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Saga Dead Man Walking [Proverbs Challenge; thriller/action/suspense; OCs, ISRR] COMPLETED 07/31

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Idrelle_Miocovani, May 29, 2010.

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  1. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Winner of Best Action in the 2010 Saga FanFic Awards

    Title: Dead Man Walking
    Author: Idrelle_Miocovani
    Timeframe: Sometime during the Galactic Civil War
    Genre: suspense, action, thriller, and a tiny little bit of romance for good measure
    Characters: OCs (non-humans galore) and a certain Imperial terror
    Summary: When the leader of a group of Alliance spies is found murdered, her death starts a cycle of consequences that has two Rebel agents racing against time through the depths of Coruscant in a desperate attempt to deliver important intel to the Rebel Alliance.
    Notes #1: Prequel spin-off vignette featuring Seline and Nyixa: [link=http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/31171290/p1/]Some Negotiation Required[/link]
    Notes #2: Written for the Proverbs Challenge. As MiralukaJedi told me, ?it?s just a little morbid.? Appropriately, the bunnies the proverb spawned were a little morbid and had nothing to do with pirates, as I first expected when I read it (that makes sense once you see the proverb :p ).

    This is possibly the darkest and grittiest fic I have ever written, and because of that, I?m a little nervous about posting since it is something that is way outside my comfort zone as a writer. :p I think I may be taking my first steps towards "darker and edgier" territory. ;)

    As such, I have to put up a warning: this story contains a scene with an Interspecies Romantic Relationship (ISRR) and some allusions to a Same-Sex Relationship (SSR). These relationships are not the focal point or the core of the story, but they are important to the characters. If you do not like ISRR and/or SSR, you may want to click the backbutton. :)

    I'd also like to thank the mods for answering my questions as to what is and what is not appropriate for ISRR and SSR. [:D]

    Onwards we go! Hold on tight, this is going to be a pretty crazy ride.


    [blockquote][b][hl=black][color=red]DEAD MAN WALKING[/color][/hl][/b]

    [color=darkred][b][i]?Dead men tell no tales.?
    English proverb, mid-17th century.[/i][/b][/color]

    ***

    [b][i]70 hours, 3 minutes.[/i][/b]

    ***[/blockquote]

    To put it in poetic words, Coruscant was the city that never slept, the ceaseless megametropolis that refused to stop working. Even when one side rotated away from the system?s sun, that Coruscanti half-face never plunged into complete darkness and total silence. Like a well-oiled droid, the planet never shut down, no matter what fuel fed its gears. Politics, crime, art ? it was all the same, just pieces of the puzzle fitting together to create an image that never left the galaxy?s eye.

    He should be quite proud of himself, Rerem Anaro thought, coming up with a description like that. He was not one for the poetics. As it did him little good in his line of work, he felt flowery language was both pretty and pretty useless. It was rather like the girls he took a fancy to at the bar when he was looking for a way to lighten his spirits.

    Coruscant never stopped, and so neither did he. Rerem was constantly moving ? and running, on more than several occasions. He rested in small periods of half-hours throughout the day and night. It was his custom, adopted several years ago on Corellia when he found sleepless cities to be bad for the health of sleeping folks. It was too easy to have your throat slit when you were unconscious, drifting around in the no-where-land of dreams. Eight hours was a mighty long stretch of time to expose your throat.

    Rerem held on to this belief and intentionally imposed it on others of the team. He frequently dropped in on colleagues in the middle of the night to conduct business, even if they were attempting to replenish their sapped energy overnight. There were never many complaints about this; the ever-changing meeting times helped them to avoid getting caught.

    Because of this, Rerem wasn?t troubled when it took his colleagues time to answer their hotel doors. But when Seline simply refused to answer the buzzer, Rerem didn?t bother to keep >
     
  2. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Not comfortable? You did a wonderful, wonderful job with this!
     
  3. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Idri, this is FANTASTIC!! Very gritty and edgy, but I love it :D
     
  4. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    For being outside your comfort zone, this is pretty good. Feel free to do it again. :D
     
  5. Zadann_MaRanna

    Zadann_MaRanna Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2009
    GREAT! I looooved it.

