Saga ~Dear Abby~ Star Wars Characters write to Dear Abby, comedy. COMPLETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this. Thanks for the update

 

Wow! So many replies, thank you all so much! Sorry it's taken me this long, RL is EVIL.


hyperspace_police Aw thanks, it's an honor to have someone so important like my work! And I shall be keeping it up, for ONE last chapter everyone! Yes everyone I'm wrapping it up!

JediFalcon More is coming soon, thanks for reading! I'm sure you would be glad to help write it, but I'm afraid I'm not very good at co-authoring, and I wouldn't be much fun to work with. I will study up on Xizor, perhaps I will be able to put together an Abby/Xizor exchange just for you.

DarthIshtar Ah, you know me, I'm inta making things wrong/funny. Thanks so much for reading and upping my thread! May I ask why your name is no longer blue? It was pretty!

Jaira Yeah, she deserves it for givin' up a hot guy like Anakin! Or maybe she's just hiding from him...... Anyway thanks for giving my fic support as you always do! You rock!

FelsGoddess Why thank you. Cool icon, I wonder whose eyes those are.....

kenobiwanobi Aw thanks! I'm glad you think it's wonderful, I'll try to make the last chapter live up to what you guys say it's been!

ladie_padawan lol Yeah most men are like that, as I've discovered over time. It seems you just have to accept that is what is on ALL mens minds. Thanks so much for posting, you are a great sister!

KELIA Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it, please vote!

PadwanKayla lol I thought I might get in trouble for this chapter as it was a little dirty, but it wasn't that bad, and Abby put them in their places. Please vote!

padawanlissa 'Tis a good thing.

VA_Parky I'm very much pleased you liked the update! Yes, Obi-Wan will never change, I guess he didn't think he got to do it enough while he was alive!

Mystralgurl Yes indeed, it's easy to capture such traits, as they are both the most whiny people I've ever read and/or watched. I think Anakin is more whiny, Luke seems to grow out of it. Anakin is just forever whiny.

MoeTharen Stop snorting in my drink. lol I thought you would be mad at me for that part! Ya so darn picky about everything--but you are a precious reader. And a great sis.

kimmi I love that you love it! You're welcome for the update, there is only one more left. Please vote on it!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Dear readers, the last chapter of Dear Abby is coming soon! You must vote on the last people who will write to Abby, as it will be the last update. I have included a list below of whom you are allowed to vote on, and whom is not available. If there is someone I do not have on the available list and you think should not be excluded you may suggest I add them to the voting list. Thank you all for reading, it has been an honor!

Available for voting:

An older Luke Skywalker
Xizor
Adi Gallia
Mara Skywalker
An older Jar-Jar
Padmé's ghost
Qui-Gon's Ghost
Darth Sidious's ghost

Unavailable for voting:

Han Solo
Princess Leia
Ben Skywalker
The Solo Children
Owen
Beru
Threepio
Artoo
Windu
Anyone whom I have already had write Dear Abby or is not on the available list.

Thanks!

Jasmine

 

Hmmmmmmmmm....


I'VE DECIDED!


Han Solo
Princess Leia
Ben Skywalker
The Solo Children
Owen
Beru
Threepio
Artoo
Windu




Just kidding. Ok, I'm for real now. Mara Skywalker. That is my final.



-Commander Tharen-

 

older jar jar

 

MoeTharen Oh har har hee hee ho ho!! You kill me. Ok, one vote for Mara Skywalker.

kimmi One for older Jar Jar, BUWHAHAHA! This is going to be fun.

Jasmine

 

hmmmm.... Either Older Jar jar or Qui-Gon?s Ghost .

Preferably Qui-Gon...but whatever you do has my support..

 

I want to see Xizor and if you need help I would help you please

 

My vote is for Qui-Gon's ghost. But the more the merrier!

 

Xizor. I've heard some pretty cool things about him. I would like to see someone make fun of him.

 

Mara would be interesting, I think. Her sarcasm is fascinating!

 

Mara Jade.

 

My vote goes to Padme's ghost. My second choice is Qui-gon's ghost.

No matter who 'wins'- I know I will love it! Every update has been awesome!

 

Padme's ghost or Qui-Gon

 

Sidious' ghost. I'd like to hear what his final words would be...

 

Mara Jade. Definitely Mara Jade.

 

My vote goes for Qui-Gon's ghost, but I would say that! lol

 

Sorry it took so long to catch up.I have been out of commission for a while. Anyway here is my vote.

An older Luke Skywalker
Padmé's ghost
Qui-Gon's Ghost


I can't chose just one. So, I chose these three.

Edit: acutally now that I think about it, since Anakin needs to find Padme. Padme should be the one to write next. I am curious where she is and why anakin would think she's in hell.

 

kenobiwanobi Aw thanks for voting! You votes will be tallied and added to the list, though I promise Jar Jar will be present in the last update no matter how many votes he gets.

Falcon Yes, Falcon, I know! I know you would be glad to help, but as I have said many times before I?m afraid I shall have to decline from your kind offer. It is nothing against you or your writing skills, I?m sure you are a wonderful writer and you are a great reader. Which is perhaps the reason I would not want to curse you with the stress of working with me. I?m also afraid I am just not compatible with many people in the writing field, only person I work well with is my sister, and even her and I have our problems. But I will none the less add your vote to the list and I shall do my best to present a Xizor letter you will like.

PadwanKayla Yes indeed the more the merrier, this is going to be one long update! Your vote shall be added, thanks again!

ladie_padawan Ah, I see others are in favor of the prissy prince expressing his opinions as well. Thanks for voting, you are a great sis!

dm1 She is rather sarcastic, isn?t she? She shall be fun to write. Thanks for the vote!

rabe_rocks Thanks, it shall be added!

