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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Descent Into The Dark (EU, Yoda 300 years before TPM)--*Complete* Replies 7/31- Link to EotD posted!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jul 15, 2005.

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  1. jpauln

    jpauln Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 3, 2005
    Good job as always! Poor Yoda, finding it increasingly more difficult to control his emotions as he struggles to protect his home from an unknown danger. Having everyone else doubt his vision makes it even worse. I see strong parallels between his struggle and Anakin?s.
     
  2. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    In the movie, Palpy talked about those who had power fearing to lose it.

    What Yoda needs to understand at this point in the story, is the corrolary to that thought; namely, that those without power, fear those who do have it.
     
  3. Shadowolf

    Shadowolf Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 4, 2005
    Migruna becomes more real every time you post a section! The detail you've put into this world (and will prolly continue to put in) is wonderful. She's going to be very helpful in keeping Yoda from spiraling out of control I imagine, though woe be unto the darksider that tries to mess with her! There's a lot of unchecked emotion running through Yoda that's very surprising to see, though I imagine if our homeworld was in the kind of danger he senses Migruna's in we'd be pretty darned emotional too!

    Great job, Souderwan!
     
  4. Jek_Windu

    Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2003
    This is really good! Thanks for the invite. It's nice to see someone capture the character of a younger Yoda so well. And I also like how you parrallel the plights of Yoda and Anakin. All in all, great job- can't wait for more.
     
  5. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Hello everybody! :) It's my favorite time of the week! Mail call!! Let me just start off by saying thanks for all your responses! I've been working really hard on this story and it's great to know that it's appreciated. [:D]

    Timpenin: Welcome! [:D] And, to top it off, you are officially awarded the First-Post Award! :D I am so pleased you decided to delurk! It's always fun to hear what people think about the story. Glad you're liking the character work. I'm a big believer in character. :) BTW, you never know when you might see something beyond what I intended to convey, so don't hesitate to share your thoughts (it's happened twice on this story alone and several times during Fall of The Sith).

    mithrissa: And if I enjoy it more with a scalpel in one hand and red pen in the other, who can blame me? Well...I can. I mean...couldn't you consider using some anesthesia? I mean...sometimes, when you're done with me, you don't need ink in your pen--you can just use all my spilt blood! ;)

    I also loved the moment, when, having failed to find peace in his esoteric, cerebral connection to the Force, Yoda instead finds peace in the beauty of Migruna, which is of course, the essence of the Force itself - the flow of life, of energy, between all things. I think this is a profound and beautiful moment, which evokes the awe and reverence that so many of us feel in the presence of nature.

    Glad you liked it. When trying to find an effective way to show Yoda's connection with nature and the beauty of Migruna III, I remembered a moment I had growing up in Jamaica that was very similar to this one. Like they say...write what you know, eh?

    Anakins_Force: You're absolutely right. The Yoda you know would find away to release his attachment. He would be calm and passive. He would submit to the "Will of the Force." Hmm...much to learn, he still has. ;)

    Darth_Lutgerous: How far into the story are we percentage wise? I do think that we still have to find out more about the terrors Yoda is experiencing and therefore maybe only 30 or 40 percent in. I'd say we're closer to 5%! LOL! [face_laugh] Ok..seriously? I know this sounds horrible, but I'm not entirely sure. There are some necessary plot points that will take one post. Others (like Yoda's conflict, for example) will take several. If I were to venture a guess, then I'd say 30 or 40 percent (which is to say: Your guess is as good as mine! ;) )

    DARTH_DIABLO: Layers! Onions have layers--Ogres have layers!! Ummm...I mean...migru have layers. :D Thanks!

    Watto-: I love that movie ('cause it was the first time I'd ever seen Jet Li! I love Jet Li!! I even liked The One!). Anyway..thanks for dropping by. :)

    jpauln: Yeah...Yoda doesn't handle people doubting him very well. BTW, don't you have a certain story you're supposed to be working on? Hmmmm? I'm rather waiting to see where you go next there, buddy! PM me when you update!

    Arcalian: It's insights like that one that makes me excited to work with you in the near future! :D ITA. Yoda needs to understand that fear is always born from the unknown. And those with extra power are unknowns.

    Shadowolf: I love that you and mithrissa see Migruna III as a character in and of herself! Thank you. Sometimes, building a world is hard work. It's fun, but it's hard. I'm happy to know that you think my efforts are paying off.