    Can't wait for Monday :D
     
  6. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Idrelle, if you hadn't mentioned that this is outside your comfort zone, I would have thought that mystery fics were one of your specialties! I can't guess what will happen next (you might have inserted some clues, but if so, I didn't catch them [face_blush] ), but am very interested in finding out what will happen to our gang of rebel spies. 48 hours - that's a tight schedule they're working on! I wonder what the deadline refers to? :confused:
     
  7. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Valairy_Scot
    Well, I've never actually written about spies or the GFFA underworld before, so I wasn't entirely sure how it was going to turn out. [face_laugh] Thank you very much! [:D]


    Nat
    Surprise! New fic that I didn't tell you about! :p Thanks, hon. [:D] Glad you're enjoying it, even though it's not going to be one of the happy fics that I know you like. ;)


    MiralukaJedi
    I'm playing around with the characters and types of situations and enjoying it a lot. I might do another spy thriller sometime, since I'm liking it a lot. :D Thanks for you comments! :)


    Zadann_MaRanna
    Thanks! :) Hope it won't disappoint! :D


    Valiowk
    Lol, thanks a lot! :D I'm actually a Jedi/Sith conflict girl; I haven't written a lot of OCs or characters that are non-Jedi and I've never done a spy story before. I'm trying to be a more versatile author, so I'm giving myself new situations to work with instead of falling back to the same old thing. Yay for experimentation! :D Thank you so much for you comments: 48 hours is indeed a tight schedule, but a lot can happen in 48 hours... You'll probably be able to guess what the count down may mean within a few posts. :)


    Thank you all for reading! [:D]
     
  8. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    [blockquote]***

    39 hours, 6 minutes.

    ***[/blockquote]

    When Rerem had first arrived on Coruscant a month and a half ago, he had taken the pains to get himself a good alias and a working position in maintenance in one of the lower offices of the Imperial Service Bureau. He had been a spy for twenty-ish years now and he was good at getting into places his enemies never wanted him to be. All Imperials were pompous enough not to expect anything of a lowly maintenance worker who had a fairly clean background check, aside from a few gambling and parking incidences. Surveillance in the ISB was the first and foremost important thing for the team, and Rerem took it upon himself to see it done properly. After all, the Empire had spies sneaking into their intel organizations and someone from the Alliance had to return the favour.

    Rerem got a kick out of walking through the front doors of the ISB every morning. People never looked at what was right in front of them.

    ?Humans never cease to be unobservant.?

    ?Hey, Nash, while I?m working on getting you safely in here, would you mind not insulting my entire species? There?s a lot of important, observant humans in the Rebellion.?

    ?Oh, I am quite aware of that. However, that doesn?t stop you from forcibly reminding me that I, as a non-human, cannot take the front door method you are so fond of.?

    ?We could save a lot of time if the opposite were true,? Rerem said, trying to pry the stubborn false wall open.

    ?There aren?t any Bothans in government buildings anymore, Rem,? Nash said. ?The poisoners thinks our entire nation is made out of spies.?

    ?True, true.?

    Nash was aiding Rerem in decoding several datafiles he had discovered that morning. The easiest thing would be for Rerem to copy them, but they were so secure that he couldn?t remove them safely from their spot without setting off alarms everywhere. Because of this particular fix, Rerem had snuck Nash into the building. It was a bit of a risk ? any Bothan spotted in the ISB would immediately be linked back to the Bothan Spynet, whether they were a spy or not ? but Rerem didn?t have much of a choice. The Empire was out hunting for green-skinned people, so Nyixa and Koss had to do their work elsewhere. Seline, being human, would have been the ideal partner for this situation, but Rerem couldn?t do much about her being permanently out of action.

    Finding ways of working around Seline?s absence was going to be a lot harder than Rerem had thought. So much for the self-sufficiency he prided himself and his colleagues on.

    The entrance to the maintenance shaft flew open all the way and Nash squeezed through. His large frame and bulk had difficulty manoeuvring in such tight places; he was relieved to finally be out.

    ?Took you long enough,? he remarked dryly as Rerem closed the door.

    ?Yeah, well, I?m not a Jedi, so can we just move along now??

    ?Absolutely, Rem,? Nash said. They hurried down the corridor, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. Rerem had temporarily disabled the cameras observing this corridor, but they were scheduled to turn back on within two minutes. If they were off for any longer, security would become suspicious.

    ?You know, I?d really appreciate it if you stopped calling me that.?

    ?What, ?Rem???

    ?What else?? Rerem snapped. ?Nicknames don?t suit me. Never have, never will.?

