Descriptions for the Humorous Versions

Note: Since this is a flier, I decided to post it in Resource because it fits no where else. Feel free to copy paste and print out and email and spread this all over the world and back. You have my permission.-Brent Lee Sohlden Koivopolo V


The Star Wars Humorous Versions-



The funniest parodies on

the Internet-period.



THE PREQUEL TRILOGY:



THE PHANTOM MENACE

HUMOROUS VERSION



The Battle for NuhBOO is on as two Jedi, Li-Gon Jinn-n-Tonic and Ob-Ewan McNobi race against time in the Queen's Royal Starship to Courseyoucantnameit to contact Supreme Cameo Valium. Along the way they are stranded on the desert Planet of Patootie where they meet a young boy, who may e Vader someday later but for now he's just a small fry....



ATTTACK OF THE CLONES

HUMOROUS VERSION



The investigation is on (the Battle is on, the Investigation is on, eh, go figure) as Ob-Ewan McNobi investigates (okaaay, that's kindof redundant....) the trail of a would be assassin as Manakin Streetwalker escorts his lovely bride to be Patme Amidala to her homeworld of NuhBOO to romance-er-ensure that she is safe from those who won't stop holding a grudge they've been holding for ten years....












DELIVERANCE

HUMOROUS VERSION



The Honeymoon is on (oh would you stop it with this is on, that is on? Be a little more original....) Ok, how's this....Join Manakin, Patme and Commanders Reeks and Coody on a canoe ride where they encounter two men with very evil intentions and...well you know the plot of Deliverance. Considering that Manakin is armed with a brightsabre and the Clone Troops are packing heat it's not likely to have the same outcome as in the classic movie set in the backwoods of Alabama, but at least those mosquitos pose somewhat of a threat, and Manakin refuses to wear a life vest and doesn't see rapids as dangerous. He does play a mean Banjo though....





THE CLONE WARS

HUMOROUS VERSION



War rages across the galaxy as Clown Troops sing, dance, sing some more and generally blast the crap out of wave after wave of Tinker drones, led by Jedi Generals. Asajj Floorvent, Count Doodu and General Greedy continue to be manipulated by Darth Chin in a 100% pointless endless war where Chin is playing both sides like a harp from hell, intending to perform a coup de grace that will see every Jedi deader than a doornail and himself the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy....because Supreme Cameos just aren't nearly as cool as Emporers. Ahsoka Bratto begins her career as Manakin Streetwalker's snippy though uncannily always right apprentice and Master Yoga fights his own polar opposite, Bindu refuses to take any side but favors the dark half the time and the light the other half the time and Bludgeon swears vengeance on McNobi, who left him for dead on NuhBOO-wait in Episode III McNobi will leave Manakin or Vacuous for dead on Mustafarfaraway—do we see a pattern emerging here??





REVENGE OF THE SITH

HUMOROUS VERSION



The revenge is on (groan! Now we're back to this again) sorry, as Patme sits out this entire film barefoot and pregnant because Nat Portman and George Lucas had a little falling out (And is it even Manakin's child, considering she's had every single male clone and plenty of Ob-Ewan and Manakin's been away for a while?(--wait, wasn't Ob-Ewan with Manakin in the Outer Rim sieges?! Oh, right, there were those times Ob-Ewan told Manakin to hold down the fort while he traveled back to Coruscant from time to time to 'pick up fresh supplies'-he was 'picking up fresh supplies' for weeks at a time sometimes as Manakin was left to fight alone)....Well, be that as it may, now Supreme Cameo Palpitatine is taking steps to seduce Manakin to the Dark Side of the Force. If that includes telling him nonsensical fairie tales and promising him he can improve on his baking skills as he will get the benefit of using the best Sith muffin recipes, then will Manakin give in to hate, and to his stomach, and will the Clown Troops ever get Order 71 right..or is it Order 62...84? Can Master Yoga stop Emporer Chin from taking over the galaxy? Will Ob-Ewan be able to stop Manakin from living one more second as a Sith Apprentice and stop him from...uh...living? Will Peter Cushing's face be better looking than it is in Episode III the next time they Deep Fake it in Rouge One? Because Marcus and Lee are Ob-Ewan's kids will Vacuous ever be able to say 'I am your father' two films from now? What it the point of all the end battles if we already know all the main characters survive til the next films?....










THE GOLDEN ORIGINAL TRILOGY

A NEW HOPE
HUMOROUS VERSION

The Call to Adventure is on (oh, I give up.....) as Marcus Streetwalker comes into the possession of two Droids who will compel him to face his Destiny as he meets a Crazy old Space wizard, a half-blind and very inept smuggler and a hot mama of a Princess he's going to wish he never wanted to get drunk and hit on, and whom he's really going to regret being kissed by in
the next film....



THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

HUMOROUS VERSION

In 1980 on the remote ice world of Hot, the Rebel Scum Alliance are hiding out freezing their b u t t s off holed up in a cave hoping the Empire isn't smart enough to be able to discover the location of their new base. As luck would have it the Empire does find their base but the Rebels evacuate to join up with a loose association of ships that just seem to travel around the Galaxy for the next five years until they get a lucky break and an opportunity to destroy the Emporer himself, fed intentionally planted intel by the Emporer himself to lead them into a trap set up by the Emporer (just finish that sentence with 'himself' and see what happens) itself (okay, now that's just weird)! For some reason Hands Off and Lee can't get their Hyperdrive to work and they are forced to haul a** on sublight engines all the way to the Tibana Gas Mines on Clod City on the Gas Giant Planet of Aspirin. But the Empire gets there first and Hands is frozen in Triple Ripple Fudge. Meanwhile Marcus has traveled to DayGloBah to train to be a Jedi under the tutelage of the wizened Jedi Grand Master Yoga, who gets over 200 adult channels with his sattelite dish in his hut and who never teaches Marcus exactly how to use most Force powers at all. When Marcus senses Hands and Lee are in danger, encouraged by Yoga, he faces his near uncle Darth Vacuous and gets trounced soundly....

RETURN OF THE JEDI
HUMOROUS VERSION


After a very convoluted and ridiculously and poorly executed rescue of Hands Off from the Vile Clutches of Pizza du Hutt, Pimp Action Billy Dee Callirissean leads the assault on Deadly Star 2: The Sequel, Marcus learns that he kissed his own sister, and, disgusted, allows himself to be captured by the Imperials, hoping to Redeem the husband of his and Lee's mother, but what actually happens is the oddest, strangest, most epic ending to any Humorous Version to this date, so weird and confusing that even now in 2021 Manakin's Force Ghost is still scratching his head in bewilderment at just what the hell had happened back there....

THE SEQUEL TRILOGY

THE FORCE AWAKENS
HUMOROROUS VERSION

Rainbow from Nowhere spent her whole life thinking her family would eventually come back for her after leaving her stranded on Jakkuzi as a young girl, but when the Call to Adventure comes she is torn between helping the noble cause of the Revolution against the Third Order, Kindof Thin and his Knights of RenandStimpy, Armpit Hoax, Captain Spasm and Supreme Fuhrer Snot and going back down to the surface of Jakkuzi to wait for her family to come back more. Meanwhile, Fun-2187 finds out that though he has absolutely no Jedi training whatsoever, he can twirl and wield Manakin's and Marcus's brightsabre like a pro. Moss Canada calls the Revolution to assist Rainbow, Fun and Hands Off on the lush planet of Tacodinner, and a hasty plan that defies the laws of practical physics is hatched to destroy the Starhurter Base so it stops its nasty habit of killing five planets that happen to be perfectly aligned, making rather easy targets, at a time ,and for the last time, people, it's the Hosnian Prime System that got destroyed, not the Core Worlds and Coruscant was not in the Hosnian Prime System! Stop worrying! Coruscant is fine! Rey finds she too has been transferred by Osmosis through Fun the ability to suddenly wield a brightsabre better than Kindof Thin who has had years of training, and for some reason no one fell straight to the ground complely unable to move as a massive earthquake breaks the entire planet of Illum up, and somehow Kindof Thin, Rainbow, Fun and Captain Spasm all get safely off it right in the middle of the process of the entire planet blowing up, not to mention it was way too easy to destroy a superweapon like,10 times bigger or more than the first Deadly Star built inside an entire fri****' planet! Oh, did I just give the entire plot away? Well, at least there's still the end credits....


THE LAST JEDI
HUMOROUS VERSION


Almost right after the last movie ends, the Third Order can suddenly and inexplicably track the Revolution Fleet through Hyperspace, and in retaliation for destroying Starhurter Base, they destroy the Revolution Base on the planet of Dark. Making a last ditch effort to flee, through Hyperspace being chased through Hyperspace by Armpit Hoax, and as the ships run out of fuel one by one, and are picked off one by one, they make one last stand on a world with CRYSTAL CRYSTAL POWAH FOXES and Rose Teacup almost gets herself killed to prevent Fun from making a heroic sacrifice that would have saved the day, so Marcus has to save the day, but he is only projecting himself from Ahch-To to distract Kindof Thin long enough so that Rainbow can save the day. Well, at least the day does get saved, and another completely impossiblde stunt by all the laws of practical physics is pulled by Admiral Holdover to buy Fun, enough time to try to save the day, Marcus enough time to cause the distraction, and Rey enough time to use the Force a hundred times more amazingly than even Master Yoga ever had to actually save the day, so between the three of them the day gets saved, and oh, did I mention that Princess Lee Smits spends half the movie in a coma, and Fun starts the movie in one, and Rainbow and Kindof Thin, after killing Snot, who believed the intention was to kill Rainbow which was actually Thin disguising his intent to kill Snot with the intention to kill Rainbow (That's not how the Force works!) exit the Imperial ship completely unscathed after it is blown to smithereens by the physics defying Holdover maneuver! And we haven't even gotten to Episode IX yet...


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Note to mods: What goes on offfsite is like when Purp did the same thing I did in 1999 AD when he compiled and edited the TPM HV Special EDition on Yahoo! Geocities/Times Square and what I did while I was away. I was hard at work. On your site I will only post original material. There's a lot of that now, actually. When I do get all the original authors together in about seven years they will all get not only credit, their own autographed copy by all of them of the HV books, but a lot more. Jurisdiction ends at this site as you told me three months ago which is why Purp was free to make TPM HV Special Edition, Here I will always follow the rules. Someday the HV's will almost be as famous as Star Wars itself. Every author that can will get royalties eventually. When I found CAVE -I with the subsidary of SpeakVacand PurpParody Unlmtd I will use my money to help society in general. Mark my words. Much love, Brent "study3600" Sohlden.

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