just soars through the clouds, circling the Boiling Sea, for fun. He says I’m missing on a lot. What is there to miss? Rocks? Water?

    That said, I have no desire to go outside. The cave is cold and it has just about enough sunlight coming through two durasteel windows, with a wonderful view of the sea and what I’m pretty sure were Meccha and Mastigophorous in the distance – one tiny dot next to an undefined, chaotic set of shapes underneath a dome. How did that failure of architecture end up with such a pretentious name, anyway?

    The other reason I don’t want to go outside was the gigantic ibbots. I could hear the one Elamm is riding each time he would come back. Apparently, the creature, called Sha’lott, suffers because it has to be in an improvised aviary in a smaller cave adjacent to this one, as opposed to inside, with us. But Elamm explained to it that I’m scared, after he tried to convince me that this particular species of the ibbot eats only berries and other fruits. And I too understand that I’ll have to let go off that fear. And the fear of walking around with nothing but a waistbag – seeing Halin only made me more self-conscious. And the fear of getting off this mountain. Elamm bought me a new datacard when I told him the story about, well, recording stories for you. He said that once I’m over my fears, he will help me look for some kind of a job. I don’t like the “some kind” part!

    Until then, I’ll be sitting here, thinking of you and sketching the view…preferably with an undefined shape instead of Mastigophorous.

    <<LOCAL TIME: 04:26>>

    Since this entry was supposed to be posted on Tuesday and not Wednesday, ALL numbers in it are intentional.

    Ibbot is a blanket term for all avians of Drall, much like birds here on Earth, but also cattle: as there are edible ibbots and utility ibbots.

    Elamm is a shy character example from one of the RPG sourcebooks. I liked what I read and I wanted to expand on it.

    Sha'lott is indeed Elamm's ibbot.

    Halin's is a real place, I just took the liberty of inventing Halin herself, her connection to Elamm and the idea of the place existing long before its first appearance.

    Wingriders are Drall's police, they ride large ibbots.

    Boiling Sea is a lake on Drall. Next to not being a sea, it's not actually boiling, either.
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  23. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    What a kind, likable fellow this Elamm is. Should I say "seems to be" instead of "is"? But it's hard for me to doubt that his kindness to Lil is sincere—otherwise, why would he take this poor, desperate stranger along with him on his own ibbot, then spend days and days hosting him in his home and listening to him tell stories, both his own and those of others, while at the same playing diplomatic mediator between his guest and his huge, mean-looking mount? And offering to help him find a job? Introverted doesn't mean cold-hearted, after all! Rather than seeming in any way socially awkward (and I had a similar experience as Elamm with my mother trying to set me up socially with people as a tween and teen...), it seems to me more like Elamm's just the kind of person who gets on better one-on-one than in a large group.

    It's interesting that, unlike some of the other locals, he doesn't react with surprise or shock or disdain to the fact that Lil is Sacorrian, though I
    imagine that might be partly his job—as a wingrider keeping order and peace, it's probably not bad for him to maintain a certain measure of professional neutrality. Another thing I'm filing away in my head is the fact that Lil apparently almost slipped and said his real name (whatever that may be)—and that makes me wonder if one of these days someone is going to ask him his name and he will slip and say his real name instead of Lidgrain or Lil, and what will happen then? [face_nail_biting]

    Between ibbots and state-of-undress issues, I can't blame Lil for being unwilling and afraid to go outside. I agree with his his new host that won't do for him to be so forever, but indeed that "some kind" does feel a little odd, somehow, as though Elamm has something more specific in mind than he cares to let on, if that makes any sense. At least it sounds like there are some stunning landscape art opportunities around here.

    I wonder if we'll be seeing more of Halin and her attempts to get her son to socialize. :p She doesn't seem outright bad at all, just a bit pushy, and surely she means well. (Again, said the person who experienced close to the same in high school. :S ) Kind of a fun touch that you got her in, what with (what in some parts of the world is) Mother's Day coming up—no idea whether that was intentional or not, but it worked out well! :D
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  24. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    This is precisely what I wanted to show here. Thanks to some really strange people who used introversion as their blanket excuse, hopelessly missunderstanding the meaning of the actual word, I used to think all introverts were monsters. And yeah, then I obviously discovered that it's not true and that I'm an introvert myself, albeit juuuust barely. :p

    Of course that Elamm is nice, but it may take him and Lil some time to get used to each other's idiosyncrasies.

    Let's see if the latter assumption will still matter after the next entry...

    We'll see!

    Fear of unknown, fear of baring it all, fear of fear - they all skew the perspective here.

    We don't have Mother's Day here, so definitely a coincidence. But if you want her, you'll get her. ;) And she won't bother you to socialise, I promise!
    Findswoman likes this.
  25. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Entry 18

    <<<NAMECODE: *****>>>
    <<LOCAL TIME: 16:26>>

    Is this freedom…or not?

