Saga Diary of a Swamp Thing--Pink 5 Dear Diary response--Stacey's year with Yoda--New post 7/7

Disclaimer: If you haven't heard of Pink 5 yet, you're probably wondering what my icon is and you're also missing out on a great thing. The Pink 5 series, created by Trey Stokes, is the award-winning saga of Stacey, a Valley Girl X-wing pilot who has the tendency to be in the wrong place at the right time and therefore somewhat save the day. The final installment, Return of Pink 5, Volume 3, will be released this year and you should do yourself a favor and go watch the entire series by then.

Anyway, I digress. The point is, about a year and a half ago, I wrote a Pink 5 fanfiction story and somehow got noticed by Trey Stokes, the aforementioned genius who came up with this. He graciously offered to let me write more and get lots of help from him. Naturally, I jumped at the chance and the first idea I came up with was this project.

In Pink 5 Strikes Back, Stacey wrecks her X-wing and fails to catch a ride with Luke Skywalker. She is subsequently stuck on Dagobah for a year under the tutelage of Yoda. No one has mentioned what happened in that year, but by the time she gets off the "stupid, dirty planet," she has a huge soft spot for Yoda and he for her. Explaining all of that was just too good to pass up.

So, anyway, this is my explanation of what went on there. This is not officially-sanctioned Pink 5 backstory--I will tell you when Trey has approved of something--but the good man has given me immense amounts of help with characterization and spoilers over the years and when I PMed him to ask if I could use the idea that I'd pitched for my Dear Diary entry, he mercifully said "Okay by me."

Okay, so that was the longest intro ever, but I had to explain this. This will not make sense unless you realize that yes, the narrative style is supposed to sound like that.

On with the show!
*****
DAY 1

Okay, so this totally sucks. It's been, what, a whole day since the new kid ditched me here with psychotic frog guy? Something like that. Whatever it's been, Golden Boy totally peeled out of here without giving me a ride. Yeah, like he's got something so important to do. Whatever. I'm so over this place and who knows when I'll get out of here.

First thing I did was try to get a signal. Hey, I figure I got the smuggler guy on the phone once here already and maybe someday he'll check his messages. I've got to find my cell charger--there's no way I'm going to have my phone off when he decides to come to my rescue.

It's not like I really want him to come to my rescue. That whole damsel-in-distress thingy is for freaks like Princess Hairstyle who are just, like, totally desperate for a guy. Any guy, including MY BOYFRIEND. I'll get myself out of here on my own, dammit! It'd just be cool to know he cares. Make up for him going out with Miss Thang just because I wasn't there at Cloud City or whatever.

So, so far, I've texted him, my sister Tracey, that weird pilot guy who thinks I'm hot and my little robot guy. Maybe if he gets the text, he'll come help me fix my ship. I didn't mean for that big bat-thing to steal him. Yeah, it bites, but it totally wasn't my fault.

So, I got one text back and it's an ad. I'm stuck on a big mudball without a GPS and no wings on my ship and they still want my money. What are they selling this time? Oh, yeah, a new kind of mud mask. Like I'm really lacking that right now!

Maybe if I order something, they'll come deliver it here and I'll just snag a ride with them. I just have to figure out where here is. Note to self: Get a geography lesson from the frog guy or Invisiboy Kenobi tonight. One of them's got to know what they're doing.

First order of business, I so have to figure out what to do about the house situation. I've got this huge crick in my neck from trying to sleep on the ground in that hut and if I'm gonna be here for a while, there is, like, no way I'm staying there. Problem is, my ship isn't much better. That means I've go

 

*snags first post* Ish, put me on the PM List!

 

It's not like I really want him to come to my rescue. That whole damsel-in-distress thingy is for freaks like Princess Hairstyle who are just, like, totally desperate for a guy. Any guy, including MY BOYFRIEND. I'll get myself out of here on my own, dammit! It'd just be cool to know he cares. Make up for him going out with Miss Thang just because I wasn't there at Cloud City or whatever.

