Saga Desert Illuminations (Intertrilogy, Obi-Wan) 08/11

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by red rose knight, Jul 10, 2008.

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  1. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2001
    Title: Desert Illuminations
    Timeframe: Intertrilogy
    Characters: Obi-Wan and possibly a shimmering ghostie
    Genre: Drama, Action
    Keywords: Obi-Wan
    Summary: This is yet another Obi-Wan in the desert type of story. I'm basically following movie canon so it likely will be AU to the books.

    The usual disclaimers apply. This is George Lucas? sand box, I?m just playing in it. I also have to add my apologies to J. Michael Straczynski.

    Author?s Note: I had started this story and abandoned it part way about two years ago. This story always held a special place and I have always regretted not finishing but with time, some new ideas, and focus I am going to revive it. [7/22] I am breaking it up into a series of short stories and vignettes about Obi-Wan's experiences in the desert.

    I will try to post every five or so days, but at the very least once a week until this is finished. That's not to say if I get some time and inspiration, I might post more often as I don't want to drag this out. That said, I will not be maintaining a PM list, but I hope everyone can find their way back as their time and interest permits.

    [b][color=steelblue]Desert Illuminations[/b][/color]

    [b][i]Whispers in the Sand[/i][/b]

    [i]Pale pink and white blooms overflowed the weeping sayhaka trees and gave a sweet smell to the Koymha Gardens deep within the ancient Jedi Temple. The fragrance was tempered by the mist of the great waterfall that dominated the craggy stone wall that framed one end of the vast chamber.

    A rainbow swept down, vanishing into the crystalline waters of the shallow stream that nourished much of the plant and animal life within. The rush of falling water echoed throughout the chamber, but at the base of the waterfall, the surge was so powerful that it nearly drowned out all thought.

    Surrounding the pool was varied large stones, their tops smoothed by the many Jedi who found meditative repose upon their rich, black veined surfaces. It was not uncommon to find a Jedi sitting against the rage of falling water, training their mind against distractions and strengthening their focus and connection with the Force.

    Such was the lesson plan that Qui-Gon Jinn had devised for his fifteen-year-old apprentice.

    He had abandoned his student hours ago balancing on a small stone at the edge of the pool, so close that the spray from the waterfall coated a mask of forced calm.

    The muscles in Obi-Wan Kenobi's legs ached as he wobbled slightly on the tiny base he stood upon, but he carefully wrapped the pain into a small ball and released it into the Force. He was having trouble with his lesson in concentration. It had been easy in the beginning?which felt like a lifetime ago?to drown out the roar of the waterfall, but now it had pierced his mind and there was nothing he could do to silence it.

    Allowing his gaze to wander, he watched the ripples in the water grow wider and disperse as if fleeing the torrent. Concentric circles burst through the surface sending the reflections dancing in different directions as golds and oranges with hints of silver and black darted beneath the water?s surface. Occasionally the koymha fish that inhabited the pool and stream would gather near the stone Obi-Wan was balanced on as if drawn to the warm Force presence.

    Or perhaps they were just mocking him.

    No, he was certain that they were laughing at him, waiting for him to lose his balance and go for a swim with them. They would just have to be disappointed, Obi-Wan told himself before drawing in several deep breaths, holding each one briefly as he sought his calm center.

    There was a lesson to attend to and so far he was failing.

    Why in all the wide galaxy had Qui-Gon chosen such a place to listen to the Force? >
  2. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 25, 2007
    [face_dancing] It's so good to see you back on the boards with what seems to be a tremendous beginning to another incredible story. I've read your stories over the years and I truly enjoyed them. The Uncertain Path trilogy was one of the best series that I've read.

    Anyway, enough rambling...;)

    I thought this part was a perfect description of the Force.

    Very quickly, he realized that was not the answer Qui-Gon had been seeking. The tall master shook his head saying nothing and yet, the disappointment was still palpable. Pressing a hand to the wet stone for balance, Qui-Gon leaned forward and reached out with the other, the spray from the cascade collecting on his fingers and pooling in his palm as it turned the sleeve of his cloak dark and heavy. ?Do you not see? The Force is the waterfall.?

