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Saga Dear Master, Dear Padawan- The Truth Behind Anakin's Fall, humor, updated 8/3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Feb 24, 2005.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Dear Master, Dear Padawan
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan
    Genre: humor
    Timeframe: AOTC +
    Summary: What Obi-Wan and Anakin really had to say to each other!


    Dear Master, Dear Padawan





    Dear Anakin,

    I was most surprised to hear about the wedding. Don?t you think you should have cleared something like that with me before you went ahead and got yourself attached? We have rules about this sort of thing you know.

    Your Master,
    Obi-Wan




    Dear Master Obi-Wan,

    Didn?t talk to you about it before we did it because you just would have said no. You say no to everything I might possibly enjoy. I think it's against your religion to have fun.

    You hate me. Admit it. You don?t ever let me do anything fun. Being married is fun. Some parts are really, reallyfun... Too bad you don?t know what I?m talking about. Maybe if you did you wouldn?t be so grumpy.

    Anakin




    Padawan Skywalker,

    Your last message had a definite tone to it that I certainly didn?t appreciate. You would be wise to remember that you are just a young, naïve Padawan learner and I am a sophisticated, worldly wise Jedi Master. In other words, I get to tell you what to do because I know what?s good for you.

    Master Obi-Wan





    Master Stick Up Your? Nose

    While I appreciate the fact that I am younger than you (much, much younger- not to mention better looking), I think I have seen enough of the galaxy to be able to tell if marriage is right for me or not. Go find a girl of your own and leave me alone. You just make me so angry!

    Anakin





    Dear Anakin,

    I apologize for the terseness of my last communication. As for making you angry, you seem to stay in that very unJedi-like state on a fairly constant basis. Perhaps you should consider anger management classes. I hear Master Mace teaches a very fine series. I only want what?s best for you. Surely you know that by now.

    Obi-Wan






    Dear Master,

    I don?t really think Master Windu could teach me anything, do you? My midichlorian count blasts his out of the Core. I am almost done with my mission here and was able to kill a lot of the bad guys. I think I kind of liked it. Do I get to become a knight now and get rid of this kriffin braid?

    Your Padawan (for now),
    Anakin





    Dear Padawan,

    While I know that you are anxious to begin your life as a knight, we must still face the issue of your marriage. I have not revealed your secret to the Council, but I am expecting you to do so upon your return to Coruscant.

    And don?t brag about your midichlorian count. It?s rude.

    Master Obi-Wan





    Dear Obi-Wan,

    Sounds to me like someone has midichlorian envy. Face it, some of us are endowed by the Force and some are not. You just have the misfortune to be a ?not.?

    Anakin





    Padawan,

    If you were here right now I would box your ears. You are impertinent to the extreme. I don?t see how I can be expected to mold you into a noble Jedi Knight within the lifespan of the average human. I am tempted to wash my hands of you.

    Master Obi-Wan

    P.S. Just remember you wouldn?t even be a Jedi if it weren?t for Qui-Gon. Perhaps you should be a bit more grateful! You're driving me to drink!






    Dear Master Let Me Reiterate,

    Yeah, yeah, I?ve heard it a thousand times. I?m not worthy, I?m dangerous. Blah, blah, blah. Don?t you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk? I do.

    Besides, Chancellor Palpatine tells me I?m the most gifted Jedi EVER! Stick that up your? Never mind, I won?t resort to petty insults.

    Anakin, The Chosen One




    Anakin,

    I can?t believe you still trust that man. I don?t like the way he looks at you. Please promise me you?ll be careful of him. There?s something about him that gives me the Force Willies.

    And yes, Anakin, I remember that you are the Chosen One. How can I forget? You wouldn?t answer to anything else for three months during your fifth year here. These things tend to make an im
     
  2. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 15, 1999
    LOL! This is GREAT! Ooh I love the little messages, "Don't brag about your midichlorian count, it's rude." LOL! Can't wait for more!
     
  3. JediMindTrick000

    JediMindTrick000 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2004
    my midichlorian count blasts his out of the core...

    midichlorian envy...