    I am no longer scared of Sha’lott, Elamm’s ibbot. The creature does look like it’s about to pick my inner organs out with a single slash of its mighty beak, but once one gets to know him, he is extremely friendly. He makes these sounds that I used to think were threatening, but now they are music to my ears.

    What got me worried is that he was picking my fur. I do bathe regularly, I couldn’t possibly be infected by parasites! Elamm says that this is the way great ibbots show affection. At least it’s picking my head fur!

    Today, I finally went out after what must have been two standard months. This required disrobing and wearing just a plain set of waistbags. Elamm reminded me that nobody knows I’m foreign unless I say so – to them, I’m just another black Drall. I guess I will have to break him the news about that someday, somehow. It was much easier to deal with grooming on Corellia.

    Once one no longer feels like boiling, the Boiling Sea, which is not a sea and not boiling, either, is a nice place. I guess. There are things such as health spas everywhere. But I don’t care about those. I don’t care about credits. But I do care about all these beings wearing grey. They look like the ultimate bearers of sorrow, messengers of depression. They’re everywhere. They’re not particularly kind to us Drall. And they’re all Human. Elamm does not want to know who they are, and me, I’m dying to ask him if we could drop by Meccha and ask his mother about these soul-sucking invaders.

    But I’m not asking him anything. After all, this is my first time out.

    I wanted to see something that would leave an impression on me and I asked Elamm if he had any ideas.

    This is how we ended in a graveyard. And not just any graveyard. Once Sha’lott landed in front of the gate I remembered seeing in so many holos, my heart was racing. And yes, it’s what you think it is! The Memorial Graveyard of the Boiling Sea is a place so hauntingly beautiful that the sections of Sarcophagus that I have been to fade in comparison. And it’s packed, no pun intended, with Drall legacy. Here lay the bones of such fascinating individuals such as the scientists that determined where and how we came from, the creators of the first starships and the best of the chronos.

    And just then, I spotted the grave of Karihn, one of my favourite poets. I had no idea when he was actually born and if he was still alive. At first, the mere thought that he’s dead made me sad, as if it had happened in my lifetime. Then, I realised that he had died three hundred years ago. I’m not sure if I’m stupid, Ranni, or if I am completely lost in this space time. In my mind, until this very tombstone with the words of “Freedom” carved into it appeared before my eyes, Karihn was either a myth or somebody practically immortal. What is wrong with me? Why don’t I take things the way they are?

    Elamm noticed my confusion and asked me if I fear my own mortality. I started stuttering. I…didn’t know how to respond to that. Who is not afraid of dying? A meteor from outer space could come out of nowhere at any given time and get rid of me.

    That’s me, the good old coward, minus “good”.

    But Ellam?

    Elamm is not afraid of death. Elamm is not afraid of life. He does not carry any weapons in his waistbag, just seeds for Sha’lott and a bunch of beads for himself. No, he does not eat them, of course. He puts a new bead in his curly, braided head fur for each trimestre of his service to the Wingriders. To him, everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be and he’s not willing to have any impact at whatever the Force, he says, is throwing his way. He may be getting some clues from the Universe, which he considers a hive mind, but he is not trying to stop or change anything.

    "There are beings like me all around the Sector, and beyond. Skydancers. Friends of animals. Watchers of the stars. Call them whatever you like. I call them my friends."

    Yes, that is what he told me, for absolutely no reason. I could not see that coming. I don’t know why he said it. I am not sure why he had to share that with me. How can we watch the stars when we’re, ultimately, blind to the big picture? What use would the blind have from watching the stars? Charting the stars? Wouldn’t everything simply amount to black lines, connecting white dots? And wouldn’t some of those stars be black, by the time one has figured them out?

    On top of this, despite all of my fears, he thinks I could make it as a wingrider. But it takes years or practice and hard work. One needs to connect to their ibbot, he says. Like he connected to Sha’lott. One needs to be one with the skies. I am more likely to associate that sentences with death, than freedom. And he knows it. He notices the way my fur rises each time he mentions the skies and he knows that I’m, at least deep inside, dreading mounting Sha’lott again and trusting him as my pilot and navigator.

    If I was to express my concerns about this, he would probably say that nobody pilots anything, or that the Force is his navigator, while the Universe is his pilot. Maybe he would make even less sense. Maybe he would say that Sha’lott is Universe, personified. Maybe he would go on and on about freedom.

    This is not freedom, after all. It’s a whole different “F”. Fear.

    <<LOCAL TIME: 17:50>>

    Karihn is an OC and he and his poem "Freedom" were mentioned in chapter 02 of The Light is Me, I Am The Light.

    Elamm's beads and braided fur on top of his head were previously established.
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.