    Please PM me when you update this story and I'm looking forward to the next post!
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    loved the beginning to this story and you can PM me if you update.
  4. Itachi-Uchiha

    Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 21, 2007
    So wonderful to see that name back on the boards. :) *bows to the master*

    I look forward to more of this gem and will keep an eye out for updates. Great start! =D=
  5. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    Incredible. I love Qui-Gon's lesson in the beginning, how it weaves into Obi-Wan's less gentle present, alone on Tatooine. You have the most graceful way of telling a story. [face_love]
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    I'm glad to see that you are posting again on the boards. I really liked the description of the waterfall and how Qui-Gon was trying to teach Obi-Wan about the Force. The contrast of the wetness and dryness is a good way of introducing us to his current situation.

    Great job.

  7. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 15, 2003
    I love Obi-Wan in the desert stories. :D Love the first part, with Qui-Gon and the Temple, and how it contrasts with the harshness of the desert. Really liked your characterisation of Obi-Wan, also - he has that subdued sense of humour that you see in the movies.
  8. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2001
    jedidas3?Thank you very much.


    Itachi-Uchiha?I haven't been gone that long. :p

    LuvEwan? [face_blush] To me, Obi-Wan's memories of the past are all that much more poignant when his current life lacks everything he once had.

    Diane?I figured since I started this story here even though it is getting a new life, I thought it appropriate I should finish it here. Besides, this story has weird glowing walls and it is almost seven years to the day that I started posting my first story with weird glowing walls here. It just seems fitting. :)

    Knight_Aragorn?Yay! I figured everyone would be choked to death on Obi-Wan in the desert stories by this point. Glad you liked Obi-Wan's characterization.

    I am going to try to post every five or so days, but at the very least once a week until this is finished. That's not to say if I get some time and inspiration, I might post more often as I don't want to drag it out. That said, I won't be maintaining a PM list, but hope everyone can find their way back as their time permits. :)

    [b][i]Ancient Bones[/i][/b]

    "What gods did I offend this week?" came the gruff voice of the Zabrak caravan leader as he plowed through the sand drifts toward the lead bantha. His breather unit hung loosely at his shoulder, dangling over layers of weather worn brown and tan material. His almost reddish skin had more natural lines than detailed facial tattoos. A sign he had faced the binary suns for many years.

    Under the yellow, sunburnt sky, the bantha shook her head creating a sand shower from the woolly mass of tangled hair. New lesson, stand away from the bantha after a sandstorm, Obi-Wan told himself as he retreated from the pelt of the grain and shook it from his own hair. The bantha stomped at the ground and plaintively called out, but to Obi-Wan's experience, he had never heard one that sounded happy. Behind her two others called out in a similar.

    He glanced toward the Zabrak who had stopped and was staring at the line of sleighs, the unhappy banthas and the two half-buried sand rollers. There was no hint in the sky or wind-smoothed ground that a storm had recently passed except for the mess that was the caravan. Only the Jawas were busy digging out their sleigh brimming with junk gathered at Visya, the rest of the crew was milling about tending to their own equipment.

    Remembering his own problems, Obi-Wan turned his attention back to shaking the sand out of his tattered grey cloak and hair before loosening the bands that held the mask in place. Taking in a breath of the hot, dry air, he pushed the mask down so it rested against his chest. Fishing a pair of dark goggles out of his coat, he quickly pulled them over his head and adjusted them. It took a moment for his eyes, even with the brief blast of unfiltered daylight, to adjust again to the blue filtered world.

    Sand tumbled from the breather unit, and he sighed as he gave the canister several more good shakes. It would be a long rest of his life, he thought as he headed toward the main sleigh that was sitting lopsided on the dune.

    "We were only eight hours out of Anchorhead," Tornek Fey'lar growled as he kicked at one of the runners the large cargo container sat upon. "It will take hours to dig out." Turning slightly to look at Obi-Wan, a faint breeze shifted through the Zabrak's loose hair. "Just tell me there are no other storms on the horizon."

    "I do not believe so," Obi-Wan said softly, trying to muffle his strong Core accent.

    "Finally, a bit of luck then." Tornek grabbed the thick reins that controlled the lead bantha and started to bark commands. With an unhappy grunt, the creature obeyed and the straps between it and the sleigh pulled tightly. "Come on, Satcha!" he chided as he pulled the bantha toward him. "Come on!"

    The cargo sleigh was too deep; it would have to be dug out first. Obi-Wan decided to say nothing and instead rushed to the back and pressed his gloved hands to the light blue container. Though not metal, the casing was hot t>
  9. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Lovely new chapter and what will they find?[face_thinking]
  10. ObiKajanee

    ObiKajanee Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 25, 2003
    I am so, so very happy you have picked up this story again. I love reading your work.
  11. charie

    charie Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 6, 2007
    [face_dancing] I too LOVE your stories! So great to see a new one from you. PM please.[face_dancing]
  12. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    I've always loved your descriptions. I can practically taste the sand!