[face_like_totally_laughing_my_rear_end_off]

Brilliant! Wonderful! Encore! When can we expect the next update?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go re-watch the Pink Five films.

- lazy



PS: for the unenlightened:

The Pink Five Trilogy

 

I intend to update every day, even if it's something along the lines of "Day 36. It's raining and I don't know if it's the frog guy or me that smells this weird. Ew, I think it's me. GROSS!" or something like that.

 

palpyisgod2--W00T for first posts. Yes, I have put you on there. It wouldn't be a Staceyfic if you weren't here.

lazykbys_left--[face_dude_like_that_is_totally_awesome] Thanks! Encore for 364 more days? Hope you're still asking for mor later on. And thanks for linking.
*****

DAY 2

So, like, this planet totally has something against me. Either that or Master Amphibiboy is being way harsh with the weather vibes. Remember how much I totally like mud and more mud and, what was that? Yeah, MORE mud is really my thing? As if! Not only am I stuck here, I got ditched one day before the changing of the season. It went from Swamp to Rain in, like, ten seconds when I wasn't looking. So now it's all icky times ten.

I got a signal again, rang my bf for some quality time and what do I find out? His account's frozen, whatever THAT means! Gotta have positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Ohhhhhhhhm... Ohhhhhm...

SO WHAT?! So what if she's totally jumping him? So what if it's her oversized mouth that's talking to him in person. SHE MEANS, LIKE, NOTHING TO HIM. Do you hear me? NOTHING!

God, that felt good! Except the frog guy will probably totally go ballistic on me now. Every time I vent, he goes off on how anger is of the Dark Side, passion of the Dark Side. Well, apparently, grammar's of the Dark Side, too. The point is, I've totally got a right to be pissed and it's not like he's ever had a girlfriend, so he's one to talk.

Did I mention I'm hiding from him? Yeah, I am SO not going back there when he's living on a dirt floor and getting really handy with that stick thingy. If he wants me to be all buddy-buddy with me, he's going to have to LAY OFF the whole uber-strict attitude.

Besides, I've got a sweet ride here, even with the wings knocked off. Bangin' sound system, TV and all the chick flicks I've been dragging from base to base. I think I'll watch Sleepless on Sullust and see if I remembered to pack any junk food.

 

All hail Ish, the Mistress of Comedy!!

PM me please!!

(And, ya know, I really gotta watch Pink Five. Good grief, my old producer Keith is their sound guy!)

 

DarthIshtar: I intend to update every day

You are completely insane.

But in a good sort of way.


So much good stuff - what to quote, what to quote . . .

Gotta have positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Ohhhhhhhhm... Ohhhhhm...

SO WHAT?! So what if she's totally jumping him? So what if it's her oversized mouth that's talking to him in person. SHE MEANS, LIKE, NOTHING TO HIM. Do you hear me? NOTHING!

God, that felt good! Except the frog guy will probably totally go ballistic on me now. Every time I vent, he goes off on how anger is of the Dark Side, passion of the Dark Side. Well, apparently, grammar's of the Dark Side, too. The point is, I've totally got a right to be pissed and it's not like he's ever had a girlfriend, so he's one to talk.



- lazy

 

LLL--All hail unexpected reader who I would never have thought to see in my expression of uber-silliness. I'm glad you're enjoying that. You really do have to watch Pink 5. It's beyond hilarious. I literally cried I was laughing so hard at the premiere of Return of Pink 5, Volume 3.

lazykbys_left--I am completely insane. I wouldn't be an uptight Bostonian English major college student insurance-claims agent with a CD case full of Rachmaninoff who randomly bursts into Valley Girl if I weren't insane. Glad it's in a good way. That entire section that you quoted was intended as a prelude to a story that was commissioned by Star Wars Outsider in which Stacey makes the decision to go for a job interview in the Empire rather than running off with the Rebellion to be all heroey as usual. It's yet to be posted, but there's a really fun part in which she rationalizes WHY Han is letting Leia go after him. I love the whole thing with "Apparently, grammar's of the Dark Side, too."