    ?Let me have this one; I get so little amusement. Nicknames might not suit you, but they sure do stick.?

    And they have no meaning, Rerem said silently.

    He had always been unconcerned about names, having piled on so many alias over the years, but he found nicknames to be a waste of time and highly annoying. This was especially true when the nicknames were developed out of a name that was really only an alias.

    Rerem wasn?t his true name.

    His true name was lost to memory. He had chosen Rerem as a new name because it was the first one that stuck in his head when he woke up, battered and bruised, in a dusty gutter on Tatooine nearly twenty-one years ago.

    ?Come on, Nash,? Rerem said. ?We?ve go
     
  9. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    This keeps getting better and better. Very nicely done.
     
  10. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Ooh, very suspenseful indeed. Poor Koss and Nash :( - hope the others have better luck against Vader. And this must be tremendously important information if Seline committed suicide rather than risk spilling what she knew if the Empire were to torture her. I wonder if this intel is actually the plans for the Death Star? :confused:

    Looking forward to seeing more! :)
     
  11. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    MiralukaJedi
    Thank you! [:D]


    Valiowk
    Poor Koss and Nash, yes. :( I was having so much fun with their characters (especially Koss -- somehow, my Muse loves that ugly Twi'lek very much, I think I want to go back and write prequel stories with him [face_laugh] ), and then the Muse ordered them killed off. :( Luck against Vader? ...hmm... even Jedi didn't have much luck against Vader. [face_skull] As to what the intel is - well, they know it's important, considering the trouble it's gotten the rest of the team into - you'll just have to wait and see if Nyixa and Rerem have the time, or intention, to find out what it is. ;) Thanks for reading!


    Apologies for being late with the update. I was planning on updating last night, but then something in RL came up and I fell asleep before getting back online. [face_laugh] Oops. My bad. Now I know I just seem to love fighting with my self-assigned schedules. 8-}


    [blockquote]***

    [b][i]19 hours, 11 minutes.[/i][/b]

    ***[/blockquote]

    The sun had risen, blossoming pink and gold across the morning sky. Rerem lay curled on the roof under his jacket, biting his nails and waiting. He had tried multiple times to contact Nyixa, but she was not answering her comm. Nash, too, was absent. Rerem had a suspicion that something nasty had occurred over the night and he could only cross his fingers and hope that his colleagues had made it out alive. If Vader had somehow managed to track them, too, then Seline?s stolen datafiles may already be back in Imperial hands and his partners could be stone dead.

    [i]No,[/i] he thought vehemently. [i]It hasn?t come to that yet.[/i]

    With his failure to contact his colleagues, Rerem had tried to reach out to the officer in charge of Alliance intel on Coruscant. Once Nyixa and Nash returned from retrieving Seline?s stolen datafiles, they would have to transmit them to the Alliance. With their communicators and systems down in the past few days, Dreis would have to be notified. He was the only one who could help them complete their mission. Unfortunately, Rerem couldn?t get through to him.

    He drifted in and out of sleep, startling himself awake whenever he thought he heard the sounds of an approaching speeder. Vader?s bloody name oozed in and out of his thoughts, accompanied by Seline and Koss? mutilated bodies. Well, it was only a matter of time before they all met their end. No one had ever said the life expectancy of a spy was long.

    He had been here for a month and a half. Rerem wished that they had lasted longer, but the time [i]was[/i] long. Some jobs only took mere weeks. Sometimes it felt like a mighty long time, sometimes it felt like no time at all. Time was a funny thing for a spy. Days flew by at insanely fast rates, but collective weeks took forever to pass.

    And now time was slipping by faster than Rerem thought possible.

    [i]Someone ought to find the leak and plug it up,[/i] he thought sourly. [i]Or just get me a strong drink so I can forget all this.[/i]

    ?Rerem.?

    His eyes flickered open. His vision was blurry ? all he saw was a blur of green and black in front of him.

    [i]?Rerem!?[/i] The female voice was a bit hysterical.

    Rerem rubbed his eyes and suddenly his mind snapped into gear. He leapt to his feet.

    Nyixa was standing in front of him, her skin pale green mottled with red, something he had never seen before. Her eyes were wide and wild and she was trembling from head to toe.

    She was also covered in dark, red blood.

    ?Oh, gods, Nyixa!? He placed his hands on her shoulders, but she shrugged him off and teetered to one side. He followed. ?Are you all right??