    Jek_Windu: Thanks for coming!! [:D] I'm really happy you're enjoying the story so far! I hope you enjoy where I go with it next.


    Ok everybody, that's it for now. I've officially started on the next post. I know I'm not pumping them out at the same rate as I did with Fall of The Sith, but hopefully you think the quality has gone up as a fair exchange. I expect to post in the next few days...

     
  6. Lord_Zeron

    Lord_Zeron Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2005
    I'm really starting to feel sorry for Yoda. His intentions are good, but it seems he just doesn't have enough power or influence to save his people. I'm sure the destruction of Migruna, if the vision comes true, will be one of the key events that turns Yoda to the dark side. And the way things are going, it doesn't look good for the migru. I can't wait to see what Yoda's next move is going to be. Take as much time as you need to write the next post great, I'll be sure to read whenever it's posted.

     
  7. Talon_Kenobi

    Talon_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Thanks for the PM Sounderwan. You really have the star wars characters down
     
  8. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Hey everybody...still delayed. DRL has rared his ugly head and lightsabered me! My writing hand has been severed just below the elbow joint and my mechanical replacement got lost in the mail. They're FedExing me a new one right now and I expect it to come in any day. In the mean time, I'm typing one handed, so it might take a while. I expect to post before the weekend, though. My sincere apologies.

    Lord_Zeron: I feel sorry for Yoda, too. In fact, I've always kinda felt sorry for the little guy (well, except in the PT when I thought he needed a whack upside the head on more than one occasion). I guess that's why I'm writing this--so that people will feel for him like I do. :) Thanks for your patience. You'll get something to read very soon, hopefully.

    Talon_Kenobi: Welcome! [:D] Thanks.
     
  9. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Author's note: This is the end of Chapter 4. Sorry it took so long to post. DRL is not dead but he has been sent packing for a bit. My new arm came in and I have emerged from my bacta tank and been able to type.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ?I?m not sure why you would think I would leave a Council-ordered mission in the first place!?

    ?Assumed, I did, that concerned you might be.? Yoda?s face did not hide his contempt for Yaddle?s exasperation. His jaw was set and his mouth moved only enough to utter his words through gritted teeth. ?Mistaken, clearly I was.?

    ?Don?t be like that, Yoda.? Yaddle?s face softened and her voice lowered.

    ?Master Yoda, Jedi Yaddle. Earned the title, I have.? Yaddle?s lips drew tight but she only lowered her eyes and nodded. Yoda frowned at the realization that he had just chastised Yaddle for the same thing that Taru loved to complain about.

    ?Of course, Master Yoda. Forgive me.? She raised her chin and looked Yoda in the eyes through their HoloNet connection. Yoda nodded and smiled weakly.

    ?Taught Rizza well, you have. More advanced than most padawans, she is.?

    Yaddle?s eyes widened momentarily. A thoughtful expression crossed her face before she broke into a smile.

    ?Thank you, Yoda. But I can?t really claim credit. Rizza left my side nearly thirty years ago. I had taught her what I could but she didn?t seem to be grasping everything very well. It was why I never allowed her to make a lightsaber, although she constantly requested it. She planned on returning to Migruna III after touring some ruins she found interesting in the outer rim systems. Clearly, she?s been working hard in the intervening years to earn such high praise from you.?

    Yoda?s hand went to his chin as his eyebrows knitted in contemplation. ?Impressive, indeed, she has become. To learn such skill on her own, amazing it is. Rudimentary her technique is. But sound, her efforts are. Easily trained, she will be. Proud of this accomplishment, you should be Yaddle.?

    ?I am. Thank you Master Yoda.? Yoda nodded in response. ?What are you planning to do, exactly??

    ?Unclear, my path is. Difficult to say, how imminent the danger is. Across the galaxy, several migru will go. If come to pass, my dream does, save our culture we will.?

    ?And what about you? Assuming that your premonition holds true, what do you hope to accomplish there? From what Rizza described to me, it seems that there is nothing you can do if the attack occurs. What if you?re unable to intercept the attacking force soon enough? Perhaps you should consider evacuating yourself.?

    Yoda?s breath caught in his chest. He glared at Yaddle with widening eyes. ?Leave Migruna III??

    ?Yoda, if something does happen with you on the planet, what would happen? You?re too valuable to the Order to allow yourself to be killed needlessly.?

    Yoda?s jaw dropped several centimeters, his mouth forming a perfect circle. Slowly he brought his mouth closed and narrowed his eyes, a look of determination building.