*****
DAY 3

Yeah, I thought the whole hiding thing was going really well, but all of a sudden there's this weird smell coming from the back. I was pretty sure I'd showered in the last week, so I went and checked it out. Wanna know what it was? FROG GUY INVASION! Dude, how rude is that?! I mean, so what if his house flooded? It's totally not my fault the guy's never heard of a floor and he was stupid enough to stick his house in the middle of a swamp. What does he do when he doesn't have someone to mooch off of? Scare of those big bat-thingys? Maybe I should feel sorry for them after all. The frog is stuck on their planet and they've got my little robot guy, who just doesn't know when to SHUT UP! Maybe I'll get him back once they figure out that he's always like that. At least I'm used to it.

So, anyway, every time I try to talk, he chews me out for being too loud. So now my whole ship stinks and I have to do this by hand instead of recording it. It's going to take forever. Maybe if I let him say something, he'll back off. Wait a minute, why am I trying to do him a favor? It's MY SHIP! I wonder where the little stinker stashed my lightsaber. I bet I could totally scare him off, get him to go foul up somebody else's mud.

So, you know what he said when I freaked out about him being in my robot jack? "A Jedi you will be. Complete your training I shall!" Oh, sure, so he ignores me for the whole time the new kid Luke's here and then thinks he can just pick up where he left off? Yeah, right! I mean, I still have burned hairs from his little joke with the Goth suit. Sure, he'll be all great for a while, but then probably someone else will come along with no fashion sense and a bad haircut and he'll get all excited about him for a while. This is totally not what I'm supposed to be doing. I mean, sure, it's fun having a sword and all and I'm getting to be pretty good at picking up things with my brain, but he won't stop yapping about the Living Force and all that crap. If the guy would just lighten up and ditch the attitude, I might even like him eventually.

Well, maybe not like him, but I bet I'll stop wanting to whack him over the head with that stick of his.

 

More Pink 5! Yay
I'm in.

 

Oh, sure, so he ignores me for the whole time the new kid Luke's here and then thinks he can just pick up where he left off? Yeah, right!

Yeah, Stacey - tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine!

BTW, I noticed you're updating your other Dear Diary entry at the same rate as this one. Are you sure you're not three people sharing the same account?

- lazy

 

Awesome! I love it. Would you please put me on the PM list? LOL, Stacey's great!

 

[valley-girl_voice]Like, totally loving this...You've like sooo captured the Pink 5 Spirit[/valley-girl_voice]

Great Job

 

This story is absolutely hilarious! I've always enjoyed the Pink Five videos, and this story seems to go right with them. Great diary!

 

Oh, wow... I'm not sure there are enough laugh emoticons to truly express how funny this is...

Ish, I love it!

 

LOL oh my god that was funny as anything.

 

MsLanna--I have the same enthusiasm. Glad to see you here.

lazykbys_left--I have a theory that the love/hate relationship between Yoda and Stacey is a byproduct of them never being stood up to quite like that except in their case. And no, I'm not three people. Believe me, I once had the head admin ask the same question because there was a theory going around that I was Noelie, Kateydidnt and DarthIshtar. Thanks.

Quigonjecca--Thanks! Will do. Stacey is da bomb and that's not saying enough.

hyperspace_police--Dude, like thanks! I totally try. :-D No, really, thanks.

LilyHobbitJedi--I'm glad it's hilarious. The Pink 5 movies are absolutely the funniest thing I've ever seen and it is an incredible privilege to have the creator let me do this, much less be nice enough to give tips and feedback on occasion. I'm glad these go well with them. Thanks!

RK_Striker_JK_5--LOL, I'll take your word for it. Thank you!

JediKaren--LOL, I'm glad it was. Thanks.
*****
DAY 4

Recording again because the little guy is finally asleep and we figured out how to make a little tent out of my robot seat and an extra blanket. So, he's back there and can't hear me anyway. At least I hope so. I taught him a new word: "Dude." It'll take him a while to get the hang of it, but maybe then he'll get me.

