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Saga Demons in my Sanctuary: A/P, Obi-Wan, Sabe, OC's, pre-RotS mystery: Sequel goes up tonight!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Luna_Nightshade, Apr 10, 2006.

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  1. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Title: Demons in My Sanctuary
    Author: Luna_Nightshade
    Time Period: pre-RotS, RotS
    Characters: Padmé, Anakin, handmaidens, Naberrie family, Bail Organa, Obi-Wan, cameos, etc. Basically the entire crew, focusing on those named.
    Synopsis: When Padmé discovers that she is pregnant, she chooses to tell both Anakin and her family right away by meeting them all in a secret rendezvous on Naboo. What Anakin and Padmé see there will drastically change the course of the galaxy, forcing them to face the darkness together.

    [image=http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f397/Alley_411/DIMS.jpg] Thank you, Alley_Skywalker, for the fantastic cover!

    I do not profess to be a Clone Wars scholar. Therefore, I apologize in advance if I say something that goes directly against your knowledge of the Clone Wars. Please remember that this is an AU, so anything? except flying toasters? goes.

    Yes, the title does come from an obscure song, "It's Alright," by Reggie Hamm.

    Also, if you came here from [link=http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23223185/p1/?155]Never a Master[/link], I love you and adore you and offer you this ginormous plate of chocolate chip cookies.


    Everything contained within this fic belongs to George Lucas and company. I am only playing. I am not making any profit off this, nor will I ever make any profit off of this.

    Planned updates every Monday

    Chapter One

    Padmé Amidala Skywalker?s past, present, and future could all be found resting on the pale beige tiles of her ?fresher floor.

    She pressed her damp forehead lightly against her bare knees and clutched Anakin?s tunic tighter around her shoulders. Normally, the faint, sweet smell that lingered in his clothing comforted her, but now it only made her nauseous. The burn was heavy against the back of her throat, but she resisted the thought of throwing up what tiny amount of water she had drank twenty minutes earlier. Throwing up meant going to the toilet, and going to the toilet meant that she would see It, sitting on the floor just inches from her bare feet.

    She wasn?t sure exactly why she was so afraid to look at the pregnancy test. Deep inside of her, she knew, without the tiny device to tell her. It had been almost three weeks since she had last seen Anakin? last loved him? last knew him. Something had changed after he had left three weeks ago just after his knighting. It had been almost imperceptible at first, like a faint brush of warm air against the back of her neck. She had felt more alive, more aware, more sensitive then. The sunlight had been harsher and the nights longer. Then had came the headache?the splitting pain at the top of her head that spread down to her temples the very moment Bail greeted her in the Senate Atrium with four datapads worth of information on his proposed Rebel Alliance last week, and had not left since. The truth of the situation had seemed almost unavoidable once she started vomiting every morning? yet it had been little Moteé who had gone to the medcenter posing as if she were pregnant herself, then had come back to boldly thrust the pregnancy test into Padmé?s hand. It had taken another day for her to even convince Padmé to take it.

    Maybe if she prolonged seeing the truth, she could prevent its consequences.

    It truly was the consequences of this child, and not the child itself, that Padmé feared.

    Padmé did know how to be selfish. Her entire life had been spent serving others, making decisions in their best interests as Queen or as Senator. She had only tried being selfish once, by marrying Anakin, and even then she had to suffer in silence as he spent more time protecting the rest of the galaxy than in her own bed. How could she ask him to be a real father for their child? It would mean that he would have to leave the Order, leave Obi-Wan, and renounce the Knighthood that he had worked for. She had no doubt that he would. But she just couldn?t ask him? not when the galaxy needed his help so much now. Sh
     
  2. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Excellent start to a really awesome short story! I really like how you've captured so much of the feelings and characterization right off the bat. =D= BRAVO!!!

    This is one of the better beginnings to a story that I've seen in a long time:

    Padmé Amidala Skywalker?s past, present, and future could all be found resting on the pale beige tiles of her ?fresher floor.

    Brilliant!
     
  3. Mirik

    Mirik Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 2005
    love the story ))
    plz, put me on the pm list )
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wow! I can't wait to see what happens!

    She was carrying a child. This was her family. The Naberrie family. The Skywalker family.

    For some reason I just loved that line, it said so much about what MIGHT have been, if different choices had been made!

    Bravo! =D=

    And could you PM me when you update? [face_praying] Please?
     
  5. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    She was carrying a child. This was her family. The Naberrie family. The Skywalker family.

    ^I agree with Kim, that line held so much and I loved it[face_love].

    And Wow, I loved this start Luna=D=, and I can?t wait for more. Oh, and could you add me to the pm list[face_praying] .
     
  6. jaina_clan_solo

    jaina_clan_solo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2005
    Wow! I really liked this! Your writing drew me in instantly. This is well crafted, and the emotions are shown so well.

    I can't wait to see how Padmé telling Anakin sooner will affect the future.

    =D=

    could I get a pm too please? :D

    jcs
     
  7. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Very nice beginning.

    I really like that Padme is not trying to hide her pregnancy. That's a burden she shouldn't have to carry alone.

    If you have a PM list, I'd love to be added [face_praying]

    Looking forward to more

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  8. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Ohh...I really like this fic :)

    Obi-Wan snores? Lol.