    ?The same as theirs, my fate will be! Yoda out.?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    ?The heart of the blade, the crystal is.?

    Rizza knelt on the damp dirt floor of the darkened cave, eyes closed, deep in concentration. Her breathing was silent and steady as she manipulated the disparate parts of her lightsaber. All that could be heard in the chamber was the muted utterances of the Jedi Master who stood before her. The light from two small lanterns on opposite corners of the alcove cast dim shadows across Yoda?s impassive face.

    ?The crystal of the Jedi, the heart is.?

    The green crystal settled neatly in the focusing chamber in the lower hilt of the lightsaber.

    ?The crystal of the Force, the Jedi is.?

    The upper hilt mated seamlessly with the lower hilt.

    ?The blade of the heart, the Force is.?

    Several imperceptible intricate adjustments were made inside the suspended lightsaber handle that would enable the blade to function.

    ?Intertwined, a
     
  10. Darth-Lutgerous

    Darth-Lutgerous Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Sounderwan, great post, but the contents of your chapter are repeated twice. You may want to fix that. ;) And in this line: "Taught Rizza well, you have. More advanced that most padawans, she is," that should be than. (It's the sixth paragraph.) The conversation with Yaddle was really interesting, as well as the conflict between Yoda and Rizza over lightsabers. I wonder who this Iktotchi is and how Yoda will deal with him. [face_thinking] Nice job once again.
     
  11. jpauln

    jpauln Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 3, 2005
    I'm not sure if you've noticed but you double posted the chapter. :confused: :oops:

    But besides that little *hiccup* ;) I thought this was a good post. I am interested to see if Rizza's training came from temples of the dark side persuasion. She didn't (knowingly or unknowingly) bring this darkness with her did she?
     
  12. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    Great stuff here, Souderwan. I'm even starting to like your Yoda a little bit... ;):)

    I love it! =D=
     
  13. Darth_Scroobius

    Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2005
    ?Mistaken, clearly I was.? - Yoda pulling out the sarcasm. Excellent.

    ?The same as theirs, my fate will be! Yoda out.? - Very nice, subtle ROTS reference here, with Yoda as the headstrong one.

    I've been a little remiss in posting, but I have continued to read and enjoy this story. Hopefully, some light will soon be shed on who the bad guy is. I have a hunch that it isn't the Iktotchi, but I could be wrong.
     
  14. Anakins_Force

    Anakins_Force Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005


    Yoda whirled so quickly that Rizza barely recognized the motion. She never saw his lightsaber detach itself from his belt and land smoothly into the Jedi Master?s palm. Her eyes barely caught the rapid ignition of Yoda?s green blade as the smell of ozone assailed her senses. Yoda stood between her and the mouth of the cave.


    This description is perfect--I could see the action unfold.

    This fic reads like a professional novel--you know I'm impatient so I'm ready for the rest! Keep up the hard work.
     
  15. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    The penny drops....and up till now I was so sure his pupil was in fact being influened by the Dark Side....but maybe I'm not wrong about that?[face_thinking]
     
  16. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Darth-Lutgerous: Thanks for the heads-up! Must have screwed that up in the cut and paste process! [face_blush] Should have known that post seemed way longer than I knew it to be. :oops:

    You'll learn a little bit about the Iktotchi guy in the next post (due out this weekend). :)

    jpauln: Thanks for pointing out my little hiccup! :) I feel pretty dumb. *sheepish grin* I am interested to see if Rizza's training came from temples of the dark side persuasion. She didn't (knowingly or unknowingly) bring this darkness with her did she?

    My Beta asked me if this was relevant to the story or if I was intentionally throwing out a red herring. I'll tell you the same thing I told her: "Well...what do you think? ;)"

    rhonderoo: [:D] Thanks! Hopefully, everybody will at least grow to understand our little green friend a little bit more than they did by the end of this story.

    Darth_Scroobius: Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you're still reading. As for who the bad guy is, what makes you think there's only one? Or that it's a guy? LOL! [face_laugh] Stay tuned, I promise all will be made clear.

    Anakins_Force: [face_blush] Thank you so much. I promise, I'm working on it as fast as I can.

    Arcalian: What on earth would give you that idea?? :eek: Seriously, though...you never know how things are going to turn out. Well...I do, of course...but...never mind.

    All: Thanks for the comments. I have a bit of rewriting to do on the next post--it was coming out all wrong. I expect to have it ready for my Beta sometime tonight and maybe post 24-48 hours after that. Hope to see you all soon.