So, I decided to start this whole diary thing because I wanted something to keep myself entertained. Look back on the good times or whatever. What I'm starting to get is that this is going to be a MAJOR letdown. I mean, okay, what am I supposed to say? "Today it rained and then rained and froggy over there totally reeks and oh, did I mention it's raining?" I mean, come on!

Yeah, if no one's caught on, it's still raining, dammit! I totally haven't gotten used to the frog guy's stink and he's been stealing my chips. So what if he forgot to bring his junk food stash? They're MINE and if one more bag goes missing, I'm going to kick his slimy little...

Ooh! Wait, got a text! "Hey, Stacey, sis told me you're on a totally sweet vaca. Any hot guys? Bring me back a t-shirt. Love, Mom!" God, I hate it when she tries to talk like me. It's so not cool. "Dear Mom, Does Tracey have like a totally warped idea of vaca or were you not listening? Am stuck in a swamp. Only guys around are an invisible dead guy and a frog. Frog wants me dead. Need lipstick or will die. SEND HELP NOW! Ciao ciao, Stacey."

Well, if that doesn't get her attention, I'm totally skipping Life Day next year. Ohmygod. What if I'm stuck here for that? That would so totally bite. I don't even think greenie celebrates Life Day. Well, okay, neither do I, but there are awesome presents and totally sweet parties. Last year, me and the boyfriend totally spent the whole night at the party under...Well, anyway. What does Tracey know about, what was it? "A totally sweet vaca?" She's been on on, like, twice since she got out of school.

I went away to that freak school for bucketheads because I wanted to get out and see the Galaxy. I left all that stupid freaking mud back home and where do I end up? IN MORE MUD! Am I missing something here? Is there some magic way to totally AVOID THE MUD?

I swear, when I get out of here, I'm so going to the beach. I'm going to lay there for a week or something and forget I've ever HEARD of water. You know what I mean?

Okay, enough ranting for one day. I'm going to see if it's stopped raining. Wish me luck!

 

DAY 5

Okay, so I'm sneezing and coughing and I can't tell if I've got a cold or if I'm just allergic to frog. God I hope it's an allergy. It'd be the perfect reason to get him to back off. I mean, I wasn't exactly in his fan club before, but after all this time in my ship and trying to figure out how long it would take me to swim to dry ground...well, you get the idea.

Dude, guess what? It's still raining! I've run out of things to watch, I've given myself three different pedicures and my fingers are totally cramping from texting so much. If this keeps up much longer I'm totally breaking out some vintage stuff and singing along. Maybe that'll work...

Oh, so news! Frog guy finally has a name! I got tired of calling him little green frog guy or froggy or midget and who can remember his name? So, I just called him "Hey, you" and he totally digs it. Much easier!

If it stops raining tomorrow, I might just forgive him for the smell.

 

lol keep at it. I totally, like, need, like a good laugh!

 

Drat it, missed an entry.

DarthIshtar: I have a theory that the love/hate relationship between Yoda and Stacey is a byproduct of them never being stood up to quite like that except in their case.

The first time is always special, hmm?

I once had the head admin ask the same question because there was a theory going around that I was Noelie, Kateydidnt and DarthIshtar.

Oops - sorry if I brought back unpleasant memories. [face_contrite]


I went away to that freak school for bucketheads because I wanted to get out and see the Galaxy. I left all that stupid freaking mud back home and where do I end up? IN MORE MUD! Am I missing something here? Is there some magic way to totally AVOID THE MUD?

I had no idea what this meant until I read your other Pink Five fics. I'm loving the extended character development.

*turns to everyone else*

The links are in Ish's bio. Go. Read. Now.

I swear, when I get out of here, I'm so going to the beach. I'm going to lay there for a week or something and forget I've ever HEARD of water. You know what I mean?

Although I must wonder how she intends to forget about water on a beach.


Okay, so I'm sneezing and coughing and I can't tell if I've got a cold or if I'm just allergic to frog.