VA_Parky Aw thanks, it has been a pleasure to read your replies throughout the entire story! Your votes shall be added immediately, thanks again, you rock!

MariaMaxwell Cool. So it was voted, shall it shall be added. I have spoken.

Jaira Indeed, his final words shall be interesting. He never did get to speak his peace, or outrage.

Mystralgurl Got it, she appears to be a consensus here.

QuiGonGal I hardly had to guess. Indeed you would say that, and I shall do my best to make an amusing letter with him just for you.

LovedAnakin Yay you?re back! I was getting worried about you lol. Don?t worry about it though, it can be really hard to keep up with fics. Thank you for your votes, they shall be added!

Number of Votes:

Jar Jar: 3
Qui_Gon?s Ghost: 7
Padmé?s Ghost: 5
Mara Skywalker: 5
Older Luke: 1
Xizor: 3
Sidious?s Ghost: 3

(Any additional votes shown here were sent in through PM, but please don?t send your votes through PM anymore, heh heh. I have trouble keeping track of them as it is. )

VOTING RULES: The amount of votes needed for a character to make it into the last chapter is 3, though additional votes are still counted. Everyone is allowed to vote as much as they want and as many times as they want for as many characters they want. Only thing is, you can't take your vote back, once you give the word it's off like a bird.

Jasmine

 

Mara and Padme

 

lol You're a quick one aren't you? I'll add them, thanks!

Jasmine

 

Ooo! Oooo! Oooo!

I get to vote more.


Prince Sizzor! I mean Snip More! Wait... It begins with an X... Is it Xizzor? Or something? You know who I'm talkin' about! The lizzard with a pony tail! The guy Falcon wants co-write! Yeah, yeah, that guy.

Also an older Jar Jar would totally rock. Jar Jar in a nursing home...

Ooo! Sidious! Put HIM in the nursing home!


-Commander Tharen-

 

lol Ok, you got it. One Shee-zoor, comin' right up!

Jasmine

 

Hey guys I'm baaack!! God I've missed this soooo much, I'm so sorry I was gone for so long. Computer and moving problems, lol don't ask. Anyhoo the last chapter is up, enjoy!

* * * * * * * * *

(Prince Xizor writes to Dear Abby)

Dear Abby,
I would not be writing to you if the situation were not serious. As I?m sure you know I am a Falleen, and going to others for advice shows lack of knowledge in our opinion, we hold ourselves in higher regard than that. Is this the part where I get to write my self-biography? Everyone else does it; I think it?s about my turn! So, what fascinating detail of my life would you like to know about? I am a ruthlessly handsome Crime Lord, I am the leader of the powerful criminal organization called Black Sun, I am the third most powerful man in the galaxy, next to Palpatine and Vader, I have a very fashionable ponytail that many feel obligated to make fun of, some people call me prejudice because I hate everyone but me, and I almost succeeded in seducing Princess Leia Organa... That didn?t go so well, I think it would be safe to say it was the low-point of my career. No one knows I have survived all these years, Guri too. We now live in an expensive mansion with the Olsen twins. Delightful, evil witches they are. Now that you have had your fun, I would like to talk about my problem. It is quite dire, and I believe it requires immediate attention. Well, every problem of mine requires immediate attention; I am after all Prince Xizor (pronounced ?Shee-zor? people! How many times do I have to tell people that before they stop calling me ?Ex zizor??!) and I must experience nothing but the finer things in life. I may resemble a reptile, but that does not mean I shouldn?t be treated with respect!

Now, about this problem of mine. You know my assistant I mentioned before, Guri, don?t you? She is my enigmatic and brutal human replica droid assassin, and she cost me a pretty penny. Well, apparently, she has a loose wire. Lately she has taken to harboring... ?Romantic tendencies?. Not towards me, if they were I wouldn?t have a problem, but no. She thinks she is in love with, dare I say it, the fridge. She thinks it is a handsome human male, and takes it everywhere with her. She even gets in fights with it, probably because it refuses to speak to her. Please help me; I haven?t eaten in days because it is impossible to get the fridge away from her.

Handsome and Hungry, in My Fancy Office

(Abby replies)

Dear Fancy Hungry,
You frighten me. But, I?ll not let that get in the way of my criticizing you. Have I mentioned how much it annoys me when people feel inclined to tell me every detail of their lives? Well it does. Very much. Stop it!!!! I just want to know your problems so I can give a half-hearted answer that will most likely ruin your life and earn my paycheck!! Now, about this assistant of yours. No, I don?t know her. She sounds like the type of person, droid, to keep her presence and identity confidential. ?Romantic tendencies?, you say? Toward an appliance? Interesting. This is certainly a first, I must say. If you have a new fridge model with computer programming, it could be its electrical and computer background that attracts her, as she is part computer I assume. Granted your loose wire theory is correct, you could simply have her repaired by a droid expert, if you can accomplish the chore of extracting her from said fridge. Best regards, Abby.

(Prince Xizor replies)

Dear Abby,
Thank you, I?m sure that will help. But I must say, I was rather disappointed. I was hoping for some rash insults or witty remarks concerning my intelligence, as you seem to grant everyone else. What? I am not worthy enough? Do you consider me inadequate to receive mockery?

Handsome and Hungry, in My Fancy Office

(Abby replies)

Dear Fancy Hungry,
You are a flaming imbecile.

(Prince Xizor replies)

Dear Abby,
Well, I?m glad to see you?re trying, but is that the best you can do? I mean honestly, how many times have I heard th

 

Well done on all these letters, but I absolutely loved the one from Sidious. the idea of him rotting in the Sith afterlife...



I'm sorry to see this "column" go. I've enjoyed it so much.

Great job all around

 

Prince Xizor and Mara's were the best lol. Great work.