    ?Fine.? She tugged at her clothes and rubbed her blood-splattered arms. ?I?m fine.?

    ?What happened? Where?s Nash?? He didn?t need her to answer; the ice-cold feeling in his stomach was telling him exactly what had happened.

    ?I?ll tell you,? she said. ?Just? let?s get away from here. We need to go someplace else. Where?s Koss??

    He ignored her. ?Do you have Seline?s datafiles??

    She nodded. ?Please, Rerem, can we go??

    ?Yeah, yeah, of course.? He >
     
  12. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    Very poingant and gritty.
     
  13. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Glad that Nyixa and Rerem are safe - for now. Great description of Nyixa's skin tone changing colour - it was very vivid and powerfully conveyed the impact of Nash's suicide on Nyixa.

    I really hope that at least one of the spies will be alive at the end of all this! [face_praying] Looking forward to seeing more!
     
  14. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    MiralukaJedi
    Thanks. That's what I was aiming for. :)


    Valiowk
    That was one of the reasons I chose to make Nyixa a Falleen in the first place. I'm working solely off of their wookieepedia entry and my own imagination, so I'm kind of making up the colour-change thing as I go (wookiee isn't very specific about the change in skin pigmentation), but since most Falleen tend to be shades of green, for Nyixa I decided to go with green meaning she's calm and red meaning she's a little less than calm. :)

    Will they survive? Time will tell... though the invisible (to them :p ) countdown is ticking! [face_worried]


    [blockquote]***

    [b][i]14 hours, 7 minutes. [/i][/b]

    ***[/blockquote]

    The cantina did not look very threatening. If not for its location in the Crimson Corridor, it could have probably been considered a normal, dull cantina. However, because of its location, Rerem thought that Marxes could have done more to keep the place looking a bit formidable, or clean, or classy or whatever passed to make a place look Coruscanti. But the dim lights, brown leathers and persistent stale stench of Marxes? favourite hide-out obtusely insisted making it seem like some Outer-Rim tavern rather than a thuggish smuggling lord?s base of operations.

    It just proved that some things stayed the same.

    Rerem and Nyixa walked through the front door. The cantina was not particularly busy and though no one looked in their direction, Rerem could sense the eyes of Marxes? cohorts on his back as they went to the bar to order drinks and food. The bartender took them without question; his eyes didn?t even linger on their torn and bloodied clothes as he passed them their drinks.

    They wandered over to a booth with frayed leather upholstery and sat down. Rerem partially drained his tankard with one gulp and attacked his food; he was ravished.

    Nyixa didn?t say a word. She sat with her hand resting on her blaster, refusing to touch her drink as her eyes scanned the vicinity. ?I don?t like this place,? she said.

    Rerem leaned back in his seat and took a drink. ?I wouldn?t expect you to.?

    ?It?s?? Her nostrils flared. ?Filthy.?

    ?You might not want to hear Marxes hear you say that. He takes great pride in maintaining filthiness.?

    ?I strongly dislike your friends, Rerem.?

    ?You?re not required to.?

    Nyixa rammed her fingernails into the top of the table. ?You just better hope you?re not getting us into more trouble,? she hissed.

    Rerem shrugged and continued stuffed food into his mouth. ?Ar? ?oo g?na eet?? he asked.

    Nyixa fixed him with a cold look and didn?t answer.

    Rerem swallowed. ?Suit yourself. Just don?t blame me when you start starving.?

    Nyixa glared at him and gingerly picked up a fork. She stabbed at her food half-heartedly, but slowly began to eat despite her reservations.

    ?So, I hear you don?t like my cantina,? a silky male voice said.

    Rerem froze as he felt the blaster at the back of his head. Nyixa lowered her fork and stared at the person leaning over the booth behind him.

    ?Falleen require a little more class than this dump can offer,? she said coolly.

    The blaster clicked. ?You might want to show a little more respect, Nyixa, or else I?ll have your friend?s brains splattered all over you in an instance.?

    Nyixa shrugged and turned back to her food. ?Go ahead. I can move faster without him.?

    The male voice began to laugh. ?Fine girl you got there, Anaro. Been a while since I?ve seen her around.?

    The blaster disappeared and returned to its holster with a sliding sound. Rerem smiled shortly, but didn?t turn around.

    ?Nice to see you again, Marxes.?