     
  17. Baby_Death_Star

    Baby_Death_Star Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Hi Souderwan!

    Sorry, I had some technical problems ... but now everything is back to normal.
    I like that image of that Iktotchi ... like a bull in a arena, ready to storm.

    Here's the updated pdf again:
    "Descent Into the Dark" by Souderwan, pdf, 52pg, 250KB

    I'm going to show some friends I'm gonna meet in the UK next week this great Yoda novel, I hope they'll like it as much as I do!
     
  18. Lord_Zeron

    Lord_Zeron Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Talk about a cliffhanger. I can't wait to see who the Iktotchi is. Since his eyes seem to be burning with rage, I'm guessing he's not one of the good guys. I don't think I've ever heard of an Iktotchi before, did you just create them? If you did, than that was an excellent description, I always have a lot of trouble making up new species.

    I liked the conversation between Yoda and Yaddle, almost as if they were trying to argue without arguing. I also was happy to have recognized the lightsaber building ritual from the Clone Wars cartoon, and I liked how you gave a migru touch to it with all of the sentenses switched around.

    Rizza's starting to remind me of a young Obi-Wan a bit, arguing with her master, but then realizing her mistake and apologizing for it. I'll be looking forward to seeing what happens between Yoda and the Iktotchi.

    :)
     
  19. Shadowolf

    Shadowolf Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    May 4, 2005
    ?The same as theirs, my fate will be! Yoda out.?

    Like Anakin, Yoda sounds. Hee!:D

    The lesson about the crystal, the lightsaber, and the Force sounds familiar...where've I seen something like that before? No matter what it's a wonderful section, I've always thought that building the lightsaber probably encompassed a major test of a Jedi's training, nice to see how the construction can be turned into a lesson...almost a ceremony as well.

    Rizza needs to learn a little discipline...backtalking a Master, being impatient...hmm, yep, sounds a bit like other padawans we've seen! And just who's this Iktotchi that's got a beef with ol' Yoda?
     
  20. Rassick

    Rassick Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2004
    ?No training do you require. Know that which you need, you already do.? Reminds me a bit of ROTJ.

    And the part about the crystal, the lightsaber, and the Force...there was something similar in one of the Volume 1, Season 2 Clone Wars cartoons. It was the one with Luminara and Barriss in the ice cave. Still, it was nicely translated here. :)

    Pretty good post overall, Soudy! =D= Green vs. green, should be interesting. I figured Rizza had more sinister motives in wanting to get more lightsaber training (i.e., being able to take on Yoda). If only this story were set 313 years later, she could've gone to see Cin Drallig if she wanted to become a swordmaster! :D
     
  21. Krayus_Korianis

    Krayus_Korianis Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2005
    I am a big fan of your work Souderwan, especially FotS, it rocked.

    This is completely brilliant, I always crave stuff about Yoda and here it is=D=

    Please PM me for the next update?[face_praying]
     
  22. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Hey everbody!! Next post is coming right up after this little reply!

    Baby_Death_Star: No worries, dude! Always happy when you can stop by. My friends at work thank you for your continued .pdf conversions. They're too lazy to go online and read. :D

    Glad you like the Iktotchi. :)

    Lord_Zeron: I had to try and work at least one cliffhanger in! [face_devil] They will be farther and fewer in between in this story than FoTS. FoTS had plenty of opprotunities for them!

    I don't think I've ever heard of an Iktotchi before, did you just create them?

    Actually, Master Saeese Tinn is an Iktotchi. I thought about making a brand new species, but I though Master Tinn's species fit the bill perfectly.

    Interesting that you see a similarity between Rizza and Obi-Wan. Hmm...[face_thinking] Cool! :)

    Shadowolf: Yes...our Yoda has many similarities to a certain chosen one. :) Perhaps that attitude is born from high midichlorian counts? ;)

    Yes...you did indeed see this same lesson. I took it from the Clone Wars microseries (Lord_Zeron and Rassick also noticed this--good job). That's entirely intentional. When I saw that scene, I always pictured it as a 25,000 year old Jedi tradition. So naturally, I had to use it! :)

    As for Rizza's behavior and the Iktotchi...all will become clear.

    Rassick: If that line reminds you of RoTJ, that's good. It's pretty much a direct quote! LOL! I don't think you can expect to see too much green vs. green in the near future. :) Cin Drallig would have been an excellent teacher!