    Great job.
  13. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 16, 2005
    Excellent as is everything else of yours I've read - you are one of the authors that almost made me give up writing in despair that I would never be 1/2 the writer you are - so there! But I'm reading and enjoying anyway.

    You have this wonderful ability to create an environment that we inhabit as well as your characters.
  14. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2001

    ObiKajanee? :) I never intended to abandon it, I figured a few months and the next thing I knew it was two years later although I admit to opening it up several times thinking about continuing it. Glad you found it.

    charie?It's kind of a new old story. I never really stopped writing, I just write stuff that can't be posted here. ;)

    Diane?Eew! Why would you be tasting sand? :p Well, it does get everywhere. Hopefully you'll find other things that are just as vivid as the story moves on. Obi-Wan has to deal with a lot worse than just sand....

    Valairy_Scot?Thanks! The environment is just as much a character as the players. Everything that happens affects or is affected by the characters so it is very important to make it as alive and lively and as it can be.

    Thank you everyone for your replies, they truly are appreciated.

    [b]In Darkness and Light[/b]

    A gentle breeze shifted through the canyon stirring the sand and dust into little spinning clouds around the fallen ship. The dancing particles swept up the ramp and drew Obi-Wan?s attention to the strange, reddish-brown script painted on the sloped floor.

    The writing grew more intense in color and compact the closer it was to the shadowed interior. That definite line between the light and the darkness of the ship seemed to move and for a moment, Obi-Wan thought he spied?

    Nothing at all.

    There was nothing. Just dust, as old as the ship. Compounded with exhaustion and the heat, his mind was playing tricks on him, like a mirage in the distance. The effects of the long days journeying across Vouru?Atar were getting to him, and he knew that he should be more conservative with his thoughts. It would be too easy to allow desert madness to grip him.

    Vata's footfalls offered plenty of warning to her quick approach. Her tan and red armored body suit quickly filled Obi-Wan's peripheral vision. "How did you get it open?" she demanded.

    Pushing himself to his feet, Obi-Wan said with a slight laugh, "It just needed a little nudge." It was not a lie, from a certain point of view. He could sense her intent focus from behind her mask, she was quite suspicious of him, but who on the caravan wasn't? For that matter who wasn't suspicious of each other on the crew. Everyone there was running from something, even Tornek, but that wily old Zabrak knew good help when he saw it and chose not to ask certain questions.

    Testing the ramp with a little bit of weight on one foot, Obi-Wan decided that it was stable before starting up the ramp. At least he didn't think the ship would collapse on top of him. The script took on the tread of his boots, while much of it blew away in the breeze.

    "The inner walls of the cockpit held," Vata?s filtered voice sliced into his ruminations. She held her weapon at ready as she followed closely behind Obi-Wan. "This may not be a complete loss."

    Obi-Wan glanced at the rifle in her grip but knew she would keep her wits about her. Presently, he sense no threat that she intended to shoot him in the back. He would not have felt so safe with other members of the caravan crew. Hach was the first that came to mind. Pausing at the top of the ramp and seeing only darkness ahead, he activated a small glowrod built into the heavy wrist guard.

    The bright beam of light cut through the darkness like a lightsaber.

    Stepping into the shadows, Obi-Wan felt as if he were swallowed up by eternal night. Everything about the ship felt old, even the death. He stepped carefully over the sand dusted floor, leaving prints for the first time in many generations. There was a reverence to his movements as if treading on hallowed ground as he cast the light across the cargo bay floor. Touching the Force, he reveled in its energies as it wrapped around him and guided the sweep of the light. The white beam splashed across a wall covered in the same script that had been on the ramp. He sensed no immediate danger as he strode deeper into the chamber.

    The hiss of escaping air sounde>
  15. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 16, 2005
    Very good! Strangled - by Vader?
  16. azizah

    azizah Jedi Master star 1

    Sep 4, 2006
    Wow, you have me completely engrossed in this story. Most Obi-Wan in the desert stories are all introspection, but this one is full of interaction, and such an interesting group he has landed in. And I love all of the references to his past life.

    I am glad you decided to post this. I can?t wait for more.

  17. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 1, 2007
    Tatooine desert.


    ...and a mystery!