    Marxes strolled around to their table. He didn?t bother to pull up a chair, choosing to stand with his blue hands pressed into the table edges. His dark eyes only briefly glanced at Rerem, his gaze preferring to stare at Nyixa. Rerem took a swig of his drink, wondering how this was going to pan out. It was always a risk whenever he showed up at Marxes? door. The thug was a small-timer, hardly dangerous when considered against the elite crime organizations o>
     
  15. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    Interesting smuggler that you've created here in Marxes.
     
  16. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Interesting "negotiations" between Rerem and Marxes. I wonder what Marxes had in mind when he decided to play this game with Rerem - perhaps he figured that since his ships wouldn't be in for another twelve hours, he should try to extort more out of Rerem - at least enough to keep him busy gathering money for the next twelve hours?

    Also wondering why Aaven seems familiar to Rerem... :confused:

    14 hours, 7 minutes left, and the ships won't be back for another twelve hours? I wonder if our protagonists will find another way off-planet in the meantime... :rolleyes:
     
  17. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    MiralukaJedi
    Thanks! :) I've tried to create interesting minor characters. I've flushed them out more in my notes; Marxes is one of the OCs that I'm considering playing around with a bit more in different stuff (if I have the time and inclination - so hard to know what the Muse will decide to work on next!).

    Valiowk
    Marxes likes to play games, that's for sure, but he can be a bit reckless and sometimes doesn't always think things through properly. You'll find out why Aaven is familiar in the next post. ;)

    14 hours, 7 minutes left, and the ships won't be back for another twelve hours?

    I believe this is an example of an "Oh, crap" situation. :p Why the eye-rolling? o_O :p


    Really big apologies to everyone reading right now! I should have updated yesterday (as promised), but RL stuff came up again (I really don't know what's up with this week... unemployment usually means that I have all the free time in the world *sigh*) and so I haven't been able to finish editing the next post. Since my schedule has become suddenly busy, I'll try to get things back to normal in a few days. *fingers crossed* Epic amounts of apologies! I have a bad track record for messing up my posting schedules. 8-} [face_blush]

    Thanks for reading! [:D]

     
  18. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    [blockquote]***

    11 hours, 38 minutes

    ***[/blockquote]

    They crashed at a lodge not far away, exhaustion and pain overcoming them at last. The place was low-class ? it could hardly be considered in the league of even the most meagre hotels ? and was one of many lower level buildings that was decrepit and in desperate need of repair. There were a few others in the building, but they paid Rerem and Nyixa no heed. Concerned about Marxes? words of the bounty on their head, Nyixa had temporarily forced herself to change her skin tone to red in an attempt at a quick disguise ? the authorities were most likely looking for a green-skinned woman. Rerem did not have such easy access to quick changes of appearance, but he was nondescript enough in his looks ? there were thousands of men in the Imperial City who shared his description of dark hair and swarthy skin.

    The state of their clothing and the small wounds lacerating their bodies were a bit more conspicuous, but these were the lower levels and there was a reputation about the area its residents upheld. No one asked questions when you showed up seeking lodging looking less than spotless.

    Once in their room, Rerem wished sleep was his first priority, but the scuffle in Marxes? cantina had left him with injuries to clean up. The pieces of debris that had lodged themselves in his skin were tiny pinpricks and had not penetrated deep; however, like even the smallest splinter, they needed to be removed. He sat on the grubby bed, a med kit at his side, carefully extracting the debris.

    Nyixa was in a similar condition to him, so after scouting their surroundings, she sat down beside him and took to tending her own wounds.

    ?I have to admit, I wasn?t expecting you to poison Marxes,? she said.

    ?It was the easiest way to hold the scum hostage without actually being present,? Rerem said, concentrating on removing a splinter from his arm. ?It?s a little difficult to keep tabs on someone and sleep at the same time. Marxes is so afraid of dying that it can be used against him. We have a way off-planet and we can have time to recuperate without having to keep an eye on him.?

    ?You don?t think they?ll find out what the poison is??

    ?No. It?s rare enough that even if they do figure out what it is, they won?t be able to get their hands on the antidote fast enough.?

    ?And you have the antidote, do you??

    ?Maybe.? He grinned slyly at her. ?I worked with a certain intelligent scumbag for a while, back in my teens. He knew a thing or two about venoms and poison ? even managed to manufacture a few himself. Blasters and vibroblades aren?t the only weapons out there. I know enough to put certain toxins to good use now and then.?