    If you have a PM list please pu me on it :)
     
  9. anakinsangelover

    anakinsangelover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2006
    I'm loving this so far!!!!!!!!!! heh keep going
     
  10. FitJedi

    FitJedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2006
    Such an ingenius way of looking at things. Can't wait to see where you go with this but please add me to the pm list, I'm loving it.
     
  11. HandmaidenVeme

    HandmaidenVeme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2004
    This sounds like it's going to be a great story. Please add me to your PM list.
     
  12. JediArym

    JediArym Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2005
    I like your fic and I would like to read more. :)

    Please add me to your PM list.
     
  13. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    *Glides into the thread, trying to act composed* [face_plain]

    *Gives up*

    SQUEEEE!!!! A new story from Luna_Nightshade! [face_dancing] And wow, does it ever look good! Oh, I love the whole premise of this story and the first chapter hooked me and shows no signs of letting me go.

    I love the way you write Padme's friendship with her handmaidens - it's adorable!! And Anakin sweetly replacing Obi-wan's blanket before peeking at a holo of Padme... [face_love]

    I can't wait for the next update! I'm so excited to see what's coming next!

    Great work! =D= If you have a PM list, please put me at the top!
     
  14. Mr_Dagobah

    Mr_Dagobah Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2005
    I think I'm going to really like this story. The beginning of a fic can just give you that idea, and this one is bellowing it. Lol! Please add me to your PM list. Thanks![face_peace]
     
  15. Darth-Buddy

    Darth-Buddy Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2005
    Wonderful start. I really love this one. You write so fluently, I can't wait to read more.=D=
     
  16. Darth_Father-in-law

    Darth_Father-in-law Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    I loved the beginning, Luna! =D=
    It was very emotional, and the idea is interesting.

    I will definitely read this story.

    Please PM me when you update! :D

     
  17. AnakinsFavorite

    AnakinsFavorite Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Ooh... I can really imagine this happening. Very good job! Please post soon!
     
  18. michaellover

    michaellover Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 30, 2005
    Anakin is in for a surprise!! wonder if he is ging to react like in the movie

    Can I be added to your Pm list? thanks [:D]
     
  19. obsessedwithSW

    obsessedwithSW Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Excellent beginning Luna! I enjoyed the insight into PAdme's views. Please pm me when you update.
     
  20. WendyGage

    WendyGage Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 1, 2006
    This story is awesome
    Please add me to the pm list
     
  21. Noelie

    Noelie Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2005
    She pressed her damp forehead lightly against her bare knees and clutched Anakin?s tunic tighter around her shoulders. Normally, the faint, sweet smell that lingered in his clothing comforted her, but now it only made her nauseous. The burn was heavy against the back of her throat, but she resisted the thought of throwing up what tiny amount of water she had drank twenty minutes earlier. Throwing up meant going to the toilet, and going to the toilet meant that she would see It, sitting on the floor just inches from her bare feet.

    Been here, done this, felt this, forget the test.. I knew what it was and so does Padme, hehe [face_blush]

    "Padmé!? Sabé?s voice from beyond the bathroom door was fiercely impatient. ?Padmé, we?re dying out here! What does it say?? There was a distinct scratching at the door, and Padmé could only imagine Sabé, Dormé, and Moteé hovering behind it on top of each other as they vied for who would be the first to know the news. Someone giggled.

    Padmé smiled against her bare knees despite herself. Nothing fazed those three.


    Yup, nothing like friends to help a girl through it especially with her man elsewhere!

    Anakin needed to be told. This went above and beyond the war. She could not keep this secret from him. At the end of the day, when she went to sleep wearing her necklace of japor, she was still Anakin?s wife and he was still her husband, regardless of this war or the Senate. He deserved to know

    I always wondered what kept her from contacting him in some way before the movie scene. That would seem to be the 'normal' thing to do, but then what is 'normal' in Star Wars.

    An unnatural sound tore through the silence of the night air, and Anakin startled. He turned his head to look at the still form of his former Master, sleeping the sleep of the unburdened. Obi-Wan had always been able to sleep in any situation, with his head tilted back and mouth wide open, and bantha-like snores just loud enough to torture Anakin even in his dreams. This time, however, his Master?s peace was soothing. Anakin smiled softly, reaching out with his good hand to gently pull Obi-Wan?s displaced blanket further up him. Obi-Wan only sleepily grunted at the motion.

    I had read once of a man that really existed that was said to be able to do this, that his clear conscience allowed him to drop the cares of the world to be able to sleepn anywhere and in anyplace, so perhaps unwittingly you gave us the best view of Obi-Wan there is. It is sweet to have Anakin cover him more.

    Great start Luna!
     
  22. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Whoa. I can't wait to see where this goes! Great idea!

    jazz
     
  23. MoAngel

    MoAngel Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2005
    This is indeed how the great ones start. Please add me to your growing PM list.

    Mo
     
  24. jedi_princess18

    jedi_princess18 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 7, 2005
    Loved it. Can't wait for more!

    Please PM me when you update!
     
  25. flyingcolours

    flyingcolours Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2005
    Amazing start! =D=

    Please add me to your PM list for updates, thanks. :)
     
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