    Krayus_Kroianis: Welcome! [:D] Glad to have you. I'll be PMing you in about 5 minutes. :)

     
  23. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    --------------------------------The Sith-----------------------------------------

    Cold.

    Frigid winds of the Force swept across Yoda from the Iktotchi intruder. Yoda shut his eyes tight against the sensation. Calling on the Force, Yoda drove the bile that threatened to erupt back into his stomach.

    Yoda?s lips tightened and his knuckles grew white around the hilt of his lightsaber as he opened himself to the Force. Energy poured into the Jedi Master and wrapped itself around him. The invisible power churned so fiercely that the dust at his feet began to swirl about him. Slowly, the darkness faded. Warmth spread through the Jedi Master?s body and feeling returned to his finger tips.

    Fiery green eyes unsealed beneath a furrowed brow.

    ?I?ve been waiting for this a long time, Yoda,? the Iktotchi growled.

    ?At a disadvantage, have me, you do.? Yoda?s voice was steady and his eyes remained fixed on the creature. ?Know you, I do not.?

    ?Who I am doesn?t matter, Jedi! All you need to worry about it is whether or not I?ll kill your lady-friend, too.?

    A rustle of air accompanied Rizza?s sudden movement, bringing her to Yoda?s left side, her lightsaber ignited in the classic Soresu defensive stance. She set her jaw and gripped her lightsaber softly?just as she had been taught. Yoda?s eyes widened. Rizza kept her gaze fixed on the creature that stood at the mouth of the cave.

    ?Find me an easy target, you will not!? Her voice was calm. Her breath was measured. The Jedi Master regarded Rizza in the Force but found only darkness surrounding him. Yoda frowned. ?Unwise it would be, if choose to face both of us, you do.?

    Yoda glanced sidelong at Rizza, troubled. Maintaining his concentration in the Force, Yoda nodded slightly and turned to face the Iktotchi. The creature?s eyes narrowed but lost none of their intensity. His mouth drew into a tightlipped smile that spread to show his sharpened teeth.

    ?Brave girl, aren?t you?? He raised his hand and gestured. Rocks tore free from the walls and hurtled towards the two migru Jedi.

    Rizza and Yoda dissolved into a haze of green, leaping and bouncing off the boulders that flew at them. Their green blades sliced through the rocks they couldn?t dodge. The Iktotchi?s grin widened as the two entered the short narrow tunnel that separated the grotto from the entrance.

    The sound of rock being torn asunder halted. Yoda and Rizza landed smoothly, Yoda in front with his blade angled towards the Iktotchi.

    ?How typical! Do you Jedi think your dancing can save you from my power?!? The Iktotchi?s face contorted into a look of disgust. The sound of Rizza?s ragged breathing filled the air.

    The creature raised his hand.

    Yoda stood ready.

    Rizza calmed her breathing.

    The roof above them came crashing down.

    A muted warning in the Force, and Yoda leapt away.

    Rizza was not so lucky.

    ?Rizza!!? Yoda turned frantically, his heart pounding against his chest. He barely registered the creature?s maniacal laughter. Wide eyes desperately searched the mountain of rubble. ?Rizza!!?

    Nothing.

    Sweat formed along Yoda?s palms, making them slick as he tried to pull away small rocks from the heap.

    ?Rizza!!?

    A lump formed in his throat and held his breath at bay.

    ?Rizza!!?

    His hands shook uncontrollably as he dug his nails into the dirt and rock.

    ?Rizza!!?

    ?Can...not?talk?now?? The muffled sounds came from the center of the rubble.

    Yoda sighed. Resting his palms on the rocks, he bowed his head and breathed deeply, searching the rubble in the Force. He ripped through the dark wall that blocked his vision. An eon of moments later, he found Rizza kneeling in the center of the collapse, eyes closed in concentration. She held the rubble aloft around her, making a small pocket within which she was temporarily safe. Yoda sighed.

    With a gesture, several large boulders lifted from the makeshift prison that ensconced his padawan.

    ?Now Yoda?you don?t really think I?m going to stand here and wait while you pry her free now do you??

    Yoda sighe
     
  24. DARTH-DIABLO

    DARTH-DIABLO Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 18, 2005
    Awesome stuff again Souderwan!
    Looks like Yoda is pulling a Samuel L. and going medevil on that unfortunate Sith.
    Keep up the good work.
     
  25. Krayus_Korianis

    Krayus_Korianis Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2005
    simply amazing, Yoda rules=D=
     
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