    Sign me up! (For PM's:) )
  18. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    He better be careful. Using the Force might not be a wise idea. I loved the way you described the ship and how things were positioned. But he's got one suspicious person next to him.

    Good job.
  19. cdmcc

    cdmcc Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 24, 2005
    Very interesting. I like your style:)

    Good ideas, well dealt with.

    Keep going!
  20. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2001
    Valairy_Scot?Maybe. [face_mischief] Maybe not.

    azizah?Well, Obi-Wan didn't spend eighteen years sitting on the edge of the Dune Sea waiting for a signal from the Force. He had to do something I figured and ending up in the middle of bad situations is what he's good at. So I just followed along.

    ratna? :)

    Diane?Glad you are enjoying the ship but you haven't seen nothing yet. ;)


    Thank you all for reading and replying. I hope you enjoy this little flashback.

    [b]Lines of Communication[/b]

    [i]"There could have been another ship, something more comfortable."

    "You're muttering again," fourteen-year-old Anakin Skywalker said as he leaned forward giving his master a curious stare.

    Obi-Wan sighed at the scrutiny. "I am not muttering. I was just thinking aloud." Biting back a sigh, he admitted that he was worn out but was certain he was vocalizing clearly. At least that's what he thought, it was hard to tell after the wild three days they had just escaped. What was supposed to be a simple series of conferences on Maltus VII turned out to be a race for his life. The frightening part was that this was just the lull between storms.

    [/i]They[i] would eventually catch him.

    He leaned back and promptly discovered a point digging into his lower back. "I am certain there could have been other ships to choose from," he growled as he reached back and pushed on the object so that now it poked him in the hip.

    There was a bump that jostled the two Jedi and shook everything in the [/i]Ardent Sage's[i] cargo hold. Obi-Wan stared up at bundles of what looked like some sort of dried lizard hanging over Anakin's head. They rustled as they swung from hooks and threatened to come tumbling down upon his apprentice's head with the next rough patch the ship hit.

    Anakin didn't seem to notice as he was more fascinated with the craft's workings. "Not really. It was this or a Melthian cargo ship heading to Ord Baladan, or we waited. I didn't think we wanted to wait. You said you wanted off that planet quickly and return home. We're heading to Coruscant."

    Pride swelled in Obi-Wan. [/i]He listened for once![i]

    "Besides, this ship was more wizard than the Melthian."

    And Obi-Wan promptly deflated. "Of course."

    "Whoa," the youth whispered as he turned to study the infrastructure of the dingy cargo bay. "I?ve never seen a Zangem bone ship up close before. The holos don?t do it justice. Just looked at that?"

    "I'm glad you are happy," came Obi-Wan's frustrated response just as Anakin became fixated on a control panel. Reaching nervously forward the master said, "Do not touch anything."

    Anakin frowned and looked at him. "How am I supposed to learn that way?"

    "You can learn from holos."

    "It's not like hands on, Master. You keep telling me the importance of field experience."

    The ship jerked again and the cargo shifted. The object pressing into Obi-Wan's hip threatened to go through him if he didn't move so he situated himself to the other side of the container but found an interesting smell. "Yes, field experience is good," he explained as he looked for another space to crawl into. "But need I remind you of the [/i]Doto'daan[i]?"

    A guilty look coursed over youthful features. The kind Anakin always had just after something exploded. He sank into the space between two tanks. "Now that really wasn't my fault," he said meeting his master's even gaze. "It crashed on its own."


    "I pulled out only one control card."

    Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably in his new place before resting his back against a cloth container filled with something crunchy inside. He could only imagine what. "One was all it took."

    "I thought it would have a redundant system. Most ships do. I bet this one does." Anakin smiled and looked at the control panel again.

    "How about you practice your meditation exercises."


    "What's wrong with now?" Obi-Wan asked as he pulled his cloak around him. "This is a perfect ti>
  21. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Nice seeing Anakin and Obi-Wan together still on good terms in that flash back. Just two friends

    And great story.
  22. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 16, 2005
    How wonderful and yet - tinged with some sadness. Lovely.
  23. charie

    charie Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 6, 2007
    Great chapter! The last one too. I can't wait to find out where this adventure leads. I LOVED the flashback! =D=
  24. azizah

    azizah Jedi Master star 1

    Sep 4, 2006
    Ah, great flashback [face_love].

    Anakin is such a bundle of energy, I love how he just wouldn?t leave the cargo alone. Poor Obi-Wan?s nerves.