    ?Hm.? Nyixa was barely paying attention. She had pulled out the little black datapad and weighed it in her palm, her eyes boring into the blank screen. ?I wonder,? she murmured.

    ?What??

    Her fingers brushed the edges of the keypad. ?We?re being hunted down for what?s contained here,? she said. ?Nash and I got it out of Seline?s hiding place easily enough, but we never had time to decode the encryption she put on them. I know Seline?s way with codes, it would be pretty easy to slice? I wish I knew what was in here.?

    ?Why?? Rerem took the datapad from her. He held it between his fingers, turning it over.

    ?Aren?t you the least bit curious??

    Rerem didn?t answer and continued to stare at the thing. What could be worth their lives? What would cause the Empire to hunt them? There were hundreds of answers to that. Gods knew that any spy was a bad spy and the Empire would stop at nothing to make sure that no information, no matter how trivial, would not make its way back to the Alliance. At the end of the day, this intel was no different than any other they had collected. The Imperials didn?t want them running away with this it.

    But to drag Vader into it brought it to a whole new level ? didn?t it?

    What was Nyixa holding in her hands? The key to some Imperial weak spot? A revelation of a new Imperial menace?

    Whatever it was, it was just information. Dat
     
  19. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Great update, Idrelle! Please don't worry about updating on a schedule - we understand that things crop up now and then that are more important than keeping your readers "fed" for the week. :)

    Interesting conversation between Rerem and Nyixa - I hadn't expected their reasons for becoming Rebel spies to be such. Though, I guess at the end of it all it doesn't matter what your reasons are, as long as you know your actions aren't causing more harm overall. And I can fully understand their decision not to want to find out what information the datapad contains.

    I see Rerem and Nyixa didn't manage to get very much sleep at all. ;) Hm, so they have somebody who is partially on their side? I really wonder whether Aaven will end up being more of a help or a hindrance to them, though. And, oh! evil cliffie at the end... :mad: ;)

    Regarding the eye-rolling, I tend to choose emoticons that look to me like what I would like to convey, although their descriptions sometimes differ from what I was thinking of. I didn't realise that this could potentially be confusing... [face_blush] Sorry about the confusion!
     
  20. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    No wonder they can't get any sleep...not every day you get that kind of rude awakening. Nice job once again.
     
  21. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Valiowk
    I like to think that both characters from the Rebellion and the Empire have shades of grey. The movies portray a very black/white morality at times when it's all caught up in Jedi/Sith stuff. But the reality is that the Rebellion is huge, with many people from many different backgrounds joining their cause. With so many people, there would be many different reasons for joining. I know what I think the datapad contains, but whether or not the characters will find out still remains to be seen. ;)

    This is the first time writing with a count-down, and it's... pretty different. It's like there's a clock constantly going tick-tick-tick in my head and suddenly everything becomes a hell of a lot more real for me as a writer. My characters are running on lack of sleep and I can pretty much feel that. 8-} Aaven has her own ideas and own obligations - at this point, it really is every person for themselves...

    Regarding eye-rolling: I was both kidding and both genuinely curious as to why you chose that particular emoticon. :D I love using emoticons for the same reason that you use them, so it was interesting to me. :)


    MiralukaJedi
    Thanks! Yeah, Aaven had pretty bad timing there...


    Author Note
    I got distracted, but I am now trying to finish up the last three posts of this story. :) I'm a little annoyed that I couldn't keep to a schedule, but there you go. My Muse does strange things. 8-} As such, I can't say when exactly I'll have the next update ready, so keep your eyes peeled for... whenever... it... comes along. :p

    [face_peace]
     
  22. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    [blockquote]***

    9 hours, 47 minutes.

    ***[/blockquote]

    Nyixa?s shout shot across the room just as the door burst open. Rerem hit the floor, pulling Aaven?s supply of weapons with him. Blaster fire flew over him and the next moment, Aaven was shouting, her words masked by the flurry of ricocheting sound. Acting on his long-trained reflexes, Rerem shut his eyes, clasping his hands over his mouth and nose. Something close to him exploded with a muffled bang and for moment the blaster fire ceased, replaced with coughing and retching. Rerem staggered to his feet, feeling Nyixa?s cold grasp on his arm, and ran forwards, his eyes still tightly shut. There was a foul stench in the air.

    Aaven?s timing was unhindered by old age.

