Dear George,

Dear George,

I have always been very awkward around women. Ever since I was a little boy, the most that I could do around a beautiful girl was carve her some dopey wooden necklace or ask her some stupid question like, "are you an angel?" I haven't had much time since then to really get to know any cute females, what with me being in Jedi training and all, but I've recently been reacquainted with what you might call an old flame. She is remarkably beautiful and I dream about her every night - when I'm not dreaming about my mother that is. I've recently been given a great opportunity, no doubt by the will of the force. You see, she and I work together, sort of. Well, she was almost assassinated and I've been assigned to protect her as a body guard. Obviously my duties as a body guard are number one, but I would love nothing less than to marry this girl.

I am wondering exactly what it is that I need to do to gain her love, and I need advice on how to go about perusing an attractive co-worker.

- Jedi In Love



Dear In Love,

Wait? You're a Jedi? Aren't Jedi forbidden from falling in love? If you are willing to risk being expelled from the Jedi order, I have a few tips of advice for you.

Compromising a relationship with a co-worker would create a very unfortunate and awkward situation. Be sure that you really love this girl before you plan to make any moves on her. Based upon your above comments, I get the impression that you may just being seeking a "bit of action." You mention that you dream of your mother on a regular basis. This is what Freud deemed an Oedipus complex, and can come into being from long periods of abstinence.

If you do in fact love her, make sure to be subtle. When you are with her, do not ask her bold question such as "are you an angel," rather, make small talk with her. Make small talk about the weather, the state of the galaxy, or sand. If that doesn't work, have a quiet dinner for two prepared, and constantly be the gentleman. Cut her food for her, if that is what it takes! If she still hasn't come around, I suggest that you poetically tell her all of your feelings in a comfortable setting. If all else fails, you can never go wrong by getting held captive by greedy leaders of the Separatists. She will warm up to you in no time!

- George Lucas



Dear George,

I am a single father with a young son, living on a planet which is hardly suitable for raising a child. I'm a simple man, really, trying to make my way in the universe, but I fear that I am not giving my son the kind of attention that he needs. My job requires me to do a lot of traveling, and while I would like to bring my son along for the ride, I am not quite sure if he is really ready to see exactly what it is that his father does for a living. To make matters worse, he has developed into quite an angry little guy, and I am beginning to blame myself for this transition. What should I do?

- Daddy Fett



Dear Daddy,

You're predicament is typical. Except for the various Queens of Naboo, these last few years have been economically tough on everybody. I think that it is very noble that you miss your son when you travel and that you'd like to take him along with you on a few of your outings. I'd take those feelings as a sign that you should think about allowing your song to fly along with you. Perhaps you are embarrassed by your line of work, but once your son realizes that you're doing it for him, he'll love you that much more! Who knows, maybe he'll even be so inspired by the work that you do that he'll want to get involved in the same business once he, too, has a family to think about!


- George Lucas




Dear George,

I am one of the leading members of a very powerful organization. Lately, things have gotten more than a little tense around here. We've recently discovered that a clone army was created for us without our authorization. Now, we are a peace loving organization and would like to resist from using our army at all costs. However, we have also rec

 

This proves why Windy is da Man!

THE.

 

Step off, Dear Abby

 

That was great..Nice work

 

Sorry to bust your bubble, but you letter from Mace is contradicted by the follow up letter from George.

First you say from Mace:
"However, we have also recently discovered that one of our own has been captured on the planet of Geonosis by the Separatists".

But then you contradict this in your response from George:
"My suggestion: take all of the remaining members of your organization to Geonoisis, save one, whom you should send to inspect the cloning facilities"

Now the person George suggests to check out the facility is already captured but what Mace says. Am I right?

 

Great job Windy.
I like the Anakin one the best.

-Seldon

 

Mace,

What would a letter be like to George from Supreme Chancellor Palpatine?

 

Windy, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while, with the possible exception of Jack Black's song in School of Rock.

 

LOL!

Good work!

 

Brought a smile to my face today.

 

LOL, funny.

Yeah, do a Palpatine one!

 

That was great!

Ekenobi, I belive he was refering to Yoda going to check out the clone army after Palps in given emerency power.

Once again, great!

 

Classic! Very well done!

 

LMAO!

This is why I love you Windy.

 

Ah yes I stand corrected.

 

Great stuff, Windy.

 

Windy, that was some of your finest work.

 

Forget Palps, do a Jar Jar one about how he is afraid of how he will perform in the senate.

_seldon

 

Good one Windy. Almost as funny as Allston or some of the stupid theories floating around the Eu boards.

 

This is the best new thread in quite a while. It reminds me of the once popular, and much missed, Larry King's Conversations with Chancellor Palpatine in the 3SA.

 

Also, kill the man from my above letter.

LOL!! Windy, you rock!

 

you rock windy, i reckon you should do a palps one, perhaps jar jar

suggestion for jar jars psudonym: Dellow Fellegate

 

LOL!!!

You should do one from Obi-Wan too!

 

it seems like a soap opera. How funny would that be.