    And then this

    The boy looked up again. "He says you don?t listen."

    Obi-Wan quirked a brow. Said, he thought, but decided it was not worth correcting. He was well aware that Qui-Gon thought him fixed in his ways at too young an age, which often led to disagreements, but still, why would Anakin say something like that?

    He is as stubborn as Master Yoda at times, but a willing learner. I have great faith that one day, he will surpass even my knowledge in the Force.

    I think you overestimated me Master.

    Anakin?s voice pierced Obi-Wan's reflections. "He says he will be waiting until you are ready."

    "For what?" Obi-Wan asked sensing no deceit in Anakin's voice, no sense of wrongness in the Force's energy surrounding them. No, Anakin believed what he was saying.

    But Qui-Gon was gone.

    "I don't know," the boy answered.

    :_| :_| :_|

    As much as I loved this I can't wait to get back to the story and find out what is happening.
  25. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2001
    earlybird-obi-wan?Like any relationship, they had their highs and lows. I just have more fun writing about the highs than the lows. :p


    charie?It leads to very dark places. [face_devil]

    azizah?It's amazing that Obi-Wan survived, let alone had any nerves left after years of training Anakin.

    Sorry about the long delay, I er, got distracted by other bunnies and forgot about it. :/ I'll try to be better about posting until the end of this short. :) Thank you for being patient.

    [b]A Gathering of Shadows[/b]

    [i]Enam isam ram au anam asunno.[/i]

    The strange tongue echoed through the twisting interior of the Zangem ship. The words burned as the whispers swirled about the Jedi. Obi-Wan turned, listening for the source of the voice. Recognizing it to be Mirialan, not a language he understood, but he was still swept up into the glorious litany that set his soul on fire.

    [i]Enam isam sahra au anam ereman.[/i]

    "Where are you?" he asked of the song as it seemed to be everywhere.

    "Ben? Ben!" Vata called out over the singing but Obi-Wan barely heard her as he started down a corridor he was certain would lead to the source of the song. "Ben? This isn't funny, what did you do?" Vata demanded.

    Reaching back, he caught her hand before it pressed to his arm. "Nothing. Nothing at all." He pushed her hand back and stared up at the blue script. "This ship isn't as dead as we thought."

    "Well that doesn't me feel better," Vata said as she retreated a step. "How about making it stop?"

    "I'm not sure how it started," he said though in his mind, he had an idea. At least, he suspected that the ship had Force sensitive controls. Prompted by the litany he was moving again, running through the narrow corridor, bounding over corpses and debris with the blue glow guiding his way. Obi-Wan spied a partially open door and knew that was where he must go, he threw himself at it as the invocation vibrated all around.

    [i]Enam isam omar au anam anramasu.[/i]

    The sliding door was bowed and did not give in Obi-Wan's rush. He slammed into the unforgiving surface, but when it did not shift, he forced his shoulder into it pushing with every bit of strength he possessed. "Move!" he growled as if willing to door to obey.

    [i]Enam isam hohra au anam oma.[/i]

    "There is no death; there is the Force," he whispered along with the alien recitation of the Jedi Code.

    Metal grated against metal. The door suddenly gave, shoved into the wall and sent him tumbling to the floor of the bridge. He hit the sandy surface with a thud and oomph. Sucking in the fine powder that covered everything in the chamber, he started to cough as he sat up. It was worse than sand, lighter and far finer, it moved on the currents Obi-Wan had created, coiling upwards like smoke.

    Twisting about the blue lighted chamber, Obi-Wan found himself face to face with the desiccated remains of a dark robed figure. Scrambling backwards, he stirred up more dust before he regained his composure. Pressing a hand to his chest, he felt the tightness in it as well as his quick breaths. Stilling his mind, he calmed himself before reaching out and aiming his glowrod over the low hood of the figure. The cloth appeared a deep purple under a layer of pale yellow powder.

    The figure sat in quiet repose. One could have imagined her still alive were it not for the mummified appearance. Lips the color of the robes and an intricate pattern tattooed over the bridge of her sunken in nose. His gaze shifted to her hands; fingers still intertwined after all these years.

    "Have you gone mad?" Vata demanded as she came to a stop in the open doorway. In her hands, she held the rifle aimed at him.

    The divine song rose up again, repeating the ancient oath. Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan leaned forward, taken up in the familiar litany. It had not hit him until that moment that he would never hear the wonderful sounds of the Mirialan Jedi in song meditation again.

    Every time he thought he had completely l>
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