    Classic. :cool:

    VaderLVR, I just need to become your padawan so I can learn the true nature of the Force.
     
  4. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Another one from you, and a brilliant one at that! Midichlorian envy? Not answering to anything but 'The Chosen One' for three months? [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  5. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    LMAO!! [face_laugh] That was great! Loved the if you were here I'd boxed your ears. Hehehe And Mace teaching anger management??? LOL!!

    Great work! Can't wait for more! :D
     
  6. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Too funny! Loved that you did small communiques between them... it felt very personal. LOL!
     
  7. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Sounds to me like someone has midichlorian envy. Face it, some of us are endowed by the Force and some are not. You just have the misfortune to be a ?not.?

    LOL! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I love it, it's just way too funny! :D
     
  8. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Oh geez. [face_laugh] This is perfect.
     
  9. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    ROTFL!!

    And don?t brag about your midichlorian count. It?s rude.

    Master Obi-Wan

    Dear Obi-Wan,

    Sounds to me like someone has midichlorian envy. Face it, some of us are endowed by the Force and some are not. You just have the misfortune to be a ?not.?


    This was great! [face_laugh]

    And yes, Anakin, I remember that you are the Chosen One. How can I forget? You wouldn?t answer to anything else for three months during your fifth year here. These things tend to make an impression, and not a good one.

    And so was this!

    By the way, Padme left yesterday for some meeting. She?s back on Coruscant. Could you please go by and see her and tell her that you?re not mad at us? She seems to think you will be.

    Anakin



    Dear Anakin,

    I AM angry at you. Have I not made that clear enough


    Oh, yeah, and so was this!


     
  10. Laine_Snowtrekker

    Laine_Snowtrekker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2003
    This is soo funny--I really enjoyed reading them.

    I'd write more praise, but I've got to head to bed.
     
  11. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2002
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] this is great can't wait for more :D
     
  12. RebelScum77

    RebelScum77 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Force Willies

    [face_laugh]

    Hilarious, the whole thing.... lol, I wonder where it's going. :p
     
  13. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Kimberley this was hysterical!!! Loved all the letters!!



    And don?t brag about your midichlorian count. It?s rude.

    Master Obi-Wan

    Dear Obi-Wan,

    Sounds to me like someone has midichlorian envy. Face it, some of us are endowed by the Force and some are not. You just have the misfortune to be a ?not.?


    [face_laugh][face_laugh]
     
  14. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    [face_laugh]

    The part about the midichlorian envy almost got me busted here at work! :D

    Hilarious!
     
  15. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Haha! I like it.
     
  16. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I just got back and I'm exhausted. I will do more in-depth replies later. But I wanted to thank everyone who read this little story. More to be posted soon.
     
  17. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    As for making you angry, you seem to stay in that very unJedi-like state on a fairly constant basis.

    For some reason, I really liked this line. And the midichlorian envy part was great.

    Very fun!
     
  18. Ana_Labris

    Ana_Labris Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2000
    *snortle*
    *giggle*
    *insane giggle*

    That was HYSTERIAL! MORE!
     
  19. mixza

    mixza Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2004
    LOL! this is hilarious! Love it! :D
     
  20. Arin_Atona

    Arin_Atona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2004
    *bursts into laughter*

    She's gone and done it again...
     
  21. DarthArwen

    DarthArwen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Great work VaderLRV64! This is certainly an unusual addition to the boards, I hope you continue! We all need a little humour on here sometimes :p

    Midichlorian envy... [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  22. Marmida

    Marmida Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 2004
    That was just too [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    I loved it!
    Marmida
     
  23. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    ROFLMAO!
     
  24. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Hee hee hee hee hee. [face_laugh] Lovely. I loved how it went downhill with each communication too.

    I shan't quote favorite lines because many have been covered by others and if I do it'll just go on forever...

    KD
     
  25. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    :D Really funny. Anakin being so self-centered is well captured. And I like Obi-Wan's desperate attempts at staying calm. Very cool.
     
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