Dude, guess what? It's still raining!

If it stops raining tomorrow, I might just forgive him for the smell.

I think I'm falling in love . . .

- lazy

 

JediKaren--LOL, thanks. I hope it continues to make you laugh.

lazykbys_left--Quite all right. It is, after all, the weekend and even I get out of the house on occasion. The first time is special--hence H/L. Don't worry about the 'unpleasant memories. It still makes us amused at times. Heehee, I am a self-merchandiser. You can't quite get everything without getting sucked into the random acts of everything else. I'll now unlock them all in case people have the urge to read and review. Exactly the amusing thing about the beach is her thinking about avoiding water on a beach. With whom are you in love?
*****
DAY 6

Can't talk long. It stopped raining and there's something like sunlight. Maybe it's one of those miracle things. I totally hope so.

I definitely have a cold and of course, I don't have a tissue. "Hey you" keeps telling me he can cure it, but there is NO WAY I'm letting him do that. I asked and it's Swamp Thing Stew. His name, not mine. I'll probably end up looking just like him, hairy ears and all. How gross would htat be? Totally vile.

Well, anyway,, I gotta jet. Frogster and me are gonna go try to dry out his house. Maybe after that he can build me a freaking addition. So I don't have to spend the whole time in my ship.

So, dude, I think I'm going to try that whole Jedi thing again. It was kinda fun and I can totally learn some sweet tricks to use on the creepy guys back home. But we totally have to set some rules. For one thing, if he hits me with that stick, I'll bonk him with my lightsaber. And he's totally got to start taking a bath.

Maybe this can work after all. Maybe not.

 

you continue to keep on stuck on the floor laughing my butt off. Well done!

 

DarthIshtar: With whom are you in love?

Not whom, what. I am head-over-heels in love with this fic. *blinks* Which probably means I'm in love with Stacey, too. Hmm . . .


I asked and it's Swamp Thing Stew. His name, not mine.

I bet it's his own recipe.

And he's totally got to start taking a bath.

I dunno, I get the feeling Yoda washes himself with boiled swamp goop. Boiling = hygenic, yes?

BTW, do I want to know how Stacey's been keeping herself clean?

- lazy

 

JediKaren--LOL, thanks? I guess that's good!

lazykbys_left--Oh, good. I'm very pleased by that. And Stacey's taken. Definitely his own recipe. Pretty much that's how I figure it, sort of like Shrek, only weirder. And we're not going there, not yet.

DAY 7

Today was a MAJOR improvement. First of all, it didn't rain one minute. B, I totally had fun Force-whammying rocks. Thanks to my lesson, I now have a 'bedroom'. So what if it's two stone walls and a roof that might fall off next time the flood comes? The ground dried up enough so I could put down a bunch of wood for a floor and then a couple of blankets for a carpet. I can't stand up in my room, but it's big enough so I can get a good night's sleep without a free mud mask.

And we did it all with the whole Jedi thing. It was totally awesome. When froggy wants to, he can be pretty cool and he was so happy about it that he only whacked me with his stick twice! That's like a major step, right? Maybe I'll still be able to walk when I leave! Plus with all those bruises on my legs, it's SO a good thing I'm not going to be stepping out for swimsuit season. That would be way uncool.

Oh, well. When I get back, who knows where all the goody-goody guys will be camped next? We went from a jungle to a snowball. What's next? A forest? Gah, with all those bugs? Well, I mean, anything would be better than this, but you get the point.

So, I'm thinking. If little green frog guy can lay off the whole corporal punishment thing, maybe I could put up with him until my ride shows up. Learn something to impress the guys or something, right? I'll talk to him about it tomorrow.

 

lol you tell a great story! It's a great once a day laugh to read and I need to laugh these days.

 

This is still great. It's a cool way to get an idea of what went on in between the Pink 5 episodes.

And maybe Yoda will learn to speak "backwards valley"...doesn't he say something like "To the hand talk" in one of the Pink 5's? Or did I dream that?

Great Job!!