    Moments later, Rerem, Nyixa and Aaven were expelled into the hallway in a grey cloud that dissipated as it rushed in all directions into the open space. With stinging eyes and hoarse voices, they shot off down the hall as fast as they could, trying to fling the effects of the gas that had flooded the room to engulf their unwanted Imperial visitors.

    ?Could you give us a warning before you throw one of those?? Nyixa snapped at Aaven as they hurtled down the corridor.

    ?Oh, that gratitude is so noticeable right now,? Aaven snarled. She yelped as another blaster bolt went flying past her head, nearly scoring her in the cheek. Nyixa was about to reply when Rerem rammed into their backs, pushing them abruptly into a right-hand corridor. Aaven was caught off-balance and went crashing to the floor.

    ?Less talk, more running!? he hissed.

    ?Of course, dear,? Aaven said, launching herself back up as if she had never fallen down.

    They charged down the hall, the heavy voices of their pursuers never far behind. Light flickered through from the long window lining the left-hand side of the corridor, casting shadows in every direction. They were the kind of shadows that made the hunted jump on the slight off-chance that the enemy who is so clearly behind you somehow managed to give you the slip and get ahead.

    A steady stream of epithets burned silently in Rerem?s mind; if he had the breath, they would be echoing loudly down the corridor. He was exhausted, but if he stopped moving, he was dead. Part of him almost wished that his body would give out on him, simply because that made everything so much easier. In the past day, living had become almost impossible and he was getting pretty damn close to wondering what was so unlikeable about that death option.

    Aside from the fact that he would be ? well ? dead.

    Endgame.

    It really wasn?t a favourable option.

    Up ahead, Nyixa skidded to a stop, grabbing hold of a panel on the wall. She wrenched it open with such force that the cover went flying; her long fingers began furiously punching in a series of codes. Aaven?s fur bristled and she barrelled along down the hall, at ease with leaving Nyixa standing unguarded for Imperial target practice.

    ?Aaven!? Rerem shouted.

    ?Let her go if she wants to.? Nyixa said, quickly reaching for something hidden in her clothes. ?She?s nothing I care about.? She flinched as red light flared down the corridor. ?I need you to cover me.?

    Rerem?s grip on his blaster tightened and he pointed it in the direction of their approaching enemies. ?No need to ask.?

    Nyixa withdrew a small silver disc and jammed it into the panel, which lit up, illuminating the wall. Rerem could not spare a moment to understand what exactly she was doing; the Imperial agents were already running down the hall way and they had no real cover. He and Nyixa were out-numbered and the moment the Imperials got within firing range, they were dead.

    ?Got it!? Nyixa shouted.

    ?Down!?

    Rerem grabbed her by the waist and they tumbled to the floor as a shot went over their heads, missing them by inches. Out of the corner of his eye, Rerem saw an invisible door suddenly swing open, revealing the darkness of a maintenance corridor. He lurched forwards, keeping close to the ground as he tried to fling himself into the protection of the only barricade
     
  23. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    Lovely slice of action here! Interesting to see Nyixa, Rerem and Aaven having to make an escape together and the squabbles that they get into along the way.

    As usual, you manage to insert these astute insights into the story so subtly!

    I wonder if there is even enough time (judging by the countdown) to meet at Marxes' place tomorrow? :confused:

    Congratulations on the nomination - you really deserve it! [:D]


     
  24. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Thanks, Valiowk! :) Writing action can flip from being very interesting to very boring; I guess it depends completely on character interaction to hold my interest and make it more enjoyable, so I like slipping little things into the conversations and squabbles that occur between the characters.

    Oh, there's enough time for everything. ;) The characters aren't aware that a count down is going on. :p


    Good news, people who may or may not be reading! :p I am almost done writing/editing the story (huge portions of the end had to be re-written, which is partially why it took me so long to get around to updating). I have the next two posts ready to go, and am currently working on the third and final one. So I might just be able to get back on an updating schedule. Woohoo! [face_dancing]

    That being said, the next update will be this Sunday. :)

    Also, it's now excerpt time for the awards. I have to choose an 800 word excerpt to represent the Best Action in this story. Since there's a heck of a lot of action in this story, any suggestions would be most welcome! :) [:D]



     
  25. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    May 15, 2008
    "Vader is here," she spat.

    Definitely all the more reason to get the heck out of there. Great work!
     
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